Author's note: Back again! Something to work on while I struggle through my block.

Disclaimer: I don't own Jennifer's Body, trust me, it would've ended differently.

Best Friends

Besides, best friends don't keep secrets, right?

Maybe not. Because best friends were supposed to share secret with each other, whisper them like quiet truths at stupid, girly sleepovers.

But best friends also didn't do a lot of things.

Best friends didn't give you a mean nickname like 'Needy', because honestly, that's really degrading in retrospect.

Best friends didn't take your toys.

Best friends shared their dolls instead of making you always be Ugly Ashley.

Best friends didn't say that you couldn't be friends with someone just because they were different than that said best friend.

Best friends didn't ruin it for you when you realized that you like someone a lot more than just as a friend. Best friends didn't get mean and nasty and threaten to make fun of you forever if you kept talking to that person. Best friends weren't awful to the person who was really your true friend.

Best friends didn't shame you into hiding years' worth of school pictures in a frilly white sock at the bottom of your sock drawer just because they'd throw a fit if you had them out.

Best friend didn't shame you into breaking away from a friend for good, telling you that "BFFs of flag girls can't hang out with gothy weirdos", and "You can't hang out with him anymore, you're supposed to be my BFF, not his!"

Best friends didn't make it so that you had to schedule a movie date with that once-friend for a weekend when they were out getting laid. Best friends didn't make you feel like you were gonna vom all over your favourite sweater (and the backseat of his car) at the heartbreaking look of resignation on his face.

Best friends didn't make you feel guilty for almost, almost getting down with that once-friend, even not even knowing about the situation.

Best friends didn't make fun of you for getting a boyfriend who kind of made the pain of forcing your once-friend away disappear for a little while. (Even though that relationship never felt right, because that Once-Friend was a much better kisser, and totally knew how to use his hands. Such pretty hands.)

Best friends didn't constantly put you down just because they thought that they were God's gift to horny adolescents.

Best friends didn't ditch you just to get in a van with skeezy, indie rocker assholes who so weren't worth the cover charge, or the publicity after the accident.

Best friends didn't tell you that you were nutso for being concerned after they puked up pure evil on your kitchen floor.

Best friends didn't turn down your once-friend, then ask him over to their place just because you said that you thought he was cool, and nice.

Best friends didn't bust the windshield of your mom's car.

Best friends didn't steal your favourite shirt, try to seduce you, then drop a bunch of supernatural bullshit on you.

And after she jumps out the window, you realize that best friends don't probably eat the boy that you've loved since you were little either.

So…

Best friends don't do a lot of things.

And that's that. I hope you enjoyed it. As always, reviews are appreciated if you're so inclined.