this is hopefully the first part in a three part story about mr c leaving the generals. so far im loving writing this; i have the next part finished and in comparison to everything else ive written here im really proud of it! so i hope you enjoy reading as much as i have enjoyed writing
this takes inspiration from "love is all" by tallest man on earth - such a great song with such an ironic title. probably not as appropriate for this chapter as for the next, but i recommend listening anyway.
hope you enjoy!
love is all, from what I've heard, but my heart's learned to kill.
The tension had been unbearable for two weeks already when Larten finally left the Mountain. He had announced his intention to leave only to the Princes at first, weeks ago now, and thanked them in his typical overly polite fashion for all the opportunities afforded to him. For the rest of them it hadn't been particularly ground-breaking news – Paris and Vancha acted as though it had come as no surprise, having noticed a change in the dedication of the high-ranking General over the past couple of years, and Arrow had simply agreed to Larten's request for permission and not thought much else about it, never having been especially close to the orange-haired vampire. For Mika, it had been a very different ordeal. Though he had not relished the thought of Larten joining him as a Prince, he respected the younger vampire enough to understand that he had deserved it every bit as much as the rest of them, and would not have opposed it. In any case, being forced to deal with Larten's infuriating smirk for the rest of his days seemed preferable now to the situation he had been left with.
However many times she had pushed him back and distanced herself from him, Mika had never lost a sense of responsibility for Arra, even if he had learned to hide it. His first thought, however inappropriate, when Crepsley had announced his intention to leave the clan behind, was whether his mate was planning to join him, or indeed whether she knew at all. He had not approached Larten about it – the two maintained a cool distance, years of awkward history behind them that neither wished to delve into in order to achieve a warmer relationship – but he had watched him closely for the next few days. When he had told the Princes, Larten had requested silence about his resignation. Mika had subtly observed his relationships around the Mountain and slowly came to the realisation that none of Larten's acquaintances seemed to know anything about his intentions. Young Gavner Purl, who had never been one to keep his emotions under particular cover, seemed as cheerful and ordinary as ever, and even Seba seemed relaxed and happy with his former assistant. Careful to keep up the pretence of discussing plans for a new tunnel leading towards a slightly safer entrance to the Mountain with Arrow, Mika had watched Larten and Arra eat a quiet breakfast alone one morning, talking and even laughing together as they had always done. It was from Arra's behaviour more than anyone's that Mika knew that nobody had any idea. She had always been fiercely loyal to the clan, and if the idea of resignation had made Crepsley seem ungrateful and borderline treacherous to him, he could only imagine the way it would seem to her.
Trying not to watch them too closely after that, Mika had been in silent turmoil. He was no longer close to Arra particularly, still a little jilted from all those years ago when he had loved her and she had chosen someone else, but occasionally he passed her in Halls and corridors and every time he observed her carefully, watching for any sign that she had either been told or had figured it out for herself. He cared immensely for her still, perhaps he would never stop, and he knew how much the concept of her own cluelessness would hurt her later, when the truth eventually was revealed.
One night, against all his better judgement, Mika had called her over to sit down.
She had only come reluctantly, and with a cautious look in her eyes – the two of them had not spoken one-on-one for over a year, and even before then they had not been at ease together for easily twenty-five. She slid into the seat opposite him and smiled uncomfortably. "Good evening, Mika," she said, brushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear and allowing her eyes to dart around the Hall, unwilling to settle on him. She had obviously been training, flushed and still brimming with energy. She was very much changed from the young vampire he had grown apart from. She was a General now, and though she had not physically aged much, he could tell the difference in her new, hard eyes, and the critical firm line of her mouth. Before she had been very young, full of talent but inexperienced, but now she was a professional. He was proud for a second before he realized that the feeling was inappropriate. "Is there something you needed to discuss with me? I do not mean to rush you, but I agreed to attend a briefing –"
"—I promise I won't keep you long," Mika reassured her, put off by the business-like way she addressed him, as though she had forgotten all about their past together now and he was just one of the Princes to her, a meaningless superior. He forced himself to clear his throat, and then finally met her eyes. "Arra, have you spoken much to Larten?"
It was the worst choice of topic for their first conversation in such a long time, and Mika flinched after he let the foolish sentence slip out. Arra remained silent, observing him suspiciously.
"With all due respect, Sire," she said coolly, and nothing infuriated him more than to hear that distant way of speaking again. "I often do speak to him, as is the nature of being mates. I speak to him every morning and every evening and sometimes indeed we even speak in between. Is that all you were intending to ask me?"
She was annoyed already, he couldn't help noting, her infamous temper constrained by the vampire hierarchy and years of hard work on her decorum. It was also painfully clear that she had no idea – how had Larten not been intending to tell her, how could he have been such a coward? "No, that's not all," he said, and clenched a fist under the table. She raised one dark eyebrow, and he threw himself into it fully, seeing no other way around it. "Has he told you about his intention to leave the clan?"
There was a moment of shocked silence, and then his old Arra was back for a second, letting out a scoff at his ridiculousness. "He has no such intention," she sniffed, not glaring at him but narrowing her eyes. "He is about to be invested. You of all people would know, Sire."
"No," Mika said quickly, sensing her temptation to leave. "I promise you, Arra, he has no intention of going through with the investiture. He has already approached the Princes about his resignation."
Arra opened her mouth and shut it again, speechless, and then leaned in across the table towards him, frowning deeply. "What possible business is this of yours?" she hissed venomously. "If Larten is intending to resign, which is completely implausible in itself, then Larten himself I'm sure would tell me in his own time. How can you suggest that it is of any of your concern at all whether my mate has told me something yet or not?"
Mika was regretting it all already, wishing he had never told her, but it was far too late to turn back. "There is no reason for me to lie to you," he pointed out. "And to me, Arra, you are still my assistant. I care too much to see you remain in the dark about his plans."
It was the final straw for her. "You have lied to me before," she said frostily. "You have never seemed to need much of a reason. And, besides that, I am not your assistant anymore. Don't feel the need to exert yourself in interfering in my affairs in future – as I have told you before, I am of no concern to you any longer."
Responding to that would have been pointless and humiliating, and so Mika had remained silent and watched her back as she stormed away. He had felt terribly guilty that night, and every night for another week after that, wondering if he had interfered inappropriately with Crepsley's master plan and, in the end, injured her pride even more. The next night he had expected to see one of the pair of them, possibly Crepsley in a fury or Arra to join him in resigning. He in fact saw them only together, enjoying another quiet meal alone, exactly as before, talking and laughing as ever. As Mika had made to leave, finished with his bat broth, he noticed Arra pressing the fingertips of her left hand to his right. He knew then that his words had impacted her profoundly, and watched unabashed as she reminded Larten without any need of words of the promises he had made her decades ago, searching his eyes while he spoke for a shred of insincerity. As he leaned in to kiss her, a rare public display of affection for them, she kept her eyes open, and met Mika's across the room briefly before standing to leave.
Every night had been the same after that. They arrived together as usual every morning, and Mika watched his former assistant become more and more affectionate. It did not suit her; she was a private person by nature, and the needy way she wanted their hands constantly to be entwined, or the possessiveness of the kiss she delivered him every time he stood to leave (probably to attend to his General duties that, as she knew deep down, no longer existed) were a sure sign of her desperation, even if only to Mika.
The morning when neither of them appeared for breakfast was the morning Mika knew the storm had finally hit. Word spread fast among the Generals, to whom it had come as a shock, none of them seemingly having expected Larten out of anyone to defect. He noticed Arra training as ever that day, two younger vampires in tow, but he didn't focus too long on her. He had half-expected to feel a little triumphant when the day finally came, happy that she would finally realize that he had not been telling her lies, but there wasn't a shred of happiness involved. He remembered how it had felt to be heartbroken far too well, and he had absolutely no desire to say I told you so with that familiar heartbreak written all over her face.