It was the first time I had seen him in his uniform. He was standing with his back towards me-gazing out the south window. I stood there in the doorway for a moment watching his shoulders rise and fall slowly as he exhaled. He raised his hand and pulled the hair on his neck. I suddenly realized I had not made my presence known.
I cleared my throat.
Michael turned abruptly and I caught a glimpse of his thought-filled gaze before it vanished at the sight of me.
"Jane," he breathed, with a tonality in his voice that I had never heard before. I was almost certain it contained traces of longing. I took a few steps toward him.
"When do you leave?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer.
"A few minutes, I guess," he responded.
"Too soon," I said aloud before I could stop myself.
He just looked at me. It was one of those silent, unreadable stares that tormented me. Whenever he gave me those looks, he completely disabled my defenses. I couldn't release myself from his gaze. The air was suddenly tense between us and I struggled to regain some semblance of normalcy.
Just try to comfort him, I thought. I'm sure its just his nervousness coming through.
"Are you scared?" I asked softly. Then I thought that that may cause him even more discomfort. He took a step forward-never dropping his leg weakening gaze.
"Yes," he replied, still staring.
He took a few more steps-closing the gap between us. He had never been this close. It was startling. I began to feel as if his piercing green eyes could see every part of me. Suddenly his breath quickened.
"I'm scared of leaving you," he started, "I'm scared that if I go, I'll never see you again."
"Just come home safe," I whispered, letting my emotions race down my cheeks. I had not realized until that moment how much I meant it.
How could I live without Michael? I couldn't. Life wouldn't be worth living.
I love him.
He cradled my head in his hands and rested his forehead on mine. My heart was racing from our intimacy. All these years, I had wondered if he even cared for me-or if he could ever learn to see me as more than just a friend. But here we were-standing so close that I thought I could hear his heart racing as quickly as mine. And I knew. He cared for me. He always has.
And I love him!
"May I kiss you?" I could barely hear his breathless request, but I closed my eyes to give my consent.
When I felt the warm pressure of his lips on mine, I lost all feeling in my body. I felt as though I was floating through the air. My heart was so full that I didn't even think to respond to him at first. I gathered enough feeling to move my hands to the back of his neck as he deepened our embrace-wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close.
There was a knock on the door and Samuel entered. The abruptness was like glass shattering-breaking the intense emotions that had been flowing just seconds before.
At the sight of us, Samuel blushed.
"Oh-" he stumbled.
"Give us a minute, Sam," Michael stammered out, probably louder than necessary.
"But-" Samuel started.
"Just one minute," Michael repeated-softer this time.
He took a step back and searched my face before speaking.
"Wait for me," he said finally.
"What?" I didn't even know where to begin to think.
"Wait for me," he repeated, "and when I come home let me marry you."