A/N Hey everyone! I haven't written an actual story in a long time, and I hope this is way better than the stuff I wrote back then anyway. So wish me luck and try to at least read the first chapter. :)
Jailbird: A Practical Guide to High School, Fairies, and Orange Jumpsuits
After Mom came to bail me out of jail, my day pretty much went downhill from there. The crazy thing is, my first day of 9th grade had started out wonderfully. We have a tradition in the Grimm household: on the first day of school, Dad makes a HUGE breakfast for us. I have appreciated this more lately, because my Granny, although very well intentioned, has strange ideas about what constitutes food.
So I woke up 15 minutes early, feeling totally energized. A bit nervous, but in a good way. A more good than bad way, at least. I took a quick shower and toweled off my hair, then headed downstairs to the smell of bacon, pancakes, sausage, and maple syrup. I knew from experience that there would also be omelets later, but Dad always made those to order.
"Morning, Dad, Mom," I said strolling into the kitchen and stretching. "Hi, 'Brina," they said in unison. Everyone had picked up Uncle Jake's nickname for me. "Nervous about your first day of high school?" Mom asked. "Nah," I said, casually, because, let's be honest, who wants to tell their mom that they are in fact worrying about fitting in and getting decent grades and finding someone to sit with? Moms are much too "you'll do fine." I'm more of a practical advice person, myself. Still, there was food to be eaten. First things first. I plopped down in my seat at the table and dug into a pile of pancakes. My waking up early buzz hadn't died out yet, and I was almost eager to get to school.
I stuffed a huge bite of sausage into my mouth, eating as fast as possible so I would have time to do something with my hair. I was trying to swallow pretty much a whole pig when Puck walked in. Let the record show that I do NOT like Puck. I just don't like anyone seeing my with a huge wad of semichewed meat in my mouth. Particularly anyone who will probably spread it all over school. "Morning, Piggy!" Puck chirped. "Where's Marshmallow?" I finally managed to gulp down the sausage. "I don't know. I just got up," I said. I could actually feel the heat rays radiating from my face. Was it me, or was my plate melting? I grabbed a pancake for the road and beat a hasty retreat.
I spent several minutes with my closet doors open, contemplating my available outfits. I actually had some great pieces, because there are some decent boutiques in the Mall of Wonders. We found it on a quest, and it RAWKS! Of course, a lot of the shops were damaged in the War, but there's a lot of stuff there if you're willing to look for it, and it's totally free. Plus, the guardian, Vargo, is awesome. Anyway, I decided on a Madden Girl sundress with a Guess lace shrug and Candies ballet flats. All of it was pretty casual, and I was sure I wouldn't be overdressed. Ferryport Landing Middle (when I could find time to go) had a strict dress code, but the high school doesn't, so it's hard to gauge what people will wear, but I think I'm in the middle of the Fanciness Spectrum, which is the place to be.
I rinsed off my face, and swiped on some mascara and a little blush. Then I curled just the tips of my hair and stepped back from the mirror. Mission accomplished! I grabbed my book bag and headed downstairs. I headed out the front door and hopped into my dad's car. After 10 minutes of waiting, I tromped back inside. "Where is everyone? We're going to be LATE!" I stuck my head into the kitchen. The place was a mess, but a deserted mess. Nobody was downstairs. I jogged up the stairs, almost tripping over Puck's skateboard, which he refuses to keep in the garage. Daphne's room and Red's room were both empty, so I cautiously opened Puck's door. I inched in slowly, checking the ground for trip wires or pressure plates. It looked safe, so I walked a few steps in. "Puck? Daph? Red?" "OVER HERE!" Daphne yelled. I trotted over to the lake. "Yo, let's go! We're going to be LATE!" (Yes, I like saying "LATE," it's kind of dramatic.)
I stepped over to see what the fuss was all about. "Puck doesn't have anything to wear," said Daphne.
I almost fell over. "You're kidding, right? So suddenly Puck cares about clean clothing? This is ridiculous! We're going to be LATE!"
"No, I mean Granny won't let him wear any of his stuff because it's, well, disgusting. He would totally go like he is," Daphne explained.
Puck would, in fact, probably have gone like he was. In his pajamas, that is. I groaned. "Come on, to the Mall of Wonders," I snapped, dragging Puck along with me.
We found some converse jeans and an American Eagle tee for Puck.
"Puck! You look totally preppy!" Daphne gasped joyfully.
I have to admit it was true. Puck looked pretty good, to be honest. Not that I noticed or anything.
"Ok, let's go! We're going to be LATE!" I said for the gazillionth time. We all trooped off to school. Up til now, I hadn't really noticed her, but Red was of course with us, looking semi-emo. When we got to the bus stop, the bus was just pulling up, and we climbed on. Because Ferryport landing is so small, the bus drivers pick up junior high and high schoolers at the same time, and make two stops to deliver them to school, so I had Daphne and Red for back up.
Puck was looking eager to get started on being a nuisance, so I edged away from him and sank into a seat next to a mousy girl with glasses and a bright smile. She was pretty, but not in an intimidating way. "Hi," I said. "I'm Sabrina."
"Hey. Madison," she answered, sounding kind of southern for a girl from New York.
"Sabrina Grimm," I added, just to make sure she knew that I was basically the only reason she was stuck in this tiny town. See, we Grimms were the only humans left in town, and therefore, she was an Everafter. I just like to rule out the possibility that someone would like to kill me early on in a relationship. Call it caution.
"Oh! Wow. I'm Madison Churchmouse." She was still smiling, which I took as a good sign. I gave her a look that said "Whaaaaat?" and she laughed. I was just thinking that she looked even mousier than when I sat down when I noticed the tail. And the ears. And the snout. She was turning into a mouse! After a second she started shrinking, til she was a tiny brown mouse. "AWEsome!" I said, not so much because it was awesome as because I didn't want to embarrass her, although turning into a rodent on a a school bus is asking for it. She turned human again in just two or three seconds, which I was thankful for. Watching human/animal transformations makes me queasy. It happens more often than you might think.
Our first few classes whizzed by. All the teachers were pretty nice, and I had Ms. White for homeroom. After the War it was difficult to find high school teachers, and Ms. White was qualified, so she moved up from grade school. She also does gym. Frankly, I think she's a bit military about the whole thing. Very about face left right left drill sergeanty.
But enough about the good parts of my day. I won't bore you with how I sat with Madison and her brother Scott at lunch, and how I got no homework at all, and how great Painting Elective was, and how the popular kids were nice to me, or any of that. Let's get to the dirt.
Right after lunch I had Algebra. I was pretty absorbed in the inventory test, when a girl with long black hair and huge green eyes rapped on the door. I think her name was Isabel or something like that. She handed the teacher a note and skipped on out. Definitely the whistle while you work type. She managed to look attractive wearing a POCKET PROTECTOR, I kid you not. Some people have it all.
Anyway, the teacher, Mr. Schulz, read the note and told me to go to the office. I had to ask for directions, but fortunately it's a tiny school, and I had no trouble finding it. I was unsurprised to find Puck also in the office. What did surprise me was to see two burly deputies that I didn't recognize standing on either side of him. Since Sheriff Hamstead had moved back to town with his wife Bess, he had only deputized three people. The need for law enforcement was pretty minimal since the Scarlet Hand was overthrown. But here were two enormous men I'd never seen before wearing uniforms. Although between you and me, they could both have stood a size up.
But anyway. One of the refrigerator sized (and shaped) guards motioned me to a chair next to Puck's, and I wasn't arguing with a law enforcement officer the size and approximate weight of a large appliance. After a few minutes of extremely awkward silence, in which my only entertainment was watching the middle aged secretary reapply her cherry red lipstick approximately 14 times, the principal's door opened. And who should stick out his nose but Mayor Charming himself? Charming waved us over. "Grimm, Fairy." "Billy," I said cheerfully. Puck grunted and stalked over. I followed suit. We followed Charming into the office. The principal was a thin older man with approximately seven hairs sculpted into a comb over. I wondered why he was so old if he was an Everafter. He gestured for us to sit down, and we did. The refrigerator-guards stood on either side of us.
"I'm sure you know why you are here," intoned the principal in a very old voice. It sounded older than the guy looked, which is extremely ancient.
"No, actually. But I bet you'll tell us," I said, not in a mood to mince words. As it turns out, Charming was in a mood to mince words. As usual.
"Surely you did not think that you would escape the long arm of the law?" he expostulated, sounding shocked and appalled. (The long arm of the law? Really?)
"Um. . . no?" guessed Puck.
"I am shocked! And appalled!" said Charming.
"So, what did we do?" I asked. Charming gestured to one of the fridge guards, and he handed Charming a very official looking document with a coffee ring on it. Charming opened the document and began to read. "Sabrina Grimm and Robin Goodfellow, you are hereby arrested for the callous murder of the Queen of Hearts. First degree murder. Anything you say can and will be used against you blah blah blah court of law blah blah blah phone call blah blah blah lawyer blah blah blah jury of your peers blah blah. . ."
I was about to start exploding in furious anger when the fridge guards clapped us in irons and dragged us away to the jail. The last time I was here I was bringing Sheriff Hamstead a casserole! I'm telling you, being in a jail and being IN jail are two very different things. Charming locked us in a cell. He didn't even take off the handcuffs.
"Where's Sheriff Hamstead?" I demanded, knowing he could bail us out of jail.
"On business," sniffed Charming.
"Fine! Yeah right! So how much bail are you asking?"
"You two are murderers! You are being held without bail!" Snorted Charming, as if he couldn't believe my audacity in wanting to know how many beans he wanted to get two harmless teenagers out of the joint.
I tried arguing. I really tried. But it was futile, and I ended up flopping down on my cot. Well, the cot. There was only one, so Puck was going to have to sleep on the floor. After about an hour, Mom walked in, looking livid. Not at us, mind you, which is good, because when you're on the wrong side of the law you need a good support base at home, to keep up your spirits and do your laundry and feed and clothe you and stuff like that. So I was happy to see Mom. "Mom!" I said. Great, we were finally getting out of here!
A second later Charming burst back in. "I am sorry, Veronica, but you are not allowed back here with the prisoners!" he yelled, sounding distinctly non-sorry.
"Tell it to someone who cares!" Mom yelled back. She turned to me. "So, what are you in for?"
"Eh, this is going to sound bad, but first degree murder," I said. She arched an eyebrow at Charming.
"These children callously murdered the Queen of Hearts!" announced Charming.
"WHAT? The Queen of Hearts died in the War! We didn't kill her," I yelped.
"So you say! But we have an eyewitness who swears by all things holy that you stabbed the Queen of Hearts in her sleep," Charming said triumphantly. What really confused me, besides the whole accused-of-murder thing, was that Charming was so happy about our arrest. He had been pretty civil since we had fought on the same side and all in the war, and now he was turning us in to the authorities? Come to think of it, who were the authorities, anyway? Charming was acting quite sheriffy with Hamstead gone.
"Who's the 'eyewitness'?" I asked.
Charming just opened the door to the back room and gestured to someone who I couldn't see inside to come out. And out stepped a roundfaced man with a mustache and a very severe part in his shiny, hairsprayed hair.
"Um, hi?" I said. He just glanced at me disdainfully. I liked him already.