Naruto Obey Me Konoha!

The time skip doesn't seem to have made Naruto any smarter in some aspects. Case and point, he discovers a way to hypnotize people and STILL can't get Sakura to date him! That's fine, he has his hands full with everything else that's going wrong with the people he's already put under. It gets even worse when Gaara comes to the Leaf for a visit. R&R plz

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters. That right goes to Masashi Kishimoto. Now on to the fun!

Chapter 1: Strange Souvenir

Team Seven had gone through some changes over the past couple of years. One of the major ones being Sasuke's departure. He left the village and expressed no desires to come back any time soon. His replacement was Sai, another change. A very strange one in Naruto's opinion. From day one, he thought Sai was a little on the strange side. Sai had turned out to be a valuable team member and a good friend, even if he was a little dense in some aspects. He was just ignorant when it came to friendship and social situations. Another change was their sensei. Kakashi joined them on several missions but there was another man who would accompany them when Kakashi could not and his name was Yamato. He was another weirdo in Naruto's opinion. The team was older and stronger. They went on more missions, Sakura had more skills than she did before, including monstrous strength.

Despite all the new goings-on, some things never changed. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he begged or pleaded, Sakura would not go out with Naruto. She absolutely refused. Naruto had been trying for years but she was adamant about staying 'just friends' with him. And he was lucky to get that.

Still, Naruto never gave up. He kept trying. He believed one day he would impress her enough to get her attention. Or at the very least a pity date. For now, every time he asked he would get a punch to the stomach or a very loud 'no' to the face in front of everyone. He saw it as an improvement. Before she would just walk away from him without a word. At least now she engaged him verbally or made physical contact. One day he would get his chance and get that date. One day he would win her affection.

He thought he had a chance today during their mission but that was a hopeless failure. The mission was a success but Naruto's chances of a date never stood a chance. Naruto walked behind Sakura on the way back to the Leaf Village with Sai. Sai had been appointed leader on this mission which meant they would both have to listen to him. Now that they were heading back, Sai was more flexible about what they did between here and the front gate. This came into light when they passed through a small shopping area just outside of a tiny village.

"Hey, check it out." Naruto pointed to one of the shops. It was a small rundown building hidden by overgrown trees and shrubs. It looked like a novelty shop. Where the other stores sold clothing and produce, this one sold items Naruto found very interesting.

Sakura looked at the overgrown shop wrinkling her nose. "Why would you want to go in there? The place is probably dirty. I mean, look at the outside of it. The owner doesn't seem to keep up with anything."

Naruto's stomach growled. "They could have food."

"It's probably expired, Naruto! Everything about this place looks old and rundown. It's probably not even in business anymore. Let's keep moving. You can eat when we get back to the village."

"But I'm hungry now!" he whined. He couldn't wait. He was already climbing the wooden stairs to the front door.

"Naruto, get back here!" she ordered.

"Come on!" Naruto turned around. "I thought girls liked shopping."

"Not in that dirty old place!" She turned away folding her arms.

Sai was smiling. "But girls enjoy getting gifts. And you wouldn't have to step inside."

"That's right. I'll buy you a gift."

"I don't want anything from there. And Sai, you stay out of this."

"I was only..."

"We need to get back to the village."

"That can wait!" Naruto protested. "I'll be really quick, ok? I'm just getting a candy bar or something."

"Sai, tell him!"

"Tell him what?" Sai was a little confused.

"Tell him we don't have time for this! We need to get back home."

Sai looked at the shop and then to his watch. Then he looked at Sakura. "Actually, we have time. The village is less than an hour away and it's the only noon or so. We have plenty of time. Lady Tsunade doesn't expect us back so soon."

"Yeah, listen to Sai," Naruto pointed. "Just let me get something quick to munch on and we'll go."

Sakura growled. It seemed like everyone on this team was against her. "Sai, set up a time limit!"

"Huh?"

"Five minutes!" Sakura held up her hand, all five fingers raised. "He has five minutes to find himself something to eat. That's it. If he's not out of there in five minutes, we drag him out."

"What?" Naruto whined.

Sai nodded. "Seems appropriate."

"What? No, it's not!"

"Why not?" he asked. "Surely you can find a candy bar in such a small store in less than five minutes. Just grab something and go."

"That's right," Sakura added. "And time is ticking, Naruto. Better hurry up."

Groaning loudly, Naruto dragged his feet up the stairs. He pushed open the wooden door, the dusty bell ringing above his head. Naruto stepped inside. The shop really was small and not very well kept. Many of the shelves were covered in dust. Luckily there was a whole rack of candy by the front desk for a good price. He stepped forward and started checking them out. There was a decent selection and they didn't look like they had been sitting out long.

The woman behind the desk breathed a sigh of relief when she saw him walk in and take a look around. "Oh, good," she said. "My first customer in a week."

"A whole week, huh?" Naruto picked out a candy bar and started to unwrap it, unable to wait. "Why's that?"

"Oh, I suppose it's because people don't care much for novelties these days."

Naruto looked around at the snow-globes and teddy-bears tinted gray with dust. "Are you sure it's not because you don't clean this place?" he asked bluntly.

The woman chuckled politely. "I know I don't look it, but I'm getting on in years. I don't have the energy to clean as much as I used to. My family has moved on to other places so I'm here by myself, running the place by my lonesome."

"Uh-huh." Naruto took another bite of the candy in his hand as he leaned closer to the lower shelves. He poked books with his finger and blew dust off small music boxes. Then he got to a display case near the back of the store by the front desk. There were various rings and jewels behind the glass. Beside them he found a series of small boxes. Every one of them was closed so he couldn't see what was inside.

"Naruto!" Sakura shouted from outside. "What's taking so long?! You've got two minutes!"

The woman looked at him with a grin. "Is that your girlfriend I hear out there?"

"I wish," Naruto scoffed. "Say, you wouldn't happen to have anything that could make a girl like you, do you?"

"Like a love potion?"

"I'm hoping for anything at this point," he remarked. "I've tried everything but no matter what I do she won't go out with me. I even offered to pay and everything. One time I bought her a bikini I thought she'd look great in and she slapped me. I even told her I wanted to see her try it on. She choked me with it. I don't understand..."

The woman chuckled.

"It's not funny." Naruto banged his head against the glass case. "I get no respect from anybody. Not even my friends. What do I have to do?"

The woman tapped the desk to get his attention. "I may not have any love potions but I may be able to help with something else."

"Really? What?" Naruto was getting excited.

The woman opened the glass case beside the desk pulling out one of the long sealed boxes. She carefully closed the case and handed it to him. "This may do the trick. It's helped many people in the past, I understand."

Naruto looked at the sealed box, turning it over in his hands. "What is it? Magic or something?"

She laughed. "Close to it. Listen, you seem like a nice boy. I can't imagine why no one would respect you. I'm surprised you don't have a girl in your life who's just crazy about you."

"You and me both, lady."

She pointed to the box. "I think you can make good use of that as long as you're responsible. Just make sure you're careful with it. It can break."

"Yeah, but what is it?" he asked her. All he saw was a box. He had no idea what was inside.

"Inside contains a single necklace. You put it on and..." The woman started to chuckle again. "Well, there's a piece of paper inside explaining. Just be careful like I said. It should be able to get you what you want."

"Thanks. I-"

"Naruto!" Sakura boomed from outside. It sounded like his time was up.

Naruto fished around in his pocket for money. "How much?"

The woman shook her head. "Take it. And the candy, too. Think of it as a gift for being my first customer in a long time."

"Wow! Thanks, lady!" Naruto stuffed the box into his jacket pocket as he made for the door. "You're awesome. Bye!"

The woman waved him off as the bell chimed above his head as he stepped outside. He jumped down the wooden steps and landed between Sakura and Sai.

"I can't believe it took you five minutes to get that." Sakura pointed to the half-eaten candy bar in his left hand.

"Oh. Well, I-"

"Don't care. Let's just get back, ok?"

Sai and Naruto let her take the lead away from the shopping area and into the woods.

"Why's she so mad?" Naruto wondered aloud.

Sai watched Sakura walk ahead of him, studying her movements. "Hmm... It seems that perhaps she expected a gift after all and you didn't deliver so she's upset."

"But she said she didn't want anything from there."

"Hmm..." Sai tried to remember his readings. "I read in a book once that women will often say they don't want something when they actually do, expecting a second party to figure it out for themselves. Seems it's the girl's way to seem less demanding and to test how attentive the others are to her wants and needs." Sai tilted his head to one side. "Either that, or it could be that time of the month where there's just no pleasing them. Sakura does seem more agitated than usual. Her walking also seems slightly out of rhythm and uneasy. She also seems slightly bloated today. Either she's eaten too much or she-"

Sai was silenced with Sakura's fist to his face.

Jumping right into the fun next chapter.

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