Hits like Bricks
Okay, so bear with me. This is my first fanfiction. I think is good, but you might catch a couple of spelling mistakes. I hunted down the ones I could find, but I might have missed. So, um yeah, READ! :D
Chapter 1
I wonder if she realizes that this is all her fault. Does she understand I don't want to talk? Does she think that talking will solve everything? Like talking will magically take away the images or it will stop her nagging and her unvarying pushes for me to be better.
(Breakup scene)
I don't love her. Okay, well that is a lie. I love her, but I am no longer in love with my old, auburn, curly haired and blue eyed beauty. This is torture looking at her sadness. I need to escape from the trembling, scared, angry, confused girl I just ended a half hearted relationship with. I swiftly saunter past her and quickly head towards my car in an attempt to avoid her speculations.
I can't stand how she overanalyzes every single thing I say or do. She acts as if I am a fragile, cracked, china doll that will burst into pieces if she accidentally holds me in the wrong way. She walks on egg shells when she's near me. I know she does, because I see her when she is with her friends. She couldn't have a single care in the world.
But with me it's the exact opposite. She is far too concerned with me; she doesn't notice she has morphed into a whole new person. She is not the Clare I used to know and love. I don't understand this person. I don't feel the butterflies I used to feel when she kisses me. I don't trust that my heart even belongs to this girl any longer.
Where can I go to avoid her? I definitely cannot go to the abandoned church. I think if I go to the Dot now I can evade Clare, because it is school time. I am almost positive Alli is not going to be here, so I won't be baraded with questions. As I pull up to the café, I am automatically attracted to the sweet aroma of coffee and pastries. I can no longer stay put, so I subtly meander into the Dot and take a seat quietly as I wait for a server to take my order.
My nerves rapidly increase with every second I wait for the server. "Hello there! What would you like today? Our special of the day is pum-"Peter says until I interrupt him, by saying "Chocolate mocha with extra whip cream and two pumps of caramel". My leg won't stop moving. "Are you okay Eli"? He asks me with pure concern in his eyes. "Umm, yeah. I mean I could… yeah I'm… I'm fine" I mutter softly trying to hide the fact that I am scared that Alli or Clare or any of Clare's friends could , by chance, happen to walk in and assault me with questions and their presumptuous ideas.
Peter walks away with a puzzled face while looking back at me. I hear the ding of the door open and I quickly look over to see a girl. The breeze from behind her sweeps past her and blows her perfume directly into my face. She walks by me without even noticing me awkwardly staring at her. What am I doing? I just broke up with Clare. I was just looking at this girl I don't even know. She is stunning though; who could blame me? Wait a second; she's holding a Degrassi booklet. I've never seen her before. Maybe she's new.
Should I introduce myself, because I could help her? "Here's your drink Eli" Peter says with a curious smirk. "Checking out the new girl aye?" Peter says imperturbably while placing my drink in front of me. "No. I was just… Um wondering who she is" I respond as I quickly think of something in my head. Peter can't know I was "checking out" another girl. "Yeah… Sure. So, will that be all?" Peter says with a sarcastic face. "Yeah, that's all" I say quickly so he'll go away. I look over to the side and I see her looking at me. My heart starts beating a million miles per hour as she simply smiles and looks away. Can she hear my heart beat from over there?
I glance over to her again, just to see Jake's truck pulls up. "Oh shoot" I mutter to myself as I quickly get up and grab my drink. I practically run to Peter and hand him the money for my mocha. "Wait you forgot your change" he yells as I dart out of the dot and into my car. I grab the keys and shakily start the car. I glance over to see if Jake saw me and I see that girl looking at me. Even though it was only seconds, it seemed as if we were looking at each other forever, then I pulled off. I can't get caught up with another girl. I can't screw them up like I did to Clare.
I hope Clare's okay, because I never meant to hurt her, I just couldn't grasp onto our relationship any longer. That girls smile pops into my head randomly as I pull up to my house. I sit there for a few minutes just remembering her smile. She's so beautiful. She had bangs and long, dark brown hair that turned blond towards the end. She had glasses and brown eyes and she was a little bit tan. Oh, and her smile was just so…. Her smile made me smile, but I can't help but feel as if it was hiding something. As if she wasn't happy. Whatever; I am probably looking too far into it. I get up and walk out of my car and sluggishly walk to the door and open it. "Cece! Bullfrog! I'm home!" I yell as I shut the door and lock it. No answer. "Well, I guess nobodies home" I say as I jump onto the couch and turn on the TV.
~~~~~~~The next morning~~~~~~~
"Ugh. What time is it" I say to myself as I wake up looking at the bright light shining through my window. I quickly glance over to look at the clock on my TV to see its 12:40. "Shit! Crap. Ugh, I've missed half of my classes!" I say as I get up and catch a head rush. I stand there boggled by what to do. What do I usually do in the morning? Oh, yeah! I gotta' brush my teeth. I practically run upstairs to my bathroom across from my room. Should I go to school? I mean, on one hand I might run into Clare, but on the other I don't need to miss a day of school. Plus, it is my final year of high school. I don't want to miss an opportunity.
Where in the hell are Cece and Bullfrog? I walk out of my bathroom with my toothbrush in my mouth and yell "Mom? Dad?". Seriously, where in the hell could they be? I spit out my toothpaste my pink sink that Cece obviously picked out (I would never have chosen a pink) and promptly saunter to their bedroom. On any normal occasion I would be way too petrified to even go within five feet of their door, but this was no usual circumstance.
I lightly knock against their door and wait for any noises; nothing. Maybe I should knock a little bit harder. I go for a second try and knock with a little more force and the door opens. "Cece?" I incredulously ask as I gradually walk into their room. There is absolutely nobody in the room. "That's so weird" I say as I leave the room and go to my own. I am just going to go to school and see if they're home when I come back. I take of my dirty shirt and toss it into the hamper and grab for my Dead Hand shirt and leave my black jeans on. They're not really dirty; I only slept in them. But if I wear the same clothes as yesterday, people might notice.
I amble to the bathroom and took at myself in the mirror. I look utterly atrocious. My hair is disheveled, my face is breaking out and it looks like I have black suitcases underside my eyes. I run the water and wait till its chilly and spatter it onto my face to see if it will make a divergence. I pat my face with the dark navy towel hanging next to the mirror and look up to see that nothing changed." Well whatever" I say and I jog down the stairs and dart out of the door and into the jeep.
It took no more than 10 minutes to get to Degrassi just as lunch starts… Great. That means thirty-five minutes for people to talk to me. And by people, I mean Clare and her friends. I glance around and confirm nobodies watching as I park near the back of lot. Perhaps if I run and sit in my calculus class for lunch, no one will detect I'm here. I see everyone come out of the doors and spread all over the stairs. Well there goes that idea.
Then I see her. She walks out of the Degrassi doors and sluggishly walks down the steps, over towards the green house and sits on the concrete. She has her hair curly and is wearing a blue shirt and black jeans with combat boots on. I look a little closer and I see she has a Dead Hand back pack. She is just so… mysterious and pretty and I can't think about another girl like this. I mentally slap myself and imagine Clare's trembling face. How could I do that to her? How could I end it like that? I should have been gentler. I wish I could end her hurt.
Who is that girl though? Ugh I just need to stop thinking. All I can see is Clare's face and the sadness in her eyes. I see the tears slowly fall off of her eyes and run down her cheek. "Why, Eli? Why would you do this to me?" Clare screams as she drifts away. I just need to take my pills. I rummage through the bag next to me and find my meds. I hurriedly open the cap as I hear Clare yell "Don't get rid of me! Cam died because of you!" and I swig the pills down dry. She is yelling and she won't impede. I clutch my ears as I lean my head on the steering wheel and sob. I didn't take my medication yesterday. I am just so stupid. That's probably why I'm having all of these extreme visions.
I wipe my eyes, look at my watch and realize there are only ten more minutes until the bell rings. I look back over at that girl to see she is staring at me. She smiles subtly and looks away. She was looking at me again. Does she know me and I just don't remember her? How could I forget that face? Does she like me? Has she heard what happened yesterday? Oh god. What if she thinks I'm a jerk? She looks back at me and my heart nearly bursts as we share a solid ten seconds of direct eye contact until I hear a knock on my window. I glance over to notice Clare.
Oh crap.
Okay, so I couldn't find the break up scene ANYWHERE. So, you all know how they broke up and we all know where. Hope you like my story :) Oh and by the way, I TOTALLY ship Eclare. I just want to make my own Degrassi. Okay? Okay. I shall update soon! Bye bye :D