Title: Perfect
Pairing: Rodolphus/Bellatrix
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Adultery
Word Count: 3 400
Summary: When Bellatrix and Rodolphus were first married, he thought that she would be the perfect wife. Even the Dark Lord approved of the match. The Dark Lord greatly approved of the match.
Author's Notes: Written for deatheaterfest with the prompt "The day Rodolphus realizes he'd lost his wife to the Dark Lord."
This fic has been ficced! deslea wrote the story "Damnable", inspired by this, from Voldemort's perspective. I encourage you to go read it - it can be found at archiveofourownDOTorg/works/862776
Now, enjoy!
)O(
Rodolphus had thought, when he had first been married to Bellatrix, that things would be perfect. He could not have imagined a more perfect woman than her. She was beautiful, her family wealthy and well-blooded, his parents and hers had readily approved the match, and she had glowed on their wedding day in that way that only brides could, with all the promises of eternal marital bliss. Their honeymoon had been more than perfect. Bellatrix had been passionate and attentive, and between the sheets, she had made him promise after breathless, whispered promise that she would never love anyone like she loved him.
But best of all, better still than Bellatrix's beauty or her wealth, or her connections or her promises of everlasting adoration, was the fact that the Dark Lord approved of her.
Rodolphus would not have dreamed of marrying a woman without his Master's approval. His work as a Death Eater was among the most crucial aspects of his life, and though the Dark Lord had never expressly stated that his followers must have his blessing in matters such as marriage, Rodolphus would not have felt secure if he did not have it. He had been fairly sick with nerves when first he brought Bellatrix before the Dark Lord, for already he had been sure that he wanted to marry her more than he had wanted anything before in his life, and he had been sore afraid that the Dark Lord would say that Bellatrix was not a suitable match. Had he said so, Rodolphus would have broken the engagement in an instant, but it would have broken his heart.
But when the Dark Lord appraised Bellatrix, he seemed pleased – no, more than pleased. He cast an approving eye over her while she stood bravely before him, chin up, not wavering under his gaze.
"Your betrothed, Rodolphus?" he asked.
"Yes, my Lord."
"A charming young lady," he said quietly, almost to himself, and Bellatrix responded before Rodolphus could.
"Thank you, my Lord," she said, and held out her hand for a kiss. The Dark Lord took it and brushed his lips lightly against her fingers, and Bellatrix cast a glance at Rodolphus, her eyes gleaming. He could almost hear her thoughts, and they echoed his own. He approves.
The Dark Lord had done more than approve. He attended their wedding – albeit remaining at the back of the chapel, quiet and rather unenthused – and when the honeymoon was over, and Rodolphus returned to his usual work for the Death Eaters, he thought that he was noticing him more. Rodolphus found himself engaged in conversations with his Master, conversations of more matter than simply receiving orders. It was perhaps a touch peculiar, but Rodolphus thought his newfound honour to be nothing short of delightful.
So delightful, in fact, that he did not think of it for a moment when his conversations with the Dark Lord began to turn more and more frequently to Bellatrix. Bellatrix was always on his mind, so it seemed only natural to him that the Dark Lord should ask after her. He was more than happy to tell him about their married life – he readily shared all but the most intimate details when asked, and he thought nothing of it.
Thought nothing of it, at any rate, until the Dark Lord requested an audience with Bellatrix.
"What do you have to say to her, my Lord?" Rodolphus asked when he was told – nay, ordered – to instruct her to meet with him.
"It is not your concern," was the only response that the Dark Lord would give, no matter how Rodolphus insisted that Bellatrix was his wife, and therefore that it was entirely his concern. Rodolphus was stung, but he could hardly argue with his Master, and so he stood by that night and watched Bellatrix preen and prepare herself for the meeting, and he tried not to think that she was putting more effort into her appearance for the Dark Lord's sake than she ever had for his.
"Don't stay out too late," he told her, reaching out to put his arms around her before she Disapparated, but she caught his arms and held them away from her, as if she didn't want to be touched. For a second, Rodolphus felt positively sickened, but then she leaned forward and kissed him gently.
"I won't, Rod, I promise," she assured him, her voice sweet and gentle, and then she stepped back and Disapparated, and Rodolphus felt just a little lonely.
She did not come home early. Rodolphus stayed up as long into the night as he could find justification for, and when he could no longer so much as keep his eyes open, he lay in their bed - their marriage bed, uncomfortably lonely when only he was there - and waited for the sound of a door opening, of familiar footsteps. He waited for the smell of Bellatrix's perfume, the comfortable weight of her body when she lay down in bed next to him, all the little things he had become used to in their nights spent together...
None of it ever came. Rodolphus went to sleep alone, and when he woke up, she was still not there.
Panic gripped him - surely she would not have stayed the whole night with the Dark Lord. Had something happened to her? What could possibly have happened - Bellatrix was not the sort of woman to have been caught up in any of the sorts of unpleasant doings that might keep a woman out all night, surely. She was faithful. She adored him. He was convinced that she would not have done anything untoward - no, nothing.
Had the Aurours found their way to the Dark Lord's home while she had been there? Had she had to fight them, had to protect herself and their Master with no proper training and no one to help? Oh, what a horrible thought that was - how it frightened him.
Rodolphus was out of bed in a second, his stomach twisting with fear, prepared to go to the Dark Lord immediately and demand to know what had happened to his wife - and if the Dark Lord was not there...
But he had only just flung the bedroom door open when he came face-to-face with Bellatrix.
There were dark circles around her eyes and her hair was a mess. She was still wearing her dress from the previous night - and her makeup as well, although her lipstick had faded off and her eye makeup was smeared beneath her eyes. But she was smiling. Smiling far more widely than Rodolphus thought appropriate.
"Where have you been?" he demanded, and he sounded petulant and childish even to himself. He tried to calm himself a little bit to add, "I've been waiting for you. I've been worried."
"Oh, have you?" She barely met his eyes, tossing her head and looking carelessly over her shoulder at the clock that hung on the wall. "I suppose I lost track of time."
"You've been out all night! You could not have lost track of time that thoroughly!"
"The Dark Lord makes very scintillating conversation, as I'm sure that you know." She still wasn't looking at him - in fact, the turned away, as if planning to leave again. Rodolphus caught her arm, and when she looked back at him, she was frowning a little.
"What is it? Are you upset with me?"
"Yes!" Rodolphus's voice began to shake, try as he might to control it. "You- you were out- I told you to come back quickly! What could you possibly have been discussing with the Dark Lord for all these hours?"
"It doesn't concern you."
It angered Rodolphus enough to hear the Dark Lord say that, but hearing it from his wife sent him into a rage. "Do not tell me that it doesn't concern me! You are my wife! Had you spent the night with any man other than the Dark Lord, I would- you must know what I would think had happened, were it not the Dark Lord!"
"You're a child, Rodolphus," Bellatrix told him disparagingly, and she wrenched her arm out of his grip. "If you want to stew in jealousy because your wife spent one night away from you, I will not try to stop you, but don't take your angers out on me - you must know that nothing happened between me and the Dark Lord."
"I know! Rodolphus's face burned afresh at the sneer on her face. "I only mean that- had it been another man- one whose virtues I did not trust so fully as I trust the Dark Lord's..."
"Well, it was not another man," said Bellatrix, then she did turn away and started back down the stairs. "I was only here to tell you that I will be spending Sunday with him as well - he has some matters of great importance that he wishes to discuss with me, and only me - you and the other Death Eaters will not be privy to them." He could hear the sneer in her voice, the triumph that the Dark Lord had some information that he wished only to share with her, not with her husband or any of the men who had been in the Dark Lord's service for so long. Rodolphus would have slapped her for her smugness if he had the nerve.
But he did not have the nerve, and he watched her go down the stairs and exit the manor - perhaps to go back to the Dark Lord already, he thought, feeling a knot of hatred bubble in his stomach - and he said nothing.
Coward.
But no, that was foolish of him to think. He was no coward, he told himself. He was doing the Dark Lord's bidding by letting his wife see him - it was what his Master wanted...
But it became more and more difficult to think of it that way - as doing what the Dark Lord wanted of him and his wife - when Bellatrix took to spending more nights with their Master than with him.
Even at his most accepting, even when he reminded himself over and over again that Bellatrix's relationship with the Dark Lord was nothing more than a sharing of similar principles of morality and politics, Rodolphus could not help seeing the flush on her face when she returned as one of pleasure, the smile on her lips a little less than innocent, the way her hair and clothes were a touch dishevelled just the slightest bit suggestive...
And she refused to ever speak in any detail about what she had done with the Dark Lord. She would give vague and evasive answers if he asked her what they had been discussing, but she didn't even respond to more prying questions - was anyone else there? Have you eaten? Slept?. She acted as though Rodolphus was intruding on her privacy to ask such things, and he privately fumed to think that she did not consider it his business as her husband.
"The Dark Lord would tell you if he wished you to know what we discuss," she told him, but even that, he found difficult to believe. The Dark Lord's interest in him had dropped off sharply after the first night that Bellatrix spent with him, much to Rodolphus's displeasure. He frequently found himself wondering if the Dark Lord had only been using him as a means to come in contact with his wife, and though he would try to convince himself otherwise, he could never find a reason why he should not believe exactly that.
Bellatrix was no help in that matter either. She refused to reassure Rodolphus - as he thought a wife should do - that the Dark Lord surely had singular interest in him that was quite disconnected from any interest he had in her. She did not tell him that, if the Dark Lord had only wanted her, he would not have made Rodolphus a Death Eater, and somehow, such things were not so convincing when Rodolphus was only telling them to himself.
He loathed as well his distrust for Bellatrix, for it was all too recently that they had been newly wedded and he had been convinced that their lives together would be happy and free of any of the distasteful elements that he had seen in his parents' marriage. It was far too soon for him to suspect her of infidelity, and it was far too soon for her to be spending her nights with another man, no matter how decorous the nights might be.
"Will you be taking the Dark Mark?" Rodolphus asked Bellatrix one night, and she only smiled and looked down at her arm, touching it lightly.
"I may only hope," she said softly, sounding pleased and a touch reverent. "I may only hope that someday, the Dark Lord shall see fit to mark me as his own."
Rodolphus let out a small snort and turned away from her then, but watched her reflection in a darkened window as she continued to caress her arm, stroking her thumb around the exact spot that, on him, marked the centre of the snake's head.
He could not imagine what use the Dark Lord might have for her. She was a woman, and not at all suited to his ranks – being as she was young, and raised in a family that did not allow women to learn to fight. Rodolphus would have told her as much, but she looked so dreamy, so wistful that he couldn't bring himself to say so. In spite of any flaws she had, he loved her, and he would never wish to disappoint or distress her.
And yet she did not seem to hold the same regard for him.
Late one cold winter's evening, Bellatrix slipped into Rodolphus's study and put her arms around his neck, her lips brushing against the side of his throat. "Rodolphus, dearest?" she murmured, and in the familiar honeyed tones that he knew all too well meant that she was about to ask a favour of him.
"Yes?"
"The Dark Lord has asked me to come to his manor and he expects me to stay for the night – perhaps for tomorrow as well." She ran her finger in a small circle on his chest.
"You won't mind too dreadfully if I do, will you, darling?"
Rodolphus stiffened. "All night and tomorrow as well?"
"Yes – he said it was most important. But highly confidential – he requested that I did not share any details of our meeting with you. You understand, of course, don't you, Rodolphus?"
"Bellatrix…" Rodolphus was aware of tears choking his voice and he pulled away from her. "You must know how this looks to me."
She widened her eyes innocently. "Why, Rodolphus, I've no idea what you mean. You know that the Dark Lord is most diligent about keeping secrets…"
"But I am your husband!"
"That's of no matter to the Dark Lord." Bellatrix straightened and placed her hands on her hips. "He doesn't care whether you're my husband – what he cares about is that I can fulfil the duties that he wants from me."
"Duties that you cannot tell your husband about."
"Rodolphus, you know how important they–"
"Just go!" he snapped, turning away from her and running his hand roughly through his hair. "Go, and enjoy whatever it is that he'll have you do."
"I'm sure that I will," Bellatrix snapped back, voice as imperious as ever, as if she couldn't even tell that Rodolphus was accusing her of infidelity, and she swept out, slamming the door behind her.
Rodolphus spent the rest of the evening sagging in his seat in the study, slowly twisting his wedding ring around and around his finger and brooding over Bellatrix.
There were a thousand perfectly reasonable explanations for why she was not permitted to tell Rodolphus why the Dark Lord would be keeping her all night. Perhaps she was being assigned a highly sensitive task, and anyone who knew about it would be placed in danger. Perhaps the Dark Lord was testing Rodolphus's trust, trying to determine whether Rodolphus had enough faith in his Master to refrain from assuming that he was taking advantage of his wife.
Or perhaps… perhaps they really were…
It was quite dark outside and still Rodolphus felt no urge to sleep. His stomach and chest were tight with an unpleasant emotion that he thought could only be jealousy, unfounded as he tried to believe that it was.
He stood up, pushing his chair back, and began to pace his study, becoming more frenzied with every passing second. He could not stand the doubting, disbelieving that his wife would ever be unfaithful to him while knowing perfectly well that any woman would prefer the Dark Lord's power over his less-than-perfect looks and talents and family name. He might make a suitable enough match for marriage, but Bellatrix might have quickly become bored – might prefer a man with more danger about him…
He couldn't endure it.
Rodolphus would simply have to go to the Dark Lord. He would look him in the eye – interrupt whatever he was doing with Bellatrix – and he would demand to know what was happening between him and Bellatrix. If the Dark Lord could say that their relationship was nothing more than he had with any other Death Eater, then Rodolphus would no longer worry. And if the Dark Lord said otherwise…
Well. At least the suspense would be over.
He grabbed up his cloak and pulled it around his shoulders, leaving the house with his head bowed and his hands clenched into fists, one tightly around his wand, just in case he needed to use it. He hoped he wouldn't. Magic was another field in which the Dark Lord was superior to him.
Most of the windows in the Dark Lord's manor were dark, but a light burned in one upstairs, and Rodolphus's chest tightened anew. He could not stop himself from imagining what might be happening in that lit room – perhaps it was only an orderly discussion of Dark Magic over tea, or perhaps…
He strode up to the door and flung it wide open – Death Eaters who were as close to the Dark Lord's inner circle as he was were allowed certain privileges, including freedom of access to the manor, as it did act as headquarters. It was a handsome manor, but Rodolphus did not stop to admire the fine foyer, decorated with paintings and a crystal chandelier. Even before a house-elf could approach him and ask him what he wanted, he was bounding up the stairs, trying to plot in his mind where the lit window would be.
But when he reached the second floor and paused, he didn't need to think to know what room was occupied.
Rodolphus could hear movement, and he edged down the corridor until the noises were at their loudest, then paused and rested his ear against the door.
Soft creaking. The sound of fabric running against fabric. Quiet, feminine, all-too-familiar sighs.
And then Bellatrix's voice, sweet and breathless as he had only heard it in their bed on their honeymoon. She was whispering.
"Oh… my Lord."
Rodolphus did not need to open the door and look in. He did not want to see exactly what was happening between them – he could already tell far more clearly than he wanted.
He leaned against the wall, his head spinning and his heart breaking, even as Bellatrix still moaned in the next room, wordless groans punctuated by unintelligible but undoubtedly lustful little whispers and the occasional few words in the Dark Lord's unmistakable voice…
But he was not shocked. Not even surprised. He had known already – perhaps known for a very long time, though he had tried to deny it to himself.
When Rodolphus was sure that his legs could support him and that he could walk without his knees buckling, he turned and headed back down the stairs. He kept his head down and his lips pressed tightly together.
After all, what use was there in staying? He'd already lost his wife.
)O(
Fin