Haley came home for Nathan or so that's what she kept telling herself, ever since Lucas had come to New York and wrapped her in a loving embrace, she had seen only his face. His eyes pleading with her to come home, to come back to them, she had never felt more torn in that moment, so she made a decision she came home and she really didn't know who she cared more for-was it her best friend-someone she had known her entire life-or was it her husband a man she had helped shape and change-making him the best version of himself.
She got the call about his accident and her heart plummeted, every single fear that she had pushed aside whilst on tour came hurtling back to the surface and made her pack a bag and come home. It was time to face the music and all the people that she had left behind, Haley dreaded facing Nathan and seeing the hurt in his eyes as he realized she had only come back because of his accident. This was part of why she really hadn't wanted to come to the hospital, everyone would be there silently judging her and questioning her motives, she didn't know how she felt about anything anymore and that scared her more than returning to this uncertainty did. She sighed as she recognised the scruffy blond locks, his hand was gripping the back of his neck and he looked drained. She walked over to him and enveloped him in a tight hug.
'Hales, you're back', his arms wrapped around her and he felt the tension ease from his body, it felt good to have her back, no it felt great to have her safe and in his arms. His stomach was dancing with nerves and he couldn't help but smile, all those emotions he had thought were for his Blondie had been masquerading as just that, he actually felt something for Haley. He didn't know when it started or how it happened, all he knew is that he now looked at her the same way he had once looked at Peyton. It felt natural to see her in this way; they had been through everything together, until she had chosen Nathan and a commitment with him.
Luke knew he would need to tread carefully, Haley was someone's wife, and he was his sister in law-he also needed to know where she was at emotionally. He wasn't going to put himself out there unless she in some way reciprocated his feelings.
She was the pale ghost in the morning light staring back at you, she was the mistake you woke up to every morning, she was the decision you wished you could take back as each day she got a little further away from your heart. She wasn't who she was meant to be, she disappointed you in ways that became the only way you viewed her, she was the burden you carried like a second skin she was the greatest mistake you mistook for your greatest achievement.
Nathan covered his chest where his wedding ring lay and it felt heavy to him, he didn't want to see her face, he didn't want to see her lips curve into a smile he wanted a way out, a release from the choices he had made as a kid thinking he was a man. He wanted the old Nathan back, he didn't want the responsibilities of a marriage that had occurred because he mistakenly believed in the promise of a forever not realizing that his fragile heart wasn't nearly ready enough to commit to this, he knew he needed to see her one last time and close that chapter of his life once and for all. Living without Haley had been hard, but not missing her was becoming second nature, he didn't want what he knew she couldn't give.
Haley reluctantly withdrew from Luke's arms and she saw something in his eyes, she had seen it once before, it was the light that danced at the corners of his irises when he thought of Peyton-it was love and hope. She felt unnerved, she hadn't expected it and she now felt even worse, she was stuck in a marriage that had become a millstone around her neck. Her wedding ring felt like a weight dragging her ever further toward the abyss, she knew she had made a mistake, she felt it in her heart and she knew she needed to talk to Nathan and find a way out of this mess. Haley was as ever torn between two places, stay and heal a broken heart or move on and put it down to a mistake in her youth, Haley hated to fail at anything. This would be her greatest failure and something she couldn't take back no matter how hard she tried. It's easy to believe in something and have optimism when you are young-it's harder to choose something when you have seen the consequences of an absence and a young heart that has been broken apart.
'Luke, how is he? I haven't seen him since that concert and well he sounded weird on the phone. He didn't want me to come home, but after seeing you guys in New York. I knew I never really had a choice in the matter'.
'Haley no one is upset that you have come home ok-We all wanted you back and yeah it will be hard seeing everyone again-but you have me and you have Brooke. Nathan is hurting right now, but I think in time he will be just fine' He pressed a kiss to her temple and it felt like lightning had struck his core, she felt her heart spike in her chest, just one touch from him and she felt herself go weak in the knees. Haley knew then that all the choices she had made in her life had led her to this point, she had a Luke in her arms promising her all sorts of things and somehow it gave her the strength she didn't know she needed in order for her to face Nathan and ultimately face the music.
'Luke I need to go see him, can you come with me-I don't know if he will want to be alone with me considering how we left things'. Luke nodded his head and held her hand inside his own, it felt right somehow and he wondered when his feelings had changed from friendly to I could take you home right now. He quietened his voice of reason and just held her hand, she sunk into his side and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder-he let her hand go and felt her relax in his embrace.
They stood outside his room and Haley took a deep breath, she felt Luke stroke her arm and murmur comforting words. She bolstered her resolve and pushed the door open, he lay on his back propped up by cushions, rap music was playing softly in the background and Peyton was sketching him. Her eyes widened when she saw Haley standing there, she was in shock-she was the last person she expected to see standing in the doorway.
'Haley, you're back'. Peyton stood up and crossed the room; she hugged her friend even though she was still a little mad at her for having been gone for so long. She pushed this aside as she felt her friend cling to her for dear life and comfort.
'It's great to see you Peyton' Haley meant what she had said and she was relieved that at least for now they could put aside their differences and just be there for Nathan.
'Haley…' Nate looked at his wife and knew his decision had been the right one, he loved her he always would-but he wasn't in love with her anymore-or so he kept telling himself. Seeing her didn't make his heart ache, he had to steel himself mentally and emotionally to deal with this, he ached for her in a different way but no less powerful.
She had been his greatest best mistake, she had taught him how to love like you should love but somewhere along the way they had both grown into different people and he knew that he would be divorced soon. He hoped they could still remain friends, he still wanted her in his life, she was a beautiful person inside and out and even though they had both been too selfish to make it work he still wanted to joke around with her and see that smile of hers. He opened his arms wide and she walked quietly over to his bedside, she sat next to him and wrapped her arms around her husband. It sounded weird in her head and she no longer fit in his life as his wife, but she would always treasure who they had been to one another. Nate had been taught from a young age to hide your desires beneath a veil of bravado; he never wore who he was on his sleeve. Dan had given him this from an early age and Haley had been the only one to break through all the smoke and mirrors and see the real Nate. He didn't know if he was ever going to be enough for her, he didn't really know what he wanted; he was in pain and not just from the accident.
Haley had been loved and although the fire of their relationship had burned brightly it had a spectacular meltdown, they were too young and it was obvious that a commitment for life was asking a lot of a couple of kids. She stroked the back of his head and pressed a goodbye kiss to his lips. It was sweet and innocent and made both of them a little sad, but she smiled and said she was glad he was going to be ok. Luke and Peyton left them alone to talk it out and went and had some coffee. Peyton had looked at Luke and knew that whatever had been between them was gone, a distant memory of two people that had fought for something that had ruined too many relationships and in the end been too complicated.
She was in love with the idea of them rather than the reality and when she told this to Luke he smiled and said she had voiced the same thing he felt in his heart. They could have been great, they could have been something-but it was too hard and they were both too stubborn to see if it could work. Peyton wasn't ready to lose Brooke as a friend and Luke wasn't sure he could push aside his newfound feelings for Haley to pursue the broody blonde. A huge part of him wanted the challenge to see if they still had it there but a bigger part of him was saying let sleeping dogs lie. He chose to leave it for now and see where the wind took him, he didn't know if he was in love with Haley or if it was concern and hope that she would stay.
Luke never really knew how he felt until the last possible worst moment and he always seemed to make a mess of things, he would see Haley through her divorce and be there for her as a friend and if anything developed between them-they could deal with it as and when it happened.
Haley and Nathan talked about everything and it was a little sad and heart breaking the ending of something was always hard. They both cried and smiled through the tears, letting go was never easy and it was the culmination of too many mistakes that could never be fully rectified that solidified the decision, they parted on good terms and Haley felt a piece of herself tear away. It was the loss of innocence and a shared knowledge that had they waited they may have just made it, but they were too young and too old of heart to go back and fix the mistakes of youth. Haley left with a mark on her soul and lead in her feet, it just seemed to get harder the further she got from who she had been.
Haley found Luke in the waiting room, he was comforting Peyton and they were talking in low voices. He stood up as she entered the room, they said goodbye to Peyton and left the hospital. The drive back to Luke's was in silence neither of them trusting themselves to speak about the weird vibe that had sprung up between them. She shouldered her bag and they went inside, Karen was working at the café and Brooke had flown to California to see her parents. She was trying to catch a flight home so that she could be with her friends, she had called and Luke needed to pick her up later from the airport. He left Haley after they had some food and promised he would be back soon. She lay down on his bed and took a nap she was emotionally drained and her heart was all over the place.
Brooke would be a whirlwind when she got back and she didn't know how well she was going to cope with the barrage of questions sure to come her way. Sleep overtook her and she dreamed of Nate and her in happy times, she felt secure in the knowledge that they were meant to be together maybe she had been wrong in giving up on them. It took being home for Haley to realize that sometimes decisions made in the wake of terrible accidents and misunderstandings could only add to the colossal disappoint she felt in not being able to make her marriage work. It was a startling revelation that left her reeling long after she woke up, she needed to talk with Nathan and see if they could move forward, they would never be the idealistic couple they had been but maybe they could be so much more than that. She knew what she felt for Luke was residual feelings left over from the fallout with Nathan, because even though she hadn't come back for him-her heart still resided snugly with Nate and she really didn't know what she was going to do.
It was all a big ugly mess that only got worse the more time she spent at home, Luke was confusing her-her marriage was tearing her apart and being home didn't feel like home anymore. She had grown up here but had never felt more removed from everything and everyone. Confronting old and new demons was never easy, but that little time spent with Nate had served a purpose, she would fight for them. She wanted a child with him; she could see it in her mind's eye. Besides no one really believed that Luke and Peyton were over for good, there was always something there between them simmering beneath the surface whether they chose to acknowledge it or not. They ignored it and broke three hearts in the process maybe it was time for everyone to let go of all the pain and just be happy-be with the person who put fire in their soul and made everything just that little bit more bearable and beautiful.
It was a long road to recovery; time would need to be spent rehashing all the existing problems and seeing a way through it. It wouldn't be easy and there was no magic fix it all formula but they had to try-otherwise what was the point. She needed to Luke and establish some sort of common ground, she knew given the opportunity he would fall back into a relationship with Brooke, because she couldn't destroy him the same way Peyton could-if they weren't meant to be then there was no hope for Haley and Nate. Luke and Peyton were fated, they had a destiny to fulfil and if you looked at it realistically they would end up together anyway. Luke had never been faithful to Brooke-you don't ever really fall out of love with someone you just force yourself to believe that you do-because the alternative is pretty devastating.
Peyton still looked at Luke the same way she had after the accident and she saw that the look he held in his eye may have been for Haley and the spark they felt when they touched was each of them denying themselves what they truly wanted. It was two hearts forcing a bond that had always been there and could be easily mistaken for something more, she didn't love Luke like that and it took almost losing Nathan to realize that-she was a fool for that man and she always would be.
Brooke came back and as predicted was a total whirlwind of activity and questions, they sat and talked and it felt like old times. Their friendship was easy and full of laughter and stories, Brooke made everything seem possible-she was a great friend and she seemed to have mended that heart of hers in the time she had spent apart from everyone. She had met a boy whilst she spent her summer in California-he had been good for her, they had learnt from one another. H was coming to see her in a few months; he was a year older and graduated from high school a year earlier. He was different, he let her be herself and she opened up to him, he was smart and passionate and handsome. He was exactly what Brooke had needed in order to come back whole and ready to face the drama that was Tree Hill.
Peyton called by and welcomed home her best friend; Luke looked at her and wondered if they had been too hasty in disregarding their feelings. She still took his breath away and he began to ponder if what he had been feeling for Haley was residual feelings for the girl who had stolen his heart at the tender age of thirteen when he barely knew what love was, he just knew he felt an overwhelming need to get to know her and be with her.
'B Davis how was California?'
'It was everything I imagined it would be, Bitchtoria fought non-stop with my father, I took over the beach house and left them in the house in the Canyons. I met a boy who will be coming down here to see me in a month and I flew back early to see how Nate was doing. I'll go see him tomorrow with Haley' Brooke enveloped her best friend in a hug, even though everything was different and she no longer harboured feelings for Luke she really needed to talk to Peyton and let her know that she could act on her feelings without feeling any guilt. It was their time to be together, like it really should have been all along. It was puppy love, it was two people desperately trying to find their way and seeking shelter in the arms of a person they thought could make sense of the madness. They both realized too late that neither one of them could make any sense of any of it. By being together they were just prolonging the inevitable.
Luke never really let Brooke all the way in and she never really forgave him for betraying her in the first place, it took a summer of clarity and a car accident for Brooke to realize that life was too short to be with the wrong person. It was time to forgive old hurts and move on, she had mended herself and spent the summer away not missing her friends but getting back to the girl she had been before all the heartache had set in.
'Luke can I talk to you for a sec?' Brooke and Haley had taken a seat on the back porch and were sipping some wine Brooke had brought back with her. A silence had descended over Luke and Peyton when those two had stood up and announced they wanted some one on one time. Peyton grasped his hand scribbled a quick note to Brooke and Haley and pulled Luke out the front door. She drove to the Rivercourt and decided that enough was enough she needed to know if they had something worth salvaging. It was now or never, she walked toward where he stood staring out at the lake.