Disclaimer: I do not own or claim credit for any of these characters, I'm just borrowing them! Or am I making money of any kind off this story.
Summary: Everyone knows that Colonel Hogan hates to take his medicine. He hates being sick period. Just how far will he go to escape Wilson and his horrible medicine? Just a silly take on the desperate measures Hogan takes to avoid his medicine.
AN: Thanks to everyone's great reviews on my first story called Insanity, I have decided I am going to try my hand at another one. I hope it has improved from my last one, I tried to keep in mind everything you guys have told me. Anyways, thanks again those who offered their advice and encouragement, this story is for y'all.
The Cold War
"Colonel Hogan, please. You must take this medicine" Sargent Wilson practically begged his Commanding Officer. "You will never beat this cold without it, you know this!"
The officer in question didn't reply, choosing to glare at the camp medic from the bottom of his bunk bed. Wilson sighed in frustration.
"Look," he began again for the umpteenth time, "I promise it won't make you sleep, its just aspirin."
"Sergeant I said no, I don't need to take any medicine I'm - - AHHHCHOOO!- - fine" Colonel Hogan finished weakly, mentally cursing his body for betraying him at that moment.
"Colonel your not fine and the longer you go without the medicine, the worse it's going to get. Just take the aspirin, whats the big deal?"
"The point is Sergeant, that I don't need any medicine because I am not sick." Hogan growled, forcing back another loud sneeze.
Of course you're not Wilson thought to himself sarcastically your only running a high fever, why should that worry anyone? "Listen Colonel, if you don't take this medicine willingly, I'll have your men come in here, hold you down, and force you to take it!" Wilson grinned evilly "So Colonel, whats it gonna be?"
Hogan's eyes narrowed dangerously, "You wouldn't dare..."
"Colonel, when it comes to people's health my Sergeant stripes outrank your eagles. I most certainly would dare."
Taking the Colonel's continuing silence as another act of defiance, Wilson yanked the door open to the common area and asked for Hogan's core group of men. Turning away from the door, feeling victorious, he noticed in confusion that Hogan was no longer in the bed. He looked up and saw the Colonel crawling out the office window! The other men walked in, just in time to see Hogan grinning like a maniac, dart away from the window. They froze and looked at each other for a moment, then all at once, sprinted over to the door and out into the compound. What they didn't see was that Hogan had never actually run off, knowing how trigger happy some of the guards could be, but that he was actually hiding behind the water barrel. Grinning to himself, he doubled back into the barracks, and slapped the hidden mechanism concealing the tunnel entrance, slipping down into the tunnels below.
Meanwhile, the rest of the Heroes continued their search for their Commanding Officer.
"Where could he have gone?" Lebeau asked, "There's no way he could have gotten this far without anyone seeing him."
"He right," Newkirk agreed. "He'd have to be a ruddy magician to get this far!"
"Unless he never left," Kinch thought out-loud to himself.
"And what's that supposed to mean? You saw him jump out that window." Lebeau exclaimed, annoyed with the entire charade.
"I mean," Kinch continued. "He could have hidden himself and after we left, gone back into the barracks or worse, down in the tunnels." Everyone paused for a moment debating on what Kinch suggested, and then with a nod, all sprinted back to the barracks. They burst through the door and took a look around, gasping for breath. Kinch pointed to the open tunnel and everyone groaned, it would take forever to find the Colonel in the maze of tunnels down there! Kinch was the first down the ladder, followed by Newkirk, Carter and Lebeau.
"Blimey," Newkirk muttered to himself as he looked around. "He really doesn't want to take that bloody medicine." The others nodded in agreement, In order to remain unseen, Hogan had blown out all their lights in the tunnels, they were now left in the pitch black.
Kinch sighed, "Okay first things first, we've got to get to the flashlights. I believe there are some in a footlocker in the uniform room." Several minutes and quite a few curses later, all were equipped with flashlights. Newkirk shining his in Carter's eyes while glaring at him.
"Way to give a man a concussion" Newkirk muttered, rubbing his head where he had smacked it against one of the support beams, curtsey of a certain Sergeant.
"Look, I said I was sorry." The man in question exclaimed.
"Sorry doesn't fix this bloody headache, now does it Carter?" The Englander growled at him.
"Hold it you two," Kinch intervened "We have to find the Colonel." Suddenly they heard demonic laughter echoing through the tunnels. Carter shuddered in fear and everyone unconsciously huddled closer together.
"Colonel please," Kinch tried reasoning with the sick man, "Come take your medicine. This has gone on long enough. Besides, your only making it worse running around in the tunnels like this.".
"Quite the contrary," Hogan's voice echoed, "I am just getting - - AHHHCHOOO! - - started". With that he let out another laugh and silence filled the passages again. Out of nowhere, the tunnel entrance above them banged open, causing everyone to jump. A shaft of light filled the tunnel below, and Wilson hurried down the ladder.
"I've been looking everywhere for you guys, have you found Hogan yet?"
"Yes and no," Kinch began, "He is somewhere down in the tunnels but we don't know where."
Wilson took in the flashlights and the dark tunnels, "I take it he still refuses to take the medicine and has gone into hiding?"
"That basically sums it up Joe." Kinch replied. Suddenly a loud hacking cough could be heard to the left of the Heroes. Without hesitation, they followed the sound. Soon they could hear rough wheezing and the sound of shuffling feet.
"There!" Lebeau yelled, catching sight of Hogan a moment before he disappeared around a corner. Everyone darted down the tunnel in pursuit of their CO. The race continued for many minutes, Hogan running down a corridor and the Heroes just out of reach. Eventually though, Hogan made a wrong turn and ended up in a dead end.
"Face Colonel," Wilson panted, "Your trapped, we've got you. Now take your medicine and agree to rest so we can all go back up."
Hogan stood with his back against the wall, gasping for breath. He glanced at each of his men and knew he couldn't escape. He threw his head back and gave a shaky laugh. "Alright," He wheezed, "You win this round, I know when I'm beat." Without another sound, the Heroes surrounded Hogan, all with huge smirks plastered on their faces. Hogan looked at his men and smiled, "What, don't you trust me?" He feigned being upset by the news, "I'm hurt. After all we've been through, you don't trust me enough to walk back to the barracks?"
"We've known you long enough not to trust you when it comes to you and your medicine. We made that mistake earlier." Wilson grinned evilly. Once they arrived back at the barracks, Wilson lead Hogan back to his room, after giving a discreet nod to Lebeau who was fixing the Colonel some coffee. Wilson handed Hogan some pills, which he swallowed down with the help of some coffee. Then he grabbed a spoon and measured out some cough syrup. Hogan glared first at the offending liquid then at the man holding it. Wilson just grinned unfazed by the look he was receiving and looked pointing at the spoon. Seeing how threats would gain him nothing, Hogan gave a loud sigh and swallow the disgusting liquid with a shudder. He quickly downed his remaining coffee to wash away the awful taste. However, to his surprise, he found it was getting increasingly difficult to stay awake. He pried his eyes open to look at the medic and found him still grinning.
"No one respects officers these days" Hogan grumbled to himself just before passing out unconscious. Wilson walked into the common area with a loud sigh "You know for all our sakes, I hope he doesn't get sick again for a long time."
"Hes going to kill you when he wakes up and figures out you drugged his coffee" Lebeau reminded him. Wilson shuddered at the thought. "Stalag 13 may have its first escape, me!"