Disclaimer:

I don't own Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles, Fay D. Flourite or Kurogane all rights go to the creators "Clamp." I don't get any profit from this.

Autors Note:

When I started this fanfic I decided to made it around the Peacemaker Kurogane crew and Shinpachi was the main character, but then I started to think, and while thinking I reached the conclusion that it was a bad move keeping the fanfic that way if I wanted my story to be read.

I started to think which would be, between my favorite, the anime character that had the same charisma as Shinpachi so I would keep on writing the fanfic. I decided after a lot of thinking that Fay D. Flourite was the right one, so here it is.

Well last but not least a very important information: English isn't my first language, I speak Spanish, so if you see grammatical errors please let me know and tell me how to amend the mistake.

Without anything to state anymore I hope you enjoy the fanfic.

Thanks~

~ o ~

REPLACEMENT.

By Lemoni~

I have tried so hard my whole life for nothing. I knew it from the beginning that I wasn't the kind of person that makes the sky shine with my presence. My existence means pain for everyone, I know, I'm quite aware of that, but even with that knowledge I was selfish enough and didn't end it for the sake of all the ones I love. I'm sorry... I just wanted to feel loved once, I just wanted to smile without hurting everyone else, I... I really don't have an excuse for my selfish behavior. If I have one more minute, I would love to give you... all of you a long moment to hurt me, hurt me and return me all the pain I put all of you through. I would let you all to make me bleed and maybe when my life is slowly drifting away I would see all of you smiling, knowing you did the right thing, you destroyed a selfish monster that was allowed to make so much pain and never was stopped. But, I know all of you, you're so kind, so loving, so understanding, even with a monster like me that doesn't deserve it... and you won't kill me, and that makes me so sad 'cause all of you'll carry your pain through all your lives and all of that is going to be my fault and all you're going to do is see me with your kinds eyes... if it has any meaning I'm really, really sorry.

- o -

Yuii was just looking at the sky, just trying to understand why his father didn't like him, maybe he was really an offense to all that was good. He sighed maybe if he worked really hard in the rice harvest his father would look at him and tell him how he did a good job... yeah right, he was deluding himself once again, he knew that his father did all the hard work, after all his brother needed many things; shoes, clothes, education, toys, food, nothing of that were free.

Food... his stomachache gave a loud and painful growl remembering him that he hadn't eaten yet... The old bread and leftovers hadn't been enough, but he know that he was just a glutton. He remembers the day he asked his father for more food, his father told him that he was lucky to get anything from his family, and his back reminded him of the pain a selfish desire like wanting more food can cause. The horrible and large whip lacerations run across his back reminding him of his position, he never forgets he's the evil twin now, but don't misunderstood, his father really is a good man. No don't get him wrong, he isn't delusional about the beatings, he knows they are not an act of love... but he knows that his father is an excellent person, he just have to deal with a blockhead like him and that would put anyone in a bad mood.

His father was a great citizen, a perfect neighbor, a valuable community asset, a loving father and sometime ago a loving husband. The devotion he puts to make anyone life better is something to be recognized and respected. He would help without distinctions; poor, rich, man, woman, religious, atheists, young or old, he would always try to help them to the best of his abilities. He really was a generous man, and that generosity, that habit of give without coercion, was extended to his family. His twin Fay lived in heaven and was safe and warm, that's what really mattered, bluntly put if he could wish for anybody, and he means "anybody" in the world to be his father, without seconds thoughts, he would choose him again.

Another angry growl made him abandon his thoughts, his stomachache really was getting worse... if he goes to sleep right now there will be no problem but if he stays awake a little more it will be to painful to let him sleep, but right now that didn't matter, he was in the middle of a dream, away from the cruel reality... his family looked so happy inside the house... he just needed to see them a little more, just a little more. After all they were celebrating his brother's birthday... he was here to give him his present, but he wasn't so sure anymore, the two of them where so happy, he knows that if he steps in there the mood will really drop and, look!, the cake candles are burning! Gosh!, another growl from his stomach, why couldn't his damn stomach cooperate, they're going to catch them if he keeps doing that... and... did he talk about his stomach in third person!? He's starting to suspect that he may be crazy.

The sky is thundering now, icy rain is about to fall and his stomach gives another loud, angry growl but... he just need a few seconds more, his twin brother is about to blow out the candles he can't, for dear life, lose that special moment of his other self. He's making his wishes right now, and the smile he's wearing is so beautiful... really a proud son of her mother, with a kind smile, for a moment he looks so alike their mother, even thought he knows that's impossible, 'cause he looks like himself since both of them are identical twins, the two sides of a mirror.

For a moment he forgets he's supposed to be hidden but that smile, he wish he could smile like him and his mother, he wish... he wish he hadn't been born at all... suddenly the happy picture is snatched from his sight; his father is in the window. He should have stayed hidden. His eyes widen open in fear when he looks his father's face. He's furious, he can feel the bloody promise of an inhuman punishment, and then he listens Fay calling his father with a worried tone. Without words, without sparing a glance he closes the curtain and tell him in a gentle voice that everything is ok, that he thought he saw something but it was nothing. In that moment his face feels wet, the thunder is no longer a sound in the distance, is in his head, the sky is falling, the cold rain is hitting him, wetting his blond dirty hair and crappy clothes, making him feel cold and he smiles, 'cause, for a moment, he believed he was crying.

- o -

To recall what happened the day after his twins' birthday would be an act of masochism, so he simply limps to the rice field to start once again his job journey, the burning in his legs, arms and back are becoming a minor pain and he has to be grateful that he isn't crippled or he would be a burden for his family; but the thoughts aroused by living in that short dream are troubling him. He tries to make those thoughts to stop making noise, transforming them in a buzzing sound in his head, but his brain won't cooperate and the numbness in his hearth is hurting him, perhaps his brain has been talking with his stomach and the two of them were doing a conspiracy against him and... he's now officially crazy... a long sigh confirms it.

Suddenly a big abdominal pain is making him double and kneel, he's panting, trying to get air into his lungs but the pain won't let him. Maybe working after the beating was a bad idea, but that isn't the real problem, he's in a weakened state he can't stop the feelings of pain in his heart and that is making him vulnerable to the cruel life again, he promised his mom he won't cry, he would smile for her, he would love for her, he would live to honor her memory until his last breath... but that oath had become so difficult to keep, so heavy to carry on his thin shoulders. He just wish for a tiny second to die, to end it for good, for real. After all he's a walking corpse with a smile, but still a corpse... and suddenly like a heaven's gift the world is engulfed in darkness.

When he woke up he could see the stars and the moon shining in the sky. In the time his eyes took to refocus so he could saw which way he needed to go he suddenly watched once again the sky and thought that he really likes it, after the rain the sky is clear without a single cloud in the sky line, he remembered that his mom told him that good things happen when the sky is clear, the wind bring new opportunities, new friends, new omens. He smiled, his mom was a beautiful human being.

After he managed to woke up and started the journey to the little tent he owns near his family house, a quiet tune made it out of his lips and for a moment his pain is forgotten, he doesn't remember he's supposed to be a gross reminder of a tragedy, he deeply breaths the fresh air and fills his lungs with new hopes and when he reaches his destination he felt lightheaded and for once he sleeps, for once a dreamless sleep.

~ o ~

Wow first chapter done!

Well read & review please.