Two hundred years after the defeat of Omega Shenron, life on Earth had finally gotten back to normal. Gohan wrote twenty-five books on the biology and history of the Saiyans, allowing the other races to become aware of past events. Soon after his twenty-sixth book went into production, Gohan was struck down by a rogue boar, leaving his wife and children hapless.
Kneeling in front of Gohan's casket, Oolong wept wildly, feeling guilty that he'd never gotten close to the half-breed. "Gohan, I am so sorry… I always thought you were brilliant!"
A stick of butter slid in between Oolong's plump lips as Mrs. Briefs appeared behind him, caressing the top of his pink head. He purred slowly as she shoved him out of the way, and her bodyguards carried him off. She stared into Gohan's casket, examining his body. She'd done the autopsy, but hadn't been able to truly look at what he'd become after two hundred years of writing books and teaching history for a living. What she saw made her vomit something in her mouth.
No longer did he have the physique of a fighter. No longer did he have a full head of hair. No longer was he nearly six feet tall. No longer was his skin a normal shade of peach. No longer did he have the aura of a champion – a world savior.
He was pathetic, and the onlookers knew this. They didn't dare laugh in front of him, but with their backs turned, their incredible noise reached lengths previously unheard of for the human frequency.
Coldness seeped in through the wide open doorway next to the casket, shriveling Gohan's dead skin past the point of recognition. It was almost as if Mother Nature was messing with him now. She grasped him in her icy grip and whisked him out the door, sliding his body ruthlessly down the high mountain. It slid for days until it eventually reached the bottom, being torn apart by wolves.
Watching idly as her friend's body was taken away, Bulma Briefs smirked, happy to see that bastard get what was coming to him. She'd always secretly hated him for being the spawn of Goku and Chi-Chi, two people she longed to imitate. Her marriage had never been perfect, and seemingly got better when Vegeta died of laughing too hard.
"Did you guys see where Roshi put the skillet? I wanted to make some eggs and rice in celebration, but I can't seem to find any kitchen utensils." Launch was as pretty as ever, which was expected after she'd been drowned in the Fountain of Eternal Youth by Tien, Roshi, Krillin, and Yamcha as a sexually motivated prank.
"Are you stupid? Chi-Chi took all of that stupid people crap with her when she moved to the ocean!" Puar shouted, morphing into a skillet and assaulting Launch as Mrs. Briefs guffawed wickedly.
Suddenly, the roof was torn from atop, and Mr. Briefs jetted in, showering them with his happiness. His smile made everybody else happy, no matter what. "Where did everyone go?" he asked as he landed on top of his wife.
"Goku and Vegeta died six hundred years ago, Dad," Bulma admitted. "Goten was absorbed by Pan and they were both sent to Hell. Trunks died of pancreatic cancer. Piccolo flipped King Yemma the bird and left Hell, only to be killed in a fight with Android 18. How could you forget all that?"
"I guess I just don't care," her father said, rubbing the back of his head.