Akatsuki robes flapped soundlessly in the wind.
To Sasuke, though, they did make a sound.
To Naruto, however, the sound seemed similar to Sasuke sighing something rudely.
"Whaddya mean?" he said, prodding Sasuke.
"Don't touch me," Sasuke hissed, walking a bit faster on the edge of a bridge south of Hidden Leaf.
"Oh, I get it- you're upset because I'm the leader of this mission!"
"Be quiet, I am trying to pay attention to something other than you."
"C'mon, you stick in the mud!" Naruto picked up a loose brick, and, so he perceived it, cleverly hid it in his pocket.
It seemed obvious a number of things were clouding Sasuke's mind now. Majorly, instead of impending danger, he now thought of how churlish (utterly childish) and hellish his blonde teammate was… hellish, in this usage, meaning that the individual of interest was likely come from a fiery pit of monkeys and ugly clowns that never ceased to bring continuous waves of desperation and annoyance unto any person within range.
A brunette youth was approaching the boys down the bridge at a leisurely pace. Sasuke's attention was split; he heard Naruto's irrelevant yammering, barely felt the Akatsuki member's presence, and now the person nearing him seemed to be picking up a faster pace. Sasuke paused and flicked his bangs out of his eyes. At the same time, Naruto threw the brick, and the brunette ahead of them broke into a full-out gallop. Sasuke manages to dodge the brick, of course, but not the brunette. The stranger slammed into Sasuke as he leaned to avoid Naruto's throw, and fell backward over the bridge's edge. Naruto grabbed Sasuke around the ankles, yelling, "I gotcha, Sasuke!"
The brunette clung to Sasuke's upper half. The raven-haired preteen attempted to push him off, shouting at both juveniles to let go of him. Squeaking, the brunette wrapped his arms and legs around Sasuke's torso, shrieking, "Water; I can't swim!"
Sasuke pushed the brunette off him, and found it to be a girl, by the texture and size of the chest he so hastily thrust into the rushing river below. In disentangling himself, he kicked Naruto, who released his hold and let Sasuke fall. Sasuke landed on top of the girl, and again found himself in a tangle of arms and legs. Easily, he could have swum out of the current, but with an additional ninety-five pounds on his neck choking him, he found this impossible. The two struggled against each other and the current until, well down the stream, Sasuke ceased moving and attempted to give the girl a foothold, gasping, "Just grab on, I'll have us both out."
She scrambled onto his back and held fast to his neck with crushing force. The water pulled them downstream farther while Sasuke slowly managed to drift toward the shore. He waded into mid-calf-deep water on his hands and knees, there he dug a fingernail into the girl's wrist, growling, "Get. Off."
A tremendous weight left his windpipe as she slid off. She looked at him, breathing normally while he desperately sucked air by the lungful. Wondering if he should hit her, Sasuke looked back at her. Her eyes widened and she mumbled quickly, "Ah, thanks a lot!" She bolted into the bushes, kicking water and sand at Sasuke.
With the weight of his wet clothes bearing on his somewhat-weary and oxygen-deprived body, Sasuke rose and glanced behind him; muscular torso, black-and-red coat, towering form, an appendage already in motion.
"Oh, shi–"
Thud. Not a smack, or a slap, or a whack—well, maybe a whack! sounds cooler—but a casual, thud was about all it took for this Akatsuki member to knock out a soaked, bedraggled 12-year-old Sasuke Uchiha.
*Insert suspenseful music that makes people want to see a movie that is actually quite crappy and will waste their lives*
Splash! (Not a sploosh, or a—well, actually a drip is more truthful but splash! is more dramatic as a paragraph-starter.) went a fat drop of foul-smelling liquid. Sasuke's head was tilted backward; he felt it travel across his cheek and slip into his nostril. He jolted onto his side, meaning to push himself upright; instead he bruised his ribs rolling over the hard edge of a platform, and fell fourteen inches to flat, hard ground. Sasuke opened his eyes and found the room still dark. He tore at his face, half-covered with a cold, damp towel. He looked round; he was in a low-ceiling rectangular room with one shaggy rug pushed to the side, filtered sunlight came from a tall but thin (in width) window stretched from the floor to the ceiling. The thin outline of a door could be seen, no door handle existed. He had fallen from a metal bunk bed, above him he saw Naruto dangling his legs over the side of the bed, wolfing down a bowl of ramen messily.
"You so shwupid, Sh'ay," Naruto snickered through a mouthful of noodles.
Sasuke wiped noodle-juice off his face, hissing, "Moron, what happened?"
"Well, they said this was three days old but I said, hey, ramen is ramen!"
Sasuke struggled to contain himself, snarling, "Naruto!"
Naruto wrapped his arms around the ramen. "Mine!"
The door slid open audibly.
Sasuke's wide shirt-collar was grabbed from behind. "You mindless thing," a voice called. "He's still soaking wet!"
"Listen to my voice, un! Do I sound like I care?" Deidara called from down a hallway.
Kisame replied, "Do you know what pneumonia is?"
"Do you know what the recovery time of those guys is? Quit messing with 'em, un!"
"Thirty minutes, so what time is it?"
"I don't know!"
"Well go check!" Kisame yelled. He muttered lowly, "Dumb blonde…"
Minutes later, another voice called, "They have five minutes. Just have Deidara deal with the sick one, it's his fault anyway."
Sasuke found that throughout the exchange of words, he could barely support his weight; he was shivering terribly with cold.
"Nah, I'll take care of it."
Kisame yanked Sasuke along. Naruto wiggled his feet, waving. Sasuke lifted his hand far enough to curl all but his middle digit at the baka.