Alive again.
By C S Sinclair.
Chapter One.
'Put whatever you're holding down'.
Starting in surprise, she heard the familiar click of a gun being readied behind her.
'Don't make any sudden moves, just do as I say. Drop what you're holding and put your hands up - now.'
Sighing deeply, she realized that there was no alternative. She tossed the jeans back into the bottom of the closet, and raised her arms over her head.
'Look, I know this…'
'Okay, stand up and turn around – slowly'.
'Will you just give me a minute to expl…' she began, but was inevitably interrupted.
'Now!'
Sighing again, she raised herself up from her crouching position, then turned slowly about as instructed. Jill was sitting up in the far corner of the bed. The lamps were still off, so she couldn't see her face, but she could feel the expression of betrayal. She felt that familiar icy twist inside of her, that came with the knowledge that she'd committed a reprehensible act. But unlike other times, this time she really cared about it. She'd hurt Jill by this, she could tell. And it felt different than it ever had before... it felt truly horrible.
Jill must have been faking her slumber, she decided, as she seemed wide awake from her posture. She shook her head, amazed that she hadn't caught it. For someone who was naturally open and expressive, that had been pretty sly of her girl.
Her girl… That was getting ahead of herself - but it felt so good to say it.
'Something funny? You seem very amused by all this" Jill demanded.
Jill probably wouldn't react very well if she told her the truth just yet. And what right did she have to think such thoughts? Look at what she'd done – Jill looked so wounded, humiliated and angry, trying to cover herself with the sheets. She felt wretched for doing this to her.
'I'm not laughing at you! I was just happy because…' She shook her head in frustration – this sort of thing was much easier when you didn't mean it. She did that all the time, but this was impossible. How did people do it?
'Look, it… it won't be like this, I swear' she protested. 'This evening, the time we just spent together – that's how it'll be. I never wanted to hurt you and I can prove it. If you'll just…'
Jill leant forward with a look of pure confused disgust. Her heart sank – this wasn't going very well.
'Stop, just stop okay? I've heard some excuses before, but this… I mean, I catch you stealing and…'
She started in protest at this, but at a gesture from the gun, raised her hands again in frustration:
'That's not what I'm doing here, and you know it!' she countered angrily. Well, it wasn't the main reason anyway…
'Oh I do, do I? You were just tidying up, I suppose? Not planning to steal anything at all? However could I have come to that conclusion? ' Jill snapped bitterly.
'Look, you're angry, I know' she pleaded gently, desperate to set things right. 'And I'm sorry I wasn't quieter about it, but…'
'What? You think I'd rather have woken up tomorrow morning and found all my stuff gone? You have a warped way of thinking, lady!'
'That's not... I don't care how it looks - I'm here because I want to be with you!' she replied, her voice almost a shout as her frustration started to boil over. Her defiant response seemed to take Jill by surprise, and she seemed momentarily lost for words. Actually, she was just as surprised at the passion in her voice herself – real feelings were very different from affected ones…
'You wish I'd never moved or that you'd just gone to sleep; anything so we'd still be lying there together. This evening meant something to you, I know it did - deny it if you can, go on!"
Jill was evidently stunned at this outburst, and said nothing. She decided she had to use this time to press forward.
"Jill, this isn't what you think it is" she explained, taking a step forward, but stopping short as Jill sat up, alert again and with both hands on the gun now.
"How do you know my real name? I never told you my name was Jill, and there's no ID with that name in this room."
Jill had seemed unsure of that last point for a second. What... Ohh. She nodded in mild surprise as the answer struck her.
"So this is your 'safe room' huh? I wondered where that gun had come from – you didn't have it earlier. I notice those sorts of things. The hotel manager set this up for you?"
"What difference does it make where I got the gun?"
She looked at Jill, with a grin threatening to spread over her face. Okay - she'd play...
"That gun is police issue, and I'm betting the manager gives you this space because he's thinks you're still a cop too."
"…Your point being?"
She dropped her arms a bit, and got a fresh threat for her trouble.
"Stop doing that!" Jill snapped. She imagined and certainly hoped that Jill was more scared of having to fire, than anything she might try though.
"I'm getting tired. I can't keep holding my arms out all night – what's left of it anyway. You took most of my energy..."
"Oh, please…"
Jill looked thoroughly disgusted, but after pondering for a few seconds, motioned for her to drop her arms to her sides. She did so, in as casual a fashion as she could. Her heart rate had slowed, but this was still a tricky situation, and she didn't want to hurt Jill – in fact, she was fairly sure she couldn't.
"So who are you, what do you want and why didn't you just break into my house or something?" Jill asked, watching her closely still.
"Can I sit down, please?"
It was risky to show such impudence, but she thought she could probably get away with it.
"End of the bed… slowly."
She sat down lightly on the same side as Jill, showing her that she had nothing concealed. She impishly considered showing a little skin under the nightgown, but decided it would probably only annoy Jill at this point. Besides, there was time for that later. She grinned inwardly - she couldn't help but feel happy. It pleased her to annoy Jill slightly, just as she knew it pleased Jill to be annoyed and flustered at her. She didn't know how she knew this... it just seemed right. It all did.
"Well, first of all, I didn't think you'd leave important documents at home. I figured you must have some safe room or stash somewhere. I didn't expect you to take me right to it, though."
Jill sat back with a tired look. She was still keeping her eyes on her, though.
"Stop messing me about. Who are you and what do you want?"
She turned and lifted a knee onto the bed, careful not to reveal herself. If she was careful not to be too flirty, Jill would have no ammunition to chastise her, though she was longing to do so, she could feel.
"I guess you wouldn't believe it, if I said I got what I came for" she smiled, looking with genuine and deep affection at Jill. As expected though, Jill took it rather badly…
"You think this is funny, you bitch? What kind of game is this to you? You trick me; you use me and all to…"
"You used me too, Jill!" she interrupted hotly. "You wouldn't have brought me somewhere so secure if you didn't suspect something. You didn't need to make love to me…"
"It was just sex. I don't know what you thought..."
"Don't give me that! You knew this wasn't just some random pick-up. You knew I might be armed, that I might try to kill you at any moment, with or without a weapon. You let it go on because you wanted to. You felt safe - it wasn't just sex, Jill!"
Jill's mouth dropped open and she looked momentarily bewildered. Then her look of angry determination returned. She reached with her free hand into a drawer and took out a pair of handcuffs. She threw them over.
"I don't know what kind of game you're playing" she repeated. "But I want your name, your purpose - your real purpose - and I want you to cuff yourself to that bed post."
She looked down at the cuffs, then back at Jill. How should she play this? She picked up the cuffs, examined them and threw them back on the bed.
"No."
Jill frowned in surprise. She made a threatening gesture and made to voice it, but she decided it was time to force a confrontation. 'Don't do anything stupid, baby' she thought to herself.
"Enough, Jill, enough okay, before one of us gets hurt!" she shouted.
Jill seemed forced back against the headboard in surprise this time.
"I'm not putting them on, and you're not going to shoot me. So… no you're not!" she exclaimed angrily as Jill moved to object. "You're not going to shoot and you're not going to call the police."
"And… why is this again?" Jill asked with what she would swear was exasperated amusement – that was a good sign.
"Because we both know that they won't do anything to someone like me. Someone will show up and I'll be out before the morning, regardless of what you say. We aren't people to whom those kinds of rules apply, Jill. You know that."
Jill's head dropped slightly at this; she seemed lost in thought over something. It was time to drop the bombshell.
"My name's Ada Wong." (Jill snapped up, wide awake again). "I see you've heard of me" she added sadly.
Jill reached over for the telephone, and started keying in buttons. Not good.
"I really enjoyed tonight" she blurted out. It was funny how in a tight situation, only the truth ever seemed to really work. 'I really did and that's the truth.'
Jill stopped and looked over at her with a truly confused and angry expression: "Why are you… what the hell are you playing at?"
Truth…
"I was sent to look for information on your old STARS partner Chris Redfield. Since he's vanished and its believed you are still in contact with him, I was to find anything new and give it to my employer…"
Sort of true anyway…
"So essentially…" Jill had laid the phone down as she spoke, "You came here to seduce me…"
"At which I succeeded" Ada pointed out, unable to stop herself from trying to tease Jill.
"…to get me to take you to my 'safe house' as you put it…" she continued stubbornly.
"Which makes it two for Ada Wong" she interrupted again, fighting to suppress a grin of wild joy.
"…And all this just to look for information about Chris?"
"That's not quite right, but still not far off being three for three. That's not really what I wanted..."
Jill snorted in disgust. It was more like disgusted amusement though, Ada thought in satisfaction. And it looked awfully sweet, whatever it was. She wished she had a camera…
"Don't tell me. This where the lonely assassin connects with the poor, tortured ex-STAR. One look in her eyes and she was a new woman. Am I right?" Jill asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
Ada smiled, and was pleased to see Jill return it before she could control herself.
"Got it in one."
She stood up, and Jill started in surprise, sitting up and letting the covers fall away. Ada looked away in respect, as Jill scrambled to cover herself again. She couldn't help smiling. This had become really rather sweet. She really should have brought a camera.
"Where… where are you going? Sit down!"
"No, I have to leave now."
She walked over, heart pounding in her ears, to the table where she'd thrown her clothes off and started to get dressed, as Jill just sat in stunned silence behind her. Looking back as she slipped on her dress, she could see she wasn't even looking at her anymore. She was sitting, head drooping, gun loosely hanging in her hand. As Ada watched, she sat back and looked over at her. She looked utterly confused.
'Why did you have to do it this way?' Jill asked in a strained voice. 'Why do something like this to me…'
Ada paced quickly over, ignoring the weak attempt to threaten her, and knelt down next to her. She reached out a hand. Jill tried to swat it away, but Ada pushed insistently until she reached Jill's cheek, where she stroked it tenderly.
"I had a wonderful time this evening, Jill. I want to be with you and I had to be sure you wanted it too. I know you have no reason to believe me, but it's the truth, and I think you know it."
Jill didn't say anything. But she did rub her cheek gently against Ada's hand.
"I don't understand… And what can you possibly gain by it? If Wesker thinks…"
Ada shook her head and grabbed Jill more firmly: "This has absolutely nothing to do with him, nothing! I don't work for him anymore. This is about you and me, okay?"
Jill looked skeptical, and tried to look away, lost in misery. Ada refused to let her break eye contact with her.
"Look at me, Jill. I know what it's like, this life. I need someone to share it with. I want you - that's what all this is about. We don't have the luxury of big courtships – I know it feels right with you, and that's good enough for me. I feel warm inside around you, part of this world again. If you think I'm going to let you slip away after that, you're very wrong!"
Jill pulled back, and slid away.
"Oh... come on! Why am I even listening to this? We just agreed what a ridiculous cliché it is, and anyway you said yourself not two minutes ago, that you came here for stuff on Chris…"
Ada followed her, moving on her knees across the bed, sitting down next to her. Jill looked at her with such a lost look.
"Don't… please don't do something like this to me. Just find some other way. I don't have anything on Chris, and I couldn't give it to you even if I had. I swear I don't have anything."
"I don't care" Ada whispered, stroking her hand along Jill's arm.
"Yes you do!" sobbed Jill defiantly. "That's what you wanted and I'm telling you I don't have it! So please, please don't do this to me…"
Her voice tailed off, but Ada continued to stroke her arm tenderly and lovingly, taking her hand gently.
"I already told you, I got what I wanted... well, part of it anyway. I just need her to agree to see me again…"
She stroked Jill's hair and leaned in to kiss her. She tried to move, but Ada caught her on the forehead.
"He… He's my friend, Ada. I don't know why you'd think I could tell you. I can't just let you and Wesker kill him. If that the kind of person you think I am... I won't…"
"Shh, no-one's asking you to, you silly girl!" she soothed, taking Jill's hands. Slowly she worked the gun free and tossed it aside. Then she rubbed some warmth into Jill's fingers.
"I know you don't understand, but even if I found out, I would never give anyone that information anyway. Not now."
Jill looked up questioningly, wiping her face with her hand. She seemed angry with herself for showing all this emotion. Ada wasn't far from tears herself, but she was fighting mightily against them. She wanted to break down, but she had control of the situation and she needed to keep it.
"Why not?"
"Because he's your friend, Jill. And I could never do something that would hurt you... you know it's true, don't you?"
Jill tried to sit up straight, wiping her tears away again. She waved Ada away, but she stubbornly circled round her, embracing her from behind.
"But… but that's ridiculous! We only just met! As if…"
Ada peered round to look at Jill, mere inches separating their faces. She stared deeply into her eyes, and smoothed her hands over and along Jill's arms.
"Would you do something to hurt me?" she asked softly.
Jill opened her mouth and Ada could feel her pull back from a kiss she had plainly thought of giving. She was straining to resist doing so herself. You could hear the rain thundering against the window, the hum of the radiator, their soft breathing…
"Well, would you?" she asked, lifting her face up when she tried to look away. "Answer me please, would you do something you knew would hurt me?"
A fresh tear rolled down Jill's cheek. She shook her head in incredulous horror and fascination.
"Say it Jill, say it for me, please."
"No… no, I wouldn't hurt you."
She looked as if she couldn't believe it, but Ada had never doubted it. She'd known all this time, known it inside. From that first time months ago, all the watching and waiting… 'You were always the one, Jill' she thought to herself.
"Then you know I could never give that information to anyone."
"But then, why do you need it?"
"Ask me next time. I'll tell you then."
She leaned around and kissed Jill deeply, pushing her passion and all her pain into her lover. 'It's all for you', she screamed silently. 'Everything I am is for you now'. Jill had relaxed totally in her arms, beaten and bewildered into submission. She allowed Ada to wrap about her, to love her and adore her.
And then she was standing, having forced herself to jolt upwards and away, before she could never move from that spot again. She tottered unsteadily, and was caught by Jill who had raced after her.
"What's wrong?"
Ada laughed with such wild, relieved joy to see Jill's concern and collapsed into a hug around her neck, leaning her forehead against Jill's.
"Nothing. But I have to go… oh, I know, I don't want to, but…" (Jill had protested loudly). "I already left my number on the stand, see? I wasn't just going to leave you."
She kissed her on the forehead, then sadly, she forced herself up again and made to leave.
"This makes no sense to me, Ada. The only way I can make sense of it, is if you're playing me and this is some sort of trick" Jill called after her.
Ada stopped in the doorway: "If it was anyone else, they'd be right. But you know you're wrong, don't you?"
Looking back, she saw that Jill was lying back against the headboard, staring at the card she'd left. She nodded without looking up, a look of bewilderment still on her face. She wanted so much to stay, but knew she had to leave for now. She couldn't leave without being sure her girl knew how she felt though.
"I really wasn't going to give that information to anyone. It's just… complicated. I needed the original so I could make…"
"Its okay" stated Jill matter-of-factly, again without looking up. "You can tell me next time, right?"
Ada felt a fresh urge to race into her arms and never leave them.
"I promise!"
She made to leave, but not before adding over her shoulder: 'I'm... I probably don't deserve you Jill… but this is right, I just know it is.'