A/N: Just a quick little thing I did. It's un-betaed and kind of random. First foray into the Gossip Girl world, so let me know if anyone's ridiculously out of character.
Serena Van der Woodsen should be gay. Every conclusion her mind comes to is that it would be so much better to date girls. But her body goes against it.
Serena thinks that it would be so much nicer to be with a girl. A girl would understand her; whenever there was a bra problem or a period issue, a girl would know what was going on with her. If she didn't feel like shaving her legs that day or didn't do it quite perfectly, another girl would be able to relate that to herself and find a way not to care. A boy would just be disgusted. Another girl would be able to understand moreso than any boy ever could hope to.
Serena's always thought that girls have better body types than boys for the most part. Boys are just so straight: straight torso, straight legs, nothing really going on. No chest, either. From an artistic standpoint, they were entirely dreary to look at in Serena's mind. Once you'd seen one boy's body type, you'd basically seen them all.
But not when it came to girls. Serena found them so much more interesting; so much more variation. Whereas boys were all rigid up and down, girls weren't. So much more flexible when it went from girl to girl. Some of them petite and tiny and curvy all the way up and down, others tall and almost straight as a boy, but looking closely, there was that little bit of curve that made each girl so exquisitely and inherently different.
And chests. Serena's always thought that there should be something up there; otherwise it went from the interesting-looking face to something dull and flat. Of course, some girls had nothing up there, but they still had the curves and the hips and the legs to make up for it. But Serena found herself staring at girls' chests the most, finding it fascinating how one body part could have so many different looks and poses. And maybe that was just the type of bra the girls wore; Serena didn't know, but she didn't really care either.
She's always thought that girls were softer, too, when it came to hugs. Boys were rough and big and all-encapsulating and generally a little too awkward. Their bony chins would come down pointedly on her shoulder and their scratchy hands would latch onto her neck like leeches. But girls' chins never felt like that; it would almost feel like a little teddy bear landing on her shoulder. Girls' fingers were never scratchy; just soft and slender and maybe awkward, too, but right on that line between cute awkward and really awkward. Girls didn't hug Serena by forcing her into their chests and putting their arms loosely and hanging low. Girls hugged with their heads on her shoulder, and hers on theirs. It felt better that way; so much more like equals than as one being the protector, the other the protected.
Lips, too, also softer. Serena has only kissed a total of three girls in her life, but they all had soft lips. Nice tasting even though each of these girls had been at least a little drunk at the time. But unlike boys, she didn't just taste the alcohol: she tasted the flavor of the girl's lip gloss or whatever she'd eaten last, and they all tasted like fruit. Serena didn't know if this was a coincidence, but it tasted good, whatever it was. Something else tasted good, but she couldn't quite place it. All she knew was that she'd never kissed a boy who'd tasted like that. And sometimes boys had that little bit of stubble left on their cheeks- or worse, they'd left it there on purpose. A boy's cheek could be so itchy that it would all the fun out of the kiss, and she'd just wish for it to end.
So looking at all the evidence, Serena Van der Woodsen should be out living the Sapphic life. But she's not, because try as she might, she doesn't get anything from girls. She doesn't get a smile from looking at girls passing by; she doesn't get a kick out of hugging them; and she certainly doesn't get a fireworks display when she kisses them.
That only happens with boys. Boys like Dan, who try so hard but never quite manage to achieve that level of perfection that she wants, needs, demands. They try, but it's never there. Because it can never be soft and lovely and tender. But there's an almost animal feeling that takes over in her whenever she does something with a boy; it draws her into him and doesn't let her out, caging her as a prisoner to her own sexuality.
She really wishes she could just be gay already.
So when Blair Waldorf leans over and kisses her in the heat of the moment, the two of them snuggled up in bed and talking effortlessly, faces barely an inch away from each other, Serena expects to want to pull away from the quick peck.
But it's different this time. Blair's soft lips are physically touching Serena's, but this kiss is touching her somewhere she didn't really know existed. It's somewhere deeper that erupts a feeling, a hunger that she's never known before.
So when Blair Waldorf leans over and kisses her in the heat of the moment, Serena doesn't try to pull away. She tries to pull in closer, wanting to be nearer to Blair and all the heat and warmth and radiance coming from her friend's(if she could still be called that at this point) body.
Blair certainly doesn't mind this as her hand slips up from the sheets, tentatively creeping along Serena's arm and up to her shoulder, sending pulses from each step it takes. Serena desperately adjusts herself on the bed, their legs now entangled, suddenly having minds of their own, playing and poking under the blankets.
Serena feels a very bold Blair slowly run her lips over with her tongue, almost as if she wondering when Serena will tell her to stop. But Serena has no intention of doing so as she eagerly opens her mouth and makes way for Blair's tongue.
After an explosion of delight where she's momentarily rendered incapable of thought, Serena deduces that Blair tastes like a light bit of strawberry champagne mixed with the warm, gooey chocolate chip cookies from earlier and that little bit of something she could never identify before, but makes the kiss that much better.
Blair feels incredibly soft against Serena. Her hand is sweet and small as it flutters across Serena's skin, running through her hair and never getting too deep to the point of getting stuck. Her legs are so smooth, no tips of hair prodding against Serena's own in the most unpleasant of ways. Even the cheek that Serena can only feel when Blair tilts her head a certain way leaves a lasting impression of tenderness.
The curves and variations on Blair's body make for a far more interesting exploration than Serena's ever had before. She moves her hand slowly on the dips of her sides, the flatness of her stomach.
Serena decides that she does like kissing girls better and she can feel that deep intensity in the pit of her stomach, find that softness and loveliness and tenderness that she's been missing; it's just that up until now, she hadn't kissed the right girl.