Just a short story of Daniels thought concerning Jack and Abydos. Thank you Judith for the cover photo!
1st trip to Abydos – Daniel's thoughts.
I felt like you thought I was an idiot. Like you had no confidence in anything I said. You seemed to think that it was my fault that you had to come back – that you returned to the very job that you fled from. The one you blamed for taking your heart away. Just like you blamed yourself. You felt it was both your fault and the United States Air Force – because if you had never signed up they would have never issued you a gun. If they had never issued you a gun, you would not have outlived your son.
I am so sorry. I did honestly think that I could get us back home. It was never my intention for us to become stranded here. I feel the hatred that comes from all the eyes of those who follow your command and though there is no hatred in yours – you are very angry. But I don't really think it is just me you are angry at. Could you be angry with yourself as well? Because now they will have to learn the truth. The truth that you never intended to return with them anyway.
I have fallen in love. She is beautiful and though I am just learning her ways, I see so much life in her, in me that we can share together forever. You have opened your heart. You do not want to, and you shake from the fear of it. But I see the tenderness in your eyes when you look at him. A child wanting so much to be a man like you, to imitate you, to prove to you that he can do what you can do. You get angry when he reaches for the gun by your side and he doesn't understand. You try to make him but it is too late.
They came. These people who claim they are gods are here and they are causing death and destruction everywhere. You try to get me away from them. I watch you fight for the lives of your men, of these people. You fight for my life and I am surprised. I am shot. You cannot believe that you have lost another under your care. But I am not dead and this so called god has made one fatal mistake. He has underestimated the power of a man fighting for those he cares about.
He is dead. We have won. We stand and look at each other, not really believing what has happened. You ask me if I will be alright and Shar'e confirms that I will be in her own way. You smile. It is a good look on you. I ask you if you will be alright and you think for a minute. And then you smile again and say yea – you will be. I watch you walk back through the circle of water and I wonder if we will ever see each other again. I am glad that we met. I am glad I got to know you Jack O'Neill. I am glad that I can call you friend.
Returning
A Kleenex box came through the gate today. Skaara brought it to me and I knew what it meant. You are coming back. I don't know why but there must be a problem. You said you would not return but you a coming back. I set up watches and wait. And there you are. You and another team coming to Abydos but I am not sure why.
You walk pass me and straight to Skaara. I kinda expected that but it still hurt a little. Not in a childish way but just because I thought we had made a bond the last time you were here. We sit down together and eat and joke around. You are happy to see all of us and I must admit I am glad in a way to see people from my home world. You start asking questions and I begin to worry. I ask you what is going on and you answer. I do not like the answer you give me.
There is no way Ra is back. We blew him out of the sky. You saw it. I saw it. Hell the whole planet saw it. How can this be. This Doctor you have brought with you seems to know something but she hasn't seen it all yet. I show you both all of the addresses I have found. And suddenly we both understand at the same time what has happened. You look at us confused and we explain it to you. If there were so called gods on this planet – what stops other planets from being the same way. And it clicks. And I am reminded once again that you Colonel are not as dumb as you like to make people think.
You realize the danger we are all in. But it is too late. They have come here and taken away my heart this time. My Sha're is gone. Then I see the look on your face and you realize that Skaara has also been taken and you curse and berate yourself for bringing this fate to these people but we can do something. We must do something to get them back. You will help me get her back. I fight you and you hold onto me because you understand my grief. You understand that I would rather die then live without her. And suddenly I remember a time not too long ago when you were feeling the same way. It is still hard to walk away. But you say we will get them back.
I am back on earth but not for long I hope. I am just here to get permission to go with the team to get Sha're back. Jack fights for me to go with him and finally we are allowed. But nothing works out the way we thought and I fight him because I am having to leave my heart again. He is also having to leave Skaara behind and I see the hunting look in his eyes. The look that makes me think that he thinks himself an idiot for caring again. But it is in his nature and he cannot stop it. Because of his nature we now have a Jaffa fighting on our side. He held out a hand to a man who thought he had everything to loose and now he fights beside us, helping us stop the person he used to think was his god.
We come back through the gate. I look back and he puts a hand on my shoulder. He understands my pain more than I realize. He assures me that we will not stop until they are both back where they belong. I believe him. Because if anyone can do it, Jack can. I believe him because he is my friend and Jack always fights for his friends.