What Happened To Us?, a gundam wing/ac fanfic

What Happened To Us?

By: Sailor Aurora Helios

I thought it was too good to be true.

I found somebody who,

Understands me.

Sighing, the teen shifted slightly in his bed, cobalt eyes peering through the darkness at the boy beside himself, who had insisted they share the bed in the one bedroom apartment, rather than have someone sleep on the floor. He couldn't help watching his partner sleep. He looked so peaceful, so innocent… who would think this boy could be a killer like himself?

Heero couldn't help the feeling, the need to protect that innocence. He wasn't supposed to feel though, not supposed to have emotions. Heero was supposed to be a machine. Duo Maxwell had changed that fact though, with out realizing it he'd brought back some of the repressed emotions. Why and how exactly Duo'd caused this to happened Heero wasn't sure. He felt like he could put his trust in Duo and that Heero could possibly open up to the American. …Duo could, possibly, understand him.

Someone who would help me to get through,

And fill the emptiness I had inside me.

An almost inaudible whimper and a brief flinch crossed the boy's sleeping features, disturbing the peaceful state. Unconsciously Duo reached out searching until his grip locked on Heero's arm. A shiver ran down Duo's spine and his grip tightened, refusing to let go or be pried away. Another unconscious movement, this time closer to Heero, clinging desperately to him.

Heero watched Duo carefully before wrapping an arm around him hesitantly, but the instinctive need to protect, to comfort Duo over ruled all.

Amethyst eyes abruptly snapped open and Duo tightened his grip almost painfully on Heero. Harsh, ragged breathing was the only sound that escaped Duo's lips while his body violently shook uncontrollably. Claming down those, almost terrified, violet hues moved up, slowly, to meet cobalt. Duo took a shaky breath before dropping his gaze, buried his face away in Heero's chest, and ever so quietly murmured his thanks.

But you kept inside,

And I just denied,

Some things that we should have both said.

Heero wasn't there when Duo woke up again later that morning. He never was. Duo expected this now, for almost a month he'd been traveling with Heero, and almost every other night Duo'd wake up from the nightmares. It was after those first few times that Heero started comforting him when he woke and Duo would always fall back asleep in Heero's arms, the only place he'd ever feel safe after those nightmares. Duo always woke up alone though. That's just who Heero was though, he kept to himself, to his missions. He had a hint of kindness in him, that tiny glimpse of humanity but was still efficient, logical, and mechanical. As close as was possible to being a machine, that's what Heero was supposed to be, after all.

…But it still hurt.

Duo wouldn't admit that it hurt though. He wouldn't admit he hated the feeling he got when he fell asleep with someone and then that person left him. Especially when that person was Heero. Duo hated feeling abandoned, more so when all he wanted was to be with that person. Duo did not want to be with Heero; he did not love his best friend... at least that was what Duo told himself.

So life went on. What happened after those nightmares was of course never brought up, partly because Duo denied having any sort of inner demons, partly because Heero denied the fact the felt any form of compassion towards his comrade, and partly because they were both afraid.

I knew it was too good to be true,

Cause I'm the only one who understands me.

Heero was packing his things that afternoon when the American bounded into the room, pausing only to look questioningly at the bags and then at Heero.

"Mission." The reply was clipped as Heero closed the bag.

"Oh? What is it? Do I get to come with?" Duo eyed Heero for a moment before moving to also start packing his things.

"No," Heero's gaze followed Duo, "I'm taking it solo." A frown tugged at Duo's lips as he turned to face Heero for a moment.

"Well, then, what is it? You can handle it solo, can't you?" Duo asked, raising an eyebrow curiously, hoping for an honest reply. Though, Heero always thought he could handle everything alone. Heero's answer was only an inarticulate grunt as he closed the bag. Duo only rolled his eyes at the answer that was a typical and very Heero response.

"C'mon, 'Ro! What's the mission?" Duo moved to grab Heero's arm but soon found himself roughly shoved back, his eyes widening as he stumbled back. "Hee… Heero?!"

"Just leave it alone, Duo." Heero's voice was cold as he grabbed his things, walking towards the door.

What happened to us?

We used to be so perfect.

"What'd you have to go and shove me for?!" Duo glared a bit at Heero, eyes narrowing when Heero, per usual, ignored him. "Why do have to be such an asshole, Heero?! What the fuck did I ever do to you, huh?!" Heero only turned to glare threateningly at Duo before turning to leave once more. Duo immediately moved forward slamming the door shut, hissing,

"Answer me."

"Get out of the way, Duo."

"I don't have to fucking listen to you!" Duo shouted, voice raising slightly as he tried to figure out Heero.

"Move it!"

"Make me!"

"Fine." Heero growled grabbing Duo's arm and shoving him out of the way. The American caught him self spinning to backhand Heero.

"You're such an ass, Heero! Why the fuck do you have to be such a bastard?!" Duo shouted. His hands clenched as he took a shaky breath, glaring at Heero. The Perfect Soldier remained silent however, glaring back at Heero.

"All I wanted to know was what the mission was… you didn't have to get all pissed off. Damnit, Heero… why do you always change during the day, I liked the way you act towards me when I wake up at night. Why the hell can't you just be a bit nicer?! Fucking damnit, I don't know WHY I call you my best friend." Duo sighed seemingly giving up on the argument.

"Heero, don't leave… just… please?" Duo sighed looking up at Heero pleadingly. Heero turned away.

"Heero if you just ignore me and walk out, I swear… I'll never speak to you again." Duo said firmly, and it seemed like he wasn't only bluffing. Heero only glared at Duo before walking out.

Now I'm lost and lonely.

What happened to us?

And deep inside I wonder,

Did I loose my only…?

It was late and Heero sunk to the ground breathing heavily. The mission hadn't gone well, he'd been too distracted. 'I'll never speak to you again…' How serious had Duo been? Heero couldn't stop wondering that. A sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach consumed him at the thought of Duo never speaking to him again. Heero already felt like he missed the boy desperately trying to hear Duo's voice in his mind.

I'll never speak to you again.

"Damnit." Heero cursed that threat echoing in his mind. 'I swear…' Heero looked around him wearily before again letting his gaze fall. Had he made a mistake? Heero couldn't help but wonder… buried behind that façade of the Perfect Soldier, Heero was afraid he'd lost his only friend.

…Never speak to you again…

Remember they thought we were too young,

To really know what it takes to make it.

Alarms were blaring throughout the base as Duo raced down the hall as fast as he could. He spun around the corner straight into another person, instinctively Duo raised his gun and just as he was pulling back on the trigger Duo recognized a pair of cobalt eyes.

"Fuck! Heero!" Duo quickly stopped himself from almost shooting the teen and blinked curiously up at Heero. "What are you—"

"No time!" Grabbing Duo's arm as the words escaped his lips Heero continued running. Duo quickly got over the shock of having not seen Heero in weeks, returning his attention to the situation at hand. Abruptly Duo and Heero skidded to a stop glaring at the line of soldiers in front of them. A female officer stepped forward raising an eyebrow slightly,

"Boys? They're only little boys?" She murmured eyeing Heero and Duo but kept her gun trained on them. She smirked.

"You're too young; you don't even really understand this war do you? You're just kids; you probably weren't even alive when this all began. Surrender now, and maybe I'll have mercy enough to send you back to school where you belong."

But we have survived off what we have done,

So we could show them all that they're mistaken.

"Kids?" Duo raised an eyebrow quickly throwing a glance towards Heero who caught his gaze for a moment.

"We actually do understand this war, and we'll show you just what kinda little kids we are." Duo smirked devilishly before continuing, "I don't think just any kids would be nicknamed the Perfect Soldier and, of course, Shinigami, don't you agree, buddy?" Duo's eyes moved towards Heero, grinning even more at the faint smirk and slight nod from Duo's partner. Duo suddenly lunged forward, slamming his fist into a soldier's jaw before turning and shooting another. Heero had started to take out the soldier's just after Duo lunged forward.

"Guess ya were mistaken, ne, lady?" Duo smirked at the female soldier who was slowly backing away. Duo let out a bored sigh and crossed his arms. "Look, lady, Shinigami's feelin' a little merciful so you best get far, far away before I change my mind. See ya!" Duo smiled waving before he took off running, following Heero. The woman just stared in an awed fear after the young teenagers.

"…They're only kids… but… They have to be gotten rid of." The woman murmured before turning and running down the hall in the opposite direction.

Duo glanced at Heero as they continued running.

"Guess we showed her that we can survive even though we're kids ne—" Duo was cut off by the sound of a distant explosion and stopped for a moment. "Did you set any—"

"No. You?"

"Nope." They looked confused at each other for a moment but then there was the sound of more explosions growing closer. Duo's violet eyes widened and locked fearfully with Heero's.

"RUN!" They were already running though as the words escaped Duo's lips an explosion went of several yards back and the two ran as fast as they possibly could, but there was no way they could out run all the explosions.

"The whole fucking base is goin' dow—" Everything around them went completely insane as Duo and Heero found them selves thrown by explosions. Coughing through the smoke Duo weakly stood, squinting, trying to see.

"HEERO?!" He shouted straining his hearing for some kind of response. Duo stumbled forward weakly tripping over a fallen beam.

"Damnit, HEERO! ANSWER ME!" Duo shouted desperately as he again stood. A soft groan caught his hears and Duo picked his way through the debris to the sound soon seeing the outline of a human form under an almost crushing weight.

But who could have known,

The lies that would grow,

Until we could see right through them?

"HEERO?!" Duo ran forward collapsing to his knees weakly.

"K'so… Duo?" A raspy whispered reply, but it was still Heero's recognizable voice. Duo quickly looking over Heero, who was pinned helplessly, cursed softly.

"Hang on, buddy, I'll have ya out in a second." Duo said as he moved to lift the debris that pinned his friend to the ground with some difficulty. It was several agonizingly long minutes later when Duo finally dragged Heero away.

"Heero, you ok? Speak to me, buddy." Duo said desperately, hugging Heero to him.

"What… the hell… went wrong?" Heero gasped softly staring out into the destruction around them. Duo shook his head just staring down at Heero.

"I think they intended to kill us by blowing the whole place up, desperate fuckers…" Duo sighed, "Can you walk?"

"…can't… feel my legs."

"Fuck."

"Broken ribs, I can feel that alright."

"Double fuck."

"You? How injured…?" Heero asked softly as Duo struggled to stand, pulling Heero up with him.

"Ribs cracked, broken whatever the fuck is wrong with them… ankle hurts like a bitch… other than that some nasty scrapes and some stuff that'll bruise later on." Duo said as he staggered forward, partially dragging Heero with him. They made it a few feet before Duo collapsed, Heero following on top of him. Both teens let out pained sounds as they pulled away from each other.

"Damnit, c'mon 'Ro, we're not gonna fucking die in here. I won't fucking let you die. I need you too much…" Duo faltered biting his lip but continued, "I mean… you're my friend… and all…" Heero slowly looked up at Duo as the struggle to make progress, slowly inching away.

"There's no point in lying anymore, Duo, it's obvious… for both of us."

Remember, they knew we were too young.

We still don't know what it takes to make it.

Again, Duo fell shaking as he tried to take a breath. He'd gotten caught under another part of the collapsing building around them and he knew they were pretty much in a lot of trouble. Duo again tried desperately to breathe but it only bubbled in his chest further proving the fact he'd tried to denied, his broken ribs had punctured his lungs.

"Damnit! We're NOT going to fucking die here!" Duo shouted to no one. Heero had been slipping in and out of consciousness, Duo hadn't realized until recently how badly Heero was bleeding. The woman soldier he'd let go earlier came back to his mind calling them kids, that they didn't know what they were doing. Duo growled lowly struggling to stand so he could continue moving and get him and Heero out of here.

What happened to us?

We used to be so perfect,

Now I'm lost and lonely.

What happened to us?

And deep inside I wonder,

Did I lose my only one?

Dark spots flickered in front of Duo but he desperately trudged on. Heero had gone completely silent a long while ago, adding to the fear growing inside Duo. Tears stung in his eyes obstructing his vision even more.

"C'mon Perfect Soldier boy, let's get out of here. We're gundam pilots. We're not gonna get killed cause of some god damned explosives, ne?" Duo took another gasping breath shaking slightly, but the amount of oxygen he was getting was just becoming less no matter how hard he tried to breath. Duo looked back at Heero but looked away again immediately forcing himself not to see the blood… so much blood… it was everywhere.

We could have made it work.

We could have found a way.

Should have done our best,

To see another day.

The tears fell down Duo's cheeks as he weakly sunk to the ground looking back at Heero pleadingly.

"WAKE UP, GOD DAMN YOU!" Duo screamed before he turned away coughing harshly. The coughing fit lasted a moment and when Duo pulled his hand away from his mouth it was covered in blood.

"Fuckdamnit…" He cursed, "Not good. Not good at all." He wiped the blood on his pants before looking back at Heero. When Duo tried to stand again he doubled over in pain arms moving to his chest as the pain exploded fiercer than before. He moaned that hot metal of pain tearing through him from the inside out, ripping him apart. Each breath he took was in agony as it caused those knives of pain to slice through him again. Duo looked desperately at Heero, begging silently for him to wake up.

"God damnit, why didn't you try harder you fucking bastard?" Duo hissed weakly hitting his fist against Heero's still chest. Duo bent over again, closing his eyes and tried to breath for several long painful minutes.

"We can't die like this… I don't wanna die like this, god damn… I don't wanna die yet, not yet… Why didn't we try harder? We coulda made it out of here, right? Right. But you… you didn't even try. You gave up on me and left me here alone like the selfish bastard you are." Duo whispered weakly. Duo rolled over to lie beside Heero, resting his head on the boy's shoulder as he cried softly. Duo damned his tears to Hell, partly because the crying made it even harder to breath.

"We coulda worked things out. I know you're not just a cold asshole… we coulda been together, ya know? I loved you. Oh God, I loved you so much. Did you love me too? …Yeah, I know you did. But you just couldn't show it, and I know that but… it still hurt sometimes, Hee-chan… I know we coulda worked things out, and we'd find a way to be together after this fucking war."

But we kept it all inside,

Until it was too late.

And now we're both alone,

The consequence we've paid,

For throwin' it all away.

For throwin' it all away…

"Don't get me wrong, Heero, I don't regret it. I don't regret any of this, look at all we accomplished. We did a lot of good. We helped a lot of people and saved a bunch of lives. We kicked so major Oz ass." Duo smiled weakly chuckling but stopped abruptly with a soft, pained moan.

"We did some good shit while living this Helluva a lifestyle. But… god damn this isn't how it was supposed to end. We were supposed to live through the war, ya know, see what it's like to live in peace. And we were supposed to be together. I wanted us to be together, forever and ever… like a happy couple should be…

"But, Heero, this is the end isn't it? Guess my deal with Death finally ran out, heh… God damn, Heero… I wish we would have gotten over it and just came out and admitted we loved each other. But, ha! This is so typical for me ain't it, 'Ro? I mean, I find out the guy of my dreams loves me back as we're both dying. Irony!! Guess that's what we get for bein' such morons, right?"

What happened to us?

We used to be so perfect,

Now I'm lost and lonely.

What happened to us?

And deep inside I wonder,

Did I lose my only?

Duo sighed falling silent after his little monologue. He knew he'd used up whatever strength he had talking, but he had to do it or he'd have gone insane. He didn't want to feel like he was dying alone, bad enough he knew he'd lost his only chance with Heero.

Weakly Duo pulled himself up slightly moving closer to Heero. Duo pressed his lips against Heero's before sinking back down beside the unconscious teen. Duo's eyes closed as he absent-mindedly curled up against Heero before giving up and falling into the pain free darkness.

What happened to us?

As that bleak darkness consumed him, taking him away from the living realm Duo found a certain Japanese pilot waiting patiently for him. Duo sunk thankfully into those welcoming arms, clinging desperately to Heero. Perhaps they hadn't been able to see the end of the war together, but it seemed they won a second chance at being together in the end.

What happened to us?

~*~*~

x____x This wasn't what I originally was going to do when the muses gave me the idea!!! I don't know what happened to this! The fic took over and wrote itself!!! Ugh. I hate this fic. -___-; It sucks so bad, and… this wasn't where I wanted it to go… but… oh well. Thanks to Holly for proofreading, and Tia for always being there for me to send my crappy fics to before they're even done. ^__~ Love yall!

Reviews are always nice and make authoresses happy!

~Kate~