Disclaimer: I do not own Hunger Games or any of the characters. All rights go to Suzanne Collins and Haux for his song 'Cologne' which was the inspo for this.
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It was early morning.
Early enough that the Capitol was still asleep but late enough that the first few beams of sunlight began to warm their cold tiled floor.
It rained the previous night so they left open the large glass doors that lead to the balcony. Normally, neither of them paid much attention to the rain- it was something natural and it occurred fairly regularly in their District. But when she realized that that might be the last time she would ever hear or smell or feel rain that wasn't constructed to kill them, she pushed open the doors without saying anything. No words had to leave her mouth for him to understand her reasoning. He was also about to crack open the doors but she beat him to it.
Now, in the early morning, as the sun began to warm the cool air that had stayed in their room overnight, they were silently resting- him on top of her, comfortable, just like they had always been.
That was one thing she had always appreciated about them- they never felt pressure to speak around each other. They were more than comfortable with each other in the silence. After all, the silence was what their relationship was first built around.
Neither of them was asleep. He kept his eyes closed, trying to soak in and remember every moment he had with her. She was resting against the pillow behind them, thinking about their next few days.
They had separate bedrooms- no one would have considered that the two Tributes from 2 would want a room together. They weren't supposed to be with each other. It was ridiculous and unheard of that two Careers would be interested in anything other than training so they kept it a secret. And they were fine with that. What they had was precious and they refused to risk corrupting it by announcing their relationship to the world. So they kept it a secret and stole glances and smiles and, if they were fortunate enough, their hands would brush against each other so quickly that no one would notice. He would sneak into her room at night- not like a thief come to rob but like a man worn down from battle returning to his home.
She traced her hands across his back. He squeezed his eyes tighter in a desperate attempt to remember her like this- them like this. Her fingers were still tracing invisible lines across his broad back when she whispered, "If time could only take us back… would you take me back?"
He understood her question. If they went back in time, they could avoid being Careers and avoid the horrible mess that was the Hunger Games. But if they went back, they would never have met. Neither of them would have met someone who understood themselves so perfectly that they could speak multitudes of words with a single glance.
He understood her question. Would he give up knowing her and loving her and being loved by her if their lives would be spared? He realized that this was the question which had kept her up all last night, tossing and turning.
"Would you?" Her voice, barely audible, registered in his ears.
Her name had been called first. Of course, no one had volunteered for her- she was the best female tribute District 2 could offer. He was expecting everything to go into slow motion but it was all happening too fast. She was already on the stage and the male tribute's name was being called and it wasn't his. He briefly registered the tribute's name as a boy his age who would have fared just fine in the Games so it surprised everyone when he slammed into the people in front of him calling out that he volunteered.
She watched as he practically body-slammed the crowd in order to get to the stage. She listened as he yelled that he would take the boy's place. Her face remained emotionless while he climbed the stage but when they shook hands, another little piece of her died. Only one victor.
He had left the lakes he had known to follow her. To follow her on her death journey to the Capitol. Only to be with her. She was furious at him for volunteering but she was relieved that he would be with her for this. She was scared.
He didn't answer her question. They both knew that they would lose someway or another in her scenario. So they continued lying in bed for as long as they could. The overwhelming sadness and terror of what the next few days would bring hung in the air while rays of sun climbed up from the floor to his bare back and to her face.
She leaned forward to place a kiss on top of his head. They had a party last night which left them both so exhausted that they had climbed into bed without showering. He had fallen asleep immediately while she couldn't close her eyes from much longer than a few seconds.
The remnants of his cologne hung to him like a favorite shirt.
"I don't know what's going to happen," his typically even voice was camouflaged behind his gravelly morning voice. She was about to speak up, to argue that they were both going to make it out of the Games alive. "Listen, I want you to," he struggled to find words that could bring her comfort in case the Games went wrong. So horribly, devastatingly wrong. "Remember cologne when it's late at night… you're alone and you're not feeling right."
One of the only times that they went shopping into town for something other than weaponry or bandages was to buy him cologne. When he bought his first bottle of cologne, which was special because it was like a delicacy in the Districts, she had scrunched her nose the first time she smelled it on him at an event. He had laughed and joked that he had finally found something to repel her. She laughed along with him and thought nothing more of it. He, however, didn't forget it. So the next opportunity he had to buy cologne he made her come with him. She thought they were going to look at a new sword he liked so she was surprised when he pulled her into the shop that sold the little bottles.
But she simply grinned at him before going through the entire store and picking out one.
She loved the smell of rain, the occasional flower, the smell of her knives when she sharpened them, the smell of her sweat because she worked hard- she loved a lot of different scents. A week later, she saw him dressed up at a party for another District 2 victor. The spray he wore immediately became her favorite when they were able to dance without turning heads. To everyone else, they were just two Careers having a good time. To them, they were alone in the world while they had their first dance.
So he wanted her to remember his cologne. Not because of the smell- though it was an enrapturing scent- but because he wanted her to remember the few times they were able to be as free as possible together. "Remember cologne," he had whispered. And if it came to remembering and not being with him, she would remember cologne.
She had a horrible upbringing which wasn't unusual for children in any of the districts. She had grown up calloused and angry and somehow became more calloused and angry when she had entered the Academy. It was her safe haven. She could be there for as long as she wanted. She could spend days there and no one would bat an eye. "Devoted," "Hard," "Killer," "Victor," they had called her. She was those things. But she was broken. She was abused. She was hurting. She didn't want to be hard or a killer. She didn't want to become someone others feared. But in order to protect herself, she did.
She grew a new skin to protect herself. Inside the Academy, she was the toughest, most lethal Career anyone had seen in a long time. So after several years of training, she was set against a boy older, larger, and stronger than her. Day after day they spent fighting each other. They rarely spoke; they were there to become killers, not friends. However, after some time, she realized that the boy she was punching didn't enjoy punching her. And she froze.
She never froze which is why he anticipated her blocking his throw. Instead, his fist crashed into the side of her head and knocked her out.
After she woke up, they sat on a bench while she iced the large goose-egg forming on the side of her head. "Here, kiddo," he had handed her the ice pack. He didn't mean it in a mean way- he called her kiddo to remind himself that she, like him and everyone, was just a child. Unlike everyone else, though, her age never stopped her from beating everyone at the Academy in nearly every event.
They began to talk more after that. Soon, they became so inseparable that it was unusual to see one of them without the other. Because of him, she shed a skin she used to live within.
When it was bad at her house, she could be caught running from nights she couldn't live again. Some thought she was running away but he knew she was trying to find a friend. He opened the door to her and welcomed her in with a simple, "Hey, kiddo." And they would go into his backyard and train.
When she lost him in the Games, she froze for only the second time in her life. They fired his cannon but they might as well have fired hers.
Before the big male tribute from 11 could hit her again, he charged in and tackled Thresh to the ground. She tried to stand up to help him but everything was spinning and her vision was turning black. She panicked when she heard him yell. She shook her head to try to focus. When her vision finally stabilized, she saw Thresh hitting him with a rock, just like he had done with her. She was quick to grab a knife and flick it into his neck. While the boy from 11 collapsed, she stumbled over to her lover.
She cradled him in her arms and tried to wash the blood off of his face. He was trying to be brave- she knew it. He couldn't care less about dying but he was terrified of going somewhere without her. He didn't want to leave her in the arena alone, he managed to get out. She could only hold him tighter.
They shared one last gentle kiss and whispered "I love you" before his body relaxed and he began to grow cold.
She stayed with his body for as long as she could until the game makers forced her away with tracker jackers. The skin she had shed- the calloused killer from District 2, the most lethal Career the Academy had seen in decades was back and she no longer had anything to lose.
So she hunted.
She hunted and she killed every single person she came upon, never giving them a chance to fight or flee. When her victims heard her and turned to face her she saw him in their eyes. She saw that they were scared children pitted against each other with their lives on the line. So she killed them quickly and painlessly. It's what he would have done.
And slowly, with each kill, her skin began to shed again. She started to become the girl she was just a few weeks ago- the girl who held her lover in her arms while she contemplated things no child should ever have to contemplate.
When the two lovers from District 12 died trying to save each other she was envious that they would never know the pain she felt.
When she returned to the Capitol and was crowned sole victor she couldn't remember cologne. She could only smell roses.
Before she returned to District 2, she went into his room at the Capitol and of everything sent with him, she only cared for a single bottle which she would hold onto with her life.
Her new home in District 2 was large and beautiful. But without him, it was cold and dark. The sun never quite reached her room and the smell of the District was too horrible to leave the windows open. Her bed was too large and too empty with just her in it. She never thought she would miss almost being thrown off the bed every single night because of just how large he was. But oh god how she missed it. How she missed him.
One particular night, a month after the Games, she was sitting on the floor by her bed. The entire house was dark except for the dying fire in her fireplace she had started long ago. She sat remembering cologne. When she looked at the spot on the floor opposite her, she saw him. She knew it was only her imagination but she couldn't help the hope that rose in her throat at the sight of the achingly familiar blue eyes that smiled at her in the dark.
"Will you stay?" She asked. "Till the dust turns to flames?"
They sat in silence until she held out the bottle that was more precious to her than life itself. "Do you remember what you said to me that morning in the Capitol?" He nodded. "I remember cologne… when it's late at night and I'm alone and I'm not feeling right- I remember it. I remember you." He looked at her with sad eyes. "This forgotten love," she was desperately trying to keep a steady voice. "Our forgotten love… I remember it." They sat in silence for hours, maybe minutes, until the fire gained another life and he lost his again and disappeared. A single tear escaped her. It was the first time she had allowed herself to cry.
She began to plan the next day. She had heard whispers of District 13 and she was confident in them. So she finally agreed to go on the Victory tour.
She traveled to every district, fighting to keep it together until they reached the Capitol. She was given the same floor she had before the Games. She couldn't bring herself to sleep in their room so she slept on the sofa.
When she met Snow the next day, she almost backed out. She had allowed herself to be the person he had helped her become. She was no longer a killer or someone to fear. She was simply a girl who had lost everything in the Games. She was someone who was trying to stay sane despite her mind creating a ghost of her love every night. She was trying to remember what it was like to wake up next to him, to hold and be held by him, to train with him, to talk with him, to laugh with him, to live life with him-
But as she walked into Snow's office she could no longer remember cologne. She could only smell the roses. It was at that moment that she decided to put an end to everything, not just for her sake, but for everyone's sake. To stop the oppression, to stop the starvation, to stop the Hunger Games.
She pulled out her knives and killed his guards before Snow even had time to greet her. She lunged at him and pulled him closer to her by his tie.
"I can only smell the roses." And she cried when she ended his life.
The guards outside Snow's office heard the commotion and rushed in.
"I'm going home," She said with a smile so sad the guards hesitated before killing her.
She opened her eyes to a house in a meadow with flowers. The air smelled like rain but the sun was out and she was warm. She watched the front door open and in a blink of an eye, she bounded up the stairs and collapsed into him.
"Hey, kiddo," Cato whispered to Clove as she took a deep breath and remembered cologne.