Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter
This is a one-shot
" -By Order Of-
THE HIGH INQUISITOR OF HOGWARTS
Teachers are hereby banned from giving students
any information that is not strictly related to the subject
they are paid to teach.
The above is in accordance with
Educational Decree Number Twenty-Six.
Signed:
Dolorus Jane Umbridge
HIGH INQUISITOR
This latest decree had been the subject of a great number of jokes among the students. Lee Jordan had pointed out to Umbridge that by the terms of the new rule she was not allowed to tell Fred and George off for playing Exploding Snap in the back of the class.
"Exploding Snap's got nothing to do with Defense Against the Dark Arts, Professor! That's not information related to your subject!" "
- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, JKR
AN/: This fan fiction is in the format of a play inspired from the above text. Enjoy.
1) Fred and George can't vanish each other's wands since Ollivander puts protective charms on the wands he makes to prevent banishing and vanishing charms from working.
2) Lupin didn't intentionally try to kill Harry, but he still did, and was still seriously injured.
Educational Decree Number Twenty-Six
Professor Umbridge"Good afternoon class" (Pleasantly)
Class: "Good afternoon Professor Umbridge." (Miserably)
Professor Umbridge: "Wands away." (Pleasant, but looks annoyed)
(Fred and Georgespend a few minutes trying to vanish each other's wand 1
At the same time) Professor Umbridge: "Now, if you will open your books to page 627 and read cha- Mr. Weasleys!" (Bewildered)
Fred: "Actually my name's George; he's Fred." (Points thumb at George.)
Professor Umbridge: "Well you best get in your correct seats, 5 points from Gryffindor."
Fred: "I'm just joking, I am Fred."
George: "Blimey Professor, I never thought you'd fall for that again."
Professor Umbridge: "Yes… well, 5 more points for Gryffindor. What is it with Gryffindors and lying?"
George: (loudly): "Hey Fred, have you noticed that all the Defense Against the Dark Arts professors always try to kill Harry Potter?" 2
Fred (Equally as loud"Who couldn't notice that, George? But have you noticed that they all get severely injured or killed every time they try it?"
George (fading out"Merlin's Beard! Maybe there's a curse on the position."
Fred (excited"Set by You-Know-Who, himself!"
Lee Jordan (butting in" -Or Snape…" (twins give him a weird look)
".. Following You-Know-Who's orders, of course."
(Fred takes out Exploding Snap cards and deals them out)
Professor Umbridge (talking over Fred and Lee Jordan)"Hem, hem, as I was saying , turn to page 627 and read chapter 12." (10 second pause) "Remember Your essay from Chapter 11 is do next time you're in this class. I'm also assigning the vocabulary in chapter 12 to be d-" (stern glare at twins)
George: "Ha! I got a dragon; watch out Fred!"
Professor Umbridge: "Mr. Weasleys! This is Defense Against the Dark Arts, not play time! Pay Attention!"
Fred: "This is Defense?"
George: "I thought it was History of Magic!"
Professor Umbridge: "That is enough! You will NOT be playing these silly games in my class! You will be reading this wonderful Ministry approved book." (Shakes a copy of the text book at them)
Fred: "Ministry approved?"
George: "For what?"
Fred: "Squibs?"
George: " Wizards not old enough for a wand?"
Professor Umbridge: "Sile-"
George: "Oh! Professor Umbridge?!"
Professor Umbridge: "What?!"
Fred: "Exploding Snap is approved by the Ministry."
George: "It says so right here." (Points to the Ministry Seal on the card box)
Professor Umbridge (Sweetly: "Yes, it is approved by the Ministry, (Near hysterical) BUT NOT IN MY CLASS!! 50 p-"
Lee Jordan: "Oh, then Exploding Snap's got nothing to do with Defense Against the Darks Arts, Professor! That's not information related to your subject!"
Professor Umbridge (in a hysterical crazed rageI have had ENOUGHof your utter NONSENSE!! Jordan! Detention for a week will teach you well! As for you.. (seething)"
Fred: "Weasleys?"
Professor Umbridge: "Weasleys! You are much too stubborn. Oh yes…. I think a month of detentions might teach you… if not, you can always go for another month."
George: "And then what Professor?"
Professor Umbridge: "CLASS DISMISSED!!! WEASLEYS, after class. NOW!"
(Children talk amongst themselves, with worry, nervous laughing, and mockery of Umbridge as they exit the classroom)
End
1) Fred and George can't vanish each other's wands since Ollivander puts protective charms on the wands he makes to prevent banishing and vanishing charms from working.
2) Lupin didn't intentionally try to kill Harry, but he still did, and was still seriously injured.