Broken
By: Kayryn
Rating: G
Disclaimer: TNT's & Tess Gerritsen's. Not mine. Never was, never will be.
A/N: This one has spoilers from 1x05 and Tess Gerritsen's book The Body Double. Also I wrote this in the middle of the night and this has not been beta'ed, so all mistakes are mine.
Dr. Maura Isles stood in the middle of the morgue, feeling lonelier than she had in years. It wasn't unprecedented that Jane Rizzoli managed to confuse her, but so far those times had varied from absurd to adorable. Today she hadn't been able to smile and chuckle her way through her confusion. The friendship she shared with Jane was still new, but already she found she depended on her for so much.
This is why I prefer the dead. They can't hurt you.
While Jane's prejudiced dislike of the wealthy troubled Maura, she could still understand it at some level, if she really used her imagination. There were some people that had passed through Maura's life that used their privileged status to every advantage they could think of, good and bad. It was unfortunate but it wasn't who Maura was, or had ever been. From an early age, she'd wanted to make a difference, leave some good behind her on this Earth before her time was up. That's why it was the words that Jane had aimed specifically at Maura that hurt the most; that even after she'd explained why she worked as a Medical Examiner, Jane had thrown it back in her face, saying she didn't know what to believe. She didn't know whose side Maura was on.
She doesn't trust me.
Why did having or not having money have to matter so much? It was true that had Maura wanted, she would never have needed to seek work. She could have taken the money from her trust fund and instead of using it to charitable causes or investing it, she could have used it to live a comfortable life, traveling around the world and seeing places she now only wished she had the time to see. But that shouldn't define her as a person. And it didn't. It was fact that she had made that choice to make something of herself and what she chose to do that should count. Why couldn't Jane see that?
But that's not all and you know it.
If she was honest with herself – and Maura always was – she had to admit that part of her hurt came from her own insecurities about her background. She knew nothing about her true parentage, having been adopted as an infant. Maura was well aware of how much a person's background mattered, but it didn't mean their identity was synonymous with their family. Maura was more sensitive to her good fortune that Jane could possible imagine.
Do I even want her to know, now? Could I hope for Jane to ever understand?
She sighed, wishing for this case to be over. This one had been tearing her heart apart in one way or the other since the beginning, and she had an ill feeling there was more to come.
The end