A/N: Uh. I actually took this pairing as a challenge rather than an inspiring idea, since I wanted to prove myself that it is, in fact, possible to write a Wendy/Kyle-fic. And lo and behold, it was. (/sarcasm) Two things I would like to say: English is not my native language, so if you spot any grammar and/or spelling mistakes, tell me! – and thanks for reading in advance!

Pairings: Kyle/Wendy, mentioned Stan/Annie (Who's that? I don't know either.)

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park... unfortunately and fortunately at the same time.

(Un)Predictable

by eishi (2008)

Kyle Broflovski hated Wendy Testaburger.

It was an universally acknowledged truth, just like "Stan and Kyle are super best friends" and "Eric Cartman is a sociopath" or "Kenny McCormick dies all the time". No one questioned it, because it could be proven any time – in fact, each time the two were forced to stay in the same room, Kyle was the one to leave first and snap to Wendy's face his eternal hatred towards her.

Kyle Broflovski really hated Wendy Testaburger.

Between these two individuals, though, it wasn't very well specified why. Kyle just knew that for some reason he couldn't stand Wendy, and Wendy never did anything to change his opinion. Kyle's best friend Stan reasoned that it had to be because he had dated Wendy for two years back in junior high. "I mostly ignored you that time," he mused to Kyle once. "Maybe you're still subconsciously jealous of Wendy."

But Kyle just shook his head and said that he had never felt neglected when Stan had been dating Wendy. They had still spent lots of their free time together, and actually it had been Wendy who felt neglected in Kyle's favour. That had been the reason for Wendy and Stan's break-up, after all.

Kenny had presented his own bizarre theory for Kyle's unexplainable hate, too. "You hate her, because she once stole your man. You're gay for Stan."

But Kyle just shook his head and said that he was probably the straightest kid in town. Kenny had to admit that much. Compared to Stan (who had once dated a guy just to know what it was like), Craig (who clearly had an affair with Tweek, but was just too ashamed to say it aloud), Butters (who was by turns either completely heterosexual or homosexual, depending on the day), Cartman (who was throughout lost with his sexuality), and Kenny himself (who claimed to be completely heterosexual, but never turned down his gay suitors), Kyle was probably the straightest man in the whole town.

Cartman, of course, didn't even hesitate in his answer. "Simple. You hate her, because she's a bitch."

But Kyle just shook his head and commented that Cartman's reason wasn't a reason at all – it wasn't easy to hate Wendy. She wasn't a bitch, like Cartman put it. She was very ethical, intelligent, caring and gentle person. Even if she was a bit manipulative at times, and too stuck-up because of her excellent grades and boasted a bit too much about the volunteer work she participated in, it was impossible to hate her. It was actually fascinating to watch her mood-switches from arrogance to belittling herself.

And still, Kyle Broflovski utterly, truly, hated Wendy Testaburger.

Any average girl would've been devastated to know that the smartest boy of the town hated you for no reason. Any average girl – but Wendy was no average by any means. She just laughed when people asked why she never did anything to change Kyle's opinion of her.

"He just needs to see what kind of person you really are," Bebe once eagerly explained to Wendy. "He doesn't know the real you."

But Wendy just laughed and said that Kyle knew very well the real her. When Bebe went on to explain that it wasn't true, since there was not a single reason to hate her if one really knew her, Wendy cut Bebe off and said that she didn't care.

"He's jealous of you," Annie thought aloud. "You're smarter than him. You're a threat to him and his grades."

But Wendy just laughed and said that she and Kyle had the exactly same average in school and that they would probably both get a scholarship to university. When Annie went on to nag that Kyle was jealous of her, Wendy cut Annie off and said that she didn't really care.

"He doesn't like the fact that you and Stan are still friends," Nelly offered. "Maybe he's gay for Stan."

But Wendy just laughed and said that Kyle Broflovski would rather die than go gay with his best friend, as would Stan. When Nelly went on to claim that Stan and Kyle would make the best couple ever, Wendy cut Nelly off and said that she didn't honestly care.

Because even if Kyle Broflovski didn't know why he hated Wendy, Wendy Testaburger herself knew very well why Kyle didn't hate her.

There were three significant encounters between the two before the situation changed.

The first one was at the beginning of high school. Kyle and Wendy were both competing on being the captain of the debate team, but in the end, Kyle won the vote. After the meeting of the club was over, Wendy went to Kyle and congratulated him for his narrow victory. She froze when she saw the murderous look in Kyle's eyes.

"You don't have to play the saint, you know," Kyle snapped at her. "Why don't you just hiss at me like you'd really like to do?"

"I... I don't want to..." She fell silent. "I didn't think the position of the captain was that important to you."

"It's not," Kyle shrugged and grimaced at her. "I just hate you, that's all."

Wendy stared as he stepped out of the classroom, and the whole world was suddenly whirring in her ears. That murderous look Kyle had just sent her and that cold tone he had used – she had never in her life experienced something like that.

She was silent for a moment, and then screamed, rather irrationally, aloud: "That's not fair! You can't just coldly state that you hate me and then escape! It's not fair!"

From that day on, Kyle always made sure to remind her of his hatred in one way or another; he wouldn't sit in the same table as her, carefully chose his place in the classroom so that they were on the opposite sides of the room and excused himself if they were forced to be in the same crowd of friends. At first, Wendy was so surprised and confused that didn't do anything to stop him. When she finally adjusted to the situation, she decided that it was Kyle's problem – not hers. She wouldn't move. Let him switch the table if he wished, but she wouldn't move.

Then came the second incident. During one history lesson, they were forced to be a pair to make a short presentation of the events in Europe during the year 1937. Wendy was horrified when she heard that they were paired up – Kyle would probably make a scene and refuse to work with her. She was already ready to face the humiliation, but Kyle wordlessly just moved next to her and suggested that they should start from labelling the events in each country and then make a summary of the main events.

Wendy blinked, then sighed in relief and got to work. They managed to make the whole presentation without a single glare, gritting of teeth or stomping out of the classroom, and both received an A. When the lesson ended, Wendy made her way to Kyle.

"Thank you," she simply said. Kyle stopped packing his bag for a second to shot her an impassive look, but didn't reply. Wendy wrinkled her brows in frustration. "I don't get it. One minute you're acting all civil and nice, and the next..." When Kyle didn't reply, she continued: "What... why did you just...?"

"Even if I hate you," he stated in such a cold manner that it made her shudder, "I don't yet want to ruin my average. I just needed that A." Smirk. "That's all."

He left the classroom, and once again, Wendy was left alone with no answers and a nagging feeling in the back of her brain that something just wasn't right. There just was something more in this than Kyle let her on.

Things were quiet after that, but Wendy was noticing Kyle more than usual. She watched him when he ate, did his homework in the corridors... and the more she observed, the surer she became.

The third incident occurred when they were in the second year of high school. That time it was very rare that they had to sit together during lunch, as their friends had been informed of the situation more than once. This time was an exception, though, because the new-formed couple – Stan and Annie – had begged on their friends to sit together for a while and get to know each other. Kenny and Cartman hadn't objected, since they had nothing against Annie's friends, i.e. Wendy, Bebe and Nelly. Kyle, on the other hand, had gritted his teeth until Stan had whispered Kyle that if he didn't come, the whole school would soon know how deeply in love him and Cartman were and how they would get married as soon as they got their mothers' blessings. Wendy was forced to come, because her "friends" practically threatened to rip her insides out and make a football of them if she didn't show up.

As they all sat together, chatting and laughing, Cartman just couldn't keep his mouth shut and comment how he had now received himself a rival. "Poor Kahl here has the hardest time deciding on whom he hates more, me or you, Wendeyh."

Wendy snapped right back at him: "I don't quite think that this is some kind of a rivalry, Cartman. It only makes you seem even more pathetic."

"Don't be so modest, ho. You're a real threat to me, you know – you can be really evil, if you only want to..."

"That's not true, Cartman," she hissed, desperately trying to control her fists to not hit Cartman in the face, "I have very high morals—"

"High morals my ass. You have sent a substitute teacher into the sun, injured your opponent to be the class president, tricked a bunch of thieves to release a cattle of cows—"

"Which were to be slaughtered, just because the owner had lost his interest in keeping them!"

"Don't interrupt me, ho. The bottom line is that you've done many pretty awful things." He smirked evilly. "It's not a bad thing. We all know that you just lust after the power and authoritayh."

Wendy was fuming, but tried to control her temper because of Annie and Stan – poor things looked like this was their own fault, which it naturally was, but there was no need to say it aloud. Just when she was opening her mouth to shout Cartman to go fuck himself, Kyle monotonously commented:

"There is no competition over that, Cartman. At least Wendy's not trying to murder me every few weeks."

They all stared at him, including Wendy, whose fists had now opened and who had calmed down by his mere voice. Kyle continued to eat his lunch, undisturbed, but Wendy saw something flicker behind his indifferent green eyes that made her consider his strange behaviour again.

She was now sure that how much Kyle insisted on it, he didn't really hate her. Not really.

It was on the last year of high school that things finally changed between them, with a little help of the Lady Fortune.

As their most significant assignment of the year in English, they were supposed to make a presentation of the style of some famous writer. The pairs were chosen by drawing lots, and by coincidence, Wendy and Kyle ended up being a pair. At the lesson where they were to choose their topic and plan their presentation a little, Kyle was acting pretty normal and civil towards her – but the second the lesson ended, he ran out of the room, face glowing in red and a grimace on his face. Wendy smiled a bit; this was going to be interesting.

She showed up that afternoon at Kyle's house, politely traded the obligatory lines with his mother and was invited in. In three minutes, she had won over his whole family: his father was delighted to see that Kyle could, in fact, communicate with girls; his mother was delighted to notice that she wasn't just an airhead and actually possessed something called 'opinions'; his brother was delighted to speak with a mature girl, who was still ready to play video games with him, despite her overwhelming age.

The only one whom she didn't win over was Kyle, but she had suspected as much. Kyle kept his act together when his family was in the same room, but the second they left his smile became a scowl and blush of embarrassment a red glow of rage. Wendy sighed.

"I just came here to give you these," she said and handed Kyle a pile of papers. "The teacher thought that these notes might help us. Joyce isn't the easiest of writers, after all."

Kyle took the notes, carefully avoiding an accidental touch of hands. "If there's nothing else, you should probably leave." With that, he turned and marched right out of the room. Wendy sighed again and followed him to the door.

"What's with the rush?" she asked, fixing her scarf as she went. Kyle opened the door to her, a smirk on his face again.

"No real reason. I just hate you so much that I can't bear being in the same room for five minutes."

Wendy pursed her lips and eyed Kyle with interest. The smirk on his lips had begun to fade and the angry look was being replaced with something Wendy couldn't name. The stare was broken when a voice yelled from the living room:

"Kyle, be a gentleman and walk Wendy back! And buy some milk on your way home!"

Wendy started giggle, but fell silent pretty quickly when she saw Kyle's murderous look. Kyle was trembling – he clearly didn't want to spend any more time with her, but on the other hand, didn't have the courage to refuse his mother's request. Scowling, he took his jacket and slammed the door shut after them.

At least Kyle was that much of a gentleman that he let Wendy choose the pace they were walking, even if Wendy could tell that he would have much rather ran to the store and back and leave her behind. She glanced at him: he had left in such a hurry that wasn't even wearing any gloves or a hat, and had now stuffed his hands in the pockets of his brown jacket. The falling snow was slowly sticking to his hair, making the red mess of locks look weirdly adorable. Wendy smiled a bit, but turned her head away before Kyle noticed that.

"Why do you claim to hate me?" Wendy asked, when her house was starting to near them. Kyle rolled his eyes.

"That's like asking why Stan pukes on everyone he likes. It's a biological reaction."

"Biological?" Wendy repeated. She was a bit confused that Kyle was even answering her, but was now glad he did. Kyle glared at her.

"What else would you call it when every time I see you, my stomach starts to turn and rage fills my head? Or that feeling of nausea that kicks in every time you near me?" He smiled bitterly, and Wendy openly stared at him – they had stopped by now, to right in front of Wendy's house. After a brief silence, Wendy smiled at him.

"I'd say that you don't know physical attraction from nauseating, Einstein," she said, taking a few steps towards him. Kyle backed up at once, his face starting to glow in red again. "Either that or you're homosexual to the extreme."

She pecked him on the lips, gave him a small smile and whirled around. She held her laughter until she was safely in her house again, door closed behind her. The look she had received! As if Kyle couldn't really decide which one was worse: to be attracted to her or being gay.

Her mother interrupted her bursts of laughter by asking her why there was a boy standing in front of their house and mouthing words to himself. This only made Wendy laugh even more furiously.

The next day at school Kyle seemed to be a bit more quiet than usual. As they didn't have an English lesson, Wendy really didn't have any excuse to go talk to him and only had to observe him from afar. At lunch she was very pleased to notice that her bold move was already paying itself back: Kyle didn't move away when she sat to the same table. On the downside, he ignored her completely, but she had somewhat expected that.

On their next English lesson Kyle didn't even once look her in the eyes, but they still managed to do their project accordingly. When they were leaving, though, Wendy looked over her shoulder by chance and saw that Kyle was staring after her. When he saw her gaze, he lowered his at once – but Wendy was still pleased.

Few more English lessons were spent like this: Kyle and her managed to get their entire job done, but Kyle didn't say anything unnecessary or unrelated to the topic. Wendy was starting to worry a bit; she hadn't ruined their (nonexistent) relationship completely, had she? If the options were that 1) Kyle hated her and showed it clearly and 2) Kyle hated her and ignored her completely, she would rather take the option 1. Sadly, the decision was not in her hands.

A week had passed since their talk, and Wendy was now ignoring Kyle, too. Instead, she had concentrated on their English project – despite Kyle's behaviour, she wanted to get an A, and that meant that she would have to do much work on her own. She was looking for research material about James Joyce at the school library, when a familiar figure approached her.

"I think you were right," Kyle muttered. He was standing on Wendy's right, his back crouched and hands in his pockets, and what was most frustrating in Wendy's opinion, his look directed at the ground instead of her. "Either I don't know the difference between hate and love..." Wendy almost dropped the book that was in her hand – Kyle had lifted his eyes to meet hers and that look of irony and passion nearly blinded her. "... or then I just like the mixture of it."

Wendy stared at him, unable to understand his strange statement for a second, but then it hit her and she wasn't able to hold back her smile of relief. "I kind of knew that all along."

"Was it that obvious?"

"Pretty much," she laughed. Kyle took the book from her and placed it on the nearby table. Wendy blinked: they were suddenly standing so close that their noses touched.

"You know, I might not be able to hold back my outbursts of hate towards you," Kyle whispered, sarcastic smirk on his lips. "Do you think you can live with that?"

She smirked right back at him. "As long as you can live with my mood-swings."

Kyle lifted his brows. "I can try."

"Then I see no problem," Wendy muttered. She found it pretty hard to focus on talking when Kyle was looking right at her with those unbelievably green eyes. He was so close... Wendy closed her eyes, ready for the approaching kiss. When nothing came, Wendy opened her other eye, confused. Kyle was still staring at her.

"Is that a pimple on your nose?"

Rage hit her on full force, and she grabbed his collar and mercilessly shoved him against the bookshelf. "Kyle Broflovski, I really hate you!"

"Hate you too," Kyle managed to say, before Wendy shut him up with a wet kiss.

Needless to say, two very predictable things happened after that.

They did, indeed, receive an A of their James Joyce presentation, although their "study lessons" before the presentation itself had been wasted on something completely unrelated to the topic. And, naturally, their friends looked like Kenny had survived a whole day without getting into an accident and without receiving any love letters when they told the news. Cartman burst out laughing and said that in the end, Kyle did really hate her more.

Unpredictably, it was this time Stan who smacked Cartman in the head and told him to shut up.

End.