A/N: Right, first of all thank you to everyone who previously read For Her before I took it down. As you'll see later on, I've givin this story a little more guts to it and it's gone through a rather heavy (and not to mention expensive) facelift. I wasn't really happy with where it was going so I turned the series into a ONESHOT. Anyways, I hope you all like this as much as the previous one.
Thank you again to everyone who've read and reviewed my fics, you are all the best. Lurkers too! The fact that you read them means a whole lot.
Last but not least, thank you to my P.I.C crashdownmontana for supporting me and putting up with my constant irritation. You are the best hun!
and this is...For Her.
He was tired. Having worked an all-nighter the previous day and not able to catch any sleep on the flight to Montana, Danny Messer was completely exhausted. After leaving the courthouse hand-in-hand, Danny had allowed Lindsay to lead him to a small café. Exactly how they'd ended up there, Danny couldn't remember. All he could feel was the bone weary exhaustion. By the time their orders arrived, he was nodding off. Lindsay had mentioned a name, but he couldn't remember it. All he could remember was that it was something she had to take care of before going home.
Lindsay had noticed the lack of conversation and realized for the first time how tired he looked. Feeling a little guilty, she made a quick call, cancelling the meeting and claiming that something important had come up. Through it all, Danny was only conscious of sitting there, his hand holding hers. He didn't notice her stand up.
Moving beside him she laid a hand on his shoulder, gently waking him. "Come on Danny, I'm taking you home and putting you to bed."
Still a little confused as to what was going on, he looked up at her. "Mmhmm – what?" he asked.
She smiled at his confusion. Usually Danny would put on a face, pretending that he was fine no matter how exhausted he was, but he was too tired to even try. Breaking down her sentence a little, she replied, "Home – Bed – Sleep."
He couldn't argue with her, he needed sleep. Danny allowed Lindsay to lead him from the café to the passenger seat of her blue pick-up. The trip to her ranch was a blur. He fought, and failed, to keep his eyes open. After what seemed like an instant, they had arrived at the Monroe family ranch. Feeling the truck jolt to a stop, he heard the sound of doors opening and closing. The next thing he knew, he was being dragged up to the house.
Upon entering the Monroe residence, he was met by an elderly couple. Must be her parents he thought. However, Lindsay didn't stop. She continued leading him up the stairs, bypassing her parents and the inevitable questions. They ended up in her bedroom. Lindsay, noticing that he'd stopped walking at the entrance to her room, pulled him in and pushed him onto the bed. He looked up at her and pouted, he wasn't used to being led around like this by someone else – but he couldn't remember why, and was too tired to argue. Laying his head down, he closed his eyes and felt her removing his glasses.
Lindsay gave him a caring smile. "Get some sleep Danny. I'll wake you up for dinner ok?"
He didn't respond as he had fallen asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. Pulling up the covers over him, she bent down and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.
"Goodnight Danny," she whispered.
Walking quietly out of the room, she closed the door a little and made her way downstairs, mentally preparing herself for the round of 20 questions from her parents. Finding them in the kitchen, she offered them a tired smile before joining them at the kitchen counter.
Jack was never that critical with the boys his daughter went out with, but he made clear that if they hurt her, he'd be turning up on their door-step with a shot gun.
"Was that Danny?" asked Jack Monroe softly from behind his newspaper.
Lindsay looked up at her father wearing a shocked expression. "How did you…,"
Putting the newspaper down and taking a sip of his coffee, Jack looked at Lindsay and gave her a Monroe grin, one that could rival the Messer grin any day. "Honey, judging on how much you talk about Danny around here, I didn't think you'd be bringing anyone else home, much less to your room, unless...I'm wrong?"
Lindsay could only chuckle in response. Sometimes her father knew her too well. "Yea Daddy that was Danny, he flew up from New York this morning to come to the…" started Lindsay but was cut off by her mother.
"He came all the way here from New York – this morning?" asked Catherine. Looking at her husband, she saw him smile.
Lindsay smiled at the memory of seeing him walk through the courtroom door. His presence confused her at first, knowing that he was supposed to be in New York, but his eyes. His eyes told her everything. He was there for her and nothing else. He had given her the strength, the strength she needed to put that murderer away for good.
"I couldn't have done it without him," she whispered softly, looking down and playing with her hands.
Jack nodded at his daughter. What she couldn't see was the big smile that he now had on his face, mirrored on her mother's. They had yet to formally meet Danny, but by description alone, Jack liked Danny. It seemed that Danny had gone through a lot of trouble to help his little girl for which he could only be grateful that she had someone that cared about her that much in the big city.
Not noticing her father, Lindsay forged on, trying to explain herself. "He hasn't had any sleep for the past 2 days and was exhausted. So I brought him home and put him to sleep. You're not angry are you?" she asked, uncertain.
"Of course not,"
The reply was short, which made her head shoot up. That was definitely not what she had expected to hear. "What?"
Jack simply smiled. "I said I'm not angry."
Going from staring incredulously at her father to looking down to her hands once more, she smiled.
All the while, Catherine Monroe looked on with amusement. She did however notice her daughter's yawn. The trial was over, but it had taken a lot out of her. Suddenly, an idea came to mind. She wanted to know what this man really meant to her daughter.
"Lindsay honey, you're tired. Why don't you go upstairs and sleep with Danny?" Catherine asked innocently.
Both heads turned at the question and Jack immediately sported a grin. It took a little while longer for Lindsay to understand what her mother was talking about, but soon understood. Making a quick decision, she got up and started walking towards the stairs. Before disappearing, she turned and threw her parents a daring grin and replied, "Don't mind if I do."
XXXXXXXXXX
Making her way back upstairs, she tip-toed into her bedroom finding Danny sprawled on her bed. She smiled. He looked so peaceful while he slept, so innocent. She could see the real him and not his bravado.
Unconsciously she started to question herself. Was this really a good idea? But the better half of her won as she quietly slid into bed beside Danny and smiled when his arms tightened around her. As she drifted off to sleep, she failed to notice the smile that had crept on to Danny's face.
XXXXXX
It was a good morning; at least he thought it was morning. After all, it wasn't everyday you fall asleep alone and wake up with a woman in your arms. Shifting a little to glance at the clock, it was indeed morning. Lying silently for another few minutes, Danny took the time to admire how beautiful Lindsay looked when she was asleep. She's so beautiful, he thought. Tucking a stray curl behind her ear, he buried his face into her hair once again, relishing the moment for as long as he could before it ended.
Slowly getting out of bed, Danny headed towards the bathroom for a shower. 20 minutes later he was done and made his way downstairs. Time to meet the parents, he thought. Looking around the corners to find someone, he smiled at the elderly woman behind the counter who in the middle of preparing breakfast before heading in.
"Hi, I'm Danny Messer – we didn't really get a chance to meet yesterday" said Danny, offering a sheepish smile.
"I'm Lindsay's mom. You call me Catherine and nothing else," replied Catherine before giving Danny a soft, welcoming smile. "Last I remember you were being dragged up the stairs by Lindsay. Is she still asleep?"
Danny could only laugh at the memory. Although most of it was a blur, he remembered being dragged up the stairs. "Yea, she's still sleeping upstairs," replied Danny. "Thanks for having me here; I really should have found a hotel room or something…"
"Nonsense," shot Catherine, cutting Danny off. "We're happy to have you here honey. It's nice to finally put a face to your name. Lindsay talks about you all the time." said Catherine giving Danny another sweet smile.
"Oh" replied Danny, blushing slightly. So Montana talks about me to her parents eh?
"Don't worry, only good things so far," she added with a smile.
"Thank god," said Danny dramatically.
Noticing that she was starting to cook, he offered to help to which Catherine could only ask "you cook?"
Laughing loudly, Danny nodded, "I'm Italian."
They chatted for a while, sharing stories and finding common interests. Danny found out that Lindsay's mother loves Italian food, and he promised to cook her something whilst he was still here.
At that moment, the backdoor opened as Jack stepped into the kitchen mumbling. "That darn horse…never will it…Oh! Hi there young man. What are you doing in my kitchen?" Jack asked in the most intimidating tone he could muster.
Danny spun around at the voice, "Err, I'm…ah…Danny, I'm… ah…" stuttered Danny.
Jack couldn't help but roar in laughter at Danny's nervousness. He was sure Lindsay would be annoyed if he embarrassed Danny too much, so he decided to end the boy's misery, saving his own life at one go.
"Relax Danny! I'm Jack, Lindsay's father," introduced Jack, offering his hand. He couldn't help but laugh at Danny's obvious sigh of relief.
Shaking Jack's hand, Danny couldn't help but grin, "At least you didn't bring a shotgun"
He was starting to like this man even more now. Good sense of humour. "What would you have done if I was carrying a gun?" asked Jack with a glint of humour in his eyes.
"Run like a puppy," replied Danny with a smile, "and as to what I'm doing in your kitchen, I'm helping Catherine with breakfast".
That set Jack off again as he sat down at the table laughing, "Well, don't let me stop you then!"
Danny as though realising something turned to Catherine, "Did Lindsay eat anything when she came home yesterday?" he asked with worry.
"No, we chatted for a while, and then she went up and fell asleep with you," she replied. Catherine could sense the worry in his voice and could help the smile that accompanied the thought. Danny cared about her little girl; there was no doubt about that. She could only hope that Lindsay realised what a caring man she had in Danny.
"Oh" thinking for a moment, he continued, more so to himself than anyone else. "I think I'm going to go wake her up. She hasn't eaten anything in days. She needs to eat something."
Catherine smiled and nodded as he left to wake Lindsay. Looking at her husband, she saw that he too was sporting a similar look. Glancing at the spot Danny had stood; she shook her head and smiled before going back to preparing breakfast.
XXXXXXXXXX
Lindsay woke up to sunlight in shining through her open blinds. Looking at her alarm clock on the bedside table, she groaned. It was 9 in the morning. "Guess we were more exhausted than we thought." Turning around, she realised that Danny was gone. Groaning, she turned back and buried herself into her pillow. Hearing Danny quietly enter her room, she pretended to be asleep.
Sitting next to her on the bed, he gently tucked her hair behind her ears. God she's beautiful he thought. Smiling to himself, he began softly nudging her. "Montana…"
She merely groaned and buried deeper into her pillow. Bending down, he tried again. "Montana, come on get up already," whispered Danny into her ears.
His breath on her ears made shivers run down her spine, and she couldn't stifle the grin that broke out onto her face. She tried turning to hide it, but it was too late. Grinning evilly, he dug his hands into her sides and started tickling.
XXXXXXXXXX
Downstairs, all that could be heard were Lindsay's laughter and shrieks. Giving her husband a choked laugh, Catherine asked "What do you think they're doing up there?"
Looking down from the ceiling, Jack merely grinned. "Oh – just having a little fun I think."
XXXXXXXXXX
"Danny! Stop it! DANNY!" shrieked Lindsay whilst trying to swat his hands away and laughing.
He took pity on her and stopped tickling her sides. "It's not my fault you didn't want to wake up Montana" said Danny with a smirk.
Giving him a mock glare, Lindsay took hold of Danny's shirt and pulled him down next to her. With some quick manoeuvring, she ended up straddling him.
"Two can play at that game Messer" said Lindsay with a mischievous glint in her eyes.
"What? MONTANA!" yelped Danny, as Lindsay repaid him for his waking services.
After a moment of laughing and squirming, Danny finally caught hold of Lindsay's hands and pulled her down to him. Taking a moment to catch their breaths, they laid there one on top of the other.
Looking down at her, he started, "Lindsay…"
Looking up her brown eyes met his blue. Simply reacting, she leaned up and placed a soft kiss onto his lips. At first she thought about pulling back, but that train of thought was lost as Danny tightened his arms around her and began to kiss her back. The kiss wasn't full of lust but of love. Lindsay groaned in disappointment when Danny pulled back.
Breathlessly, Danny looked into her eyes and felt himself drown in them. "Lindsay…"
Silencing him a finger on his lips, she smiled. "I want this Danny, I want you."
Danny smiled before leaning in and giving her another sweet kiss. "Lindsay, I need to tell you something. I have to tell you the truth."
Lindsay confused, sat up, still straddling him. "What is it Danny?"
Closing his eyes for a moment, he opened them to find a worried Lindsay. He sighed.
"I told you that all I wanted were a few drinks and laughs," started Danny.
Lindsay nodded.
Looking at her, Danny continued. "I lied, I never wanted that."
Oh god, he's moved on. He doesn't want me, thought Lindsay. Panic began to rise within her as the thought of losing him passed through her brain.
Seeing the hurt flash through her eyes, he hurried to continue. "I want more, I want a relationship with you Lindsay," said Danny, looking at her with a look of hope in his eyes. "I want people to know that you belong to me, and that I belong to you. I want it all – with you."
Lindsay thought to herself for a moment. Here in front of her was Danny Messer, telling her that he wanted to commit to a relationship – with her. She smiled. Well maybe it'll make all those lab techs stop staring she added with a thought. Leaning down to him once more, she gave him a lingering kiss.
Moving to his ear, she whispered "I want to try and make this work Danny."
Danny laughed and kissed her once again. He laughed as he suddenly remembered what he came up here to do. "You know we're going to have to talk about this later right?"
"I know, I'm serious about this Danny," said Lindsay.
"I came up here to get you for breakfast, and I come down with more," said Danny, offering Lindsay a sly grin.
"Well let's go then cowboy," she whispered, leaning down to nibble on his ear. "I'm starving," she added returning his grin with one of her own.
XXXXXX
Catherine and Jack looked up as Danny and Lindsay entered the kitchen hand in hand. Catherine only smiled whilst Jack flashed them a wild grin at Lindsay's flushed look. Looking at Danny, Jack winked at him as he began wagging his eyebrows. "Took you a little while there to wake her up Danny boy."
Danny merely grinned as he saw Lindsay blush before shooting him a glare. Turning back to Jack, Danny chuckled. "I got a little…distracted."
XXXXXX
The rest of their day was spent in each other's company, outdoors where the space of Montana's wheat fields gave them time to clear their own heads. Although they both wanted the relationship, they also knew that in order for it to last, they needed a more solid foundation, one with no secrets. They had been horse-riding through the Monroe ranch for over an hour now; taking in the sights, laughing with one another, simply enjoying each other's presence. Lindsay was surprised that Danny could ride and couldn't stifle the laugh that erupted when he mistakenly manoeuvred the horse off the track.
Lindsay's laughter was intoxicating. At least, that was what Danny thought having ran the horse off the path after losing himself in it. He couldn't help it nor did he ever want to deny it; he loved her laugh and he was pretty damn sure that he was falling in love with her. Wait a minute, he thought. Having a crush on her he could understand but love? They'd never even been on a date and he was calling it love. Danny knew on the inside that what he was feeling couldn't be mistaken. You don't fly out on a spur of the moment feeling to see someone you liked, no; you do that for someone you care deeply for, someone you love. He had done that. He flew to Montana without even thinking of the consequences that it may reap. Yet, he couldn't help but think to himself if finally having her to call his own was the consequence of him coming out here, he didn't mind, he didn't mind at all.
"Danny? Hey Dan, you ok?" asked Lindsay, trotting up beside him with a look of concern on her face.
Her angelic face, thought Danny. He could stare at her the entire day and boredom would be the last word on his vocabulary list. Right now, he could see the beginnings of a frown developing on her beautiful face. Smiling, Danny merely shook his head and replied, "I'm fine Linds."
They may have been officially together for a couple of hours now but she knew him better than that. They've known each other for over 2 years now and she'd spent more time with him than anyone else on the team. At times, she could read him like a book, and other times she could stare at him for hours pondering what was going through his mind. It was all in the question of how much of his feelings he hid. A lot of people would say that Danny wore his feelings on his sleeve, but Lindsay knew that wasn't true. One that knew him could tell that often enough those feelings weren't true. Sure he wore his feelings on his sleeve sometimes, but he could also hide them just as well behind his tough-cop bravado. She knew that his cockiness was often used to mask his fear or uncertainty and she couldn't love him any less for being who he was. He wasn't perfect, and neither was she for that matter, it was what made her love him even more.
Love, it was strange and at the same time exhilarating to admit that she was in falling in love with him. Ever since he turned up in the courtroom, she couldn't name the feeling that spread warmth throughout her entire body. It made sitting on the stand that much easier and less painful. He had been there for her, and she'd repay him for it – somehow, someday.
Glancing at her, Danny could see the exhaustion and pain that the last few days had caused. Although he was there the instant she needed him, he had never gotten the chance to ask his own questions. He knew that Daniel Cadence had murdered her friends and that she was there, but that was all he knew. Everything else was a mystery to him, her life before and in New York. Sure they worked together but until now she'd declined all of his advances. He knew that something was bothering her but never had the courage to ask her what it was. He was her friend, and he cared for her. But it wasn't his place to pry, and he firmly believed that she would tell him when she was ready. Right now, he needed to know. If they were going to take a stab at this relationship, he needed to know her ghosts. He wanted to be a part of her life that was more than simple friendship. He craved to know her better, to be the one person she thinks about. He needed to know what she had been through and the things that have made her into the person he loved today, and in turn he could begin to let her in.
No, this wasn't all about her, it was about him too. She knew that his past wasn't perfect and yet here she was with him. He needed her, more than she knew. Letting someone in wasn't something he was used to doing. That was the main reason behind his reputation for being a player. One night stands eliminated the threat of letting someone in too deeply. His past was his own, and throughout his entire life, he had dealt with it alone.
But Lindsay was there with him when Louie fell into a coma. She was there beside him, knowing fully well that telling him she knew how he felt had no meaning whatsoever. No one knew how he felt, simply because he didn't want them to. Letting someone in meant that he would be exposing himself, putting himself out on the line, knowing that he'd be showing that person everything; his strengths as well as his weaknesses. Until now, he'd never met a person whom he craved to let in. Lindsay Monroe was the one woman whom he wanted to share his secrets too. He didn't know what it was about her but he couldn't help but lose himself every time he saw her. If they wanted this relationship to work, he needed to know what she wanted from him, and she needed to know what he wanted. Aside from the brief conversation leading to them enjoying the feel of each others lips, they hadn't had the chance to properly talk. They needed to talk, and right now to Danny there wasn't a better place on earth. Literally they were in the middle of nowhere surrounded by nothing but wheat.
Slowing his horse down to a slow trot, he softly cleared his throat before turning towards her. "Lindsay... we need to talk, you know – about us". Danny was red as an apple, silently cursing himself for being so smooth.
Lindsay on the other hand couldn't help but find the whole situation amusing. Sure she knew that he was trying to be serious but couldn't help but laugh at his clear discomfort for which she received a hard glare. "Sorry Dan, I can't help it. You look cute all red," replied Lindsay in between chuckles.
Shaking his head in mock annoyance, Danny couldn't help the grin that began to comfortably sit itself on his face. There was that laugh again, the laugh that he could spend eternity listening to. "Lindsay, I'm serious. We need to talk about this. If we want this to work, we need get certain things out of the way and in the open."
His eyes told her that he meant it. He was being serious, and she knew that he had no clue what he was doing either, just like her.
"Lindsay, I know you've been through a lot these past few days. But if we want this, we can't keep anymore secrets from each other. I need to know what you want from me and how far you're willing to take this," said Danny softly.
Carefully leaning out and taking one of his hands in hers, she looked up into his eyes, willing him to understand that she wanted everything he was willing to offer. "Dan, I told you earlier that I wanted to be with you. I want to feel special, with you holding me. I want you to tell me that…that you love me, so I can tell you that I love you too. I want a relationship with you Danny, I want to hold your hand, I want you to kiss me and I want all those damn lab techs to know that you're mine and no one else's."
Taking her hand up to his lips and giving it a gentle kiss, Danny gave her a gentle smile. "I'm falling in love with you Linds; I can't explain it any other way."
Lindsay couldn't help the blush that rose to her cheeks which accompanied the warmth that had spread throughout her entire body. The horses must have sensed something because the next thing she knew, they had come up beside one another and had begun to trot in sync.
Inside, Lindsay knew that she needed to share with Danny her past before she could move on to a future, a future with him. She had encountered so much in her life, pain and anguish that for the first time, she was allowing herself to feel love; not only the love for someone else but also to be loved by another.
"Danny, I want this to work. Us I mean. I guess for that to happen, I need to tell you the whole story," started Lindsay, before ending in a painful sigh.
Suddenly realising that as much as he wanted to know the ordeals she had been through, he had forgotten the pain she would go through in re-living them again, only for him. He felt stupid, selfish and senseless. How could he have overlooked such an important thing for his own benefit? "Linds, you… you don't have to. Not now… I can…" stuttered Danny.
"No Danny," interrupted Lindsay. "You need to hear this. I want you to hear this, and I need you to understand Danny."
Not knowing what to say, Danny simply nodded, allowing her to continue.
"That man murdered my friends 20 years ago Danny. I was there, and I survived. I don't know why, but I survived. Some of the girls had brighter futures than mine could ever be. Yet, I was the only one who survived. That was I went into forensics, to find him. I then realised that I could help people, which was why I continued. But since then, I've constantly pushed people away. I don't want people's pity Danny; I want them to see me for who I am, and not some lonely girl who's scared out of her wits. That was why I didn't tell you. You mean more to me than anyone else Dan, I was scared that you would change your mind if you knew. I was scared to be in a relationship with you when this…whole thing was still on my shoulders. I didn't want to lose you..."
They continued talking for a few hours, now walking through the wheat field by foot, having left the horses to roam around. Lindsay was glad that Danny now knew her past. She didn't have anything to hide from him anymore and it relieved her more than anything else.
Danny was silent for most of their conversation, not knowing exactly what to say, all he could offer was his embrace, which she gratefully accepted. He now knew the reason why she stood him up, why she didn't want to be with him, why she didn't want to say goodbye. He could see the relief in her eyes as though she was unloading unto him all her nightmares and the stranger thing was that it was what he wanted. He wanted her to share her demons with him, because it meant he could share his own demons with her.
"I guess it's my turn to share huh," said Danny attempting to laugh. It was hard for him to talk about his past. Just like her, he was afraid that if she knew everything she'd turn away. He didn't want to lose her either. But a stronger part of him knew that they needed to trust each other. She trusted him and told him her story, now it was his turn to trust her.
"I guess…" started Danny but stopped as Lindsay placed her fingers on his lips.
"No," she said.
"No?" asked Danny, perplexed. She had shared with him her past, didn't she want to know about his?
Letting go of his lips, Lindsay gave him a soft kiss before taking his hands in hers. "You'll tell me when you're ready Danny. I don't doubt that, but right now I can see that you're not."
"But you told me…"
"But that doesn't mean that you have to tell me right now Danny," said Lindsay smiling softly. "I don't want to force you to do something you're not ready to do Dan."
"Montana…"
"Danny…"
Letting his head hang for a moment, Danny couldn't help but smile. Here was a woman who gave and didn't expect anything in return. If he didn't love her then, he would definitely love her now. Looking up into her eyes, Danny could see the love that was held within, and that love was all for him.
"Thank you," whispered Danny.
Looking into his eyes, Lindsay could see the love that was mirrored in her own, the love for her and no one else. "I love you, and I trust that you'll tell me eventually, in your own time."
No words could express the love he felt for her at that point. Pulling her to him, he held her tightly against him, burying his head in her golden curls.
"I love you too, and whatever the future may bring, I'll always be here for you Montana. You've given me so much hope, hope that I need in my life. I love you so much Lindsay."
His love for her could never be described in mere words, yet the one lone tear that fell from his eyes shimmering in the sunset marked a point in his life where he knew, wherever she was, he would always be there - for her.
A/N: So? What did you guys think? The beginning is pretty much the same, it was just the direction that I wanted to take it that changed. I've got a plan for a sequel in my head, where it's Lindsay's turn to be there for him, and facing his demons together whilst being his pillar of strength and hope. Anybody interested? I won't write it unless people want it! (Now there's a reason for you to review!)
Check my profile for upcoming fics :)
Hehe, anywho - please review and tell me what you guys think.
Thank you.