1
It was a December day in the vast land of Amegakure, and the rain was continuously pouring down on the people below. Behind the mist stood two missing Nin who belonged to the Akatsuki, according to their exclusive cloaks symbolizing the organization. These two quarreling comrades stood on top of numerous ANBU ninja, masks crushed; blood on the floor, and as usual, no injuries and no scratches. The two 'zombies' were facing their defeated victims in mocking pity.
"Heh. Look at those assholes on the ground, practically bowing to Jashin-sama. Don't they look pathetic, Kakuzu?"
Kakuzu lifted his head from the ground, uninterested. "Eh. Let's move on, we completed our mission. Time is money, and it shouldn't be wasted."
Hidan smirked, laughing crazily. "You and your fucking sayings…" His attention spam ran out as usual, standing in a state of insult.
Kakuzu noticed this immediately, knowing too well that his partner would usually be satisfied with his killings. "What is it, Hidan?"
The immortal stood at a state of shock. "What the god damned hell is this shit?" he screamed from the top of his lungs, pointing to the surrounding sky in outrage.
Kakuzu's mind sparked, seeing what stood out to his baka of a partner. "Snow?"
He was right. Thousands of snowflakes came hovering down onto the two zombies, replacing the rain of Amegakure, and one landed on the nose of Hidan. He shook it off violently.
"AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS FUCKING MEANS?" Hidan faced his partner, scythe in hand, almost too close to his fellow member.
Kakuzu was about to lose it any minute. "What…"
Hidan exploded. "IT'S JASHINMAS!"
The five hearted Akatsuki member had nothing to say. He had to put up with Hidan since six months ago, and yet, he was more furious than ever with his 'precious' god Jashin. Jashin this, Jashin that… he was on the verge of removing every part of Hidan and feeding the scraps to Zetsu, the bipolar plant. "And what the hell is this Jashinmas…?" Kakuzu muttered, twitching his left eye from the insanity his death-obsessed zealot of a comrade.
Hidan screamed into the open air, his breath evaporating and appearing visible in the atmosphere. He pulled Kakuzu's cloak into him, staring him into his stitched and masked face. Kakuzu shrank back at Hidan's furious expression. "Jashinmas? You have no idea what Jashinmas is… you dumbass… it's the most fucked up holiday in the world!" He jumped and stomped childishly on the now snow covered carcasses. "You decorate the tree, I get to have my slaughterfest for Jashin-sama, and on that day, Jashin sends one of his angels to bring presents for all of the evil boys and girls of the world!"
Kakuzu sighed darkly. "You mean… Christmas?"
Hidan scoffed, almost choking on what his comrade thought. "No, you dumbass… that holiday is for mother fuckers… Jashinmas rules that other religion!"
Kakuzu stiffened in the snow covered ground. If this stupid holiday was just like Christmas, he would be the one in charge of purchasing all of the gifts, the décor, and emptying his wallet. That's not going to happen.
"Hidan… we're not doing this. It's final," he directed his lesser partner when both of them were walking to the Akatsuki base, leaving the bodies of the ANBU ninja buried in the snow.
"Well too fucking bad. I know for a fact that you are a cheap bastard and don't appreciate the Jashinmas spirit… you dumbass non-believer," Hidan pounded threateningly, "Besides, the whole organization will agree with me, and we'll all celebrate with huge amounts of beer and you'll be in the corner, bitching and complaining."
Kakuzu gave Hidan a mean, superior stare. "That's not going to happen, you baka."
Hidan folded his arms and stuck his tongue out like a five year old. "It will on my Jashin-blessed ass. You'll see."
. . .
Pein was settling on his desk, looking over papers. His mind was at ease, and nothing was to disturb him today. With a sigh, he was finished with his work and placed the pile in the folder next to him. This day was perfect. Nothing got in his way, and surprisingly, Tobi was in a quieter mood. That's all that mattered. Nothing was in his way-
"LEADER!"
Oh blessed me, Pein thought, rubbing the temples of his head in annoyance, Not Hidan…
The Jashinist burst into the room, arms in fists, raised high in the air. "It's almost Jashinmas! We need to have a fucking holiday! We've been working our asses off!"
Kakuzu followed in a limp, practically too tired to move. "Leader… don't listen to him… it's only more money lost from our savings…"
Leader stood up, irritated. "You mean… CHRISTMAS?"
Hidan gave an anime sweatdrop. "Sort of… you see, it's the same fucking thing, except for evil people… and we all need a break."
Kakuzu sighed in obvious annoyance, while leader mused. "How about we discuss it at the next meeting… which by the way, is tonight. My members will vote, and if we can, we'll celebrate. We may need a break… but I do remember the last holiday you dragged us into… Halloween." He shuttered, flashbacks of past memories of Jashin's other holiday, Halloween.
"God damn it, that's all over, you dick," Hidan muttered.
"Fine, a line is crossed about whether to celebrate this irrelevant holiday," Kakuzu declared, "But please… if we do this by miracle of vote, then Leader," he directed his attention to Pein, "Don't make me pay." The zombie duo left, both yelling at each other, the door closed behind them.
Pein sat down in his chair with a thud, staring at the door. Oh god, not another freaking Jashin holiday… Halloween even scared me to death, with Tobi streaking down the hall and Kisame intoxicated with all of that beer… he vomited onto Konan on our date! And Itachi was afraid of clowns and ended up burning with the whole base with Ameterasu… and Orochimaru tried to break in and rape Itachi! Ugh… Leader slammed his head onto the desk and tears stared forming from all of the bad memories the last Jashinist celebration. I'm really starting to reconsider this…
Me: Yay! Chapter One is finished! *smiles*
Hidan: Hey! My story, bitch!
Kakuzu: Don't even try, you baka. She's the one paying us to host this stupid party…
Me: Yep! *laughs manically in the background* Bribery is the perfect plan... Kakuzu-kun…? *whimpers and gives him the big eyes trick*
Kakuzu: *annoyed* What?
Me: *whispers in his ear* Five bucks if you tell the readers to comment! *snickers and sneaks in a Lincoln in his cloak pocket*
Kakuzu: Fine, fine. *to readers* Please comment on anything on this stupid story, whether it's good, bad, interesting, or telling us what you want to include. Miragechick2 will answer all questions on the next update before the next chapter. *sighs*
Me: Yayz! You're a lot easier to use than Hidan…
Hidan: Oy! I fucking heard that, ho!
Me: *whispering to Kakuzu* Another Lincoln if you decapitate Hidan…!
Kakuzu: *grabs it quickly* Don't tell any of the members about this little scheme going on.
Me: *salutes Kakuzu as he runs to behead Hidan* I WON'T! *clicks the stop button on the recorder and smiles evilly*