Hi, so I started writing this some time ago and it's took me a long while and unlike most fanfics its written in three parts, this will be chapter one. I planned for this to be a Cato/Katniss story because i love the paring, so im sorry for all you Peeta fans, though there is a sense of romance at the start between the two. I kinda feel like this is slow moving, but I like to put detail in my work and i try to keep to character as much as possible because im not keep on OTT characterization. However, I hope you enjoy the firsr part and i can assure you part 2 which will be set throughout the games will be posted shortly after and then part three after that.
- The forgotten girl
Chapter one
They are ruthless, everybody knew that, uncontrollable and incalculable, no one dared touch the careers.
They were clever and trained, friendly and welcoming when they needed to be. Everybody feared them.
Everybody but Katniss.
Katniss stood no time for the cold blooded killers, neither did she count herself as one for volunteering, but she knew she wouldn't deny she is a killer, if she was, but cold blooded? No, Katniss would kill, but with remorse.
So as she sat here miserably waiting for her interview she couldn't help but feel sickened at the reactions of the audience towards the careers performances.
They were so predictable, the dumb blonde from one, along with the funny guy who seems to laugh at everything, to the boy with the black eye and the girl who loved knives. It was the same every year, yet every year the audience seemed ever so shocked and in love with them.
It was pathetic.
"Katniss, what on earth are you doing? Sit with your legs shut, your going to ruin the dress Cinna put so much time into!" Effie says huffing, snapping Katniss from her trance.
Katniss looks up and rolls her eyes at Effie before obediently shutting her legs. She would snap back but she sees Haymitch eyeing her from across the room and she figures it wouldn't be worth it.
"Don't hurt your cheeks from smiling too much sweetheart your gonna need all your strength in that arena" Haymitch says sarcastically, as always his dark brown companion in the crystallised glass in his hand, it swishes in the glass and katniss stares at it longingly deciding it would be better to focus her anger somewhere else, she wasn't going to give him what he wanted.
What she'd do for a drink right about now...
"You look nervous, do you want to go up?" Peeta asks softly next to her, thank god, the only person who's not criticising her and genuinely asking how she is.
"I don't think I have a choice" Katniss says smiling properly instead of the false or sarcastic smiles she'd been aiming like arrows at Haymitch and Effie all morning.
Peeta smiles slightly to himself, his forehead creasing, no longer covered by his blonde dishevelled hair. He looks very handsome.
"You don't seem nervous at all" Katniss says turning to him and scanning his face for the possibility he might break under the pressure of it all once he does go up.
Peeta sighs and sits back "what's the point? They either love you or they hate you right? And we'd only be playing there game if we tried to be someone were not"
Katniss' eyes go wide slightly at what peeta just said and she turns in surprise whilst stating "you don't want to become like them do you?"
"Like who?" Peeta questions confused even though it was more of a statement.
"The careers, the capital, everyone who doesn't care" katniss replies quietly so they don't know they're talking about them
"No" peeta says pausing for a moment to think before carrying on "The careers are nothing but pawns to the capital...I want to stay well away"
Katniss nods letting the information sink in, she didn't suspect Peeta would go near them, so it wasn't really a shock. She was glad, because she had no intentions to either.
The two were silent after that, neither of them saying a word as they watched the interviews.
District one's girl tribute Glimmer made Katniss want to be sick. She was all looks and no brain, she was obviously just relying on her looks to help her win and Katniss couldn't help the slightly sadistic thought of cutting the girls hair off and smearing her face with mud.
Peeta didn't even show one ounce of emotion though, he just looked rather hardly at the hovergram his eyes concentrating so much she could see the clogs turning in his brain. He was forging a plan - she could read just about that much.
It wasn't long before district one was over and district two was up. It was the boy with the black eye up first. The nickname had came from when she saw him volunteer, he'd got a black eye then, left to be exact, and she noted to herself not to mess with whoever gave him a black eye like that.
But as the blonde headed brute walked onto the stage now, Katniss could see his stylists had given him some sort of miracle capital treatment which distinguishes them because his face was now pristine.
His 'take' was obvious, aggressive and bloodthirsty, yet charming and mysterious. It wasn't as bad as district ones but it certainly wasn't interesting.
It was halfway through his interview though when Katniss was barely conscious that Peeta nudged her attention. Katniss' head shot up as she heard Peetas voice saying to watch, so she looked up perplexed...
Caesar Flickerman was wearing a dashing smile as he said enthusiastically "Well Cato we were all very intrigued by the scores this year, and a ten was quite impressive on your behalf, however, what about twelves score of eleven? Are you worried?"
Katniss' eyes were glued to the screen which panned in on Cato now and she couldn't help but lean forward in anticipation at what he was going to respond with. To be honest she expected anger or hidden embarrassment but what followed she didn't expect at all.
"I certainly do not doubt my odds Caesar and I certainly do not think an eleven will put a dent in district twos continuance to win the games" he smiles confidently and puts one leg across the other whilst leaning back casually.
Caesar seems to take this with a pinch of salt and says to the audience loudly and rather excitedly "It looks like our district two tribute, Cato, doesn't have any qualms this year about himself or his districts chance of winning!" Caesar flashes a smile and turns back to Cato as the audience roars with energy until it quietens down again and he says "But a more serious question Cato...a lot of the people have been questioning weather there will be an alliance between twelve and any other districts, especially one, two and four?"
Katniss was curious at this point. She didn't really care weather they wanted her or not because she hated them, but she was more curious as to how he will respond to such a question. Though, she couldn't help the glow inside of her as she felt the kick herself that such a question probably made to his ego. He seemed all too calm about this as he laughed and fell back into the seat at Caesars question.
But Katniss isnt prepared for the next thing he was about to say and it made her blood boil "Well in fact, there is an alliance this year between twelve, one and two" Cato says smiling sadistically, this inegious glint in his eyes at what he'd just announced.
Now, Katniss was livid.
Katniss stood up seething with rage as all the other tributes looked towards her startled, the little girl from eleven shrunk away in fear as she saw the fire in Katniss' eyes.
"THAT LIAR!" She screamed furiously.
Peeta stood up now and managed to grab her frame, Katniss kicked and screamed in complete frustration. Peeta dragged her away from the tributes into a small room.
What would Prim think? Her poor sister would now think she's one of them...her whole district would take her as a fool. She looked like a career. Like a cold blooded killer who revelled in the thought of taking innocent lives and making poor children suffer.
Her blood boiled and she retaliated against Peeta, but his grip was like a vice and it was Haymitch who was now making his move to try and calm her down. Luckily all of this was backstage.
Haymitch stood infront of her, ever so casually, as Peeta held her, Katniss had calmed down but refused to look at Haymitch and just glared at Cato's figure on the screens in the room as he shook hands and walked off the stage.
"Katniss" Haymicth said loudly in an attempt to get her attention.
Finally she looked at him, her eyes still however raging.
"You need to form an alliance with the careers now" Haymitch says bluntly looking Katniss straight in the eyes, his expression was serious now and Katniss knew she had to take his advice but refused to make out she was going to.
She huffed in frustration "Oh that's great Haymitch, I am not joining the careers! Do you understand what would happen when I get home and they find out I joined them?" Katniss screams back at him.
Haymitch seems unfazed at her tantrum though and rubs his forehead in an attempt to bring some life to his eyes before saying rather harshly "Look sweetheart I d-"
"NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Katniss screams at him, she'd completely lost her patience now.
"Fine, you go in that arena then and you go and die. Because little old me doesn't know anything about survival. You know you talk as if your going to walk out there all good and fine but I think what you forget is that you belong to them now"
Haymitch points at the screen angrily before carrying on "so shape up sweetheart because the last thing your going to care about is what everyone back home thinks when the fact is, your trying to impress Snow now and if you think for a second that your free when you win - your delusional. So shape up sweetheart and good luck trying to impress them out there with that amazing personality of yours!"
Haymicth walks off towards the door before exiting, probably to get a drink.
Katniss looks around, her face flustered, she wasn't angry anymore, just shocked at what Haymitch had said. He was right. Luckily all the other tributes weren't here, they must have dragged her into a room...but she still feels humiliated though.
Peeta let's go of her and stands to the side, he looks down at Katniss sympathetically before saying quietly "He's right you know"
Katniss glares at him at first but then realises that Peeta hasn't done anything wrong and she'd just announced that she's "going to win"...which means he was going to die.
"I'm sorry" Katniss says quietly, she looks at his soft blue eyes for a moment before she walks out the room.
She couldn't face being in there alone with him after what she said. Peeta follows her though and says to her softly "Katniss it's fine, I know I'm probably not going to win, but you...you actually have a chance"
Katniss turns and looks at him, does she really have a chance? She wants to help Peeta but she doesn't want to end up having to kill him at the end...he'd kept her alive once, she had to return the favour.
"What do you suggest I do?" Katniss asks quietly as they rejoin the line of remaning tributes as district three now has their interview.
"About the careers?" Peeta asks in thought.
Katniss nods.
"Do what you think will give you the best odds, it may not be practical but it would give you protection...I mean like what Haymitch says, it's what the audience wants. You don't really have a choice"
Katniss is silent, she has no words, she has to come up with something before her interview and it's killing her. She'd always swore she'd want nothing to do with the careers if she was to go into the games. Now she didn't even have a choice. She knew that if Ceasar Flickerman asked a question relating the audience and their 'rumours' he was hinting they wanted It to happen and happen now...she'd seen it in every previous game.
She sighs in defeat and leans up against the wall. The games haven't even started yet and already she feels emotionally exhausted. She couldn't stand this constant feeling of anxiety in the pit of her stomach along with the familiar feeling of anger every time she thought of being in the games.
Time seemed to stretch by enormously after that, Katniss was bored and in anticipation for her interview. She just wanted to get it over and done with, all this was exhausting. Soon peeta was up though and the tributes had gone off to probably watch the rest on their floor to themselves, though district eight and five stayed backstage with their mentors.
Peeta walks onto the stage, his smile was dazzling and Katniss couldn't help but smile for him as the audience roars in adoration for the boy with the bread.
"WELCOME TO THE STAGE, DISTRICT TWELEVE, PEETA MELLARK!" Caesar shouts to the audience who cheers, ever since the impressive gig with the chariots and Katniss' score, the capital had been going crazy for district twelve.
"So Peeta how are you finding the capital so far?" Caesar says smiling his perfectly dazzled teeth at Peeta who smiles shyly but still radiates charisma.
"Well the showers you have here are certainly different!" Peeta says laughing, Katniss smiles, the audience loves him.
"WOW! Folks it looks like we have different showers!" Caesar says laughing with the audience who find it very funny the fact their showers are better, Katniss rolls her eyes at this, it's stupid, their so self conceited.
Katniss watches as Peeta and Caesar joke about how they smell and how different the showers here are until Ceasar brings up a more serious subject.
"So Peeta, is their anyone special in your life right now? A handsome young man like you is sure to have a lady back home, am I right?" Caesar says with light humour.
Peetas face fades slightly and Katniss feels a sense of disappointment within him, it's the first time he's looked like he's actually nervous so far and Katniss can't help but be annoyed at the capital for wanting to know his private life like they had a right to.
But Peeta just shakes his head after a minute of silence and says "No unfortunately not"
"Well well well, looks like we've got a free man over here ladies!" Ceasar says to the audience who squeals.
Katniss feels as if she's going to throw up. It wasn't long after that Peetas interview ends and he walks of stage with a smile that she didn't quite expect, it was sad. But Peeta had no reason to be sad because his interview went great.
Katniss didn't have time to question though as she heard her name be announced. This was it. She took a large gulp of air and cautiously made her way on stage.
Everything seemed a blur, the lights reflected too much in her eyes, the dress made her boiling hot and the audience made her head hurt from all the colour and noise.
Katniss clumsily made her way over to the seats, struggling to walk normally in the large heels Effie had forced her to wear saying they'd made her look more feminine and slender. That's something she didn't understand over here, everyone wanted to look like they were starving...all they need to do is spend a week in district twelve.
Katniss breaths in deep and her gut drops heavily when she realises she's been dazed all this time and realises Caesars been calling her name.
Her cheeks sting with red embarrassment as she asks dumbfounded "What?"
Caesar laughs and says "looks like someone's a bit distracted, I said to you Katniss, that was quite an entrance you made at the parade, tell me what were you thinking when you were up there?"
Katniss feelt like she was going to be sick but stuffed down the feeling and smiled awkwardly before saying quietly "well i was just hoping I wouldn't burn alive"
Caesar laughed loudly with the audience and sits back in his chair putting his hands together whilst replying with "Well I must say i think its better to leave that to the arena!" Caesar cackles at his joke along with the audience and Katniss forces a smile for the blurs of colour who shuffle in their seats in hysterics.
It was all so over the top.
Caesar then turned slightly more seriously though and says calmly "Katniss tell me, what on earth did you do to receive an eleven? I mean what an outstanding performance, we've all been dying to know!" Caesar says and the audience roars in agreement, Katniss sees the flurries of colour as they shift in their seats, she can tell some are eager to know.
She doesn't know how to respond to the question though, her eyes catch the gamemakers in the audience and she knows they won't be happy if she says how she really got her eleven.
So she slowly turns back to Caesars expectant face with an unsure smile and says still dazed "W-well i think that's just as big a secret as how i didnt burn alive in the parade " Katniss says smiling, she was getting better she could feel it but the tension inside of her was still as stiff as chalk.
"Ahhh, keeping it till the games I see, It was certainly something! A lot of our audience would be over joyed to see the girl on fire again" Caesar says with enthusiasm.
Katniss searches the audience relentlessly through the clusters of colour and big hairstyles before coming across plain and almost normal looking Cinna who gave a calm nod of approval.
That was all Katniss needed to say "I've got them on tonight, would you like to see?" Katniss says smiling brightly as she could, she spots Cinna again in the audience and he smiles, he'd spoke to her about this when he was dressing her, but Katniss still felt the need to look for his encouragement.
"Oh certainly!" Caesar says excitedly.
Katniss gets up as fast as she could, she needs to get this over with, she takes a quick spin around and repeats it three times, the flames bursting out and flickering in lights of red and yellow, her crimson dress coming to life and sparking up into a frenzy of chaotic blue flames the faster she spins.
When she stops after feeling rather dizzy, Katniss realises the audience is crazy, all screaming in amazement at her dress.
"Wow, how wonderful! What a piece of art indeed!" Caesar says loudly more to the audience than Katniss.
Katniss smiles again her teeth grinding together to keep herself from losing it.
"So Katniss, we hear that you have formed an alliance with district one and two, is that true?" Caesar asks curiously leaning forward, his electric blue hair glistening under the spotlights.
Katniss takes a deep breath. *Remember Haymitch's advice* she tells herself in her head.
"Yes...I have" Katniss states curtly pulling the most fake smile ever. Of course the capital don't suspect a thing though.
"And why was that?" Ceasar asks curiously rubbing his chin slightly and tipping back his head.
Katniss smiles slightly and says statingly rather than answering the question "Its never happened before"
Caesar smiles and asks "well, certainly, my aren't you a record breaker this year? Do you feel your sister and family are just as positive about this as you are?"
Katniss smiles again, god this was killing her more than the games probably will, she hated this, how they involved her sister, she's so glad she took her place, she wouldn't last five minutes if she's brutally honest
"I'd like to think so, yes" katniss responds quietly.
"Yes what a noble thing to do indeed for your sister, what did you say to her before you came here Katniss?" Caesar asks looking genuinely intrigued, he leaned forward and grabbed her hand sympatheticly, something told Katniss he wasn't like the rest of the Capital, he had a head on his shoulders and knew exactly how wrong all this was...to a point. She still hated him for not stopping It though, he was basically condemning it!
"I told her that I'd win, for her" Katniss said sadly looking at the audiences reaction hesitantly.
The audience awed in sympathy and Caesar said apologetically "and try to win you shall my dear" before kissing her hand, standing up and saying "GIVE IT UP FOR KATNISS EVERDEEN, THE GIRL ON FIRE!" The audience roared, cried and smiled as she left the stage and Katniss couldn't be more than relieved it was simply over, she wouldn't have even cared if she did bad as long as the sickening feeling didn't plague her stomach anymore.
Katniss hurried off the stage as Caesar made the final few words before the lights dimmed and it all shut down. Finally.
Katniss breathed a sigh of relief and saw that everyone was watching her.
Haymitch took a swig of his brown liquor and said with a smirk "not bad sweetheart"
Effie nodded enthusiastically and walked over to her and held her arm whilst gushing "oh yes you were stunning out there Katniss, now we have a big big day ahead of us tomorrow! You have one day left of training and then it's show time!"
Katniss looked at Peeta desperately, god she wishes she could just talk to him for a second without Effie flaunting all over her. Peeta simply smiled meekly and gave a nod of understanding before laughing slightly as katniss glared at Effie her eyes wide.
They made there way to the twelfth floor and as soon as the doors opened to let them in Katniss was off like a shot to her room. She ripped the red dress off of her almost anorexic body and decided to take the longest shower in history.
If only she could just go back to district twelve and forget all this.
She turns on the fancy taps and sighs in pleasure as the hot water envelopes her body and the soapy liquids give off the smell of roses. She can see why the capital is so clean.
Katniss came in the shower to relax and forget, but all her mind seems to do is wonder. She starts to think of Gale...he'd hate all this, he's probably going around district twelve right now in a hump, god, what would he think of the alliance? Katniss feels her stomach drop, Gale would probably be so ashamed of her. He despises those from district one, two and four and claims they're cocky, they think they're part of the capital when the fact is there no different from us. But of course Gale is simply opinionated as it is, he's like a dog with a ball and sometimes he doesn't realise how stern minded he can be every once in a while.
Hopefully they all understand, hopefully if she goes back home, Peetas family will still respect her (as much as merchants can respect the seam), she hopes that her mother even though her stubborn like form shows no emotion she will still be able to call her her daughter, she hopes Prim will still look at her with those blue hopeful eyes, she hopes greasy sae will still trade game and she hopes Gale will still remember her as his bestfriend.
It all hurts, it all hurts so much it's unreal, katniss hates this, she hates the capital and everyone who supports the games. It's so unfair. Katniss feels herself breaking, she feels her knees shaking and her eyes holding in the tears even though there's no one here and you wouldn't see through the shower she insists she will not cry. Katniss would not damage her own pride or dignity by showing the Capital her weak point, she will not waste what time she had left on crying over them. No, she's stronger than that.
A knock on the door disturbs her though.
"Yeah?" She shouts through the door, the shower still blasting.
There's no reply and she figures whoever it is can't hear her. Katniss turns of the shower and says loudly "hello? What is it?"
She hears Effies voice through the door, oh no, she better not take one step in here or else "Theres someone here to see you Katniss"
Someone here to see her?
Katniss feels her skin prick in goosebumps and looks towards the door whilst grabbing a towel to dry herself, someone here to see her? Like who?
So she asks slightly bewildered "Like who?"
"District two" Effie says chirpily
"No" Katniss says sternly her voice echoing in the small room. She was not going to associate with two, even if it meant going along with it all, she'd rather just act like they went there separate ways, I mean who can determine what happens in the games anyways?
"Katniss you have to, it is very inconsiderate of a lady to turn down guests like this" Effie says sweetly, her shrill voice making katniss' eyes roll into the back of her head.
Katniss grunts in response.
"Katniss, you either leave this bathroom and come out here or you wont last a day in the arena" says Haymitch who's now obviously came to help Effie pry her out.
Katniss sighs in agitation, she so badly wants to resist but knows she needs to face them sooner or later, so drying off the last of her she slips on a dressing gown and puts her wet hair in a towel.
She hesitantly opens the door and makes her way into her room and out into the living area, katniss sat in a robe and towel, she didn't care what people thought what she looked like.
His steel eyes glared into hers as she made her way over and she gulped as she found herself locked in his unnerving stare.
Katniss saw them all, huddled together almost, Effie, Haymitch, Brutus and Cato.
They were all there, except Peeta.
Katniss stood as she took in the awkward silence before taking the empty seat next to Haymitch on the couch.
"Cato's mentor and I were just talking about your alliance with the careers" Haymitch says before taking a swig of vodka, she doubted the clear liquid was water as he placed it on the blue glass encrusted table.
Katniss nods not having a moments worth of words as she saw Effie smile expectantly before Haymitch continutes "we've proposed that you join the Careers until the final five, you share your sponsors and they'll protect you in return, all you have to do is agree Katniss"
Brutus nods in agreement and looks coldly at Katniss, she can sense he isnt too over joyed over this and scans her over observingly...like shes prey.
Katniss feels her confusion and hurt bubble up inside of her, is Haymitch really agreeing to all this? She really doesn't have a choice but does he not have the decency to at least try and help her?
Katniss huffed agitatedly "Why would I agree? I got an eleven in the private sessions what makes you think i need protecting?"
Her glare turns to Cato's her fiery exterior and piercing gaze melting into his icy ones. Challenging him. She needed to show them she wasn't just from district 12 she represented district 12 and they werent just cowards. Their eyes conflicted with each look they shared of hot and cold as her eyes danced over all three of them.
Brutus laughs and smiles slightly before replying in a low voice "That eleven was to make you a target! I bet your easy kill"
Katniss raised an eyebrow at his ego "and if I'm not?" She challenged.
Brutus seemed to ponder on this thought for a second and said bitterly "Step of the pedastall, you dont have a choice, if you think we wanted you in the alliance, think again"
"Hes right" Haymitch says sadly, taking a sip of whatever's in the glass now "The audience wants you to team up with the careers, none of us had a choice"
Katniss looks at each of them confused until it finally sinks in...like a sparks been triggered in her brain. Seneca Crain must have issued this, he must have spoke to Haymitch and Brutus before the interviews...which meant Haymitch knew all this time and didnt think to tell her?
Katniss slowly bubbled with anger her eyes darting to Haymitch who breathed in deep, he expected this "You knew all this time but didnt tell me?"
Haymitch sighs "Look sweetheart, it's nothing personal but I didnt have a choice, Crane said it was for the audiences best interests, so if you want to complain feel free to, but don't blame me if you dont last a day"
Katniss plays on Haymitches words, why would Seneca want her with the careers? What interest was it of his that made him so inclined to make her associate with the upper districts?
Brutus nods and looks at Katniss snapping her attention and says "All you have to do is stay with us till the final 5 and then you can leave, it will increase your odds"
Katniss absorbs this information, she wanted to win, she had to for Prim...but she knew she had to repay a debt she had since the age of twelve, one from a boy who was too loving for such games.
So with a deep breath Katniss said "How about instead of me, you have to promise to keep peeta alive until the final five? I stay with the Careers but you cannot, on any terms, touch Peeta. In return, you dont have to protect me if harm comes my way"
Everyone in the room seemed taken aback at this and looked at each other ludicrously before Brutus waved his hand dismissively and said "yeah yeah sure, not a problem, just make sure you don't mess this up okay tweleve girl?"
Katniss narrowed her eyes at his beady black ones, she didn't appreciate the nickname from Brutus which received a scoff and a unappreciated laugh from Haymitch and Effie was too busy looking at her schedule to hear the offhanded comment.
Katniss turns to Cato who had not said a word throughout the whole thing but sat without expression and not a word encased him as she asked sharply with pursed lips "Do you agree?"
She doesnt know why she asked, but she felt she had to, Katniss beleived everyone should get a choice, no matter who they are, from President Snow to some of the poorest people in tweleve, everyone deserved a say.
For a minute katniss thought she saw shock on Cato's face before he readjusted his features and said bluntly in a dark groevelly voice "couldn't care less"
*Idiot* Katniss thought to herself blatantly.
Brutus got up stretching his limbs and saying to Cato sternly "get up boy" before declaring they had to leave.
Cato gave one last sharp eyed glare at Katniss his eyes burning into hers attempting to distinguish the fire that ravaged on. She was wild and feral. He was tamed but cold as ice.
Katniss watched as the door closed before she turned around sharply towards Haymitch.
"What the hell was that?" She asked, her eyes burning and her voice stern.
Haymitch did nothing but give a nonchalant shrug and carry on taking ice out the ice machine though.
Katniss glared at him as he carefully decorated his vodka glass with small cubes of frozen water.
"You can't just blank me for forever you know" Katniss says.
Haymitch turns to her his eyes rolled back into his head slightly and his mouth open a fraction in a crooked smirk. He walks closer to her and Effie who was still looking at her notes.
"That's the thing sweetheart, I can, I mean forever isn't really an option in your books now is it?" He says leaning over the couch and staring at her wide eyed.
Katniss' blood boiled and she glared furiously her hands tensed and her body stiff with annoyance as the victor smiles in her silence.
"Why do you hate me?" Katniss asks bluntly abrupt inch the silence after a moments worth of thought, but Katniss never really thought over her words before she said them, mainly because she didn't speak a lot so she made sure that if she did, she'd mean it.
Haymitch looks at her surprised for a second before his features turn drastically and Katniss sees a flash of empathy in his eyes and maybe even regret but Haymitch just grumbles "Hates not the word" and walks out of the room.
Katniss stares onwards from where he left and Effie looks up to see her confused face for Katniss to hear her say "He doesn't mean it"
Katniss' trance is broken and she turns to face Effie who smiles at her and says " Hes just trying to make sure everything goes to plan, your some of the best tributes tweleve has seen in a long time, he's just afraid of hope"
Katniss feels something inside her turn at Effies words, and she cant help but feel shocked, Effie said something meaningful, something worth while and even now as she stands up and grabs her things so delicately Katniss can't help but go over Effies words. Shes right or she'd at least like to think shes right.
Katniss sighs and decided she's tired, she figures Peeta must have gone to bed a long time ago when they first got here so she decides not to disturb him. She makes her way to her room, the exquisite capital furniture was something she was not yet aquainted to and she quite missed the simplicity of her home in district twelve. Even through all the poverty, it was still home, the place where her farther sang and taught her the ways of the world.
Katniss sank into the plush bedsheets and felt her limbs relax, unfortunately her brain couldn't though and she spent the night recalling every memory of her childhood. Meeting Gale in the woods, her farther taking her to school on that first day, her mother's old cooking and her smile when Mr Everdeen got home from work...it was nothing but the past now. Precious time she couldn't get back.
After about half an hour Katniss felt herself drift into sleep and luckily it wasn't infested with the graphic images of her death, over and over again.
Katniss woke up to the artificial window projecting 'natural' light, she sighed as she felt the warmth beneath the sheets, but she knew she'd have to get up...it was her last day of training. Katniss managed to get up and throw on some clothes, she made her way into the dining area and saw that everyone was already awake.
"Morning" she said quietly, sitting down and helping herself to some cheese buns she tried and loved when she first came to the capital.
Haymitch mumbled a morning back and Effie made a speech whilst surprisingly Peeta said nothing, Katniss ignored Effies persistent chatter and looked at Peeta from over the table who completely ignored her presence. Katniss' gut turned, what had she done? She bit her lip as her eyes scanned his face for signs as to why but she couldn't think so she put it down to the fact it was the day before the games. Katniss tore of each piece of bread and stuffed it into her mouth, she was going to stuff herself today, she was going to starve for a week or two so she needs to get prepared.
After their silent breakfast they made their way down to the training centre, there was a different feel in the air that day though, fear, hatred, the feeling of complete desperacy for something to save them all. Except maybe the careers, they seemed content with what they were about to go into. Katniss stared at each of the tributes as they had their last talk through on how to survive with the trainer called Atlas, until they were allowed to go their own ways.
Katniss had not yet revealed her talent of shooting yet and she noticed how the careers stared at her menacingly from a distance as they spoke. She couldnt hear what they said but from the disgust on Catos tribute partners face and the green stare the blonde gave her she knew Cato had told them she was going to be apart of them. She wasnt welcome, she knew that, but they didn't have a choice, once Cato had spoken that was it he wouldn't need to tell them the deeper reason as to why they didnt have a choice.
Katniss caught Catos stare for a recond, his jaw was set and sharp and his electric blue eyes scanned her over like Brutus did and he looked at her not like prey but as if she was a disappointment. All he saw was a weak, skinny and near to death sixteen year old girl who had no odds, no chance, nothing but the impression her stylist had made with her outfits. She was a waste of life really, a waste of a missed opportunity, luckily he was from a wealthy district, one that realised the skills one could harbour if they actually put in some effort..
Katniss was busy on the snare station, she was used to this, binding the rope till it was tight, setting the trigger. It was easy. Katniss was engrossed in creating the snare that she never noticed the presence next to her, she turned around, it was Catos district partner.
"You know if your going to be one of us your going to have to learn a bit more than that" the brown haired girl said her face was set like stone; all serious.
"I know how to make fire" Katniss said just as emotionless, she wasnt going to loose a battle against a girl who looked no older than fifteen.
The girl with the knives laughed at her patronizingly and Katniss' eyes narrowed at her ignornance, they thought she was a disappointment, if anything, they are for doubting her. The minute people get cocky in the games is the minute they loose. She remembers a boy from six who made out he was a complete fool, weak, feeble and he had everyone target him first, for him then to unleash the fact he was brilliant with a hammer. They doubted him and he proved them wrong, unfortunately for him he died in an avalanche the gamemakers made because they wanted a pretty boy from 1 to win instead.
"We all know you know how to make fire...firegirl. unfortunately for us you wont burn from it , well, unless it's fake?" The girl said smiling and looked Katniss up and downas she did, what is it with the careers and sizing people up?
Katniss glared at the girl without a word before she said darkly "your ignorant if you think im not a threat, i bet half of you dont even know how to forage for food"
The girl looked at her for a second, her smile gone before she said "Im Clove, your one of us now, or at least Cato says you are, though im pretty sure he will just kill you when he gets the chance to because i dont see what he wants in you...but you better not mess this up"
Clove turned away and katniss realised she had a knife in her hand the whole time, she twirled it for a second before pinning it into one of the dummies whilst she looked at Katniss. But she doesnt flinch; because Katniss wasn't afraid of a girl like Clove or any career.
Katniss' gaze was diverted to where Peeta is, she saw he was watching as she had her exchange with Clove, but he changed his direction so he wasn't looking at her as soon as she seeked him out. What is up with him? She walked over to the puzzle station where the district 5 girl is, solving some drastic puzzle and she noticed how he stiffened and became slow in his movements as she arrived.
"Hi" Katniss said as she watched Peeta carry on with the problem solver, it was a sequence, something to do with remembering, totally unlike Peeta, but each to their own.
Peeta didnt respond though.
Katniss breathed in a breath of air and held it for a second, she felt her anger and she knew Peeta doesn't desrve it so after she calmed down she questioned "what's wrong?"
Peeta finally looked at her and Katniss sees something she never expected from him, anger.
"Whats wrong? That's real rich coming from you katniss" Peeta said looking at her his jaw tensed and his soft blue eyes were now hard, she could see it killed him the fact he was so angry at her.
"What have i done?" Katniss asked genuinely confused, what had she done? Was he angry she'd joined the careers? Course not, he infulenced her to.
Peeta scoffed "you know i don't need protecting Katniss"
Katniss looked at him her expression scrunched up in genuine confusion, until it hit her like a ton of bricks "your angry that i want the careers to protect you instead of me arent you?"
Peeta sighed and his anger died down slightly "when you say it like that you make me look stupid"
"Well it is stupid" Katniss said bluntly.
"Yeah but its like you think im weak, like i cant defend myself, i dont need protection katniss, i know i frost cakes but it doesnt mean I'm useless" Peeta responded his eyes pratically begging her for understanding.
Katniss sighed "i didnt mean anything by it im doing it for your own safety"
Peeta nodded, silently, before he shut off the puzzle and said quietly "i know, it doesnt matter, just leave it"
Katniss smiled slightly and said "look, its not exactly a bad thing, I'll be fine with the careers, but i just can't kill you Peeta, i owe you that much"
Peeta looked confused and his eyes shone slightly at what she'd just said and he was just about to ask what she meant when the trained killer from two showed up. Cato.
"Twelve" he said to Katniss.
She turned around at hearing her name and saw the over towering blonde stare at her before he said monotone "we need to talk"
Katniss stared as hard as she could "about what?"
"Goddamit dont be so ignornat, it's about strategies for the bloodbath" Clove retorted whilst she rolled her eyes and grabed Katniss roughly, Katniss instinctively shoved her shoulder away from the girl and her eyes are enraptured with fire as she glared at the girl like shes a child whos done the worst imaginable thing.
"I can walk myself" katniss says in a low voice.
Katniss turned around to Peeta who smiled softly at her their argument now resloved "I'll see you later"
Peeta nodded in return.
Cato doesnt even look at Katniss as he speaks instead his eyes are trained on either the others or somewhere up above behind her as he introduces them as Marvel the guy from one and Glimmer the ditz who was also from one.
"-so once the cannon sounds you run staright for the weapons, but obviosuly you don't have a weapon so just grab all the supplies you can, stop any tributes from getting it whislt we take down anyone vunerable, got it twelve?" Cato says as he stared at Brutus who was talking with the gamemakers in the glassroom who nodded approvingly, Katniss realised this was obviosuly not his choice which is why he didnt glance at her once throughout the whole conformation.
Katniss sighed and decided to turn away, fortunately for her none of the careers stopped her and she spent the remainder of the day either with Peeta on stations or on her own. She was dying to get her hands on the bow but she knew that would have to wait until the arena, she had to beat the girl from one to get the bow, if there is one, her life literally depended on it. unfortunately through she couldnt just take down the careers then and there.
Eventually everyone is told to go back to their floors, its their last night and for some it will be the last time they sleep. Katniss couldnt deny she was nervous, but she wouldn't dare show it, thats what Gale probably would have done and she trusts people from home more than anyone here.
Katniss meets up with Peeta on their floor and they echange a few glances before Haymitch sits them both down to talk them through their strategies.
"Katniss i presume Cato has told you about your moves for tomorrow?" Haymitch asks who surprisingly seems a bit more sober, hopefully he lays low on the drink whilst hes watching the games, she needs a mentor thats consious enough to know she needs help when she does.
Katniss nods and he then turns to Peeta, Katniss blurs out most of the conversation until Effie trots over and tells them that their meals ready. They all go to the table and once again they eat in complete silence, no one has any words and no one wants to say anything they regret either.
Katniss finds herself going to the roof on top of the centre, it wasn't allowed, but she needed a break, a chance to put her mind at rest from the thoughts that plauged her mind, ready to haunt her for the rest of her life, if she even has one.
Katniss watches the lights and different colours of the capital, it was so colourful and as much as Katniss hated to say it, it was a beautiful city. Thousands of gleaming lights, buildings so tall you cant see the tops from down below. People always going somewhere, it was so vibrant and alive and all the people seemed happy. They had no idea how naive they were to everything.
"Hi" Peeta says distracting Katniss from the view.
She turns to him and smiles back "hi"
Peeta makes his way over and sits down opposite her.
"Are you scared?" He asks her as she continues to stare over the glass wall which stopped tributes from jumping off.
"Not scared, but nervous, yes" Katniss says smiling.
Theres moment of silence between them.
"What did you mean earlier when you said you owe me?" Peeta asks as a breeze passes and katniss shudders slightly as the temprature drops.
Shes shocked at the question, does he not remember?
"That time with the bread, you saved my life, it lasted me and Prim two weeks, the least i can do is return the favour" She replies.
Peeta doesnt smile but she can tell hes pleased "you remember that?"
"Of course" Katniss says smiling.
Peeta smiles back softly his blue eyes reflecting off the lights and his blonde hair falling in his face, they stare at eachother for what seems like hours.
"I hope you win" Peeta whispers his expression becoming more serious.
Katniss feels guilt settle at the bottom of her stomach, she was so selfish, she had came here looking to win and here Peeta was, completely accepting his odds. She felt in the wrong for wanting and proclaiming she had to win but people like Peeta simply came with no other ambition except the one that someone they respect will win.
Katniss' thoughts stop in confusion.
Why does Peeta want her to win so bad? Why? He doesnt see her as a friend, thats not possible they only started talking since they boarded the train...yeah he helped her out...he knew her but that's just it apart from the fact he owened a bakery and she could shoot they both knew nothing else about eachother.
"Why?" Katniss asks bewildered
Peetas silent and she sees him contemplate something before he replies suddenly "because i love you katniss"
What?
Peeta loved her? No, thats not possible. Tributes dont love eachother, he just thinks he loves her because he's desperate and alone. Its to be expected, yeah, Peeta simply feels sorry for himself.
"Thats not possible" katniss says in complete denial or even shock.
"No believe me it is, I knew it the day i saw you sing that valley song with your hair in two plaits instead of one..." Peeta says obviously in a daydream or memory of some sort.
Katniss shakes her head and stands up abruptly, she couldn't handle this, she couldn't hurt someone else she couldn't let Peeta down.
"No, your just saying this, you dont mean it, your just scared for tomorrow" Katniss says frustrated trying to convince herself more than peeta its not true.
Peeta laughs bitterly to himself at her disbelief and says back "if thats so Katniss, but you cant just determine my feelings for you, I love you katniss, ive wanted to say that for so long now"
Katniss' face flinches in annoyance and her stomach balls up and she shakes her head, those words, she cant stand those words! He was just using her, just attempting to fulfil whatever little he had left of his life.
"Stop saying it you dont mean it!" Katniss pratically screams now, this was killing her, it was too much, the games, her sister, the careers...her brain was on overload.
"Look Katniss i dont see why this is such a big problem for you!" Peeta shouts back.
Katniss stares Peeta down in complete shock "of course its a problem, all i seem to have at the minute is problems. Your just using me"
"Using you? Using you what for?" Peeta shouts back
Katniss couldn't stop the tears that trail down her cheeks, she'd held it in for too long now.
"Your just using me because you have no one else" Katniss says barely a whisper.
Peeta looks the other way in hurt his blue eyes the colour of tears before he says with pity in his voice "Your right about one thing, i do have no one else" and thats when he walks away without even a goodbye.
Leaving Katniss once again on her own.
She cries the rest of the night away until she decideds she needs to go to her room. She feels guilty for what she said to Peeta, but she couldn't get close to him, he should know that, she couldn't risk it, she cant stand the thought of anyone loving her except her family. Gale although not family was an exception she knew Gale almost her whole life...but peeta wasn't a family friend, he was her tribute partner.
Eventually, morning came and two peacekeepers came to collect her and Peeta from their floor and escort them to the hovercrafts, they inserted trackers and did a few health checks, not that they cared about them or if they were too ill they couldn't go in, but katniss guesses they did the checks as just a run up thing for their vitals.
They were soon in the loading rooms and there stood Cinna who greeted her with a hug that made her feel for a second that everything's going to be okay.
"I'm betting on you girl on fire" Cinna says into her ear.
Katniss doesn't need to say any words because what he does shocks her the most, he pulls out her pin the same pin Prim gave to her and he clips it onto her coat and says "Just remember, just because your with fhem, doesn't mean your like them, learn from them katniss"
Katniss goes to respond but a voice calls that theirs only 10 seconds remaining.
Katniss' eyes glance over to the tube and her heart tightens as her fate becomes that little bit more alive and she feels herself begin to shake in fear.
She hugs Cinna one last time, which might be her last chance of friendly human contact before she walks into the glass tube.
She looks at Cinnas brown dark eyes that are highlighted with that glint of gold, the only irregular thing on him that makes him so different to every other Capital citizen.
Katniss felt the tube lifting her and she watched helplessly as her only safe place lay deep down below and she knew that no matter what she had to try to survive.
This was the start of the seventy fourth Annual Hunger games.