Feb. 7, 2004
Author's Notes - Konnichi-wa, minna-san! It's Miss Chang Po and Nataku- chan again!
Nataku-chan - Do we ALWAYS have to go ABC order?
Miss Chang Po - ::waves her hand dismissively:: You'll be first next time, I promise! ::crosses fingers::
Nataku-chan - I saw that!
Miss Chang Po - Anyways. ^_^ Valentines Day is right around the corner -
Nataku-chan - Not that either of us have anything scheduled..
Miss Chang Po - And hopeless (Nataku-chan - You mean hapless) romantic saps like us are probably gonna be posting cheesy, waffy goodness out the ying- yang for a good part of this week, so we figured we get one out early.
Nataku-chan - This fic is definitely AU, we've seen only up to episode 106- 107, so we're not too sure if we've got all our information straight.
Miss Chang Po - Just to be clear, this fic takes place a little while after the incident in which both Kagome and Kikyo get trapped inside that youkai- thing (Miko-Fuuji, I believe it was called. correct me if I'm wrong) that's immune to miko powers and they have to work together to get out. Well, Kagome does most of the work, as Kikyo is without her dead souls, and in the end Kikyo asks why Kagome did not abandon her, she responds that she would be missed if something were to happen to her (not word for word). Anyways, as Kagome leaves, Kikyo responds in turn something along the same lines. We're not sure what episode it is, but its an interesting one. Kikyo's not being all evil and spiteful. Not that we hate her or anything, but the whole trying to kill your reincarnation thing just cuz she likes your ex is kinda annoying. ( No flaming! We've got sensitive skin! )
Nataku-chan - ::gives her a weird look:: Anyways. We're still working on our individual works, but Miss Chang Po got this idea and just HAD to get it out.
Miss Chang Po - It wasn't just my idea. but anyways, read and enjoy. And let us know what you think!
Kagome opened her eyes, dazed and disoriented. She raised a hand to rub the sleep from her eyes only to find that she could not raise her hand.
'What the.?' Slate gray eyes widened in surprise; the forest air surrounding her was filled with the glowing light of numerous souls. Looking around, the young girl from the future could also spot many soul collectors floating about. In fact, it was three Shinidamachu that held her bound.
'Beneath the Goshinboku.' Kagome looked up into its deep canopy before staring back into the darkness of the forest. 'But who.?'
"So, you're awake."
Kagome gasped in surprise as a female figure emerged from the shadows. She noticed a stumbling gait and the tired expression she bore, but they were soon forgotten by the fact that the figure was armed and she was not. The Shinidamachu gathered around the figure, bathing her in a luminous glow. "Kikyo.?"
The ancient priestess, of whom she was an incarnation, cast her a wan smile. "Do not pretend to be so surprised," she replied calmly, slowly closing the distance between them as the Soul Collectors followed loyally behind her. "Who else could have managed such a feat with the aid of these Soul Collectors?"
Kagome stared wryly at the snake-like creatures that stayed secure around her arms and waist. She did have a point - Kikyo was the only one she knew of that could control them. But why was she here? And where was-
"Inu Yasha is not far away," Kikyo commented lightly, silently reveling in the expression that crossed her successor's face. Her thoughts were just so transparent.
The young miko gulped hesitantly. So this was it - Kikyo was finally going to kill her. Why couldn't she have been awake when the undead miko decided to kidnap her? At least then she would have stood a fighting chance.
Kikyo took a final step towards her and stopped. With a slim, graceful hand she beckoned away the Shinidamachu holding Kagome captive. Free from her restraints, she jumped up bracing herself for any attacks the miko might decide to dish out.
Naturally, Kagome was surprised when another bow and quiver was dropped at her feet. She looked up at her predecessor questioningly. "Why?"
Kikyo's face remained void of emotion. "Now we are both armed."
Quick to act, Kagome grabbed the weapons, quickly drawing an arrow across the bow. "Start talking, Kikyo." She replied evenly, staring down her older Doppelganger. "Why am I here?"
The older miko smirked. "You've gotten stronger," she remarked, making action against Kagome. "I must say I am slightly impressed."
"Thanks," Kagome answered uncertainly. "I think." 'This is weird.. why is Kikyo here? And why is she complimenting me?'
"I used to think of you as a poor copy of myself," Kikyo went on. "A poor joke made against me by the Fates to spite me when I returned to the living world."
Kagome balked. 'This is the most I've ever heard Kikyo say to me,' she thought to herself. 'But does she HAVE to insult me when she does it?'
But her 'captor' was still speaking. "And as I tried to remove you from my existence, you proved to be like a weed; no matter how many times I tried to uproot or kill you, you constantly continue to spring up in my path-"
The grip Kagome had on her arrow threatened to split it in half. 'Is she trying to piss me off?!'
Something between a smirk and a smile passed across Kikyo's face. "But I find that like a weed, you are strong and persistent. and often possess a beauty that rivals many flowers. You have come a long way."
Kagome took a step back. 'Freaky.' This was just getting too weird for her liking. Had she stepped into the Twilight Zone or something? She found herself looking around anxiously. Just where was Inu Yasha anyway?
Kikyo's expression suddenly became cold. "Inu Yasha will not come. He cannot come." Kagome looked back at her in surprise. "He would have been here now were it not for the barrier that I set up around this area."
"Why?" Kagome sputtered, not releasing her hold on her bow and arrow. "Why did you do all of this? Why did you bring me here?"
"So that I could speak to you alone." Again Kagome blinked in surprise. "Ever since that incident with the Miko-Fuuji, I cannot help but think my view of you has changed."
"Okay."
"When I asked why it was you had chosen not to leave me behind," Kikyo was watching her very carefully. "You told me it was because I would have been missed if something were to happen to me."
Kagome swallowed, staring down at her feet. "Well, it's true."
"But it is not your truth."
"Huh?"
"Tell me, Kagome," Kikyo's expression was one of amusement now. "Do you hate me?" Kagome blinked. "And do be truthful; lies do not become us."
The younger of the two women stared at her counterpart with a solemn expression. "I don't, Kikyo." She replied. The slight look of surprise she registered did not go unnoticed. "I can't hate you, but I'm not sure whether I trust you."
"You are smarter than I gave you credit then." Her expression turned thoughtful. "I have another question for you - and again, lying will serve no purpose here."
Deciding that she really had no choice in the matter, Kagome nodded slowly, expecting the worst.
"Do you love Inu Yasha?"
Though she was surprised at the question, she answered without hesitation. She had struggled many weeks with this question, and when she had finally found an answer for herself, it had felt as though a great burden had been lifted from her shoulders.
"Yes."
Kagome, however, was not the only one who had not felt something at this revelation. Kikyo had known, long before Kagome, where her affections for the hanyou in question lay. After all, she still carried a piece of the girl's soul - though it had once been my own, she thought sourly - within her clay body. And yet, while the revelation had lifted Kagome's spirits some, it served only to sink Kikyo further into her own despair.
She was no longer alive. She could not appreciate the things mortals had once often taken for granted. She did not sleep; day and night she aimlessly walked the lands searching for what was endlessly beyond her reach. She could feel pain, but she could not cry. When she was hungry, she fed upon the souls of the dead. The only thirst she wished to quench was that of revenge. She could no longer love, only hate. Her soul was tired, but she was comforted in the fact that it would soon be put to rest.
She gazed at the young girl who stood before her. Once, the mere thought of her would fill Kikyo's being with such a bitter feeling of spite. How dare this slip of a girl try to replace her - to make people forget all of the sacrifices she had made for the sake of her people. But after seeing her, being near her without the interference of others, Kikyo soon learned her bitterness was misplaced. In the events that had lead to Kikyo's demise, and the way people viewed her currents actions - the undead miko had no one to blame but herself.
Where Kikyo had once sought to protect the people, she then placed them in harm's way in efforts to gain revenge. Where she was once kind and gentle, she had grown angry and cold, scorning all those who had wished to help her. And the one person she should have cared for more than anyone had fallen victim to her ire more than once even AFTER she learned he was not to blame for her demise.
She stared at the young girl before, who watched her warily. Not even she - whom she had found to be more forgiving than anyone - trusted her completely. And why should she? She was an evil, bitter woman who would kill an innocent girl to regain the affections of a man she had once sought to kill.
"Kagome, it appears you are the better of the two of us after all."
The girl in question blinked in surprise. "Kikyo..?"
"You needn't pretend to believe otherwise." Kikyo frowned. "Had I have been in your position, I would not have hesitated to leave you behind." Her expression turned bitter once again. "And yet every time I have found myself at your mercy, you choose to spare me. Why? Is it because of Inu Yasha?"
"No." Her voice was soft and gentle.
Kikyo's was harsh and angry. "Do not lie to me!"
Slate gray eyes closed as the younger girl shook her head. She stared back up at her quietly. "I'm not lying, Kikyo." She replied. "I know Inu Yasha would be sad if you were gone - but that's not why I helped you. I don't believe you should need a reason to help someone. If they're in trouble, then they're in trouble --," She shook her head as if to emphasize her point. "There's never any question of whether I should help a person or not. I just do because that's just the natural thing for me to do."
Kikyo stared at her in shocked silence. Recovering quickly, she schooled her face back into an expressionless mask. "I see." She looked away, closing her eyes as one of her Soul collectors caressed her face gently. "I suppose that's why Inu Yasha cares about you - why he protects you so wholeheartedly."
Kagome shook her head. "I don't know about that," she admitted sadly. "Besides, it doesn't matter when you're involved-" She paused, realizing how bad that sounded. "You and Inu Yasha--"
Kikyo stared up into the sky, a wistful expression passing over her face. "What Inu Yasha and I had was not love," she replied solemnly. "Perhaps it would have been had things turned out differently for us." She paused, turning an ear to the forest before continuing. She had to get this out before time ran out for her. "I respected Inu Yasha.. I suppose I even cared deeply for him. but I will not be so false as to say I loved him."
Kagome felt as though she had been dealt a physical blow. What was she saying? Did she mean to say that he was not worthy or Kikyo's affections, or that what she felt for him was false, too? Then was all the pain Inu Yasha had put himself through for nothing? How dare she presume.
The elder priestess turned towards her, amused at the expressions flitting across her face. If there was any one who better suited the hanyou than she it was certainly Kagome. Their outright stubbornness matched each other stride for stride.
The Shinidamachu were gathering closer about her now, whispering agitated nothings in her ears. She frowned slightly, a tight feeling welling up in her chest. Time was growing short; she had to do it now or else she'd lose the nerve.
"I have a request, Kagome," The young girl looked at her as if she'd grown a third eye. "I wish for you to do something for me."
Kagome held her position, eying the other woman warily. "What is it?" she asked hesitantly.
"Look after Inu Yasha."
"What?"
Kikyo scowled. "Do not make me repeat myself, girl," Kagome blinked at the sudden harshness in her voice. A lost expression passed over her face as realization dawned on Kagome. "Saying it once was hard enough."
"Kikyo." she began slowly. "What do you plan to do?"
The other woman let out a wry chuckle. "It does not concern you at all."
'It does if you plan to hurt Inu Yasha..' "You don't plan to go after Naraku, do you?"
Kikyo scowled at her before turning away. "Don't be foolish," she exclaimed. "In my current state, I would not stand a chance against him."
Kagome played those last few words back in her head. ''In my current state'.?' She looked up to see Kikyo slowly walking away from her. "Kikyo, wait!" She closed the distance between the two of them, walking along side her. "Maybe I can help..?"
Brown eyes narrowed distastefully. "You will be helping me by accepting my request." She replied in a low tone.
Kagome found herself blushing lightly. "I think Inu Yasha is more than capable of taking care of himself." She replied.
"Don't be naïve," Kikyo replied, stopping. "That is not what I meant."
Kagome stopped, her face going completely red. Surely Kikyo wasn't giving her permission to be with Inu Yasha, was she? And if she was, just in what way did she mean exactly? Turning to face her, she reached out to touch her hesitantly. "Kikyo..?"
The elder miko let out a gasp of pain, dropping to the ground. The Shinidamachu hovered overhead, zipping around frantically.
"Kikyo!" Kagome dropped to her side instantly, visually checking for any injuries. She didn't look wounded; what was wrong with her?
Kikyo brushed her hands aside, forcing herself to her knees. "Don't touch me.." she breathed out.
"Kikyo, please - let me help you!"
"Accept.. my.. request.."
"But Inu Yasha.."
Kikyo stared up at her, eyes filled with pain and another emotion Kagome could not identify. "Inu Yasha. has nothing to do with my request.." She gasped out.
"But you.."
Slowly and hesitantly, Kikyo raised a hand to her haori without a word, pulling it back to expose her chest.
Staring, Kagome could only gasp in horror. Where there should have been pale skin, in its place was black, crumbling clay. In place of Kikyo's heart was a black, gaping hole. "Kikyo."
"As you can see," Kikyo breathed. "I am not well. I would say I was dying if I had not already died." She chuckled, only to seize at her haori as a fit of pain seized her.
"Kikyo!" Kagome cried out worried, holding the shaking woman in her arms. Her heart clenched in worry and fear. What was happening to her?
"I can no longer hold onto the hate," Kikyo replied. "It had consumed my entire being, transforming me into something I - in my previous life - would have come to despise. I have chosen to let go of the hate, rather than turn into one of the very monsters I strove to destroy." She paused, staring down at the grass beneath them. "How ironic that without that hate, I too will be destroyed."
"I won't let that happen!" Kagome exclaimed, clutching her arms desperately. "I'll protect you!"
Kikyo eyed her skeptically. "How can you when you must be the one to destroy me?"
Had she not been already ill, Kagome would have dropped her like she carried the plague. She stared down at the woman in her arms in horror. "What are you saying?!"
"This is my request to you, Kagome," Kikyo replied slowly. "I realize that my time here has ended. The fact that I am merely feeding off of the life that belongs to you sickens me." She stared up at the slate gray eyes of the girl that was so like her and yet so unlike her. "I beseech you - take back what rightfully belongs to you."
"I - I can't do that!" Kagome shook her head, her body quaking in disbelief.
"You can't.. or you won't?" Brown eyes narrowed a fraction more. "I was under the impression Inu Yasha would not sway your decisions regarding me."
"Kikyo - I want to help you, don't deny that!" Kagome exclaimed fiercely. "But you cannot ask me to take your life! I can't do that! I won't do that!"
Kikyo closed her eyes. "I see." Scrounging up the strength the stand, she freed herself from Kagome's embrace, forcing herself to her feet. "Then I have no choice."
Kagome quickly rose after her, bracing herself. "What?"
Shinidamachu hovering about her, supporting her, Kikyo let out a low chuckle. "I was a fool to expect amnesty from you." she murmured. "After all, when have I ever shown you mercy?"
"Kikyo, it's not like that!" Kagome exclaimed. "How can you ask me that. what makes you think I would want you to die?"
"I am already dead!" Kikyo cried out. "I have accepted that and yet I am still unable to find rest!" She paused, calming herself. "I ask you to grant me that, and you deny me. So now I must take it by force." She raised her hands, a bow and arrow appearing in her hand.
"Kikyo?!" Kagome had no time to react before an arrow whizzed by her face, grazing her cheek. She looked up in horror at Kikyo, who stood swaying on her feet, drawing another arrow to her bow. "What are you doing?"
"You have left me no other course of action, Kagome." Kikyo answered evenly. "Since I was reborn at the hands of Urasue, I have believed that only one of us could exist in this time." She let loose another arrow, slicing past Kagome's arm. "Know now that, I still believe this." The young girl cried out, clutching at the fresh wound in alarm. "It is up to you to decide which one of us it will be."
Blood flowing freely from her cheek and her shoulder, Kagome fumbled weakly for the bow and arrow that lay at her feet - never once taking her eyes off of the miko several yards away. "Kikyo."
Kikyo cut her off, her voice harsh and unyielding. "Draw your weapon, Kagome," she replied.
"I can't."
"You won't."
"I don't want you to die."
"Then you don't want me to be free."
"Inu Yasha loves you.."
'Foolish girl..' Kikyo's cold mask faltered slightly. "I do not love Inu Yasha." She replied. "I am not the same one I was 50 years ago, and you are a fool to think he is the same man he was 50 years ago."
"I do know that." Kagome began.
Kikyo interrupted her again. "Then you should also know that the Inu Yasha of 50 years ago could function fine without anyone else," The cold expression on her face melted slightly. "But without you, the Inu Yasha of now would surely be lost."
Touched by her words, Kagome felt the arrow and bow clutched tightly in her fingers slowly slipping from her grasp.
Kikyo's expression hardened again. "I told you to draw your weapon!" she yelled. "I will make it simple for you." Spiritual energy poured into her arrow. "This is my last arrow; contained within it is all my spiritual power. After I fire it, I will surely die. If you do not fire, you WILL die."
Kagome froze, unable to move.
Pulling back on the bow, Kikyo prepared to fire. "Let me make it clear to you, the only reason Inu Yasha is still alive now is because of you." Kikyo found her vision blurring, but she shook it away. "You believe in him, you give him something to fight for. So make no mistake, if you die, he dies."
Shaking fingers tightened around the wooden bow. Kagome felt her whole body shaking. Why. why was Kikyo doing this? Was she really going to make her choose?
A graceful smile - the first sincere one she had ever seen her make passed across Kikyo's face. She knew as well as Kagome that the choice had already been made. "Goodbye, Kagome," she replied softly.
"Kikyo - don't!"
"We will not meet again."
"KIKYO!"
The arrow was released, screaming through the air as mass amounts of spiritual energy. As it hit its intended mark, the sky light up in an explosion of bright light. Before long, everything fell silent once again.
~~
Inu Yasha did not stop to question why the barrier had vanished before he could cleave through it with his Tetsusaiga. As it faded away into nothing, the only thing on his mind was getting to the Goshinboku so that he could figure out what the hell was going on.
On one of the few nights he had actually decided to sleep, Kagome's scent had decided to up and disappear on him. He hadn't worried too much about it at first - she wasn't a stranger to having to answer the call of nature in the middle of the night. However, when her scent did not re-emerge, he woke up. She wasn't in her sleeping bag - hell she wasn't even in the camp and judging by the way her scent had just vanished, she hadn't left of her own will.
Yes, he would definitely find out what was going on. He'd find out who was responsible, and he'd kick their ass.
Off course, that's what he had thought at first, until he spotted the Shinidamachu hovering over the canopy of the forest. His anger had then quickly turned to dread. Where there were Soul collectors, there were dead souls, and were there were dead souls, there was Kikyo. And while he was obligated to the girl and cared about her well being, his mind could only register one thing - what the hell was she trying to do to Kagome this time?
It just wasn't fair! Kagome had never bore Kikyo any ill will, and yet she insisted on doing everything in her power to cause the girl harm! And for what; just because the girl happened to care about his well being despite how he treated her? No, things had gone on long enough - Inu Yasha hadn't wanted to hurt Kikyo anymore than he already had, but he had to tell her once and for all: he l-he cared about Kagome.
~~
As Inu Yasha entered the forest cleaning, he was shocked into stillness. The Shinidamachu were gone, as were the wandering spirits. The air was quiet and still. The only living thing in the area was Kagome.
She was crying. And she was holding a pile of dirt and soil.
Inu Yasha approached her slowly. The scent of her tears filled his nose first, but it was the scent of the dirt and soil that sent him reeling. "Ka - Kagome."
The young girl froze, turning to face him. "Inu Yasha." She froze, looking from him to the soil in her hands. She stood up, backing away from. "Oh God. Inu Yasha."
He took in the sight of the blood on her cheek and arm, but the soil was all that he could smell.
"I'm sorry." Tears were running more freely now. "I'm so sorry."
From the dirt and soil remaining on the ground, Inu Yasha could see scraps of red and white cloth. He gazed up at her slowly, understanding filling his eyes. "So, she's gone."
Kagome froze before dropping to her knees. The dirt and soil slipped through her fingers as she bowed forward, her head touching the ground. "I'm so sorry.. I'm so sorry." She clenched her hands shut tightly. "She asked me and I said no. I swear to God I did! I'm so sorry!"
Inu Yasha blinked, her tears overcoming the scent of the dirt. "Kagome."
"I didn't mean to, Inu Yasha! I swear to you, I didn't!" She pounded her fists in the dirt, clutching at the grass between her fingers. "She made me choose! She made me choose!"
If she kept this up she was going to snap, his conscience told himself. "Kagome!" He closed the distance between them, pulling her up by the shoulders. When she cried out in pain, he clutched her to him. "Kagome.. Calm down."
Kagome was still crying, apologizing over and over. "I killed her, Inu Yasha. she made me do it, but I killed her. Please, please, forgive me!" She clutched at his haori desperately. "Please."
"No." Kagome froze once again. But before she could pull away, Inu Yasha did first, looking her squarely in the eye. "Stop apologizing, Kagome. It's not your fault."
"But.."
Amber eyes looked down at her sadly. "Kikyo died a long time ago." He replied. "I knew that, even when I saw the look-alike created by Urasue."
"But she may as well have been Kikyo!" Kagome exclaimed. "She had a soul!"
"She had a part of your soul," Inu Yasha exclaimed, surprising himself at his own calmness. "Along with the souls of other dead girls." When had he come to grips with all of this, he wondered? With a start he realized that it was when he believed Kikyo might have seriously harmed Kagome. At that point, he had subconsciously realized Kagome was the person he cared for most.
'But Kagome has been hurt..' He replied, taking in her injuries, and the way she still clutched the dead miko's remains in her white-knuckled grasp.
"Did Kikyo do this.." Inu Yasha swallowed slowly, holding the shaking girl in his embrace more for his comfort than her own. "Just to hurt you?"
Kagome blinked, snapping out of her trance. "No!" she exclaimed, looking up at frantically. "No! She was the one hurting!" She looked away at the shocked look on his face. "Her body could no longer hold onto the hate that had kept her going for so long - she was breaking down and it was causing her pain."
Realization dawned on him. "So she asked you to put her out of her misery?" Kagome nodded. "Then you did what I couldn't do." He laid his head on top of hers. "Thank you."
"You're not angry?"
"Don't be stupid." The comment held none of his usual harshness. "You allowed her to be at peace. I think that's what she really wanted all along." He closed his eyes. "I was too weak and selfish to grant her that."
"That's not true, Inu Yasha," Kagome replied gently. "What you did was natural.." She paused. "You loved her after all.."
"No, I didn't."
Kagome frowned. "What?"
Sighing heavily, Inu Yasha looked up at the sky. "Kikyo was the only person who understood me - who knew what it was like to be an outsider." Inu Yasha explained. "I respected Kikyo and I cared for her - but I didn't love her. I see that now." He looked down at the wide-eyed girl in his arms. "Do you know why?"
Kagome could only shake her head dumbly.
"It's cuz I couldn't trust her." He chuckled wryly. "And I'm sure she didn't trust me either. I mean, look at what happened to us with Naraku."
"Inu Yasha."
"Kagome," He brushed a tear from running down into the cut on her cheek. She winced a little, but ended up blushing at the gesture. "I don't want you to feel guilty about what happened, hear me?" He cut her off before she could interrupt. "For what you've done, I know Kikyo will always be grateful - and so will I." He smirked lightly. "Cuz of you, I'm no longer tied to my obligation to Kikyo. I can l--" He paused, coughing lightly. "I can protect you the way I want to now."
For a moment, Kagome remained still, staring up at him. After a few moments of silence, she sighed, leaning against him.
Inu Yasha blinked. "Kagome.?" He stared down at her. The poor girl had passed out. He sighed heavily. "Let's head back. "Collecting her in his arms, he stood up slowly so not to jar her injuries.
"..Nu.Yasha..?" The white haired hanyou stared down at his cargo in curiosity. She was unconscious, wasn't she? "..Love you.."
'I know..' He thought to himself with a smile. 'And I'll tell you how I feel about you once you wake up.' Placing a gently, but clumsy kiss upon her forehead he turned to head back towards the village, pausing once to look back at the pile of soil that was blowing away in the wind. "Kikyo. this is goodbye." A sad smile passed over his face. "I know I can rest now knowing you're in peace now."
As he disappeared back into the forest, a wraith-like figure appeared, smiling gently into the night air.
"So can I, Inu Yasha.. So can I.."
Owari
Author's Notes - Konnichi-wa, minna-san! It's Miss Chang Po and Nataku- chan again!
Nataku-chan - Do we ALWAYS have to go ABC order?
Miss Chang Po - ::waves her hand dismissively:: You'll be first next time, I promise! ::crosses fingers::
Nataku-chan - I saw that!
Miss Chang Po - Anyways. ^_^ Valentines Day is right around the corner -
Nataku-chan - Not that either of us have anything scheduled..
Miss Chang Po - And hopeless (Nataku-chan - You mean hapless) romantic saps like us are probably gonna be posting cheesy, waffy goodness out the ying- yang for a good part of this week, so we figured we get one out early.
Nataku-chan - This fic is definitely AU, we've seen only up to episode 106- 107, so we're not too sure if we've got all our information straight.
Miss Chang Po - Just to be clear, this fic takes place a little while after the incident in which both Kagome and Kikyo get trapped inside that youkai- thing (Miko-Fuuji, I believe it was called. correct me if I'm wrong) that's immune to miko powers and they have to work together to get out. Well, Kagome does most of the work, as Kikyo is without her dead souls, and in the end Kikyo asks why Kagome did not abandon her, she responds that she would be missed if something were to happen to her (not word for word). Anyways, as Kagome leaves, Kikyo responds in turn something along the same lines. We're not sure what episode it is, but its an interesting one. Kikyo's not being all evil and spiteful. Not that we hate her or anything, but the whole trying to kill your reincarnation thing just cuz she likes your ex is kinda annoying. ( No flaming! We've got sensitive skin! )
Nataku-chan - ::gives her a weird look:: Anyways. We're still working on our individual works, but Miss Chang Po got this idea and just HAD to get it out.
Miss Chang Po - It wasn't just my idea. but anyways, read and enjoy. And let us know what you think!
Kagome opened her eyes, dazed and disoriented. She raised a hand to rub the sleep from her eyes only to find that she could not raise her hand.
'What the.?' Slate gray eyes widened in surprise; the forest air surrounding her was filled with the glowing light of numerous souls. Looking around, the young girl from the future could also spot many soul collectors floating about. In fact, it was three Shinidamachu that held her bound.
'Beneath the Goshinboku.' Kagome looked up into its deep canopy before staring back into the darkness of the forest. 'But who.?'
"So, you're awake."
Kagome gasped in surprise as a female figure emerged from the shadows. She noticed a stumbling gait and the tired expression she bore, but they were soon forgotten by the fact that the figure was armed and she was not. The Shinidamachu gathered around the figure, bathing her in a luminous glow. "Kikyo.?"
The ancient priestess, of whom she was an incarnation, cast her a wan smile. "Do not pretend to be so surprised," she replied calmly, slowly closing the distance between them as the Soul Collectors followed loyally behind her. "Who else could have managed such a feat with the aid of these Soul Collectors?"
Kagome stared wryly at the snake-like creatures that stayed secure around her arms and waist. She did have a point - Kikyo was the only one she knew of that could control them. But why was she here? And where was-
"Inu Yasha is not far away," Kikyo commented lightly, silently reveling in the expression that crossed her successor's face. Her thoughts were just so transparent.
The young miko gulped hesitantly. So this was it - Kikyo was finally going to kill her. Why couldn't she have been awake when the undead miko decided to kidnap her? At least then she would have stood a fighting chance.
Kikyo took a final step towards her and stopped. With a slim, graceful hand she beckoned away the Shinidamachu holding Kagome captive. Free from her restraints, she jumped up bracing herself for any attacks the miko might decide to dish out.
Naturally, Kagome was surprised when another bow and quiver was dropped at her feet. She looked up at her predecessor questioningly. "Why?"
Kikyo's face remained void of emotion. "Now we are both armed."
Quick to act, Kagome grabbed the weapons, quickly drawing an arrow across the bow. "Start talking, Kikyo." She replied evenly, staring down her older Doppelganger. "Why am I here?"
The older miko smirked. "You've gotten stronger," she remarked, making action against Kagome. "I must say I am slightly impressed."
"Thanks," Kagome answered uncertainly. "I think." 'This is weird.. why is Kikyo here? And why is she complimenting me?'
"I used to think of you as a poor copy of myself," Kikyo went on. "A poor joke made against me by the Fates to spite me when I returned to the living world."
Kagome balked. 'This is the most I've ever heard Kikyo say to me,' she thought to herself. 'But does she HAVE to insult me when she does it?'
But her 'captor' was still speaking. "And as I tried to remove you from my existence, you proved to be like a weed; no matter how many times I tried to uproot or kill you, you constantly continue to spring up in my path-"
The grip Kagome had on her arrow threatened to split it in half. 'Is she trying to piss me off?!'
Something between a smirk and a smile passed across Kikyo's face. "But I find that like a weed, you are strong and persistent. and often possess a beauty that rivals many flowers. You have come a long way."
Kagome took a step back. 'Freaky.' This was just getting too weird for her liking. Had she stepped into the Twilight Zone or something? She found herself looking around anxiously. Just where was Inu Yasha anyway?
Kikyo's expression suddenly became cold. "Inu Yasha will not come. He cannot come." Kagome looked back at her in surprise. "He would have been here now were it not for the barrier that I set up around this area."
"Why?" Kagome sputtered, not releasing her hold on her bow and arrow. "Why did you do all of this? Why did you bring me here?"
"So that I could speak to you alone." Again Kagome blinked in surprise. "Ever since that incident with the Miko-Fuuji, I cannot help but think my view of you has changed."
"Okay."
"When I asked why it was you had chosen not to leave me behind," Kikyo was watching her very carefully. "You told me it was because I would have been missed if something were to happen to me."
Kagome swallowed, staring down at her feet. "Well, it's true."
"But it is not your truth."
"Huh?"
"Tell me, Kagome," Kikyo's expression was one of amusement now. "Do you hate me?" Kagome blinked. "And do be truthful; lies do not become us."
The younger of the two women stared at her counterpart with a solemn expression. "I don't, Kikyo." She replied. The slight look of surprise she registered did not go unnoticed. "I can't hate you, but I'm not sure whether I trust you."
"You are smarter than I gave you credit then." Her expression turned thoughtful. "I have another question for you - and again, lying will serve no purpose here."
Deciding that she really had no choice in the matter, Kagome nodded slowly, expecting the worst.
"Do you love Inu Yasha?"
Though she was surprised at the question, she answered without hesitation. She had struggled many weeks with this question, and when she had finally found an answer for herself, it had felt as though a great burden had been lifted from her shoulders.
"Yes."
Kagome, however, was not the only one who had not felt something at this revelation. Kikyo had known, long before Kagome, where her affections for the hanyou in question lay. After all, she still carried a piece of the girl's soul - though it had once been my own, she thought sourly - within her clay body. And yet, while the revelation had lifted Kagome's spirits some, it served only to sink Kikyo further into her own despair.
She was no longer alive. She could not appreciate the things mortals had once often taken for granted. She did not sleep; day and night she aimlessly walked the lands searching for what was endlessly beyond her reach. She could feel pain, but she could not cry. When she was hungry, she fed upon the souls of the dead. The only thirst she wished to quench was that of revenge. She could no longer love, only hate. Her soul was tired, but she was comforted in the fact that it would soon be put to rest.
She gazed at the young girl who stood before her. Once, the mere thought of her would fill Kikyo's being with such a bitter feeling of spite. How dare this slip of a girl try to replace her - to make people forget all of the sacrifices she had made for the sake of her people. But after seeing her, being near her without the interference of others, Kikyo soon learned her bitterness was misplaced. In the events that had lead to Kikyo's demise, and the way people viewed her currents actions - the undead miko had no one to blame but herself.
Where Kikyo had once sought to protect the people, she then placed them in harm's way in efforts to gain revenge. Where she was once kind and gentle, she had grown angry and cold, scorning all those who had wished to help her. And the one person she should have cared for more than anyone had fallen victim to her ire more than once even AFTER she learned he was not to blame for her demise.
She stared at the young girl before, who watched her warily. Not even she - whom she had found to be more forgiving than anyone - trusted her completely. And why should she? She was an evil, bitter woman who would kill an innocent girl to regain the affections of a man she had once sought to kill.
"Kagome, it appears you are the better of the two of us after all."
The girl in question blinked in surprise. "Kikyo..?"
"You needn't pretend to believe otherwise." Kikyo frowned. "Had I have been in your position, I would not have hesitated to leave you behind." Her expression turned bitter once again. "And yet every time I have found myself at your mercy, you choose to spare me. Why? Is it because of Inu Yasha?"
"No." Her voice was soft and gentle.
Kikyo's was harsh and angry. "Do not lie to me!"
Slate gray eyes closed as the younger girl shook her head. She stared back up at her quietly. "I'm not lying, Kikyo." She replied. "I know Inu Yasha would be sad if you were gone - but that's not why I helped you. I don't believe you should need a reason to help someone. If they're in trouble, then they're in trouble --," She shook her head as if to emphasize her point. "There's never any question of whether I should help a person or not. I just do because that's just the natural thing for me to do."
Kikyo stared at her in shocked silence. Recovering quickly, she schooled her face back into an expressionless mask. "I see." She looked away, closing her eyes as one of her Soul collectors caressed her face gently. "I suppose that's why Inu Yasha cares about you - why he protects you so wholeheartedly."
Kagome shook her head. "I don't know about that," she admitted sadly. "Besides, it doesn't matter when you're involved-" She paused, realizing how bad that sounded. "You and Inu Yasha--"
Kikyo stared up into the sky, a wistful expression passing over her face. "What Inu Yasha and I had was not love," she replied solemnly. "Perhaps it would have been had things turned out differently for us." She paused, turning an ear to the forest before continuing. She had to get this out before time ran out for her. "I respected Inu Yasha.. I suppose I even cared deeply for him. but I will not be so false as to say I loved him."
Kagome felt as though she had been dealt a physical blow. What was she saying? Did she mean to say that he was not worthy or Kikyo's affections, or that what she felt for him was false, too? Then was all the pain Inu Yasha had put himself through for nothing? How dare she presume.
The elder priestess turned towards her, amused at the expressions flitting across her face. If there was any one who better suited the hanyou than she it was certainly Kagome. Their outright stubbornness matched each other stride for stride.
The Shinidamachu were gathering closer about her now, whispering agitated nothings in her ears. She frowned slightly, a tight feeling welling up in her chest. Time was growing short; she had to do it now or else she'd lose the nerve.
"I have a request, Kagome," The young girl looked at her as if she'd grown a third eye. "I wish for you to do something for me."
Kagome held her position, eying the other woman warily. "What is it?" she asked hesitantly.
"Look after Inu Yasha."
"What?"
Kikyo scowled. "Do not make me repeat myself, girl," Kagome blinked at the sudden harshness in her voice. A lost expression passed over her face as realization dawned on Kagome. "Saying it once was hard enough."
"Kikyo." she began slowly. "What do you plan to do?"
The other woman let out a wry chuckle. "It does not concern you at all."
'It does if you plan to hurt Inu Yasha..' "You don't plan to go after Naraku, do you?"
Kikyo scowled at her before turning away. "Don't be foolish," she exclaimed. "In my current state, I would not stand a chance against him."
Kagome played those last few words back in her head. ''In my current state'.?' She looked up to see Kikyo slowly walking away from her. "Kikyo, wait!" She closed the distance between the two of them, walking along side her. "Maybe I can help..?"
Brown eyes narrowed distastefully. "You will be helping me by accepting my request." She replied in a low tone.
Kagome found herself blushing lightly. "I think Inu Yasha is more than capable of taking care of himself." She replied.
"Don't be naïve," Kikyo replied, stopping. "That is not what I meant."
Kagome stopped, her face going completely red. Surely Kikyo wasn't giving her permission to be with Inu Yasha, was she? And if she was, just in what way did she mean exactly? Turning to face her, she reached out to touch her hesitantly. "Kikyo..?"
The elder miko let out a gasp of pain, dropping to the ground. The Shinidamachu hovered overhead, zipping around frantically.
"Kikyo!" Kagome dropped to her side instantly, visually checking for any injuries. She didn't look wounded; what was wrong with her?
Kikyo brushed her hands aside, forcing herself to her knees. "Don't touch me.." she breathed out.
"Kikyo, please - let me help you!"
"Accept.. my.. request.."
"But Inu Yasha.."
Kikyo stared up at her, eyes filled with pain and another emotion Kagome could not identify. "Inu Yasha. has nothing to do with my request.." She gasped out.
"But you.."
Slowly and hesitantly, Kikyo raised a hand to her haori without a word, pulling it back to expose her chest.
Staring, Kagome could only gasp in horror. Where there should have been pale skin, in its place was black, crumbling clay. In place of Kikyo's heart was a black, gaping hole. "Kikyo."
"As you can see," Kikyo breathed. "I am not well. I would say I was dying if I had not already died." She chuckled, only to seize at her haori as a fit of pain seized her.
"Kikyo!" Kagome cried out worried, holding the shaking woman in her arms. Her heart clenched in worry and fear. What was happening to her?
"I can no longer hold onto the hate," Kikyo replied. "It had consumed my entire being, transforming me into something I - in my previous life - would have come to despise. I have chosen to let go of the hate, rather than turn into one of the very monsters I strove to destroy." She paused, staring down at the grass beneath them. "How ironic that without that hate, I too will be destroyed."
"I won't let that happen!" Kagome exclaimed, clutching her arms desperately. "I'll protect you!"
Kikyo eyed her skeptically. "How can you when you must be the one to destroy me?"
Had she not been already ill, Kagome would have dropped her like she carried the plague. She stared down at the woman in her arms in horror. "What are you saying?!"
"This is my request to you, Kagome," Kikyo replied slowly. "I realize that my time here has ended. The fact that I am merely feeding off of the life that belongs to you sickens me." She stared up at the slate gray eyes of the girl that was so like her and yet so unlike her. "I beseech you - take back what rightfully belongs to you."
"I - I can't do that!" Kagome shook her head, her body quaking in disbelief.
"You can't.. or you won't?" Brown eyes narrowed a fraction more. "I was under the impression Inu Yasha would not sway your decisions regarding me."
"Kikyo - I want to help you, don't deny that!" Kagome exclaimed fiercely. "But you cannot ask me to take your life! I can't do that! I won't do that!"
Kikyo closed her eyes. "I see." Scrounging up the strength the stand, she freed herself from Kagome's embrace, forcing herself to her feet. "Then I have no choice."
Kagome quickly rose after her, bracing herself. "What?"
Shinidamachu hovering about her, supporting her, Kikyo let out a low chuckle. "I was a fool to expect amnesty from you." she murmured. "After all, when have I ever shown you mercy?"
"Kikyo, it's not like that!" Kagome exclaimed. "How can you ask me that. what makes you think I would want you to die?"
"I am already dead!" Kikyo cried out. "I have accepted that and yet I am still unable to find rest!" She paused, calming herself. "I ask you to grant me that, and you deny me. So now I must take it by force." She raised her hands, a bow and arrow appearing in her hand.
"Kikyo?!" Kagome had no time to react before an arrow whizzed by her face, grazing her cheek. She looked up in horror at Kikyo, who stood swaying on her feet, drawing another arrow to her bow. "What are you doing?"
"You have left me no other course of action, Kagome." Kikyo answered evenly. "Since I was reborn at the hands of Urasue, I have believed that only one of us could exist in this time." She let loose another arrow, slicing past Kagome's arm. "Know now that, I still believe this." The young girl cried out, clutching at the fresh wound in alarm. "It is up to you to decide which one of us it will be."
Blood flowing freely from her cheek and her shoulder, Kagome fumbled weakly for the bow and arrow that lay at her feet - never once taking her eyes off of the miko several yards away. "Kikyo."
Kikyo cut her off, her voice harsh and unyielding. "Draw your weapon, Kagome," she replied.
"I can't."
"You won't."
"I don't want you to die."
"Then you don't want me to be free."
"Inu Yasha loves you.."
'Foolish girl..' Kikyo's cold mask faltered slightly. "I do not love Inu Yasha." She replied. "I am not the same one I was 50 years ago, and you are a fool to think he is the same man he was 50 years ago."
"I do know that." Kagome began.
Kikyo interrupted her again. "Then you should also know that the Inu Yasha of 50 years ago could function fine without anyone else," The cold expression on her face melted slightly. "But without you, the Inu Yasha of now would surely be lost."
Touched by her words, Kagome felt the arrow and bow clutched tightly in her fingers slowly slipping from her grasp.
Kikyo's expression hardened again. "I told you to draw your weapon!" she yelled. "I will make it simple for you." Spiritual energy poured into her arrow. "This is my last arrow; contained within it is all my spiritual power. After I fire it, I will surely die. If you do not fire, you WILL die."
Kagome froze, unable to move.
Pulling back on the bow, Kikyo prepared to fire. "Let me make it clear to you, the only reason Inu Yasha is still alive now is because of you." Kikyo found her vision blurring, but she shook it away. "You believe in him, you give him something to fight for. So make no mistake, if you die, he dies."
Shaking fingers tightened around the wooden bow. Kagome felt her whole body shaking. Why. why was Kikyo doing this? Was she really going to make her choose?
A graceful smile - the first sincere one she had ever seen her make passed across Kikyo's face. She knew as well as Kagome that the choice had already been made. "Goodbye, Kagome," she replied softly.
"Kikyo - don't!"
"We will not meet again."
"KIKYO!"
The arrow was released, screaming through the air as mass amounts of spiritual energy. As it hit its intended mark, the sky light up in an explosion of bright light. Before long, everything fell silent once again.
~~
Inu Yasha did not stop to question why the barrier had vanished before he could cleave through it with his Tetsusaiga. As it faded away into nothing, the only thing on his mind was getting to the Goshinboku so that he could figure out what the hell was going on.
On one of the few nights he had actually decided to sleep, Kagome's scent had decided to up and disappear on him. He hadn't worried too much about it at first - she wasn't a stranger to having to answer the call of nature in the middle of the night. However, when her scent did not re-emerge, he woke up. She wasn't in her sleeping bag - hell she wasn't even in the camp and judging by the way her scent had just vanished, she hadn't left of her own will.
Yes, he would definitely find out what was going on. He'd find out who was responsible, and he'd kick their ass.
Off course, that's what he had thought at first, until he spotted the Shinidamachu hovering over the canopy of the forest. His anger had then quickly turned to dread. Where there were Soul collectors, there were dead souls, and were there were dead souls, there was Kikyo. And while he was obligated to the girl and cared about her well being, his mind could only register one thing - what the hell was she trying to do to Kagome this time?
It just wasn't fair! Kagome had never bore Kikyo any ill will, and yet she insisted on doing everything in her power to cause the girl harm! And for what; just because the girl happened to care about his well being despite how he treated her? No, things had gone on long enough - Inu Yasha hadn't wanted to hurt Kikyo anymore than he already had, but he had to tell her once and for all: he l-he cared about Kagome.
~~
As Inu Yasha entered the forest cleaning, he was shocked into stillness. The Shinidamachu were gone, as were the wandering spirits. The air was quiet and still. The only living thing in the area was Kagome.
She was crying. And she was holding a pile of dirt and soil.
Inu Yasha approached her slowly. The scent of her tears filled his nose first, but it was the scent of the dirt and soil that sent him reeling. "Ka - Kagome."
The young girl froze, turning to face him. "Inu Yasha." She froze, looking from him to the soil in her hands. She stood up, backing away from. "Oh God. Inu Yasha."
He took in the sight of the blood on her cheek and arm, but the soil was all that he could smell.
"I'm sorry." Tears were running more freely now. "I'm so sorry."
From the dirt and soil remaining on the ground, Inu Yasha could see scraps of red and white cloth. He gazed up at her slowly, understanding filling his eyes. "So, she's gone."
Kagome froze before dropping to her knees. The dirt and soil slipped through her fingers as she bowed forward, her head touching the ground. "I'm so sorry.. I'm so sorry." She clenched her hands shut tightly. "She asked me and I said no. I swear to God I did! I'm so sorry!"
Inu Yasha blinked, her tears overcoming the scent of the dirt. "Kagome."
"I didn't mean to, Inu Yasha! I swear to you, I didn't!" She pounded her fists in the dirt, clutching at the grass between her fingers. "She made me choose! She made me choose!"
If she kept this up she was going to snap, his conscience told himself. "Kagome!" He closed the distance between them, pulling her up by the shoulders. When she cried out in pain, he clutched her to him. "Kagome.. Calm down."
Kagome was still crying, apologizing over and over. "I killed her, Inu Yasha. she made me do it, but I killed her. Please, please, forgive me!" She clutched at his haori desperately. "Please."
"No." Kagome froze once again. But before she could pull away, Inu Yasha did first, looking her squarely in the eye. "Stop apologizing, Kagome. It's not your fault."
"But.."
Amber eyes looked down at her sadly. "Kikyo died a long time ago." He replied. "I knew that, even when I saw the look-alike created by Urasue."
"But she may as well have been Kikyo!" Kagome exclaimed. "She had a soul!"
"She had a part of your soul," Inu Yasha exclaimed, surprising himself at his own calmness. "Along with the souls of other dead girls." When had he come to grips with all of this, he wondered? With a start he realized that it was when he believed Kikyo might have seriously harmed Kagome. At that point, he had subconsciously realized Kagome was the person he cared for most.
'But Kagome has been hurt..' He replied, taking in her injuries, and the way she still clutched the dead miko's remains in her white-knuckled grasp.
"Did Kikyo do this.." Inu Yasha swallowed slowly, holding the shaking girl in his embrace more for his comfort than her own. "Just to hurt you?"
Kagome blinked, snapping out of her trance. "No!" she exclaimed, looking up at frantically. "No! She was the one hurting!" She looked away at the shocked look on his face. "Her body could no longer hold onto the hate that had kept her going for so long - she was breaking down and it was causing her pain."
Realization dawned on him. "So she asked you to put her out of her misery?" Kagome nodded. "Then you did what I couldn't do." He laid his head on top of hers. "Thank you."
"You're not angry?"
"Don't be stupid." The comment held none of his usual harshness. "You allowed her to be at peace. I think that's what she really wanted all along." He closed his eyes. "I was too weak and selfish to grant her that."
"That's not true, Inu Yasha," Kagome replied gently. "What you did was natural.." She paused. "You loved her after all.."
"No, I didn't."
Kagome frowned. "What?"
Sighing heavily, Inu Yasha looked up at the sky. "Kikyo was the only person who understood me - who knew what it was like to be an outsider." Inu Yasha explained. "I respected Kikyo and I cared for her - but I didn't love her. I see that now." He looked down at the wide-eyed girl in his arms. "Do you know why?"
Kagome could only shake her head dumbly.
"It's cuz I couldn't trust her." He chuckled wryly. "And I'm sure she didn't trust me either. I mean, look at what happened to us with Naraku."
"Inu Yasha."
"Kagome," He brushed a tear from running down into the cut on her cheek. She winced a little, but ended up blushing at the gesture. "I don't want you to feel guilty about what happened, hear me?" He cut her off before she could interrupt. "For what you've done, I know Kikyo will always be grateful - and so will I." He smirked lightly. "Cuz of you, I'm no longer tied to my obligation to Kikyo. I can l--" He paused, coughing lightly. "I can protect you the way I want to now."
For a moment, Kagome remained still, staring up at him. After a few moments of silence, she sighed, leaning against him.
Inu Yasha blinked. "Kagome.?" He stared down at her. The poor girl had passed out. He sighed heavily. "Let's head back. "Collecting her in his arms, he stood up slowly so not to jar her injuries.
"..Nu.Yasha..?" The white haired hanyou stared down at his cargo in curiosity. She was unconscious, wasn't she? "..Love you.."
'I know..' He thought to himself with a smile. 'And I'll tell you how I feel about you once you wake up.' Placing a gently, but clumsy kiss upon her forehead he turned to head back towards the village, pausing once to look back at the pile of soil that was blowing away in the wind. "Kikyo. this is goodbye." A sad smile passed over his face. "I know I can rest now knowing you're in peace now."
As he disappeared back into the forest, a wraith-like figure appeared, smiling gently into the night air.
"So can I, Inu Yasha.. So can I.."
Owari