A short little thing I found in my documents and didn't hate. I'm going on holiday tomorrow so I won't be around for a while, mwah don't forget me darlings. Hope this little nugget will tide you over!

The title is an Avril Lavigne song. Not mine. The quote at the end is a Frank Turner song which you should ALL listen to because I had it on repeat whilst writing this and it's pretty fantastic. It's called Photosynthesis. Bisousssssssssssss x

here's to never growing up

Or, the times Jess calls Nick a child. Both the good, and the not so good.

"A stupid, childish thing to do..." She first calls him a child at the wedding. She thinks he played a part in the sabotage, which, sure stings a bit (didn't she see that he was trying to be better, for her?) but what really cuts deep is the moment that he thinks he's done a perfect Nick Miller fuck up, and lost her.

Nick knows that children don't drown their troubles with a bottle of Heisler, but as he orders a bottle of beer at the bar he distinctly feels like the most jerkiest kid in all of existence, even worse than Bobby Matthews from first grade that took pleasure in systematically snapping every one of his brand new crayola crayons.

When she kisses away his doubt leaning against the side of her car, and her keys are clutched in her hand that is against Nick's shoulder (the stabbing metal in his shoulder is the only thing that is not a dream, she is real and she is choosing him) he is hit with the sudden realisation that if this was growing up, then it's not all that bad. Perhaps Nick would give being an adult a try.

"Nicholas Miller, you are a child." She tells him again when they're a few weeks into dating. He stiffens and her eyes widen just slightly, the connotations of the words hitting them both with the force of a collapsing building. Nick takes a minute to look at her, her pale skin contrasting with the dark green of his sheets, looking infinitely small wrapped up in his arms. His face softening he stoops and presses a soft kiss against the column of her throat, the soft flannel of the shirt (his shirt) that she had donned rubbing softly against the underside of his jaw. She giggles and it's the loveliest sound he's ever heard, and as he wracks his brain for adjectives to describe his Jessica, it all centres on that one word. Lovely.

He whispers it into her skin again and again and again as he resumes the relentless tickling that brought about her declaration in the first place, and the world ceases to exist as he loses himself in the ocean waves of her hair.

"Put 'em up partner!" Jess shouts as Schmidt burst through the door, causing him to shriek in an entirely unmanly way. Clutching his heart as he straightens himself up, his eyes narrows at Nick and Jess' shared laughter.

"That was not funny. I am carrying hot liquids!" Schmidt complains, gesturing to his coffee. "This could have had very dire consequences my friends. If I had chosen to wear one of my lighter summer suits..."

"Lighten up, Schmidtty!" Nick calls from his place next to Jess. Schmidt tuts sorrowfully.

"What is even going on here?" Schmidt bursts angrily, gesturing to the pile of blankets and pillows surrounding the pair.

"We built a fort."

"A FORT?"

"Yeah, a fort."

"Imbeciles." Schmidt spat, glancing at his phone. "Hey, where's Winston?"

"IT'S BROWN LIGHTNING!" Came a cry from under a large pile of sheets, as Winston appears clutching a home made spear out of a taped up sweeping brush and feather duster. Schmidt remained still for a few moments, his expression passive, before he erupted into a large grin, loosening his tie and securing it around his forehead and leaping into the mass of sheets.

"I demand residency in a steeple!"

"Why have you got to be such a child, Nick?" She spits it at him in a way he knows is meant to hurt, and it really does. It hurts more than the first time, because now he'd had her and held her so close and he knows that she really likes when he kisses the spot just above her bellybutton and that she has a freckle on her inner right thigh.

They had been out to dinner, and it had all been going well until once again, the worst had to happen.

"Jess, is that?" Nick sighs and rubs his eyes tiredly as the face comes more into view, as Jess leans across the table to grab his hand, her eyes crumpled up in concern. His gaze snaps up to meet hers. "Fancyman in 3, 2 aaaaaaannnnnnnnnnd..."

"Jess, is that you?" Jess jumps at the hand on her shoulder, too concerned at the panic in Nick's eyes to pay attention to the figure approaching her.

"Russell! Of course!" Nick barks, and rapidly drinks the rest of his scotch. Slamming his glass down he turns to face the older man, flinching at how damn good he looks. How does that man manage it at all damn situations?

"So..." The awkwardness swells between them, as Russell speaks. "How are you guys?" Jess sighs as Nick moves to down the rest of her drink, too.

"GREAT." Nick bellows, before Jess can speak. "We're great. In fact more than great, if you know what I'm saying." Nick winks then internally screams at the inappropriateness of his words, the shocked stare Jess had fixed him with only confirming his folly. But, the booze and the Nick Miller like stupidness combined, and he just seemed unable to stop. "The sex is really great. Like really great. Jess here is a real firecracker, but I guess you'd know that, ey buddy." Nick elbows Russell in the side, Russell letting out an awkward yelp of laughter. Jess' face had darkened into a deep blush as tears began to swell in her eyes, out of embarrassment and sheer mortification. Good ol' Nick Miller, however seemed simply unable to stop. "...and I mean, it's not just a casual friends with benefits kind of thing that we have going on. You know what Russell? You're dumb for letting her go. Dumb. And that's coming from me, ol' Nick..." Before Nick could finish, Jess leaps from her seat and beelines for the door, sobs escaping her as she ran.

"Jess, no wait." Nick shouts after her, moving to follow her out of the restaurant. Russell catches his arm just as he turns to leave an just looks at him for this long moment, the weight of his years lining his face. And Nick can see it, he can see the line that was caused by Jessica Day, because that's all she was to Russell now. Past.

"Thanks, man."

Nick fled the restaurant. He would make Jessica Day his future.

"Why have you got to be such a child, Nick?" Nick's struck dumbstruck for a minute, because the heavy LA air had been broken by a downpour, thick dark droplets falling from the sky. And like every stinking cliché that there ever had been, Jess had never looked more beautiful. Soaked to the skin but radiant, the street lights glow humming off the droplets making her glow like she'd swallowed the sun.

"That was the single most embarrassing moment of my life back there, Nick!" Nick numbly looks at his hands, summoning the courage to finally get real with her. "Why, why would you do that to me?"

"Because I'm in love with you, Jessica." She gasps at his words but her features don't soften, and Nick oddly feels bigger than he ever had before. "I got nervous, and stupid and down right ridiculous because I'm in love with you." He takes a step toward her, but Jess takes one back.

"I was going to tell you tonight, maturely, over dinner. Then Russell shows up and it's just like the first time all over again. I got nervous, and a little drunk and totally intimidated, because I will never be that guy, Jess." Nick laughs and moves to sit on the sidewalk, ignoring the rain. "I will never be a Fancyman. Or as mature and put together as Russell. You deserve that, not some childish idiot." He feels the air move next to him as she sits beside him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I love you, you enormous goofball." She twines their fingers together. "Not Russell. Or anybody else. You." She punctuates her statement with a long hard kiss to his lips. He can taste raindrops and champagne bubbles on her tongue.

"You're a child, Nick." Nick doesn't hear her for a second, his eyes solely focused on the asshole in front of him, and the feel of said asshole's shirt scrunched in his fist, and how much he wanted to punch this guy so hard he'd be seeing out of the back of his head for weeks.

"Yeah, man, you're blowing this way out of proportion." The asshole gasped out, shooting a glance at Jess that was almost pleading. Nick had to restrain himself from ripping the guys eyes' out, so that he could never ever dream about so much as looking at her again.

"Let. Him. Go. Nick." Jess whispers, her voice dangerously low. She was mad. Nick's mind spun for a minute. Why was she protecting this guy? Hadn't she seen the way he was looking at her all night? Nick had. Sliding up to her and asking her to dance. Grabbing at her waist during the fast songs when he thought she wouldn't notice. Nick had. Jess of course, in her Jess way of being fundamentally good an trusting, had only seen a sweet guy who had asked her to dance.

The straw that broke the camel's back was when Nick overheard a conversation the guy was having with a friend at the bar.

"I mean, she seems pretty up for it, man." Asshole said to his friend, leering at Jess who danced close by with Cece. Nick moved closer and tightened his grip on the bar cloth.

"But..." Now Asshole moved closer to his friend to whisper in his ear, but Nick was too focused on his lips to miss the next action. "I always have these to persuade her." Asshole pulled out a bag of what looked like pills to his friend and smirked, tucking them back in his pocket. Nick missed Cece spinning round from her perch on the bar with panic in her eyes seeing only red, with bile rising in his throat he grabbed Asshole by the front of his shirt and snarled.

"What the fuck did you just say?"

Now they were here. And Jess was looking at him with these big eyes all misted with anger and disappointment, the way she looked at him when he was moving back with Caroline, and the way she looked at him when she thought he was in on the sabotage.

"Stop being so childish and jealous, Nick! Everyone's looking!" Jess snapped, tugging on his forearms to get him to release Asshole, who was now turning a satisfying shade of purple. The bar was silent. Nick felt a million eyes burn into his as he released his grip, the guy stumbling forward and grabbing Jess for support. Nick instinctively lunged forward to pull her away, but she shrunk away from him.

"No, Nick! Don't touch me!" She turned her attention back to Asshole. "Hey, James are you okay?"

Nick swirled around and left the bar, Jess' 'don't touch me' ringing in his ears like an amber song.

Nick collapsed into bed as soon as he got home, punching the headboard in fury. He let his temper get the better of him, yet again, and now he'd probably lost her, forever. Rolling over onto his side he balled his eyes up tight, willing sleep to come and take him as far away from the mess he had gotten himself into as possible.

"Nick, NICK!" He expected the dreams of her to come. "Nicholas." Something wet on his cheek. Tears. Jess' tears. His eyes opened slowly to see her fully clothed and clinging onto him desperately, tears streaming down her face and her head buried into his neck, pressing kisses all along his jawline.

"Jess," He sighed tiredly, and put a finger under her chin to make her look him in the face.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. " She murmured, peppering each sentiment with a kiss to his face. Cheek, forehead, nose. It was intoxicating. Her hands moved to clutch at his hair. "Cece told me everything, about James and what he was going to... do to me." Her voice quivered at this and his heart broke, pressing a kiss to her cheek and catching a tear. "You were right. You were trying to look after me. I'm so sorry."

"Jess, baby it's okay." He soothed, tracing up and down her spine.

"I love you." He whispered into her hair, holding her close as his eyes drooped shut.

"I love you so much Nicholas. You're the most wonderful man." She put emphasis on the man and it made Nick's breath hitch. "Don't let anyone tell you any different. Especially not me."

It was futile. Nick would believe that the clouds were made out of if Jess told him it was so.

"You're such a child Nicholas." Jess scolds, her lips set into a solemn expression that doesn't dull the glimmer in her eyes. The side of her mouth twitches as she holds in a smile at the sight in front of her.

"Ugh, Jess." Nick says, leaping up off the ground, sending Mr Snuggles who was currently sharing a cup of tea (cherry soda) flying off in the direction of the hallway. "Hi, honey. Good day at work?"

"Daddy!" A little girl shouts, her scolding voice disturbingly like her mother's.

"Honestly, Dorothy what will we do with him?" Jess says, setting her bag down and perching next to Nick in the tea table, surrounded by the legions of fluffy toys who Dorothy had invited for tea. "Mr Miller," Jess says, laughing. "That is not how one behaves at a tea party." Mother and daughter do a perfectly timed eye roll that's a little unnerving.

"Momma," Dorothy asks primly, sitting up straight and putting on her best British accent. "Could I offer you a cup of tea?" Jess flips her hair over her shoulder and offers her cup.

"Why yes, Miss Dorothy, a cup of tea would be divine."

Nick catches Jess' eye and grins over the heads of Mr Cuddlybum and Mrs Googlyface, to which she beams back.

Perhaps being a child isn't the worst thing in the world.

'I won't sit down, I won't shut up, and most of all I will not grow up.'

I know it's a bit rushed and clunky, but hopefully you enjoyed! Have a lovely Summer guys!

Please R&R!