A/N: Hey, remember when I said I was going to post this in like a month or two? Yeah, that didn't happen—I mean, good lord, it's only been like two days! This is the direct sequel to "Skyfall" and you cannot read this without having read the other.
Inspired by: "Towers," by Little Mix.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.
Warning: suicidal thoughts and implications, mentions of suicide attempts, past trauma, and death.
Prologue
"There are reports of an explosion in Midtown Manhattan."
"Police indicate that the explosives went off at the construction site for the 'New and Improved' Avengers Tower."
"There are suggestions that the Avengers were targets in what some are calling a pre-meditated attack."
"Police reveal that there were people inside at the time of the explosion including renowned billionaire, Tony Stark."
"Robert Lewinski, the supervisor of the Tower's construction, confirms that he, along with several workers, were in the building with Stark prior to the explosion."
"Lewinski informs our correspondent at the scene that Stark calmly and strategically removed everyone from the building. Stark was the only one remaining in the building at the time of the explosion."
"A witness reports that Lewinski and his team had safely made it to the ground when the first explosion went off."
"Police confirm that the only causality, in what they are calling 'an act of terrorism,' is billionaire and inventor, Tony Stark."
"A quote from Robert Lewinski has surfaced. He states, "Mr. Stark protected us in a time of panic and horror, sacrificing his own life so that we could continue to live ours. Mr. Stark died a hero and should be thought of as nothing less."
Natasha watches the various news reports as JARVIS clicks through the channels, eyes wide, mouth hanging open slightly as she holds the edge of the couch in a vice grip. She's shaking, unable to process what she's seeing. The team has been getting better since Steve's death—Tony was getting better. He was smiling, laughing from what Pepper and Rhodey told her, she had just spoken with him in person an hour ago . . . and now he's gone. Just like that. Just like Steve.
"I let him go," she says, words falling from her lips.
"Nat?" a voice—Clint—asks. He's sitting beside her, close enough that she can feel the heat radiating off of him.
"I let him go, Clint. He was still in recovery and I let him leave the mansion alone," she says voice distant. She can't even begin to explain how terrified the team was—how terrified she was—when Pepper told them of Tony's suicide attempt. It's as if the reality of how their friend tried to take his own life, brought them all back into reality, making them realize how they've faded apart and returned to old habits. They're stronger as a team and they had almost forgotten it until that had nearly lost another one of their own.
They had stayed at the hospital with him—all of them, afraid that if they left or a moment (or even blinked) he was going to be gone. When Tony was released, their fears worsened when he refused to leave his room so they took turns checking up on him throughout the day and night and Pepper had JARVIS monitor his vital signs, which he continuously ran live and sent the data to everyone's phones. Some nights Natasha laid awake, watching Tony's vital signs on her phone, body tense and ready to move at a moment's notice if something changed—
"Hey, hey, Natty-Cat, I need you to breathe with me," Clint says, tearing Natasha out of her musing (her guilt). She looks down at her friend; the archer is now sitting in front of her, hands warm and comforting as his thumbs rotate in a circle on her knees.
Natasha nods as she registers Clint's words, taking a breath (Inhale. One . . . two . . . exhale) before meeting her friend's gaze, his face grim and pained. She tears her eyes away from him before scanning the room. Bruce is sitting in the chair next to her, eyes screwed shut, with a green tint to his skin. Thor is sitting on the other couch, expression pinched, his eyes focused on the screen and mouth drawn in a tight line. Rhodey's still at work, Bucky's been missing for a month, and Pepper—
A sob from the direction of the entryway causes Nat's head to whip to the side. Pepper is standing in the doorway, red eyed with fresh tear marks along her cheeks. Her normally pristine tan blazer is rumpled and crinkled, her heels removed and phone clutched tightly in her left hand. Her bottom lip is wobbling and she looks as if she might start crying again at any moment.
"I called his voicemail seventeen times," Pepper says, brokenly, a tear sliding down her face. "Just to hear him speak."
Wordlessly, Nat slips out from underneath Clint's grip, crossing the room and wrapping Pepper in her arms. The other woman crumbles against her, pressing her face into Natasha's neck, shoulders shaking violently and tears dotting the assassin's skin.
The front door opens and shuts before Rhodey comes into view, uniform disarrayed and expression screwed into a grim mask while his eyes reveal the torment and heartbreak he's experiencing. He looks between Natasha and Pepper, the former keeping her eyes locked on Rhodey's face. "So, you guys . . ."
Natasha licks her lips in order to disguise her own mouth wavering. "Yeah."
Rhodey nods, his mask cracking as he steps up behind Pepper and wraps himself around her back, hands resting on Natasha's sides. She hears Clint come up behind her, warm weight pressing into her back, arms going around her and Pepper before placing his hands on Rhodey's biceps. Nat listens as Thor and Bruce approach their huddle as well, curling themselves around Clint and pressing the archer further against her back.
Nat feels tears prickling at her eyes and she sniffles, trying to hold them back. Her efforts are useless and she buries her face into Pepper's shoulder, clinging to the woman as she allows herself to grieve.
That night, the Avengers are sitting on the living room floor, piled on top of each other as a movie plays in the background that no one is watching. It's as if they're caught in a trance that cannot be broken no matter how much they want it too. Natasha sighs and shifts so she can rest her head on Clint's chest, counting the man's every breath as a way to assure her that he's still alive and with her. She's already lost two people she considered dear friends even though she never admitted it aloud (she regrets never saying anything) and she doesn't want to lose anymore.
A knock on the door startles the team out of their trance. Natasha lifts her head from Clint's chest squinting her eyes before the person knocks again. Assured that the noise wasn't her imagination, she slowly rises to her feet, noting that her teammates move to do the same. After everyone had finished grieving, they've been moving throughout the mansion as if they're glued together. The only time they separate is when someone needs to use the bathroom, but they have JARVIS monitor the person until they return to the group.
Nat leads the way into the living room but Clint is the one who opens the door. The person on the other side is Bucky, eyes red rimmed, shifting awkwardly with Steve's shield strapped loyally to his back as if his friend is still watching his six. He looks exhausted and unkempt, clothes torn and covered with dirt stains, dark circles lingering underneath of his eyes and stubble growing in on his chin. She wants to scold him for not keeping up with his grooming (like Steve would), but she can't find the words. The most important thing to her is that he's alive and home.
"Oh thank God," Clint says relived, voicing her thoughts as he pulls Bucky into a hug, the other man going willingly and wrapping his arms around Clint in return.
After a few moments, Clint releases Bucky from his embrace and steps out of the doorway, allowing the other man to enter the mansion. The brunet takes his time wandering between each of the Avengers and giving them a bear hug and an apology, to which they dismiss the latter. They formally introduce him to Pepper, and he goes to give her a handshake but she shakes her head and wraps him in her arms, telling him that she's glad he returned.
Bruce ushers everyone into the kitchen when their reunion is finished, commenting on how none of them have eaten yet and how it looks like Bucky hasn't gone near a meal for the better part of the month. He's gone into mother hen mode and it makes Natasha want to scream because Steve used to be that person for them.
Everyone gathers around the kitchen table except for Bruce and Nat—the former rummaging through the fridge looking for something for them to eat while the latter starts a pot of coffee. She leans against the counter watching the mixture drip into the pot while she listens to the quiet conversation the others are having on the opposite side of the room.
"James, if I may inquire, why exactly did you leave us?" Thor asks, both curious and concerned.
Bucky takes a deep breath looking disturbed. "I left because of Winter Soldier. After I got my memories back, he was dormant until—until Steve died. I saw him go down during that last battle and I just—froze. Then, he took over."
"Winter Soldier appeared because you were emotionally compromised?" Rhodey asks voice gentle yet firm.
"I think so. I was in no condition to fight and—I think he was trying to protect me," Bucky says, furrowing his brow, turning his gaze downwards to stare at the table.
"Pardon me for asking, and you don't have to answer this, but exactly how much to you remember," Pepper asks, cautiously as she rests her now clasped hands on the surface of the table.
Bucky raises his eyes from the table and looks at Pepper. "Long story short, I remember it all—what I did as Winter Soldier as well as my life before and during the war."
Everyone falls silent right as the coffee finishes. Natasha pulls down a glass mug from the cabinet above her head, pouring a hearty amount of the liquid drink into it before adding four spoons of sugar. She walks over to the table and sets the cup down in front of Bucky. His eyes slide up to meet hers and she can see the years of pain, torture, and heartbreak in that gaze. He looks twenty-nine and ninety-nine and in that moment, Natasha vows not to let anything else happen to him or the rest of the team ever again.
She holds his gaze as a ghost of a smile crosses her lips. "Welcome home."
Sunlight filters through the room the next morning and Natasha shifts, opening her eyes only to immediately close them. She yawns and slowly slides her lids open again, blinking rapidly until her eyes adjust to the brightness of the light. The redhead takes a moment to determine her position, noting that she's curled on the living room carpet in front of the couch. She furrows her brow in confusion as to why she's sleeping her when the events of what happened yesterday run through her mind, her body immediately tensing as a painful numbness prickles over her skin. She lifts her head off the ground in a panic, eyes scanning the room for her teammates.
Clint is laying sprawled out behind her, face pressed into the carpet, mouth wide open with drool dribbling from the corner of his lips. Pepper is laying on one of the couches with a red and yellow blanket draped over her frame, her head resting on a pillow next to Rhodey's thigh. Rhodey is sitting up straight on the end of the couch, head tipped back and hands resting in his lap. Bruce is curled up in the chair next to Rhodey and Pepper, a novel held loosely in his hand and his reading glasses still perched on his nose. Thor is in the second chair next to Bruce, reclined backwards and softly snoring. Bucky is lying on his back on the second sofa, clinging to Steve's shield like a child would their favorite stuffed animal.
They're all wearing the same clothes from yesterday, none of them bothering to change after dinner. Instead, they returned to the living room and attempted to settle in for the night. The redhead scans over the room one last time before she forces her body to relax after confirming that her teammates are present and safe except for Tony and Steve. She forces that thought from her mind and moves to lie back down, pillowing her head on her arms and closing her eyes.
"Miss Potts, sorry to disturb you, but Agent Coulson is on the line"
Natasha cracks open one of her eyes and winces at the pain in her neck; she must have fallen back asleep. She moves her body into a sitting position and rolls her shoulders, sighing when her neck pops. The redhead looks around, noting that Thor and Bucky are unbothered by JARVIS's announcement. She's surprised that Bucky is still asleep especially since from what Steve told her, he's been having a lot of trouble sleeping but has been getting better. He must be truly exhausted since he didn't even shift his position.
Bruce is awake, but still has his eyes closed. Rhodey is fully awake and alert, speaking with Pepper who appears disoriented. Clint shifts and sits up next to her, his eyes still closed. He yawns before leaning over and resting his head against her shoulder, body warm and heavy against her side. She frowns and lightly shoves at him, listening to the man whine and burrow his face into her neck.
"Get off—I don't want you to drool on me."
Clint grumbles something under his breath that sounds a lot like "Fuck you, Nat."
"JARVIS, I'm here." Pepper's voice rings out a few minutes after Clint had fallen silent. She sounds alert, her tone levelled and firm.
"Agent Coulson is on the line," JARVIS repeats.
"Patch him through," Pepper says, linking her hand with Rhodey's as if to draw strength from the other man.
"Pepper?" Coulson says, voice filling the silence that had fallen over the room.
"Hey Phil," she responds, a tight smile on her lips.
"How are you and everyone holding up?"
"We're . . . together," she responds. And she's right. Natasha knows they aren't going to recover from their friends' death and it will be a long time before they start to feel like they can function in their everyday lives, let alone in a battle. For now, all the Avengers can do is lean on each other and stay together- as a team.
"How's Nick doing?" Pepper says, changing the subject.
"He's managing," Coulson responds. "He's personally taken command over the investigation into Tony's death while Agent Hill and I have been keeping the press busy."
Pepper grips Rhodey's hand tighter and squeezes her eyes shut, fighting off a wave of tears. After a few moments, she opens her eyes. "Phil, I can't even begin to thank you and everyone for all that you're doing."
"Tony was a good person and an important part of our organization. It's the least we can do."
Pepper tries to hum in response, but it comes off as a pained whine.
"Is there anything at else I can do for you?" Coulson asks in a soft tone.
"Can you arrange a vacation for us?" Pepper says, half joking.
"I'll see what I can do," he says, his voice so earnest and serious that Pepper has to bite down on her lower lip to keep from sobbing at his generosity.
The rest of the conversation fades into the background as Nat ponders over everything she just heard. Clint moves to lie on his back and she takes the opportunity to slide to her feet and head into the kitchen aware of the archer's eyes on her the entire way. The redhead immediately goes to the fridge; she opens it up and grabs a coke (Steve usually drank coke—Bucky and Tony would make fun of him by calling him a True American boy. Steve would frown and call them both idiots.). She shuts the door and hops onto the counter, popping open the top of her drink and taking a large slip. Nat purses her lips and holds the can between her clasped hands as she thinks over the past day.
"JARVIS," Natasha whispers as she dangles her legs over the counter top.
"Mistress Romanov?"
"We never asked how you feel about Tony," she says. They asked about Steve—well, Tony asked about how JARVIS felt about Steve's passing while the others listened without making it obvious that they were. She feels ashamed that they didn't take a moment yesterday to ask how the A.I. felt about his creator dying.
JARVIS remains silent for a moment as if to gather their thoughts. "I am deeply saddened and troubled by sir's passing, but at the same time, I could not have been more proud. For as long as I know, sir did not believe that he was a hero, yet he died doing the one thing he never thought he would become."
She never thought of it like that. Pepper mentioned that Tony was always reluctant to call himself a hero despite how offended he was that his persona was considered for the Avengers Initiative and not the man himself.
"Despite sir's passing, I will continue to perform my duties as I was programmed until I am no longer required of service."
"We're always going to need you JARVIS," Nat says, reassuringly. "You keep us sane."
JARVIS whirls. "Thank you, Mistress Romanov."
That evening, Bruce makes pizza.
Pizza was always an Avenger's favorite (other than Kristyn's) and Natasha can't even begin to describe how many times they've started a Pizza Food Fight while Steve had a heart attack in the corner about how casually they waste food.
Bruce sets two of the four large pizzas—one pepperoni and one meat—on the table. Clint licks his lips and rubs his hand together, gazing over the food with a crazed look in his eyes. He reaches for a slice when Bruce slaps his hand with a spatula. The archer yelps and Pepper laughs— a sound Natasha is glad to hear from the other woman, who looks broken when she thinks no one is looking.
Natasha always is.
"What the hell was that for?" Clint protests.
"We don't eat until everyone is present," Bruce responds calmly, setting the spatula down on the table.
"Everyone is present."
"James is not," Thor responds.
They had silently decided after Fury's phone call that they needed to stop moving as a unit as soon as possible so that they don't grow completely dependent on each other and have problems separating if the need arises. Most of the team remained in the living room anyway, but Bucky slipped away as soon as he realized that no one was going to force him to remain there. According to JARVIS, he was still in the mansion and everyone is assuming he just needed some alone time.
"I'll go and look for him," Natasha volunteers, sliding her chair back and rising from her seat.
She exits the kitchen and walks into the atrium, pondering on where the other man might be. "JARVIS, where's Bucky?"
"He's in his room, Mistress Romanov."
"Thank you." Nat takes the elevator to the third level of the mansion and navigates her way through the corridors until she reaches Bucky's room. She knocks on the door twice and receives no answer.
She frowns. "Bucky, I respect your privacy, but I'm coming in anyway." Nat turns the doorknob and nearly gasps at what she sees.
Bucky is sitting on his bed, shirtless, metal arm gleaming in the low lamp light, hair falling over his face. He's turning over a silenced pistol in his hands, caressing the gun with his metal fingers and Nat can only imagine what his face looks like. A cold feeling washes over Nat as she has flashbacks to when Tony nearly died. She'll never forget how Pepper sounded when she screamed "Nat, he tried to kill himself" over the phone.
Panicked, she crosses the room and rips the gun from his grip. "What the hell are you doing?" she demands, wordsescaping her lips without her even realizing it. The pistol is heavy in her hands and she tightens her grip on the weapon when she realizes that the safety is not on.
Nat must have caught Bucky off guard if his wide-eyed, startled expression is anything to go by. He probably wasn't expecting anyone to come upstairs and interrupt him and dammit, Nat is glad that she got here when she did.
"Natasha, give me my gun," Bucky says slowly, holding out his hand for the weapon.
She stands her ground. "No."
The man frowns, not liking Natasha's answer. Good—he wasn't supposed to. His body tenses and the redhead knows he's going to try and get the weapon back by force and she's right for less than a second later, Bucky lunges forward. Natasha easily side steps the other man watching as he barely catches himself before running into his closet at full sprint. She darts to the other side of the room and notices Steve's shield sitting on the bed. Bucky follows her line of site and must have the same idea she does for he rushes towards the bed.
She throws the gun to the side, thankful that it doesn't go off and runs towards the bed. Nat reaches the bed first, grabbing the edge of the shield with both hands and swinging it. The object connects to Bucky's head with a sickening sound before he collapses to the ground in a crumpled heap, unconscious.
Natasha licks her lips in an effort to get control of her panting and full body tremors. She tosses the shield back onto the bed and kneels down beside Bucky's head, gazing down at the man with a pained look on her face. She brushes some of his hair away from his forehead and waits for JARVIS to alert the others, not knowing what else she can do.