I woke up early, trying very hard to not wake Dimitri up. I don't know why I'm trying this hard. I guess I just want to do this alone. I got dressed and left our apartment, stopping to buy flowers.

I know where I'm going isn't where he was buried, but I'm making it his 'memorial'. Somewhere the gang and I can go that's at court. It's nice and quiet, and out of view. I'm not sure who all knows it is there, but I know it's there, and that's good enough.

If you hadn't already guessed, it's been a year since Mason's death. (I'm pretty sure it isn't today, I just had this idea. Lol)

I looked around as I arrived. It was a nice place for when you had a moment and needed to think. It was a cute little stream surrounded by trees. The sound of running water filled the space.

There was a spot right by the stream that was perfect for sitting. It allowed you to rest your feet in the water and lean against a tree if you wanted to.

Today, that was just what I did. I sat down, slipped off my flip flops, and slid my feet into the cold water.

The flowers I got were bright and colorful daisies. I laid them beside me, not ready to use them quite yet.

I sat in silence for what seemed like a long time. I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what. So, after a little while, I opted for a greeting.

"Hey, Mase," I said. From there, the rest just came out.

"Can you believe it's been a year?" I paused. "I can't."

I gave out a snort. "So much has gone on and keeps going on. It's only been a year."

I waited. I don't know what for, though. It might have been for a response, or maybe even to just see Mason as a ghost.

I'm not shadow-kissed anymore, so I guess I should have realized that that would never happen. A girl can hope, though . . . .

I started tearing up, getting lost in my thoughts.

"I'm so sorry," I cried out. It wasn't fair.

"I died again," I told him, as though I was catching him up on the latest news.

"I died, not once, but twice. Yet, here I am right now. How does that happen? How is it that I can die twice and still be here, and you die once, but you're still gone? I guess this proves that life isn't fair."

I've learned that over and over again. Life isn't fair and it doesn't seem to care what anyone else thinks.

"People have told me many times that it wasn't my fault, and I know that you believe that, but I still feel like it is. I guess the feeling doesn't go away."

I froze for a second at what I realized.

"Or, maybe it is my fault. I'm bad luck . . . ."

The tears started coming faster.

"Anyone who's around me is in danger," I started.

"Roza," Dimitri said as he walked towards me. I jumped up and backed away.

"No, stay away from me! Please!" I begged him, but he just kept coming closer.

"Please, Roza, listen to me. It's not your fault," he told me in a calming voice.

"Yes, it is! Something bad has happened to everyone who has been in contact with me."

He was going a little bit faster than I was and caught up to me. I struggled, but he kept him arms strong around me. Realizing I wasn't getting out of his grip, I gave up and fell to the ground.

He sat us down and pulled me onto his lap. I cried into his shoulder.

"It's okay, Roza. Everything is okay," he whispered into my ear, which was followed by soothing Russian words.

I pulled back to look into his eyes.

"No, it's not Dimitri. You have to realize that."

"Explain to me, Roza. Tell me how everything is your fault."

I took a deep breath. "Something hugely bad has happened to everyone close to me."

I eyed Dimitri, seeing if he was going to interrupt me, but he was waiting patiently for me to explain.

"Lissa's parents died, Mason was kidnapped and murdered, Eddie was kidnapped and drunken from, Mia and Christian were kidnapped and tortured, you were turned into strigoi, your whole family thought they had lost a family member, I broke Adrian's heart, and Sydney got in trouble by the alchemists," I listed off. I had to catch my breath near the end.

Dimitri kissed my head. "Oh, Roza. None of those were your fault."

"But they were," I insisted, "At each and every one of those, I was the cause, or I was there to witness."

"You weren't the cause, and just because you witnessed them all doesn't mean that they are your fault."

Looking into his eyes, I could see he was right, but it was hard to not feel like those were my fault.

Suddenly, Dimitri picked us up and pulled me with his to where I was sitting originally. He bent down to get something, and I was curious as to what it was. He stood up, and I saw the daisies in his hand. I had absolutely forgotten about those.

He let go of my hand and gave me a daisy.

"Here," he said. "This represents one thing you feel guilty for. As you toss it in the stream, imagine tossing the guilt away."

I stood there staring at him. Did he really believe that this would work? Well, I might as well try.

"Okay, I will-"

"But?" He asked, knowing there was a catch.

"But, you have to do it too."

I expected him to argue at least a little, to prove that it didn't really work, but that's not what happened.

All he did was say, "Okay," as he pulled out another daisy.

Standing right beside me, he asked, "Together?"

Staring at him for a couple seconds more, I nodded my head. "Always," I said, grasping his wrist that was holding the bouquet, seeing as his hand was full.

"3. . . 2 . . . 1," he counted down. On one, we both tossed our daisies in. Surprisingly, it worked. I felt a little better.

Maybe it was the day that overwhelmed me. Or, maybe Dimitri's crazy idea actually worked.

All I can say is that that was how the day went. We both tossed in daisies for each guilt, until there were no daisies left.

I can say that I did feel a lot better by the time we finished. Leaving in Dimitri's arms made me feel that much better.

I don't know why I didn't want to wake Dimitri. But I can tell you that this proves that he is always there when I need him most.

We stopped by Eddie's before going home, and, after a nice meal, we slept soundly.

Good bye, Mason.