A/N: Hello, lovely people who own, or at least have access to, computers, smartphones, and other types of devices that access this wonderful thing known as the internet. It's been a while since I've wrote any DBZ humor one-shots, particularly one starring everyone's favorite mischievous little Prince Vegeta. But I hope you all enjoy this little bout of madness. And all flames will be used in preparing a sweet treat for our not so sweet little prince.

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ, DBS, or any of the characters, Akira Toriyama does.

...

"Nappa!"

The General of the Saiyan Army groaned softly when he heard the imperious voice of Prince Vegeta echoing throughout the halls of the Saiyan Palace. King Vegeta had left earlier that morning for a PTO conference off-planet and had decided to once again to leave the troublemaking prince home. This, of course, did not sit well with the Saiyan toddler, who would of course never miss the chance to take out his displeasure on his hapless caretaker.

"Nappa!" the prince called again. "Get in here, you brainless oaf!"

The burly Saiyan sighed heavily as he entered the room to see Prince Vegeta already dressed and no doubt ready for a day full of raising hell.

"What do you want?" Nappa asked.

"You will watch how you speak to the Prince of All Saiyans," Vegeta snapped. "And as for what I want, I want something sweet!"

"But you haven't had breakfast-"

"Then I'll have something sweet for breakfast!" the young heir to the Saiyan throne barked.

"Great, he wants sweets first thing in the morning," Nappa grumbled under his breath.

"What was that?" the child's onyx eyes filled with fury.

"Nothing," his reluctant bodyguard answered hastily.

"Good. Now move your hide and get my breakfast," Vegeta ordered.

...

"What is this?" the four-year-old prince asked, looking down at the bright pink slices of fruit before him. It was unlike any he had ever seen before, so it must have come from off Vegeta-Sei.

"It's a Chalara fruit," Nappa answered. "The flavor starts off as a bit tart but then it becomes sweet."

Frowning, Vegeta poked at one of the slices, only for a drop of the juice to fly straight into his eye.

"NAPPA!" the child snarled, rubbing his eye furiously. "ARE YOU TRYING TO RENDER ME BLIND WITH THIS ACCURSED FRUIT?!"

"That's ridiculous."

"Oh, so now my predicament is ridiculous, is it?"

"Of course not. That's not what I meant."

"Then speak clearly, I wasn't educated in idiocy," Vegeta quipped. "Now make yourself useful and fetch something to clean this mess you caused. And while you're at it, bring something that's actually fit for me to consume."

Nappa rolled his eyes.

"Did I just see you-" Vegeta started.

"No," Nappa answered quickly and hurried off to do the prince's bidding.

A few moments later, the Saiyan general returned with a box.

"And this is…?" the toddler's arms were crossed and he looked completely unimpressed, even when Nappa opened the box to reveal what appeared to be…chocolate!"

"These are Lasarian chocolate bars," the commander of the Saiyan Army informed his royal charge. "They arrived just this morning."

Without warning, the small prince swiftly yanked the box from Nappa's grasp and reached inside. Within mere seconds, the child withdrew his hand to find that his white glove was now smeared with melted chocolate.

"You let them melt?!" Vegeta screeched as his hand collided with Nappa's cheek, leaving behind an especially messy handprint as a result. "How dare you! Such a delicacy gone to waste all because of your irresponsibility! Now, I want something else. Something so simple that even you can't mess it up."

Nappa knew he would only be setting himself up for more trouble, but in spite of his better judgment, the older Saiyan found himself asking, "What?"

"I want…" Vegeta paused dramatically before smirking. "A bowl of Destraran cream topped with Nopirian nuts."

Nappa almost sighed in relief, at least that would be a relatively easy request to fulfill as the necessary ingredients were all currently in supply in the royal kitchen, as well as there was nothing the prince could accuse him of ruining. So, Nappa sent a transmission via scouter, informing the cooking staff of the royal hellion's latest demand, and within minutes a bowl of the creamy confection sat before the prince, adorned with slivers of the universally renowned Nopirian nuts.

As the prince picked up his spoon and began to consume the treat, Nappa thought he would be free to see to his own meal when suddenly, Vegeta's spoon fell to the floor and the prince let out a blood-curdling scream.

"Nappa, you blithering idiot!" the flame-haired child snarled. "How dare you allow this thing to give me a headache!"

"But that's not my fault!"

"Of course it is. And you…"

The boy's voice trailed off as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, something he had been taught was unacceptable from a prince, but that little tidbit of information mattered very little at the moment, particularly when Vegeta noticed the red streak that now marred his previously freshly cleaned white glove.

"Nappa! One of the nuts was still encased in a shell," Vegeta glowered at the Saiyan general. "The shell cut the inside of my mouth. You shed my royal blood! And even worse, you shamed me by causing my blood to spill off of the battlefield!"

...

As King Vegeta made his way through the corridors of the Saiyan Palace, he was surprised to find that it was rather quiet. This struck him as odd as whenever his son was left behind due to the boy's incorrigible habit of causing trouble, the prince made his indignation known by generally wreaking havoc on anyone unfortunate enough to be within the vicinity. Perhaps as it had been not even a day this time, the child would not be as angry.

"Hello, Father," the prince greeted, a hint of a smile on his face.

The king was about to reply when at that moment, he received a transmission on his scouter. That blasted Frieza had decided to call yet another meeting, no doubt just an excuse for the arrogant Ice-Jin to posture and prattle on and on about himself, and the Saiyan king's presence was required.

The flame-haired ruler had to resist the urge to reply with less than savory language, both due to his young son being present and the knowledge that Frieza would not hesitate to mete out retribution for the phrase that still threatened to fly from King Vegeta.

"Another meeting, excellent," Prince Vegeta declared, before looking expectantly at his father. "This time, I'm going."

Before the Saiyan monarch had a chance to respond one way or the other, a very frazzled-looking Nappa threw himself at the king's feet.

"Please take him with you!" the burly Saiyan was all but pleading. "PLEASE!"

"I must admit I was considering it until you entered," King Vegeta replied, a hint of a smirk present on his face. "But now I find myself thinking better of it, if only because your behavior amuses me!"

"WHHYYYYYYY?!"

...

...

Alright, I do sincerely hope you all enjoyed that, and if you did feel free to let me know in a review.