Disclaimer- I don't own Hinterland/ y gwyl. All copyright belongs to BBC Wales and S4C. No copyright infringement is intended nor should be inferred
Insecurity
Mared leant back against the kitchen counter feeling sick. She knew she should be happy. Her daughters were both happy and healthy, the man she loved was currently in the next room Skyping his daughter in Canada. She was back at work and had slipped back into routine easily with Lloyd and Sian.
"Hey." Tom walked into the kitchen. "Hannah says hello. Meg is thinking of bringing her to Wales for a week or so in the summer." He smiled, genuinely happy that his relationship with his daughter seemed to be on an even keel. He frowned slightly as Mared nodded. "You ok?"
"Yeah." She lied. "Everything ok in Canada?"
"Yes." He leant in the doorway appraising her. "Hannah has finally managed to pronounce the baby's name properly." He smiled slightly as he thought of the thirteen year old and the ten months old baby asleep in her cot.
"Eirlys Hope Mathias." Mared smiled. "I still think we were right to add the welsh too."
He nodded, agreeing with her. Mared sighed as he reached her. "What is it? Have I done something?"
"No." She looked at him before turning away.
"Well." Tom stood behind her. She could feel his warm breath on his neck and the heat radiating from him. She loved him. She really did, but recently she couldn't help but think he would rather be with someone else.
"Elinor Gillespie."
Tom was wrong footed as he heard the name.
"The girlfriend of the murder victim?" He switched back into work mode. "What about her?"
"I saw Tom. Yesterday when we were interviewing her. I saw the way she looks at you. The way you looked at her. And I don't blame you."
"Excuse me?" Tom paused. "I'm lost."
"She's gorgeous. Blonde, tall, legs up to her armpits and I bet there isn't one scar or stretch mark on her entire body. I don't blame you for looking. Not when I'm like this."
Tom sighed. He knew he should feel angry. Mared knew he would never cheat on her. That he loved her and their life together. Thinking she had compared herself to the hard-faced blonde murder suspect broke his heart.
"Like what?"
"Boring, dumpy, covered in fat with flabby bits. A Mum-tum and stretch marks." She wipes her hands on a plain white tea towel. "I'm as dull as dishwater."
Tom closed his eyes, keeping his thoughts to himself he stepped nearer so now his body touched her. His hands wrapped around her waist, holding her to him as he kissed her neck.
"You are not dull." He kissed her ear. Mared froze. "I wasn't looking at her. Not like that anyway. Not like how I look at you. And for the record you are gorgeous and sexy as Hell."
Mared bit back a sigh as his lips moved to her shoulder, kissing the exposed skin he found. Mared tensed.
"Tom."
"You are far from fat. Those stretch marks are signs you had our girls. They're not something to be ashamed of. They prove you are someone's mum." He kissed her hair as he held her to him, still facing away. She could see their reflection in the kitchen window as he spoke. "I don't fancy that woman. Any look you saw me direct towards her was contempt. The woman killed her fiancé for money."
"I know but."
"But? She's the exact opposite of everything you are? You're right. She is."
Mared tensed again.
"Cruel, nasty, fake and a killer. The woman is evil. You read the PM. You are nothing like her." He turned her so she was facing him. He looked into her eyes, finally understanding why she had been so distant since the case started. "You think she looks like Meg? That I would go for her?"
Mared suddenly felt foolish. She couldn't drag her eyes away from his.
"After everything? All we've been through?"
"I'm sorry." Mared looked anywhere but at his face. She avoided eye contact as she spoke. "I just feel so tired, so dumpy and unattractive. I could see why a man would look at us both and see what a mess I am."
"No." Tom kissed her forehead. "Don't say that. You are intelligent, beautiful and I'm in love with you. No one matches up." He watched her blush as he felt her touch his stubbles chin. "I love you. I want you." He whispered as she pushed herself up on her toes so she could kiss him. He tightened his hold on her as the kiss became more intense. His hand slipped under her grey sweatshirt as he felt her hands on his back; almost tearing the fabric.
"Bed." Tom whispered as he pulled out of the kiss. She nodded as he lead her out of the room.
Xxxxxxx
A/N please review