I wrote this o/s recently. The idea was in my head and I thought i'd play with it. I was more curious, really of what Edward and Bella would do. Let me know what you think.
All mistakes are mine. I wrote until I posted.
Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, i like to play with Daddyward ;)
Fall 2010
Keeping things from your husband is never a good thing. The guilt you feel from it alone makes you feel like a monster. At least I feel that way.
But how do you go about revealing something of this magnitude? Especially since it's not really my secret to tell…
Eventually, it will come out. But it doesn't make it any easier in the meantime.
I know he will be heartbroken, and in a way, I'm trying to prolong the inevitable.
Every day that passes, I look at my daughter and I know that we have to tell him. She looks at me and wonders if today will be the day. Sometimes I don't even know who is scared the most. I have to admit, that I've backed out more times than she has, but I'm just buying us some time.
It can't be easy for her either. I worry that this stress will harm her, so I've decided that we will tell him today…or tomorrow.
London serves herself a bowl of cereal, avoiding the eggs that are on the stove. I know she hates them and she's a real trooper with dealing with the smell. She takes her breakfast into the dining table, again avoiding the rest of her siblings that are eating with me on the kitchen island.
"How come London doesn't eat with us?" Ryan, my 11 year old, is not subtle at all. The boy speaks his mind, and the other half, he spends asking question after question. He likes to know everything. "And how come she doesn't eat eggs anymore? Your eggs are awesome, Mom." He says as he shovels food into his mouth.
I glance at Edward, he's eating his breakfast, but his brow furrows when Ryan starts inquiring. I start to panic a little. I'm the typical, guilty person that gives herself away the minute I start to stress.
Edward sets his newspaper down, leans back in his chair to look over to the dining room. "London, you alright, babe?" he asks.
"Uh…yeah Daddy. Why?"
"Why aren't you sitting with us?" he looks at me questioningly. Crap. I shrug and take a long sip of my coffee.
"She probably has boyfriend problems." Ethan, our 14 year old, mumbles. I kick him under the table.
"Ow, Ma! Why'd you hit me?" the boy is dense so I give him a look. You know that "Mom look". Yeah, I never thought I'd have that look, but I do. I learned it pretty fast with these kids.
"What boyfriend?" Edward asks.
"She wants some quiet." I don't answer his question.
"That football jock that she's in love with." Ethan rolls his eyes. Okay, so he hates his sister today. I make a mental note to punish him somehow later tonight.
"Football jock? How come I didn't know about this?" he turns to look at me and then gets up from the table. I get up too. I sense an argument coming.
I tell Ethan and Ryan to go upstairs and get ready for school. Ethan snickers as he gets up. He's so proud of himself, but he has no idea what he's done. I don't know if to kick his ass or thank him.
"I've got some chores for you tonight." I warn him and he groans. "And do me a favor, walk your brother to school for me. Go out through the back, we're gonna talk to you sister in here." he nods and runs out of the kitchen.
I walk to the dining room. London is frozen in her seat—her breakfast long forgotten. Of course she was listening to everything, but I'm sure she wasn't prepared for a confrontation from her Dad.
Edward has his arms crossed and is staring her down. She looks so close to tears already. I almost wish she'd just start crying so Edward can go easy on her. Is that bad? I suck.
"I thought we talked about this London. You're not supposed to be seeing that guy until your grades come up again. Are you still seeing him behind our backs?"
Ah yes, our 16 year old daughter started dating Aaron last year. There were no problems with her grades, so we let her continue to see him. This year, she was spending so much time with him that her grades came down really low. She went from A's and B's to C- and even a D. Aside from that, we found out that she was skipping school and forging our signatures when the school asked her for notes from home.
Of course, she was grounded "forever", but we couldn't control what she did at school. And I wish I could have done something, but there is no going back anymore.
"Mom?" she looks up at me for help. Unfortunately, for her, Edward did bring up a good point. I'm reminded that she did break our trust again. She promised not to see him…and now this. It has to come out today. I can no longer keep her secret for her. She has to face reality…and her Dad.
"I asked you a question London. Mom's not going to help you out right now." he looks pointedly at me. I know that we have to be in this together. But for how long? Will he hate me for keeping a secret from him?
And London, I know she's scared…of many things to come.
I feel a huge lump in my chest, and I try to swallow it down as it tries to come up. If I open my mouth, I know I will let out a loud sob, and I can't let that happen. I have to be strong for my daughter and stand strong next to my husband.
"I'm not seeing him oka-ay." Her voice breaks as she starts crying into her hands. My eyes well up with tears and I look away from her for a moment.
"Okay then what's going on, babe? You can tell me anything." He soothes.
She can't even answer him now. Her whole body is shaking as she cries.
Edwards's eyes soften. He can't stand to see her crying. He hugs her and tells her everything is going to be okay. She cries louder. He looks up at me for help, too.
I sniff and tell him to wait a minute. He's worried, because he wants to know why I'm almost bawling next to my daughter. I don't know how to proceed. I want to tell him, but then I want her to do it.
The fight and turmoil in me is obvious, Edward catches on. He always does. That is why I'm not so good at keeping secrets. His expression goes from concern to anger immediately.
He places a kiss on London's hair. "Wait here, baby. I need to talk to your Mom." He's seething and walks out of the room without a word. My sign that I have to follow him is obvious. I hear him stomping up the stairs and take that as an opportunity to talk to London.
"We have to tell him." I rush out. "It's not right anymore, honey. He needs to know. I promise that he will hear you out."
"Mom, I'm scared." She whimpers. And I know she doesn't only mean her Dad's reaction. It kind of pisses me off. What does she expect? This isn't a game. Her life as a carefree kid will never be the same again. She knows I will always be there for her…but she has to take responsibility. And we're starting now.
"Well you have to toughen up kid. When we come back down, you have to tell him." She's almost curled into a ball on her chair. She looks so vulnerable…and lost. I lean down and hug her. I take her face in my hands and look in her eyes. "I'm here for you. Always." I almost lose my voice as the lump in my throat comes out as a sob. "You won't be alone ever. Okay? I love you." I kiss her cheeks and wipe away her tears. It's useless since she keeps crying. I leave her in the dining room to sort out her thoughts.
Edward is sitting on our bed, talking to someone on his phone.
"Thanks, Jane. See you tomorrow." Jane is Edward's secretary.
"You're staying home?" I ask softly as I finally walk into the room. His jaw is set; he doesn't answer me aside from a nod. I nervously sit next to him on the bed, just a few inches away from him. He takes in a deep breath; his hands are in a tight fist. I thought he would start yelling, but he doesn't. The silence engulfs us. It's just our ragged breathing. He's upset and I'm…scared and guilty.
I beat myself up for not saying anything sooner. I should have thought about this when she told me, but even I had to come to terms with it. I know it's not an excuse, but I had to deal with my feelings too. And I see now, how selfish that was. I should have been able to confide in my husband. I admit that I might have made this worse than it had to be.
Before I can do anything, I speak up…kind of. "I-I'm sorry."
Edward shakes his head. "I don't want to deal with you right now. I want to know why our daughter is downstairs crying her eyes out." he looks straight ahead, flexing his hands. The vein in his neck is thick…and scary, honestly. He wants to punch something. Not me. Never me. He might bulldoze a wall today, though.
I take a deep breath. "She's scared."
He looks down at me and chuckles. He can't believe how "dumb" I'm being.
"I know she's scared, Bella. What I want to know is why she's scared." He looks nervous all of a sudden. "Is she so afraid of me that she won't tell me?"
"What?" I'm surprised that he says this. I didn't think he would feel this way. I pull his fists into my hands and I try to smooth them out. I look at my husband, he's trying not to show how broken he's feeling. "She's not afraid of you, Edw—" He cuts me off and pulls away.
"Then why do you know what I don't? She's my daughter too Bella. Why did you not come to me? Whatever it is, why didn't you tell me?" when I look up, there are tears in his eyes and I just can't hold back anymore. I hug him as I cry on his chest. He holds me for dear life. I have my ear pressed to his chest and he takes sharp breaths. Between my sobbing, I can still hear him.
"It's bad isn't it?" he asks. I don't answer him, I hug him tighter. I want to be inside him. I want everything to go away for another day. Realizing what I'm thinking, I stop being a coward.
"She needs us right now." I mumble into his chest. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you anything, but we can talk later. Right now we need to go downstairs and face this." I finally look up. He caresses my face with his hands, clearing away the tears that stained my face. He searches my eyes for answers.
"Don't ever keep anything from me, Bella. I'm standing here thinking that my daughter is dying or divorcing us." He tries to smile playfully and leans down hesitantly to kiss my lips. I reach up and bring him down closer with my hand on his neck. He kisses me—really kisses me. His tongue enters my mouth as soon as I open up a little. I let him have it. He needs it. He needs me. And I promise myself to never let him feel the way he did, just moments ago. He pulls away and kisses my lips, once, twice.
"I love you."
"I love you too." I take his hand and lead him downstairs.
London is sitting on the couch, resting her chin on her knees. She looks up at us when we walk in. I give her a reassuring smile. Edward holds on to my hand as I sit next to my daughter. I slightly have to stretch my hand, since he decides to sit on the coffee table in front of us.
London puts her feet back down on the floor and sits up straighter. That's my girl. Edward watches her, with ease leans over, and slips his hand in hers as well. He squeezes her hand and she looks up at him. He's smiling at her. He doesn't pressure her into talking, and I'm thankful for that. She needs to do that on her own.
"I-I …um…" she clears her throat and looks at me for encouragement. Finding it, she turns to her Dad. "I'm pregnant." She bites her lip, and I hold my breath. Hearing her say it out loud for the second time, still stings.
Edward lets out a long breath and closes his eyes tight. He sits there for minute…maybe five? He's shaking his head but not looking at us. I look at London and I see her. My little girl who's gonna be a Mommy. She's in her hello kitty pj's that we bought her last Christmas, and her funky rainbow toe socks. They make me laugh every time she wears them. This time, I can't laugh. They only remind me of how young she still is.
She's too young! I cry into my hands, as I have every time I'm alone in the bathroom. I'm afraid of what awaits her for her life and of her baby. But I know that we will always be there for her.
"I'm sorry Daddy." She cries and falls to her knees so she could hug him. She never wanted to disappoint him. That is what she was afraid of.
He pulls her up and there are tears streaming down his face. The disappointment isn't even there. He just hurts for her too. We know all too well what teen pregnancy means. There is nothing easy about the road she faces.
"Don't cry, London." His voice is hoarse. "We're all gonna be here for you." He assures. "It's gonna be hard for you, but you have to take responsibility. Mom and I, were gonna help, but this is your baby. Don't expect us to do everything for you."
"Yeah, I know." She whispers. "And what about school?"
"You're gonna go until you can't. We'll figure something out when the baby is born. You have to promise us that you are going to graduate. I still expect you to go to college and you know I'm going to pay for all that—you just need to put the work in."
One of my fears was that London was going to get discouraged about school and not want to continue. She's a really bright girl, and she's talked about going to college most of her life. I would hate for this to get in the way of her plans. That is why we, as parents are going to be there to support her and encourage her when she needs it.
We have the financial stability to provide for her and the baby, but she will need to put her part in of graduating and applying for colleges.
I don't plan on being a baby sitter, but I wouldn't mind once in a while. As Edward said, we will figure that out later.
After some more crying and hugs for our daughter, we send her to her room to rest. It was a long morning for her and we worried about the baby.
That evening, after the kids are done eating dinner, I follow Edward into his study. He heads straight to his liquor cabinet. He pulls out a glass and asks if I want one too.
"Yes, please." He smirks. I don't drink often. He's remembering the last time he gave me something to drink—let's just say he had a very good night. He hands me a glass of scotch? I think that's what it is. I take a sip…yep, it's scotch and it burns.
"Burns real nice doesn't it?" he chuckles and pulls me over to the couch. It's our very first couch. We bought it when we got married—it's been through a lot. It's possible that at least one of our kids was conceived in this couch. I wouldn't dream of getting rid of it.
I curl up next to my husband and we sit in silence for a while. We're not speaking, but on the inside there is a lot going on. A lot of what if's and where did we go wrong? Or what do we do now?
No matter how lost we are, we have each other and we will see it through.
Edward breaks the silence after a while. "How long did you know?" I knew it was coming.
"About three weeks. She should be hitting eight weeks soon." He nods and takes a sip of his drink while he thinks.
"I don't even want to argue about you not telling me. This…" he stops and takes deep breaths. "This is such a shock to me, Bella. She's only 16 years old; I thought she was still…still a virgin." He shakes his head. I know he's trying not to get angry, so he takes a long sip of the scotch. "And I'm heartbroken. I think that's what I'm feeling. She broke my heart, Bella."
"I'm still shocked too—three weeks later. It's normal to feel this way. If you're angry, be angry. If you're sad, be sad. Don't hide it. It won't do us any good." I turn to face him. "But there's nothing we can do about the baby now. We have to keep moving forward. We're a family and we're all gonna help her."
"Yeah." he runs his hands through his hair. He's done that so much through the years, I'm surprised that he's not going bald. "And we need to tell the rest of the kids. She shouldn't have any unnecessary stress. You know they love to fight with her." he rolls his eyes and then hesitates for a minute. "I still love her, Bella. She's always gonna be my daughter. No matter how bad she messes up—and this is a big fuck up."
"Then tell her that. She was afraid of how disappointed you were gonna be, and maybe she thought you were gonna hate her."
"I would never." He shakes his head. "I'm disappointed, yes, but I don't hate her. I didn't even yell at her because she's already beating herself up for it. She knows how bad this is and what a wrong choice she made. She's already punishing herself, what else can I do but be there for her?"
"When you talk to her again, reassure her. She needs to hear you say that. Your opinion matters so much to her." I pause and collect my thoughts again. "She told me first because I suspected something already. I know the signs and she was not fooling me. I gave her a couple of days to come to me, but she wouldn't so I confronted her. It was like pulling teeth but I made her tell me. It wasn't easy, and I gave her a piece of my mind. I did enough damage for the both of us."
Just because I kept it from Edward, doesn't mean I wasn't upset. I was angry when she finally told me. I couldn't believe how stupid she could be—letting this happen. She knew the consequences. We were always open with her about sex. She knew about protection and all that jazz. We highly encouraged abstinence. It went from one ear out the other.
My own reaction scared me enough that I decided to wait to tell Edward.
"And what about—" Edward stops and his jaw tightens, he looks at his glass and gulps the whole drink down. "What about Aaron? What's that punk gonna do?"
There is the other problem. That little fucker thinks he can just knock up my daughter and not have any responsibilities.
"We're gonna have to talk to his parents…" I tread slowly. "He told London he didn't want anything to do with the baby…and then he broke up with her, officially. Whatever that means." I mutter.
"I'm gonna fuck him up!" He growls. "He thinks he knows what to do with a dick, well he better know what to do with a fist."
.
Three days later, Edward brought Aaron and his parents to our house. They were humiliated that their son would act so juvenile—the irony of it all was not lost on any of us.
No, Edward did not fuck him up. I had to put my foot down on that one. I really did not want to visit my husband in jail. I still think that asshole needs to get his ass kicked, though.
London decided that she wanted to attend the meeting so we let her. We sat around the dining room table…and discussed. As parents, we took initiative and set a whole lot of rules down. The obvious was that Aarona and London were not gonna see each other anymore and everyone happily agreed. I was afraid that his parents would try to have them get married or some bullshit like that. Thank god, I didn't have to cut a bitch for that one.
Aaron's parents were on board with Edward and me. Their concerns were the same as ours…and we were all able to just…agree. His mother, Susie, cried through the whole meeting—even whacking her son a few times with her purse. I had to hide my smile. She kept shouting, "There's more where that came from Aaron Matthew Hayes!" to her almost six foot tall son. He would coward at her words, as he sat there in his football uniform.
Edward probably dragged him out of his game tonight. He stared Aaron down and the kid probably pissed himself, from the looks alone. He answered Edward's direct questions with a shaky voice, and not once did he look at London. Coward.
I was just glad to have that over with; Aaron's parents were not ready to talk about custody, so we only talked about finances. And everything was settled. They were gonna deal with their son, and they would be in contact with us.
Later that night, Edward will tell me that he might have kneed him in the balls. Twice. Before going out to get Aaron's parents. I gave my husband a damn good blowjob for that one.
~XOXO~
Winter 2011
At almost six months pregnant, London has a cute little basketball under her shirt. At least that's what Edward tells her when she's crying her eyes out that she looks fat. Of course, the baby bump is more pronounced with her slim figure, but she still tries to hide it at school. It's not a secret that she's pregnant, but she doesn't like to feel so exposed. At home, I can catch her in shorts and a tank top, letting that belly hang out. Yes, California winters let you wear shorts on almost any given day.
She is beautiful, though. She always will be.
Edward has been so supportive, as we, all have. But I've seen a lot from him. He caters to all her crazy ass cravings. I think she makes that shit up, but when I see her enjoying it…well I look away, because the combinations are disgusting.
"Mom why is she eating that?" Ryan looks over at London in disgust.
"I'm right here you little twerp!" she yells across the table.
"Hey! Easy, London. He's not trying to be rude."
"Well he can ask me!" she turns to him. "I'm eating it cause it's fucking delicious."
"London." Edward warns. "Another outburst and you can go eat in your room." She huffs and leaves the kitchen with her plate.
"And you're doing dishes, so come down when you're done!" I tell her. She screams about not being fair. "You just added tomorrow too." Just because she's pregnant doesn't mean she does nothing around here. And she gets punished like everyone else when she's being a brat.
.
Edward also takes her to her doctor's appointments sometimes. I'm jealous, that he was the first to see our grandbaby on the ultrasound monitor. I'm still kicking myself in the ass for having to work that day.
I let Edward have that, though. He was so happy when he came home that day. Nothing could ruin that for him.
London and Edward know what the baby's sex is, but they won't tell the rest of us. I think it's a girl. London looks exactly like me, when I was pregnant with her. Gosh…I still can't believe that my baby is having a baby.
We're all excited, though. Ethan and Ryan also swear that they're gonna help when the baby comes. They have no idea what they are in for; I'm gonna make sure they get a taste of it, so they don't get any ideas about unprotected sex.
~XOXO~
Spring 2011
We all want that pregnant woman out of our house! Edward is counting the days to when London finally delivers that baby, cause right now, she is not a happy camper.
The last trimester has been tough on her. She had to start home schooling a couple weeks ago, because she was getting too tired at school. And so would I, carrying that big watermelon around all day. She is huge now, but don't let her hear anyone say that. She's already ripped Edward a new one for that one.
I don't ever remember being that angry with any of my pregnancies. Edward thinks it's like teen/pregnancy hormones…which quite honestly, is pretty damn scary. We try not to upset her, but it's hard. She has a short fuse.
"How is she today?" Edward asks when he gets home.
I sigh. "The same little brat that she was this morning. Everyone and everything bothered her today."
"What happened to my little girl?" he tries to joke. "I'm even afraid of getting close to her. I don't want to upset her and the baby." He says concerned.
"She'll snap out of it. One day she's happy and the next she's like this."
"But come on...she is huge." Edward tries to make excuses for himself. I jab him in the ribs. "Ow!" he holds his side. "What was that for?" he laughs and winces.
"She can't hear you but I can! It's hard carrying a baby in your stomach. You don't have to tell her how big she is. It hurts her feelings." I huff. My husband is a moron. You want to know how I know? Well tomorrow, he's gonna see London eating breakfast and comment on her huge belly. Again. He doesn't learn!
"Sorry."
"Go help London put her feet up. Her feet were really swollen today." Edward frowns and immediately gets up to help his daughter. That's the kind of Dad he is, though. So we love him.
~XOXO~
Summer 2011
At thirty-nine weeks we rush London to the hospital.
Her water broke while going for a late night snack. She denies that. She was just getting water. Mhhm.
Edward almost faints when I tell him, and the typical guy that he is, goes crazy trying to get everyone in the car except for London.
She waddles out into the porch and yells to Edward that he is forgetting something really important. She points at her belly.
I drive her…and Edward follows with the boys in the other car.
"Take care of our baby." Edward tells me as we reach the end of the hall. Only Mom and the deliver coach are allowed beyond the doors. I'm honored to take the job as her coach.
Edward was a little disappointed, but he knew she would be better off with me. I did give birth to his three kids, after all. I think I know what I'm doing in this type of situation.
He has tears in his eyes and I know he's scared. So am I. We hug and kiss quickly. I'm all jittery from nerves now. This is really happening!
"She'll be fine." I assure him. Right now, all he is thinking of is his daughter. The baby will be safe, but his daughter is his precious cargo.
We don't think about how just last month, Aaron and his parents had their attorney draw up papers, signing over parental rights to us. It was a sad day. London was upset that her baby was not gonna have a Dad, But Edward reminded her that she would have an awesome Grandpa.
"Make sure you ask for pain meds right away, you know how they like to take long to administer them. I don't want her suffering too much." He's close to tears again. " And get her some ice chips, that worked well for you." No, it didn't help me at all. But I let Edward believe that it did. He wanted to be there for me so much that he just ended up stuffing me with ice chips. I was convinced that our kids were gonna be little icicles when they finally came into the world.
"I will, baby. Don't worry."
I turn and walk through the doors. My baby is waiting for me.
~XOXO~
Summer Skye is born on July 20, 2011
She weighs 7lbs 7oz
Never have I ever been so proud of my daughter. I know she will make me proud for many years to come, but today…she was a strong and fierce woman. What I always want her to be in everything that she does. And she was all of that when it mattered the most. I will tell my grandbaby about this day.
Eighteen hours of labor kicked her ass, but she never gave up. She stayed focused and…wow…squeezed the crap out of my hand.
We cried together through the tough parts of her labor and we cried-laughed together when that baby finally came into this world.
Any doubt that I might have had just flew out the window when London held her daughter in her arms.
In this moment, everything was perfect.
She is a Mommy now.
.
When they finally settled her into her new room, I went out to the waiting room to congratulate the new Uncles…and proud Grandpa.
Edward and I held hands as we walked behind our sons. We buzz with excitement. Both of us are grinning from ear to ear. The happiest day of our lives…and we know we will have many more like this. Much, much later.
We walk into the room; the boys are hovering over the bed where London is sitting. They fawn over the tiny baby in her arms, but are too afraid to hold her just yet.
Edward and I approached them and the boys move aside to let their Dad see the new member of our family. London looks up and smiles brightly at us, then down at her baby.
"Here she is Daddy." She kisses the baby's head and passes her gently to Edward.
He cradles the baby in his arms. The baby has a new protector—her Grandpa. He kisses her cheeks and her tiny nose. She yawns for him and he breaths in that wonderful baby smell.
"So this is our Summer Skye" he tells no one in particular. "We've been waiting for you, princess." He whispers to our granddaughter.
~XOXO~