!WARNING!

This fic was not written to offend anyone. This fic was just done because a crazy fangirl was bored and couldn't think of anything else to write. If it offends you it won't be the writer's fault. Boredom is to blame.

CHAPTER 1 THE VILLIANS

Mirta entered the Councilling room and sat down. She pulled a sparkling blue pencil out of her black skirt pocket and used it to write on a piece of paper on a pink clip board. She sighed and shook her head. Why did I have to chose this assinment for my school project? I just know there are going to be a bunch of fights and I can't stand fights!

She looked up when she heard the door open. When she saw who had come in she groaned inwardly. No! Not them! Anyone but them!
It was the Trix sisters and their boss Lord Darkar. Icy glared at Mirta. "I can't believe we have to come to councilling!" she complained, sitting down on one of the couches next to Lord Darkar who had sat down as soon as he had come in. "And I can't believe our psychiatrist is none other than that stupid pumpkin kisser Mirta."

"Let's just leave," Darcy said, flopping down on the same couch as Darkar and Icy. "I just know this is going to be boring!"

"Yeah, whatever," Stormy said, also sitting down on the couch. She flopped down between Darcy and Darkar. "MOVE IT, DORKAR!" she shouted at her boss.

Darkar stared at her a moment. "WHAT DID YOU SAY!" He demanded glaring at her.

"I said move your big fatt butt!" she shot back, wacking him in the helmet with her fists. "And try taking a shower once in awhile! You stink like horse crap!"

"I DO NOT!" he yelled back, looking ready to wring the storm witch's neck.

This was already starting to get out of hand. Mirta cleared her throat and tried to get control of the annoying villians. "Uh hem," she said crossing her one leg over her other one bit biting the eraser of her pencil. "Are you ready?"

The villians stared at her. "Ready for what?" Darkar asked cluelessly.

"For councilling," Mirta replied poking his knee with her pencil. "Why else did you think you came here?"

"I thought this was a super villian convention," he said looking around. "Why is this room full of bunny pictures and pink? I HATE PINK! I MUST DESTROY ALL THINGS PINK!" He jumped off the sofa and charged up a dark fire attack. "DIE PINK!"

"SIT DOWN THIS INSTANT!" Mirta shouted, getting out of her chair and grabbing his arm. With a mighty heave she shoved him back into the sofa, almost squeeshing Stormy in the process.

"HEY!" the storm witch shouted pounding on Darkar's back. "GET OFF MY LEG, YOU FAT HOG!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" he demanded, looking ready to pound her but not doing so because she was a woman.

"I called you a fat hog," Stormy said cockily. "You got a problem with that?"

"Yes, I do!"

"WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP!" Mirta shouted looking ready to break her clipboard over Darkar and Stormy's heads. "You didn't come here to fight! You came here to get counciling for your problems. Now if you aren't going to tell me your problems I'm going to have to kick you out of here!"

"Fine with me," Icy said starting to stand up. "I didn't want to come here anyway.."

"SIT DOWN!" Mirta shouted using magic to make the door disappear.

Icy stared at the spot where the door used to be, then at Mirta, then sat back down next to Darkar. "I'm going to kill you for this," she muttered to him.

"Nyah!" he said sticking his tongue out at her.

"Okay, enough of that, little boy," Mirta said addressing Darkar. "Let's begin."

"Whatever," he said shrugging. "But I can tell you now I don't need a witch rejects help."

"Oh really?" she asked raising an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." he folded his arms with confidence.

She knew where to stike the right nerve. "Don't you have problems with women?"

Darkar stared at her in horror. "How did you know that?" he demanded.

She grinned evilly. "I saw it on the security cameras in your realm," she replied. "You can't keep a girlfriend very long unless you put a spell on them. Just like you did to Bloom."

"Do not mention that name!" he shouted.

"Why not?" she asked twirling her pencil. "Is it because she never liked you and then when you took control of her she dumped you then too?"

"Shut up!"

"And isn't it true that you and Icy went out while you were going out with Darcy?"

"YOU WHAT!" Darcy demanded staring Darkar. "YOU BANGED ICY WHILE YOU WERE BANGING ME!"

"Um...," he stammered. "I... uhhhhhhh..."

"WHY YOU NO GOOD DIRTY ROTTEN-!"

"I'm sorry!" he shouted. "I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!"

Darcy looked satisfied. "Good," she lay her head back down on the arm of the sofa and fell asleep.

"Okay then," Mirta said writing something down. "You are a pervert."

"I am not!" he protested.

"Yes, you are," she said grinning evilly. "You even banged with Professor Griffen didn't you?"

"I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT!"

Mirta shook her head. "Fine," she said writing something else down. "but you do have commitment problems. I can tell by the way you always wear that mask. You have to hide your face. Why?"

"That is none of your business," he informed her indignantly.

"You are ugly aren't you?" she asked, taking an obvious guess. "You have an inferriority complex don't you? That's why you always wear that ugly mask. Your face is ugly isn't it?"

"No..." he said hesitently.

"Then why did you hesitate?" she asked. "You can tell me. Everything you say doesn't leave this room. I promise."

Darkar stared at her. "Uh... um..."

"Just tell her!" Stormy shouted, banging on his head. "You have a butt ugly face and that's why nobody sees it not even us!"

Darkar froze then his lower lip began to quiver. Then he broke down. "It's true!" he admitted loudly. "It's all true! My face is uglier than a orgers! Nobody likes me! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he threw back his head and huge gushy tears began to spill all over Stormy and Icy.

"Oh gross!" Icy moaned inching away from the Under Realm Lord. "Turn off the water works!"

Mirta handed Darkar a tissue. "There, you see," she said. "Isn't that better now?"

Darkar took the tissue and blew his nose. "Uh huh," he said in a squeeky voice as he nodded his head.

Stormy stared at him in disgust. "You are going soft, dude," she said annoyed. "I wouldn't be surprised if you hugged that pumpkin head!"

Mirta chose to ignore that comment and so did the villian. She was done with Darkar now. She turned her attention on Icy who glared at her. "What?" the ice witch demanded.

"Icy," Mirta began. "Isn't it true that you are the most inconsiderate sister in the universe."

"What do you mean by that?" Icy demanded.

"Isn't it true that Lord Darkar asked for a a new mountain bike for Christmas and you got him an ugly Mickey Mouse Steamboat Willy tie?" the red haired witch asked, tapping her pencil against the clipboard.

"Hey, that tie was on sale!" Icy shouted. "And it made a statement."

Darkar let loose the water works again. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" he wailed grappling Icy's blue shirt. "HOW COULD YOU BE SO MEAN?"

Icy eyed him warily. "I couldn't afford that stupid bike," she shot at him. "I thought the tie would look nice."

"I don't even have any clothes on!" he shouted. "That stupid tie won't match anything I wear!"

"Oh," she said not caring at all. "Whatever."

He let go of her but glared at her. "You could have stolen the mountain bike," he muttered.

"Yeah, I could have but I didn't," she said. "But remember you are the one who bought Stormy Prozack for Christmas instead of buying her that punching bag she wanted."

"The punching bag was violent," he protested. "I didn't want her learning violence."

"Going soft aren't you?" Icy scoffed.

"No!"

"Yes."

"NO!"

"YO!" Mirta shouted slamming her fist down on the arm of her chair. "I was talking to Icy. While I am talking to Icy I want you to keep your mouth shut. You got that Dorky?"

"WHAT DI-" Darkar caught himself. "Yeah, whatever."

"So, Icy," Mirta went on, looking back at the ice witch. "How do you plan on improving yourself and making yourself a better person."

"I don't need to be a better person," Icy said, stomping her foot like a little child. "I didn't even want to come to this session."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Darkar wailed suddenlt for no appairent reason..

"What now?" Icy demanded glaring at him.

"You stepped on my foot," he whined.

"Well.. sorry," Icy said.

"You see," Mirta said perking up. "You are already on your way to becoming better person."

"Huh?"

"You told him you were sorry."

"Well yeah. I didn't see his big foot there."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Darkar wailed. "I do not have big feet!"

Stormy, how was getting very annoyed by Darkar's constant wailing, snapped. "SHUT UP!" she screeched, jumping out of her seat and wrapping her hands around her bosse's neck. She started to choke him. "STOP ACTING LIKE A BIG BABY!"

"GLUG!" he choked trying to pull her hands off his neck.

"Please remain seated," Mirta said calmly. "Stormy, stop choking Lord Darkar. You'll have your turn to speak next."

"I don't want to speak!" Stormy shouted, banging Darkar's head against the back frame of the sofa. "I want him to shut up!"

"There are better ways to shut someone up besides choking them," Mirta said, her voice even.

"Yeah, Like wh-WHOA!"

Just then Stormy found herself part of a flailing contest. Lord Darkar was running out of air so he began thrashing about trying to get the witch to let go of his neck. He wasn't aware that while he was doing this he was making Stormy dig her heals into Darcy's face, who was currently napping. Darcy didn't like the rude awakening and woke up in a horrible mood. "How dare you wake me up!" she shouted using her dark magic on her sister and her boss.

Darkar and Stormy stopped flailing and slammed down on the floor. Mirta shook her head. "This is hopeless."

"Darcy!" Stormy shouted blinded. "Darcy! I'm going to kill you!" she squinted her eyes and looked around. "Where are you, Darcy?"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Darkar wailed. "I can't see!"

"Okay," Mirta said, who had just about of enough of these losers. "I see we aren't going to get much done today so before I wrap this up why don't you all tell me what you hate the most? Darcy, would you please unblind your sister and Darkar."

"Fine," Darcy scoffed removing the curse.

"I can see again!" Darkar said happily.

"Please sit back down," Mirta instructed. "There is one thing left for me to ask you before we end this for the day."

"Yeah, what?" Icy asked.

Mirta tapped her pencil on her clipboard and leaned forward again. "What do you hate the most?"

"That's easy," Stormy said already knowing her answer.. "Musa."

Smirta wrote that down. "Why do you hate Musa?"

"Because she's such a goody goody," Stormy said, talking civalized for the first time since the session started. "She thinks she's so great just because she plays the flute and can sing. I can sing but was I ever aloud to hold a concurt?" she glanced at Darkar as she spoke. "Nooooooooo!"

"You wanted to hold a concert?" he asked her. "Who would come?"

"Grrr! THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT!" she shouted in his face.

"Enough!" Mirta ordered. "You can yell at him all you want when you get home." the witch looked at Darcy. "What do you hate the most?"

"Riven."

"Why Riven?"

"Because he dumped me."

"I think you dumped him."

"Whatever," Darcy said folding her arms and looking away. " I still hate him. I'm done. That's all I'm going to say."

"Okay." Mirta looked at Icy. "What do you hate the most?"

"Bloom and Stella."

Mirta took some more notes. "Why do you hate Bloom and Stella?"

"I hate Stella because she's an airhead and I hate Bloom because she gave the Ultimate power back to Realix."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! The Ultimate power!" Darkar whined, having a flashback of a bad experience. "Fairy convergence! THEY KILLED KERBOG! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"Will you cut that out already!" Icy growled, bashing Darkar over the head. "Get over it."

"It seems we have gone over to Darkar now," Mirta said looking at the Shadowhaunt Lord. "So what do you hate the most?"

"Being dumped," he replied, his voice getting all whiny. "Bloom! My beloved Bloom! Why did you have to leave me!"

"Oh, shut up!" Darcy shouted. "She never liked you anyway!"

Mirta shook her head and handed Darkar another tissue. "I think we should end here and finish this later. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is," Icy said ready to get out of there. "I never wanted to come here anway!" The ice witch stood. "Let's go."

Mirta watched them go. When they were in the hall she heard Darkar yell. "BLOOM! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME BLOOM? I'M GOING TO KILL THAT BLOND PUNK WHO TOOK YOU AWAY FROM ME!"

"SHUT UP!" Stormy shouted.

Mirta heard a loud crash then an "OW!" and shook her head. "That didn't turn out very well. I think they are worse then they were before."

A/N

I hope none of this offended you. I'm just trying to be funny. Hehe. Darkar has a thing for women. Didn't you ever notice that? Incase you might be wondering, Kerbog was Darkar's little pet bat. Who should I do next? The Specialists? The fairies? The Pixies? The teachers? The three principles? Let me know okay?