Sparkled to Death

by Be one with Mother Russia

Winry recieves a letter in the mail, with a black seal. What is her reaction? And who died? This is complete and utter crack, developed when talking about how Ed would die. R&R, please! Its much better than the summary!

Soo... after getting Naruto/Death Note writers block, I have semi moved on to Fullmetal Alchemist. But this is purely a crack fic.

Disclaimer- I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. (If I did... lets just say it'd be different.)

...

Winry Rockbell looked up from her newest form of automail. "I sense a disturbance in the force." She muttered, eyes wide.

True to her thoughts, two days later, a letter came in the mail, with a black seal.

It read,

Ms. Rockbell,

I regret to inform you of Edward Elric's death in the line of duty. We

of the Central City base would be honored if you would attend the funeral.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, the brave young officer was called to action to save

One General Mustang from the hands of one of our own.

My greatest consolations,

Risa Hawkeye.

Risa Hawkeye.

Winry gasp, and put a hand to her mouth. "Oh Ed..." She whispered.

Three days later

"ROY MUSTANG." The General looked up, eyes wide. Ed's mechanic must have gotten Risa's letter. Oh shi-

The door slammed open, and the blonde bombshell stormed in, the much feared wrench grasped in her hand.

"Oh mister, you had better have some answers!" She snarled. Roy cringed.

"I didn't do it! I SWEAR! Blame Major Armstrong! It was his sparkle!" The man shrieked, trying (and failing) to avoid the wrench Winry was trying (and almost succeeding) to brain him with.

At the word sparkle, she paused. "...What?" She asked. Roy nodded sadly, relieved to see his head was safe, for the moment at least.

"Ed... he uh... choked on one of the majors' pink sparkles... and uh... died.." Roy stuttered. Winry blinked. Once.

Twice.

Three times.

Then she bowed over laughing. "Se-Seriously?" She giggled. Roy gaped at her.

"How can you laugh at a time like this?" He demanded. She giggled again.

"Oh, if he died of his own stupidity, I can't really blame anyone, can I?" She asked.

Roy nodded hesitantly. It made (slight) sense.

the next day

On Ed's tombstone.

"Here lies Edward Elric.

Beloved Brother

Son

And Friend.

Much loved Alchemist of the People.

1920-1938.

He lived by his own rules

And died of his own stupidity,

Choking on a sparkle.

We will sorely miss you,

Our brother,

Teacher,

Lover,

and Friend."

Winry let out another giggle.

...

Aaaaand that's a wrap. I had a conversation with a friend, when we talked about the stupidest ways for Ed to die, and the first thing that came to mind was this. Hope it made you laugh!