Au Revoir
Disclaimer: I have no claim on anything remotely connected with Criminal Minds
After a brief encounter, Emily's ready for a change in her life...
A/N: I hate that our beloved Paget Brewster left us once again, but I'll support her wherever she goes.
This is my first fic ever, and I'm honestly not much of a writer, there are way more talented people on here that I think are better writers. Not sure if I'll post another story because I'm iffy on my writing.
A big thanks to the lovely greengirl82 for not only beta-ing this for me, but giving me the idea and encouraging me to write this. Love ya.
"You never really leave a place or a person you love, part of them you take with you, leaving a part of yourself behind." Author Unknown
Emily groaned, waking up when the bright lights of the sun hit her. Covering her eyes with her arms, she tried to will herself to get up and open her eyes.
Rolling over onto her side she rubbed her hands over her face only to feel a set of hands wrap around her pulling her close.
She froze, and felt a wave of panic hit her like she never felt before. Looking down at the face of the man beside her, it was Hotch.
'Oh crap' Emily thought, 'Oh crap, oh crap. Way to go, Prentiss. You had to go out drinking with the team instead of staying at home, like usual.'
She looked down at the sheet covering her body, 'Maybe we only slept in the same bed.'
Lifting up the sheet, she internally groaned at her nude frame. She felt the man beside her stirring and all she wanted to do was grab her clothes and get the hell out of his apartment.
'You just had to go fall for the man whose dating someone else' she chastised herself, 'You should've just turned down JJ's offer of celebrating her engagement. Who the hell celebrates at a bar anyways?'
"Come back to bed" Hotch groaned, reaching up pulling the brunette next to him.
"Uh, Hotch?" she hesitantly said, watching the man's dark eyes open and stare at her.
"Emily?" Hotch said, looking at her dark eyes, and quickly scanning her body noticing that she was nude except for the sheet that was clutched to her small frame, "What happened?"
"I really don't know" she told him, wrapping the sheet around her as she got up, "But maybe we can just... I don't know, forget about this?"
Her heart broke as she told him that, but she didn't want to ruin his relationship with the brunette curator she knew he had been casually seeing.
"Emily" Hotch said, taking a deep breath, holding the blanket up as he grabbed his boxers, "We need to talk..."
Emily quickly grabbed her clothes rushing for the bathroom, "Later."
Hotch sighed, sitting on the edge of his bed reaching into his drawer he grabbed sweat pants and a shirt.
Looking up, he saw the bathroom door open, with Emily coming out grabbing her coat and purse.
"Emily, we need to talk about this" Hotch said, watching her tense at that, "We need to discuss what happened."
She slowly turned around and it pained him that he could read her face for any reaction.
"You don't have to worry about anything, Hotch" she said, "No one will ever find out about this from me."
Before he could say anything the brunette headed for the door and he quickly followed her to the living room.
He reached the door, placing his hand on it, "Emily, look at me. Look at me."
"I'm gonna go" she told him, with a sigh.
"I'm not angry with you" he told her, "But we really need to talk about this."
Before Hotch could speak, he heard his phone ringing and walked over to to answer it.
"Hotchner" he answered quickly, "We'll be there. I mean I'll be there."
Emily kept her eyes trained to the wall behind him, waiting for him to hang up, "We've got a case."
"All right" she said, opening the door, "See you at the BAU."
Emily took the empty seat beside JJ as the two returned home from their most recent case.
She had been on edge and unnerved for three days, knowing Hotch had been watching her throughout the case.
She knew that the awkward conversation would be happening soon. She was just grateful that she kept pairing herself up with everyone else but him.
Ever since that morning after wake up call, she knew that it was going to take a lot more then her compartmentalizing skills to box up this. She needed to get over her feelings for Hotch but she had no clue how.
And his constant, watchful eyes on her wasn't helping either. All it did was make her feel like a fish on display, like he was waiting for her to screw up.
"So Em, any plans tonight?" JJ asked, "Garcia sent me a text message for another girls night."
"What does Will think of that?" Emily teased, trying to keep her mind distracted from his presence.
The brunette agent could sense that was watching her, and had been watching her for awhile.
"Oh he said he didn't really mind" JJ teased, "Just as long as I don't come home too drunk."
Both women chuckled at that, while Reid huffed out, "Just don't expect me to baby sit you three and Henry again."
Emily exchanged a grin with her blonde friend before leaning forward ruffling Reid's hair in a playful manner making the team laugh.
"But you're so good at it" Emily teased the younger man, "Don't you like pampering the three of us?"
"Not as much as I dislike cleaning up projectile vomit" Reid joked back stunning the two female agents.
"Wow, someone picked up some quips today" Morgan joked, "Good for you, kid."
The two women leaned back talking about their evening plans while Hotch sat there, pretending to go over his case notes but in actuality keeping a close eye on Emily.
As the jet landed, the two women walked down the steps towards one of the Bureau issued SUVs waiting for Morgan when Emily heard her phone beep.
Pulling it out, she noticed a text message from Hotch, 'I need to see you. Tomorrow?'
She quickly replied, and shut the phone off.
"Who was that, your boyfriend?" JJ teased, looking at her brunette friend's mood changed, "Hey, I was just teasing."
"I know" Emily said with a smile, taking a deep breath, "So how about that drink?"
JJ's mood picked up at that, but vowed to herself to find out what was troubling her friend.
Emily got home from her girls night to find a surprise awaiting on her doorstep, "What are you doing here?"
"We need to talk" he told her, "Can I come inside?"
Hotch got into his car the next morning, with a thud pounding in his chest at the idea of seeing Emily.
He'd thought long and hard about his decision and he knew what he was going to do.
Pulling up to her condo, he turned off the ignition ready to get out when he saw her front door open and out came another man.
That made Hotch's stomach tighten, seeing Emily help the other man into his coat and hug him while the man kissed Emily's forehead.
He kept himself low in his car, watching the man walk across the front lawn towards his car, a black BMW.
Hotch watched Emily turn and go back into her condo and he pulled the keys out of the ignition. He made up his mind.
A fully clothed Emily opened the door surprised to see Hotch standing there, "Hey."
"May I come in?" he asked in an aloof tone, making her do a quick double take before nodding.
"Sure" she said, opening the door and letting him in, "Would you like coffee or something?"
He turned to face Emily, standing in the middle of the living room, "No thank you, I won't be here long. We need to talk about our encounter."
"Encounter?" she repeated, feeling her heart drop but kept her composure "Ok."
She could tell he was different then he was yesterday, somehow he was closing himself off. Building a wall between them.
"It was a mistake" he started, keeping his voice even, "One that I don't think either of us want to repeat again, right?"
"Right" she told him, a knot building in her stomach, "Is that all?"
"And I won't be telling Beth, since it meant nothing. So you don't have to worry about that" he said with a deep breath, "See you Monday."
"Have a good weekend" she told him, walking to the door and closing it behind her.
She heard the sound of his car drive off as she slinked to the ground closing her eyes, "It's ok."
Standing up, she exhaled making her way towards her cell phone, "Hey, its me. I've change my mind, I'll do it."
Six weeks since the heartbreaking talk Emily walked out of the elevator and towards her desk, she had very little to do now that she made up her mind.
She knew that this decision would hurt the friends she's grown to love like family and a few of them would take it exceptionally hard, but she needed to do it. Now more so then ever.
Setting her briefcase down, she took a good look around at the bullpen and bit her lip trying to maintain her composure. She saw Anderson walk by giving her a polite nod before walking up the catwalk to Hotch's office.
"Just a few more things to do today" she murmured to herself turning around to hear the boisterous laughter of her team.
"Conference room, Gumdrop" Garcia greeted as she made her way up the catwalk.
"Come on, Princess" Morgan said, wrapping an arm around the brunette, "You get to sit next to me and make fun of the kid here and his attempts at picking up women."
"I was not trying to pick up..." Reid started as they made their way into the conference room, "Oh shut up."
"Someone grew a backbone" Morgan teased.
Emily sat back watching the banter while JJ was sending out a text message when she looked up, "Boys behave."
"All right Garcia, what do we got?" Hotch asked taking the seat next to Emily and noticing her tense.
Hotch knew that things had been difficult between them. He tried to be more approachable but noticed that she kept herself closed off.
Hotch could sense something was off with her and he knew it had to do with their encounter.
"Well sir, it seems we've got a really icky one on our hands" Garcia said, flicking the slide, "A pregnant mother was kidnapped and murdered after delivering her baby."
Hotch noticed the way the brunette beside him grimace at that, but kept her control.
"And we've been invited in by the locals because another pregnant woman has gone missing" Garcia added, "And I've uploaded all the information..."
Emily's mind blanked at that, she tuned the others voices out as she looked down at the images of the mothers.
Hearing the horrific murder of pregnant women made her heart break and she felt like she was going to vomit, setting the Tablet down she turned next to Morgan beside her.
"You all right, Emily?" he asked, causing everyone to look at her.
"I just have a little headache" she said, looking at the others except for Hotch, "I'll be right back."
"Prentiss?" Hotch called out to her but she walked out.
Sitting in the break room, Emily inhaled, as she grabbed a bottled water when her cell phone rang.
"Hello" she asked, not looking at the caller id, "Hey."
Hotch walked through the bullpen concerned for his agent. He knew they all had their limits, but he'd never thought she'd be the one to break.
He paused seeing her sitting at the table with her head resting on it, but he saw her phone attached to her ear. As he was about to walk in he heard the warmth in her tone.
"Hey, don't worry" Emily said, "I miss you too, but I told you I'm going to see you soon."
He couldn't stand there anymore and he was about to walk in when he heard her say, "I love you too."
That made him stiffen his spine, he quickly walked into the break room, to hear her say, "I've got to go, bye."
"How are you feeling?" he asked, his voice professional, "If you need to step down from this case, I'm sure we can arrange for another agent to take your place."
"Uh, that's the thing, Hotch" Emily said, standing up, "I've spoken with Strauss and she agreed with me..."
"Agreed about what?" Hotch asked, raising an eyebrow, "What's wrong, Prentiss?"
"I'm leaving the BAU" she told him, "I'm actually transferring to another Bureau too."
"What?" he asked, "When did you make this decision? Where are you transferring to?"
"I'm going to the Los Angeles branch" Emily told him, "I'm transferring to the CJIS."
"The Criminal Justice Information Services Division?" he asked, "You're basically taking a desk job? Why?"
She shot him a look, "You of all people know that the CJIS is a valuable part of the Bureau and with my skills from here and the CIA they've accepted me."
"But why now?" he asked, "You've been back for awhile, why leave when you fought so hard to come back?"
"I need to start living my own life Hotch" she sighed, picking up her water bottle, "And being here at the BAU isn't where my heart is anymore. I mean I still love everyone here, but I need to find my own path and I have to do it somewhere else."
Hotch was silent as he watched Emily twist the cap on her water then asked, "Is this because of... you know?"
She raised her eyebrow at that, "No."
He looked doubtful but only asked, "When's your final day?"
"Today" she said quietly, watching his face freeze up at that, and he couldn't control the glare that he shot her.
"And when were you planning to tell the team, and me?" he asked harsher then intended.
"Before the end of the day" she said, watching him inhale sharply at that, "I mean barring the travel, I still would've told everyone."
His eyes diverted to the team gathering their belongings in the bullpen, "You're going to have to tell them now, we have a case we need to leave for."
"I know" she said, heading for the door, "I'm sorry it had to be this way, Hotch."
He watched her walk out and head for the middle of the bullpen, whispering, "Me too."
Reid smiled as he saw Emily walk over to the team, and he saw the forlorn look on her face, "Are still feeling sick?"
Emily shot him a smile, thinking about how she's going to miss his innocence.
Shaking her head, "I've some news that I need to share with you all."
"Are you getting married?" Garcia asked, giddy with excitement, while the rest of the team raised an eyebrow.
"Princess, you're seeing someone?" he asked, "Why didn't you tell us?"
Emily pursed her lips, shaking her head before taking a deep breath.
"Emily?" Reid asked, "Are you sure you're all right?"
"No I'm not getting married, two even if I was seeing someone you all know I value my privacy but no I'm not" she said, looking around at the team while Hotch leaning against a desk feeling relief at that, "And three, I'm fine Reid."
"So what do you have to tell us?" Dave asked looking from Emily to the sullen Hotch, his mind telling him this wasn't good at all.
"I'm leaving the BAU" Emily said watching her friends faces go from surprised, to shocked and anger, "I'm transferring to the L.A. Bureau."
"When?" Garcia asked.
"Today's my last day." Emily told the group.
"You're just leaving us?" Reid asked looking beyond hurt.
"What?" Morgan asked, looking over at Hotch, "Did you know about this?"
"Just found out myself" Hotch told the team, "It's her decision."
"Why are you leaving?" JJ asked, hearing Garcia sniffle at the news.
"I just feel it's time that I move on" she told the group, her heart breaking at the lost look in Reid's eyes, "I need to find my own future and it's not here anymore."
"Is it because of one us?" Reid asked, "Do you still feel like people aren't accepting you?"
"No" she said, shaking her head, pulling Reid into a hug, "It's not that, I swear. I just feel like I'm not needed here anymore."
"But we do need you, Emily" Reid pulled back at that, "I need you."
Emily cupped his cheeks, giving him a smile, "You're an excellent agent, Reid. Never doubt that. I believe in you."
Kissing him on the forehead, she felt Reid lightly shake at the tender action.
She turned to the hurt Morgan, "I want you to stop blaming yourself for not getting there in time, because I know you still do. I have faith in you, and I've never blamed you."
Morgan pulled her into a hug, whispering in her ear making her chuckle at his words, "Derek."
Emily turned to Garcia, "PG, please look at me."
"I can't I'm too mad at you" she said through her tears but still pulled Emily into a hug, "I can't lose you again."
"We'll keep in touch" Emily promised her, "As soon as everything settles down, I'll have you over for a girls night in L.A."
"That's not the same" Garcia said, pulling out of the hug, "Who else is going to give me advice?"
"JJ will" Emily told her with a smile.
"And how will I get my visitation rights with Sergio?" she asked, grasping at straws trying to dissuade the brunette from leaving.
"Do me a favor Garcia?" Emily asked, wiping the blonde's tears, "Fight for Kevin. Even if you're not ready to get married, fight for him. He's loves you and love is a hard thing to find let alone hold on to."
Hotch folded his arms across his chest, taking in her words. His own heart breaking in the process.
"Jayje" Emily said, pulling the blonde to her, "You know I'm sorry that I'm leaving, after everything you've done for me."
"I've never regretted it, Em" JJ told her hugging her, "Not even once."
"I envy you" Emily told her, "You got a family out of this, with Will and Henry. Please make sure to take time for them, because I'd hate for the BAU to cause another casualty in the romance department."
JJ chuckled, "I promise."
Turning lastly to Dave, she gave him a big smile, "I think I'll miss you most of all Pops."
Dave pulled the brunette into his arms, "I'd like to think that if I had a daughter, she'd be like you."
Wrapping her arms around his neck, whispering to him, "You already do, Dad."
"I'm going to miss you, kiddo" he told her softly, "You're one of the only people I can actually tolerate here on a good day and bad day."
"I don't think I have any advice for you, so I'll leave you with some parting words" Emily said, "Tenere d'occhio il nostro team. Guardare fuori per loro, per me."
"I promise" Dave chuckled, dropping a kiss on her forehead, "Sarai sempre la mia bambina."
"Ti amo, Papa" Emily replied.
Turning to her desk, she opened the bottom drawer grabbing her only belonging she left behind, the team photo and shoved it in her bag.
"Well I guess this is it" Emily said, before standing in front of Hotch, she extended her hand, "It's been a pleasure being on your team, Hotch."
The team leader knew he'd regret not giving her a proper send off, so he pulled her into a hug startling not only themselves but the team who turned to give them their privacy.
"Take care, Pren... Emily" Hotch said, pulling back and giving her a smile, "You have a long and happy life, you've earned it."
"Thank you, Hotch" Emily said returning the smile "For everything."
"No parting words?" he asked.
Biting her lip, she raised an eyebrow, "Smile more."
That made him laugh lightly, "Take care."
Shouldering her bag, she headed for the glass doors to the BAU and turned back to stare once more at her former team. She could see that they were genuinely happy for her but they regretted seeing her leave.
Walking into the elevator, she looked at each face one last time stopping on Hotch's, she saw the sadness behind his eyes and took a deep breath as the doors closed separating them forever.
Hotch walked into his office grabbing his go bag, his heart breaking as he recalled his reason for maintaining a professional relationship with her when all along she was single.
He hated himself now for his lie about still seeing Beth.
"Hey it's me" Emily said into her phone as she got into her car, "I'm on my way to the airport. Did the moving company get there yet?"
"Yeah, they came this afternoon" Declan said, "How long until you get here?"
"I should be there really early in the morning" Emily told him, "We can't wait to see you."
Declan laughed, "The baby isn't even here yet."
Emily placed a hand on her stomach, "Well he or she is still excited to see his big brother."
"I can't wait to see you too" Declan said excitedly, "Tom, showed me the adoption papers."
"Yep, you're officially stuck with me now kid" Emily said smiling, "And since he'll be stationed in London, it's looks like it's just the three of us, buddy. I'll call you as soon as I get to the airport."
Emily placed her cell phone back in her bag, and glanced at the team photo. Her hand tracing over the image of her and Hotch standing beside each other.
"I really do want you to be happy Hotch" Emily said, wiping a tear, "And if she makes you happy, who am I to stand in the way with our baby?"
She knew it was a selfish thing to do, an easy way out but if she told him about the baby he'd deny himself his happiness and all she ever wanted was for him to be happy. Even if it wasn't with her.
Placing a hand on her stomach, she vowed to be a great mother to this child and Declan.
Because she had to find her own way in life. One that wasn't at the BAU anymore.
"Until this moment, I never understood how hard it was to lose something you never had." Author Unknown
THE END
Well what'd ya think? This was my first fic, remember. Any comments is appreciated. Thanks.