A/N: This is a one-shot I wrote for the StandUp4Katalina compilation. You can read more about Katalina, her story, and how all this came about at katalina dot fandomcause dot info
This was beta'd by the fabulous, Content1, but I always change things last minute, so all mistakes are mine.
Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
"Code blue! Doctor Winslow to the third floor, please. Code blue, Doctor Winslow to the third floor," a unisexual voice informed over the speakers.
The lean boy furrowed his eyebrows together in scrutiny, trying to recall what the code meant.
"Cardiac arrest?" He said to the older man next to him.
The man nodded in approval. "I'm positive it's Mrs. Dubrovnik. She came in a while ago after tripping down her staircase." A resigned look crossed the man's face and the boy began to realize what it truly meant to be part of the medical field.
Death would surround him, pain lurking around every corner, but he would have to ignore it all. He would have to become stoic and emotionless like the robot his classmate had created for the science fair in 9th grade. Becoming a doctor would drain him physically and emotionally.
But for every patient he might lose, he would save more lives. He would be the one who received that special smile when he tells the patient's family that he/she will be alright. He would be the one who experiences the overwhelming relief after a successful procedure.
It was in this manner that the brown-haired boy had spent most of his senior year in high school, as well as, the consequent months. For every negative he could think of, there was a positive. It had gotten to a point where his future was the only thing he ever thought of. His sister was the first to notice the change, he turmoil within him, and then followed by his father, Edward. Of course, Edward had blown this way out of proportion and contacted his father who had pulled some strings to allow Aiden to shadow Dr. O'Malley throughout the day.
Aiden was glad. At least now, he was doing something. Besides, Emmett O'Malley was a family friend and Aiden actually liked him. The man took nothing seriously. You'd think that would hinder him at work, but combined with his Irish charm and mischievous eyes, he got away with everything.
A constant, loud chanting of his name brought Aiden out of his reverie and turned to look at Dr. O'Malley with amusement and slight exasperation in his eyes.
"I asked if you'd be okay with doing rounds but you weren't even, like, here, man!" Emmett added, his eyes comically widening.
Aiden snorted. "Let's go."
Emmett grinned at the kid. So emo, just like Edward. It was almost uncanny how much they resembled each other. Same eyes, same attitude. They even pulled at their hair in the same manner when they got frustrated. Emmett could count the differences between them on one hand; their hair color, stubbornness, balance, and patience. Aiden had gotten these characteristics from his mother, or lack of in the case of balance. Other than that, you'd think they were twins. Well, discounting the age difference, of course.
Aiden was walking alongside the bulky doctor, trying to ignore his penetrating stare. Emmett had been doing that a lot lately but Aiden wasn't going to ask. The first―and last―time he did, Emmett had mumbled something about comparing lengths. Aiden decided he didn't want to know.
Their first stop was Carita Ripenin, according to the plaque outside the room; a twenty-six year old student who had picked a fight with the wrong person. The patient was sleeping as they entered the room, and Aiden watched as Emmett checked the vitals and the blood sample. Then Emmett wrote down his notes on the pad that was in the holder on the bed's side. Once he was done, he motioned to Aiden to leave and closed the door behind him.
Next was Alicia Young, followed by twelve others. Aiden had stopped keeping track. Most of the patients were unconscious, so the majority of their rounds was carried out in silence. The exceptions were when Aiden got to witness Emmett's childlike charm go to work as he kept a patient entertained while performing a quick check-up. It was almost unnerving to watch his movements, practiced and confident. It was mesmerizing.
Aiden heard a small squeak and he frowned. Rats in the hospital? He backed out the room and followed the sound to the next room. But he couldn't go in; he wasn't authorized. He glanced at the plaque, but it said 'Jane Doe'. He waited until Emmett came out of Mark's―or perhaps it was Mac?―room before twisting the handle. He saw her shifting under the thin, warmed hospital blanket. She probably moved about a centimeter or so and even that looked painful considering her…extensive injuries.
"Car crash," Emmett said as he entered the room. "Her heart's still not as stable as we'd like. She came in yesterday morning. She had nothin' on her, so we used the placeholder name. Not even a driver's license."
"No phone?" Aiden wondered.
"We sent it to our techie. The results are supposed to come back today."
"She's in pain."
Emmett looked at Aiden, carefully. "Of course she is. She got hit by a fucking minivan."
"Well, can't you give her painkillers or something?" Aiden didn't know why but he felt protective of this woman, and he hadn't even seen her face yet.
Emmett grabbed his shoulder, forcing Aiden to turn away from the woman. Concern had replaced the playfulness in his eyes. "You okay, man?"
Aiden contemplated for a minute. "I don't know. Just, uh, tell me when you get the results, alright?"
"Sure, no problem." Emmett nodded before turning his focus to 'Jane'.
Aiden walked around the bed, out of Emmett's way. Staring at the bandaged face, he wondered why she felt familiar. To be honest, there was nothing too extraordinary about her as far as he could tell. Brown hair that was somewhat similar to his, pale skin, pink lips, a button nose and what he guessed was a heart-shaped face. He couldn't tell with all the gauze.
. . .
The rest of the day went by similarly. He acted his job, a shadow, following Emmett everywhere, soaking in all the details. And the more time he spent in the hospital, the more it felt right. Sure there'd be exhausting hours and draining weeks, but that was true for every job. At least this would be one that he'd enjoy.
Aiden had found his calling.
And it showed in his smile and in his eyes. Emmett had noticed the change almost immediately after Aiden had had his epiphany and congratulated him. Aiden found it a bit creepy how much the man noticed.
It's nine-thirty-five p.m. The doctor and his shadow were taking an evening break in the small café located near the lobby, discussing the upcoming football game the family had scheduled for over the weekend. It was the Chicago Bears versus the Detroit Lions. Statistics and comparisons were thrown in the mist of the discussion, used as supports for the predictions of the winning team and MVP, since it was the last Bears' game. Emmett sided with Brian Urlacher while Aiden defended Matt Forte.
It was in the middle of his heated debate that Garrett Denali approached the two men with the Jane Doe from room 317's phone. Emmett noticed Garrett standing two tables over, considering whether to interrupt or not, and waved him over. After a brief introduction between Aiden and the "techie", Garrett slid the Samsung Galaxy SII to the middle of the table. The duo looked at him expectantly.
"Isabella M Swan, thirty-seven, from New Orleans. I already called her emergency contact and left a message."
Emmett snorted. "Louisiana, huh? I was wondering why I didn't recognize her. What was she doing here?"
Garrett shrugged. "Visiting an old friend would be my guess. But I can't be sure."
Aiden absorbed this information with disappointment. He had been hoping at least the name would spark some remembrance within him. Isabella Swan. It sounded alien to his ears.
After Garrett left, Emmett turned to the teenage boy. "You alright? You look like the Hulk flattened ya," he said, winking.
Aiden shook his head, clearing his head. "I think it's time I called it a day. Thanks for letting me tail you, Doc." He stood up and grabbed his jacket. Turning to Emmett, he extended his arm like a professional. Emmett snorted and pulled the boy in for a hug.
"Be careful," he said as he let the boy go after a choking hug. Aiden nodded absentmindedly as he left; Isabella Swan still on his mind.
. . .
As Aiden pulled into his street, his eyes taking in his surroundings. It was then that he noticed the car parked in front his lawn, and Ryan dragging out a thin, redhead from his car. A sinking sense of dread settled in his stomach as he realized who that redhead was. His foot stomped on the gas pedal and he was parking in his driveway before Ryan could pull out his sister.
"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER?!" Aiden yelled, getting out of the car and slamming the door.
Ryan's head snapped up at the words, and his face paled as he noticed the feral look in Aiden's eyes. He placed Nessa softly on the grass before backing up. "N-nothing! I swear! She just had too much to drink, that's all!"
"Then tell me, Ryan, why the hell is she fucking unconscious?" Aiden grabbed Ryan's shirt and pushed him. He had no fucking right to even touch sister, but the faggot had gone and gotten her drunk. "TELL ME, YOU MOTHER FUCKER!" And without even waiting to hear Ryan's excuse, Aiden balled his fist and slammed it against Ryan's cheek.
A scream sounded from both the guys as one tenderly touched his face and the other cradled his palm.
"Get outta here!" Aiden spat out, and Ryan complied without a word. The guilt for getting Nessa drunk, which had been weighing on him during the ride to her house, had doubled seeing his best friend's―her brother's―reaction to it.
By the time Ryan's car was screeching around the corner, Aiden had gotten near his sister and was shaking her awake. He ignored his throbbing fingers and leaned to check her heartbeat, only to sigh in relief when he heard it. He continued to shake her and, at the same time, tried to fish out his phone from his pocket. His dad was probably still at work, so his best bet was grandpa.
As he scrolled down his recent contacts list on his phone, he heard a slight groan. Dropping the phone on the grass, he grabbed Nessa's chin and began shaking it while calling her name.
She groaned again and shifted, her lips jutting out and eyebrows furrowing. "S-stop it, stop it, Denny." She had been a somewhat late-bloomer so instead of 'Aiden', she'd always called him 'Den' which had turned to 'Denny' over the years. A weak hand came up to his forearm, except that she missed and hit herself instead.
Aiden chuckled, thanking God for saving his sister. "You little Idjit, I thought somethin' happened to you." He pulled her in for a tight, one-armed hug while she moaned and hiccupped into her older-brother-by-three-and-a-half-minutes' shoulder.
Slowly, Aiden managed to help Nessa to her feet and to the door. Entering the house, he flipped on all the lights that they passed and headed for the kitchen. Placing her on one the bar stools near the counter, he told her to stay as he left to go get some Advil. Returning, he worked on auto-pilot as he pulled out a glass and filled it with water. He turned to his drooping sister and nudged her before placing the glass of water and the pill in front of her.
"Drink," he urged.
He walked back to kitchen, this time to tend himself. Flexing his fingers a bit, he flinched in pain. Luckily, it didn't feel like anything was broken so he grabbed a paper towel and some ice cubes before wrapping the cubes with the towel and placing it in a Ziploc. Slowly and softly, he moved his fingers so that they'd lie flat against the island counter and pressed the cold bag against it.
Sitting across from him, Nessa was slowly re-energizing. Her vision cleared (very little) and she felt like she was getting her conscious back. She tried to hold off the headache that fringing upon her brain, hoping that the Advil would kick in soon, but it was in vain. She could feel it creeping on her anyway. She looked up and groaned. Too fast, bad idea. She blinked her eyes, trying to focus on the blue blob in front of her. As her brother shaped into...him, she noticed two things. His face was screwed up in pain and the hand-made ice bag resting on his hand.
"Oh my gosh! What'd you do?" She plopped of the stool and rushed to his side. Only to grab the island counter to hold her up as her head spun.
"Nothing, really. I punched Ryan in the face."
She turned to him, slowly this time, not disturbing her sensitive self. "You what?"
Aiden shrugged. "He was supposed to look after you. He didn't."
Nessa frowned at his words and nonchalant manner. While a part of her was flattered that he would do that for her, Ryan was still his best friend.
"You know you didn't hav―"
"Tell me why." He interrupted, staring at her so she couldn't escape.
Nessa froze and looked down. "Why what?" But she knew exactly what. He was asking why she was drinking at all. Not only was she breaking government laws by drinking underage, but she personally hated the taste of alcohol.
"Why'd get drunk?"
Nessa shrugged. "I felt like it."
She heard her brother move but didn't look up. She didn't want to tell him why, but he was going to make her. She knew he meant well, and he was probably the only person in the world who could come close understanding her pain. But she was hesitant because she didn't want this to reach her father's ears. Edward had given up so much for them. He could've easily given them up for adoption after their mother left, but he hadn't. He hadn't run away. He had stayed and taken care of their every need while maintaining a career as a lawyer. She didn't want this one moment of insecurity to make him question his achievements as a father. Because he was great, not perfect, but pretty damn close, and she couldn't bear the idea of him doubting himself and spending hours agonizing over this because she knew he would.
Aiden studied his sister carefully. She was his confidant and best friend. She was the one he always went to for advice, the one who stayed behind and played Xbox with him when Carrie broke up with him, the one who used to sleep in his bed when he had nightmares as a child. She was the first person he'd tell anything to and vice versa. She was his study buddy, his Starbucks-gal. They were thick as thieves and everybody knew it. They'd always leaned on each other through everything.
And now, she was hiding something.
It hurt.
But if he could be sure about one thing after accounting her posture, it was that she was in pain. This was one of the rare moments when she wasn't smiling. But he wasn't about to let that shit go on. Being mindful of his hand, he pulled Nessa in for a hug. It said "let me in", "I love you," and "don't be so stupid ever again".
Nessa smiled as she slipped her arms around him. She loved his big brother hugs. Always so comfy and cozy. Besides, his smell never failed to soothe her. She didn't know if just the smell in itself or the familiarity at made her feel safe. Also, she was glad that he didn't pressure her. She needed a while to come into terms with her feelings by herself.
So, they stood there for a while in each other's arms, promising love, protection, and acceptance.
"I just..." she began. "I was thinking...about everything, mom, and how it sucked, and the alcohol, it felt...good. "
Aiden was furious. He didn't exactly see eye-to-eye with Nessa when it comes to their mother. While he wouldn't go as far as calling her a selfish bitch for leaving them, he didn't think about her often and the 'what if's that came with her. She birthed them and then she left. He didn't feel her presence or the lack of.
And honestly, he didn't care because he had all needed in Edward, Carlisle, and Esme...and Emmett, Rose and Tanya, Kate and her crazy-ass, French boyfriend, Laurent. His family was the ones who cared about him, who he cared about. He didn't give two shits about her.
This was why he hated that that woman still had so much control over their lives. Even though she was probably thousands of miles away or possibly dead, she still affected them. She somehow managed to hurt Nessa again. As if the first time wasn't enough.
"I mean, I know it's not her fault she couldn't handle us," Nessa admitted and Aiden's muscles tightened―an impulsive reaction to containing the fury that overwhelmed him. His sister's tendency to take the blame had always frustrated him. Now that irritation only increased considering she was defending the woman who had abandoned them.
"It's not our fault," he insisted, his words taking a rougher edge with his anger.
"It doesn't matter. We're not fighting over this right now." She withdrew from him and headed to the stairs to find some peace in her room.
. . .
"Aiden, Nessa! Dinner's ready!" Edward hollered, taking the pan out of the oven. Setting up three plates on the counter, he cut and slid a square piece of lasagna onto each before taking everything to the dinner table.
He grinned as he heard the pounding steps above him as they ran down the stairs. He was going to miss that. Both the kids were going away for college next year. The house would seem empty and dead without them. Edward could already feel the loneliness creeping on him. But he pushed that aside for now.
For now, he would be happy and cherish this moment. Just like his shrink said.
He gave his kids an once-over as they walked in. Usually he'd see them before dinner, but today, he'd been running late. Fear grabbed him when he noticed Aiden's hand.
"What the hell happened?" He rushed forward to grab him. Aiden pulled back in panic and winced. Too fast.
"Dad," Aiden huffed and Edward looked at him impishly. There was a reason Edward didn't follow his father's, Carlisle's, footsteps to medicine: he was horrible with wounds.
Edward raised his arms up, palms facing the front. "I just wanna look. I won't touch."
Aiden sighed and raised his palm so Edward can see it. Edward stared it, really not knowing what he was looking at. But it looked swollen and from the few basic lessons he'd learned from Carlisle, he knew Aiden had taken care of it properly.
"It's not broken, is it?"
"Nah, just bruised and swollen a bit."
"What happened?"
"Punched a guy in the face."
"Should I know why?"
"Nothing too important."
And that was that. Edward trusted his son to come talk if something was bothering him.
"Let's eat then." Edward grinned and pulled out a chair for Nessa. The kids smiled back for their father's grin was infectious.
The first few moments of their dinner passed in silence while each thought about everything and nothing at all before Edward took the lead.
"So, you and Clara had fun?" He asked Nessa while cutting a piece of pasta and popping it into his mouth. Clara and Nessa had been best friends since kindergarten but Clara had moved to another county a few years ago, so they couldn't hang out as much as they'd like. They had been planning this Girls' Day Out for weeks; it was hard to match schedules now that both of them were working.
"Yeah," Nessa smiled. "We, uh, we went out to the outlets and then came back for lunch. We hung out at the park for a bit before I had to go to work."
"Is she still crazy?" Aiden wondered.
Edward grinned at the thought of Clara. As far as he knew, the young woman had absolutely no filters.
Nessa chuckled. "Oh, yeah." She stabbed at the pasta and twirled the fork before bringing the food to her mouth.
"And you? How did the shadowing go?" Edward had been a little hesitant in the beginning, worrying Aiden might be intruding in the hospital.
"Emmett's as crazy as ever but other than that, it was fun. I can see myself doing that forever."
Edward grimaced a bit before catching himself. "Glad you figured that out." Despite the remark, he was happy that Aiden had finally found a path that was right for him.
Aiden laughed at his father's distaste for medicine before jumping into a much more serious issue. "So I'm thinking of accepting John Hopkins." In his the senior year of his high school, Aiden had applied to range of universities, not knowing which profession he wanted to choose.
Edward's heart skipped a beat before functioning again. His son would be so far away. Don't be so selfish, he reprimanded himself, he's going to be a great doctor. But Edward had never been without his children for more than a few weeks from the day they were born. And now, both of them were leaving; Aiden to Baltimore, while Nessa had chosen California. What if something went wrong? What if something happened to them? He wouldn't be able to live. He was already simply surviving...
"Dad," Aiden called to bring his father out of musings. He was thinking too much, Aiden could tell. He had to stop him before Edward started panicking. He smiled when Edward focused back on them. "We'll be fine, I promise."
It warmed Aiden's heart to be reminded how much their father cared them. Most of the kids would've been embarrassed that their parents making such a big deal out of this, but for the Cullen kids, their father's worry was a physical manifestation of his love for them. Something they never witnessed too often.
Edward sighed and smiled wryly. "I know. I just―I don't have to worry about you guys anymore. I mean, I will, but there's not going to anything I can do about it. It'll be so weird."
"Don't worry, Daddy, I'll call you all so it'll be like I'm still here," Nessa promised. "Besides, I won't have anyone else to talk to when I first get there anyway."
"So, you're saying you'll forget about this old man once you get friends, uh? I'm hurt." Edward mock-pouted.
Nessa huffed. "Dad, you know that's not what I meant. I'll never forget about you." She got up and slipped her hands around her daddy's neck. "I love you too much." She kissed his head.
Edward smiled and returned her hug tightly. He knew he was being ridiculous but he couldn't help it. They were his and nothing was going to take them away. He let go off his fork and opened his arm, inviting Aiden to join the hug. Aiden shook his head lightly before enveloping his father and his sister in a family hug. Many would've been blushing by this point but this family was different. They weren't exactly a traditional family, but their love for each other was endless and unyielding.
When he'd found Bella's note, a crushing depression had set upon him. Ten simple words she'd wrote to him as if they'd explain her betrayal. As if telling him that she still had loved him would make it hurt any less! He had denied her words for weeks, thinking that she'd come back. When she didn't, he'd closed off. It had been a life without his love, his heart, and he hadn't care about anything anymore. Not even his kids. When his parents had checked up on him and found him surrounded by crushed beer bottles, their first reaction had been to take his children away…partly to protect and take care of the kids and partly hoping that their actions would bring Edward out of his despair. It hadn't.
Not immediately at least. It had taken Edward years to come to terms with her deception. It had taken him two years to pull out of his little cocoon and show up on his parents' footsteps to gather his children. They'd just turned four that week. In the years to come, Edward had tried to forget her. He'd moved to a single-family home that his parents had got and agreed to take care of until he'd be employed after burning all the pictures of her and her belongings in a fit of rage. He'd gone around campus fucking anything with a pussy. It hadn't been until he'd started working, taking on more responsibilities, and his mother had become too tired to baby-sit his growing kids every day that he'd gotten his head out of his ass and realized his mistakes and with a horrid sensation, the example he'd been setting for his kids.
His first step towards improvement had been to call a therapist. His parents had been bugging him about seeing one ever since she'd left and he hadn't seen the deep, bloodied marks she'd left on him until then. After that, everything had fallen into place slowly but nicely. By that time, he'd established himself well in the high-end of his profession so he'd been in a position to inform his colleagues that he would be taking less tedious clients in exchange to being a better father. At a measure pace, his therapist, Dr. Cerys Walker, had forced him to come to terms with her leaving, see a faint sliver Bella's perspective and shown him the path for moving on.
If only that'd helped. Actually, the first two aided immensely in sorting his thoughts and emotions about life in general but they had failed to help him to move on. And after thirteen blind-dates set up by either, Emmett's wife, Rose, or his own mother that'd failed to work and two month-long relationships, he'd given up. He couldn't find where he'd gone wrong with all those women until the redhead that'd blowing him had pointed out that he'd called her hair "fucking beautiful and brown". That had been when he'd just given up on love and simply focused on his children and work.
"So since we're adults and will be leaving for college soon, I think you should tell us about mom." Nessa rushed out, interrupting his thoughts, as she took her seat.
She'd been thinking about asking for a while now. Although her father never hid anything from them, he usually avoided the topic, imparting with them only the basics. Her name was Bella and that she was a selfless person whose father had abused her as a child and mother had left her when she was born, which why Bella had convinced herself that she would be a horrible mother and left them. And through the random questions Nessa wondered about, the kids had learned about Bella's love for classics, forensic science, the sun, colors and old-fashioned things.
Edward froze. "I-I already told you." He didn't know what Nessa wanted. Besides, he had to have at least four bottles of beer in him before he thought about her.
Nessa was a bit annoyed. "I want to know her name, favorite color, what kind of music she liked, how she had her coffee, whether or not she was a morning person. Dad, I need to know. Before I move a thousand miles from here, I want to know about the woman who gave birth to me. How much I'm like her." Nessa looked at her daddy, begging him to understand. She didn't like to see the pain in his eyes but this was her last chance.
Edward took a deep breath and blew it out noisily. She was right; she had the right to know.
He closed his eyes and forced his memories of his love into the forefront of his mind. He smiled as he remembered Bella's grumpy face as she filled her extra-large mug to its brim with coffee. He wished he hadn't thrown it away. He wished hadn't flung it across room, shattering it to pieces before dumping it in the garbage.
He drew in a shaky breath. "Your mother was most definitely not a morning person, but she liked to twirl around in her long skirts with the blinds open listening to the radio. She, uh, didn't have a favorite color; it changed by day." He forced himself to breathe and gritted his teeth, trying to keep his eyes dry. "She hated black coffee. Her drink was more cream and milk than actual coffee. We used to argue over that all the time." He paused, breathing slowly, his hands buried in his hair, covering his face.
Aiden stared at his father, his pain, his own anger rearing its ugly head again. He hated how much of a hold she had on their family even after sixteen years and thousands of miles. His hand tightened into a fist, trying to get a rein on his emotions. He could have left, but he didn't. He stayed to prove that the woman who gave birth to them has nothing in common with himself or Nessa.
"Her name―" Edward paused to clear his throat "―is Bella Marie Swan. She was from this podunk town in Washington State called Forks. She swore that she would count on her hands the numbers of times the sun shined in that 'fucking moldy backwater town'." Edward shook his head, his heart less heavy as he moved onto funnier memories.
"I like her name. It's beautiful." Nessa commented, trying to lighten the mood.
"She was."
And that was the end of that conversation. The trio stood up and gathered their plates and utensils to take to the sink where Edward washed, Nessa dried and Aiden put them back in the shelves. This was the manner they'd been doing it for years.
After the chore was done, they separated ways, muttering goodnights. The kids headed for their cozy beds; Nessa trying to wrap her head around everything dad had said, and Aiden trying to forget it all. Edward grabbed his bag and walked to his office, which was located on the first floor, to finish going through his clients' records.
Bella sounded cool, Nessa decided. A bit hippy but cool.
As she lay there cocooned in her turquoise comforter, Nessa's mind drifted. She imagined what could have been. How she could've woken up to the sweet smell of coffee and walked down the maroon, carpeted stairs to a kitchen where the floor was checkered, the island was painted sky blue, and the cabinets were bought in the shade of pearl white. How the living room could've been a mash of flat screens, iPod docks, video games, embroidered couch pillows, asymmetrical lamps and the aroma of incense sticks.
She sighed forlornly and a few tears escaped from under her eyelids. She sat up, giving up on sleep, and grabbed her latest diary from underneath her bed. When she was in second grade, her teacher told the class to write a letter to someone, introducing yourself. Nessa had written to her mom. The letter only consisted of five sentences in total and two of them were "Dear Mom" and "Love, Nessa," but she had liked the idea so much that she had gone home and demanded that Edward get her a dairy. Edward had bought her one, thinking it was just a phase, but it became so much more. It was an outlet for Nessa. Something she did that made her feel a teeny bit closer to her mother. When she was happy, she wrote to Bella. When Matt cheated on her, Nessa drew his face in her dairy and stomped on it. She wrote random poems, thoughts, and needs. She wrote life lessons in there, what she learned, what she must never repeat.
She covered every event in her life in her diaries, hoping that one day she'd get to meet her mother. When she did, Nessa would give the diaries to Bella so that Bella could catch up on what she had missed during her absence.
Once she had written down her every thought, Nessa slid the diary back under her bed and turned off her bedside lamp.
. . .
The following few weeks passed in a blur for the Cullens. Edward had just signed on a high-profile client and the kids began juggling double shifts to save up for college. With the exception of dinner, the family didn't really see much of each other. So they were eager when Esme called for a family-weekend. Not only was it two days without any outside disturbances (i.e.: anything with internet access and/or the ability to call or text someone), but Esme was also a superb planner. Barbecue, movies, sundaes, swimming, football, and scrumptious food were to be expected. And of course, it was always fun to see Emmett.
The Cullens were able to discuss this and their weekly happenings at dinner. Edward had come back early, having given up on trying to convince Mr. Volterra the inefficiency of filing a lawsuit while there were much more reasonable ways to go about getting the company's money back.
"…I just don't get why she would take him back after everything gone through. I mean, I'm not even sure if they're meant to be together!" Nessa finished her rant, punctuating by leaning back on her chair with a huff and crossing her arms.
Aiden smirked. "Just let it go, Ness. It's their life."
Nessa gasped. He didn't understand! "It's not just 'their life', it's mine too, considering how I always taking care of her when that son-of-a-bitch breaks up with her again. I don't why she won't listen to me and just ignore him."
Aiden opened his mouth to pacify his sister again when the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it." Edward shot up and walked out of the kitchen. While he loved Nessa until death, he could not stand it when she began ranting.
He flipped the lock and twisted the knob to open the door…and then stopped halfway as he smiled at the stranger.
"Hello, may I help you?" Edward tried to remember if he had seen this black-haired, pixie-sized woman somewhere. She didn't look like a saleswoman.
The woman smiled. She had one of those light-up-the-entire-room smiles. "Hi, Edward! It's nice to finally meet you! I'm not surprised she didn't tell you anything about me so I guess I'll have to introduce myself. I'm Alice and, my husband's name is Jasper. He's a psychiatrist. We're moved to New Orleans after we got married. I love South and their hospitality. Jasper was originally from Texas, but his family moved to New York after his dad got transferred when he was in middle school. Can't complain, now, can I? Or Jazzy, that's my husband, and I would've never met. I think you'll like him. He's one of those calm people who doesn't talk that much but always means well. I love my Jazzy. Oh, and I'm a fashion slash wedding designer. Weddings mostly 'cause the fashion business is a pile of shit right now. I was born and raised in New York. Just like you were born and raised here in Chicago. Don't worry, I'm not a stalker, she just told me a lot about you. She loves you, you know? So where is she?"
Edward stared at the smiling woman who had just talked for minutes straight without pausing to take a breath while his mind sifted through all that information and made sense of it. In the end, he had one question.
"Who's she?"
"What?" Alice cocked her eyebrow at him.
"You asked where 'she' is. Who's she?"
Alice narrowed her eyes. If this idiot had done something to her best friend, he would pay. It would be a pity because she really liked him. "Bella. Where is she?"
Edward stiffened at her name. It'd been sixteen years since she left, but his love for her would never changed and it never will. He knew that now after his sessions with Dr. Marshall. He'd accepted that there would be no other woman.
It was his fault. She'd told him she wasn't ready to be a mother. She wasn't secure enough to be one. She was just beginning to get past the blows her own father had given to her mind and body. But he had ignored all of her concerns and knocked her up. She even tried. She tried so hard. But she'd done it by herself while Edward had made meager contributions like shopping for clothes, food, and cribs while continuing his school. Bella had stopped her education after his constant bugging about their babies' safety. He had taken the only way she could have felt normal and…free; a place where she could have found some support and comfort.
Alice snapped her fingers in front of his face, impatient. "Hello? Bella?"
Edward closed his eyes and tried to calm down. Pixi—Alice annoying him, making him remember. "I don't know what you're talking about." He wanted to laugh. Bella being here was as probable as pigs flying. He wanted to cry.
"Dad! Who is it?" Nessa hollered from the dining room. Her voice came closer. "Dad!"
Edward turned to see his kids standing in the doorway that led to the living room, staring at Alice.
"Who's that?" Aiden was the one to ask.
"Thi―"
"Hi, I'm Alice. I'm looking for your mother, Isabella. Have you seen her? 'Cause she was supposed to be here." Alice was pissed and worried. Bella hadn't called in over two weeks, and if she wasn't here...
Nessa gasped. "My mother? Here? How? Why?" She was confused. Had Edward known? "Dad?"
Edward shook his head, still in shock.
Aiden was thinking. He was trying to figure out why the name felt familiar.
Bella Marie Swan, his father had said. Isabella Marie Swan. Isabella Swan. Sounded so familiar. He ran through the last couple of weeks in his mind, trying to remember a time when he interacted with a stranger. The library, the hospital, the coffee shop, the mov…the hospital!
His eyes widened as the pieces in his mind came together to make a horrid reality. Yes, he hated his mother for what she'd done to them, but he never wanted her dead.
"She's in the hospital," he blurted out, panic rising inside of him. Six eyes stared at him, waiting for elaboration. "I didn't know then. She-the woman I saw-she was in a car crash."
Nessa gasped, and Alice shook her head, muttering "no" over and over.
Edward snapped back to reality and turned to his son. "Car crash?" Pain seared through him, burning him alive. He didn't pause to think as he grabbed the car keys and rushed out of the house to the garage. He didn't wait to see if anyone followed him.
Alice turned to Aiden. "How bad was it?"
Aiden sighed, remembering all the gauze. "Bad. But I think she's fine now." He remembered Emmett saying something about her heart.
"I think we should follow him," Alice muttered. Aiden nodded and left to get his keys. By the time he was back, Alice was getting in her car...and Nessa was still.
"Ness?" Aiden tugged on her arm.
Nessa blinked, clearing her mind. She had frozen, unsure of...everything. She had hoped to see her mother for so long, but now that Bella was here, Nessa didn't know what happened next.
Aiden smiled and brought his twin in for a hug. He could feel Nessa's fear. Before it had been easy to say that he hated Bella, he still did, but now he was willing to give her a chance. She'd almost killed herself by coming here and at least Aiden could do was listen. It was how he was raised. There's always a way to compromise and everybody got a fair turn.
After a few moments, he felt Nessa relax, and let her go. They locked the house, got into his Audi and pulled out into the streets with Alice following them.
Edward rushed to the front desk of the hospital, his chest heaving from the run. His urgency earned a few dirty looks but he didn't care.
"Isabella swan?" he informed Candie, the receptionist. She gave him a slow once-over before snapping out of her haze and looking up Bella in her computer, her heart stuttering. Man, talk about good genes. She sighed, remembering Dr. Cullen.
"Room 317, Mr. Cullen." Candie flashed him a seductive smile, but he was already gone.
Squeezing into a crowded elevator, he looked to see if the button for the sixth floor was alight. It was, so now all he had to do was wait. His hand reached to tug his hair as he glanced at the floor indicator. He was going to see Bella. He was going to see her...after sixteen years.
He groaned as he realized his mistake. What if she didn't want to see him? What if she didn't want him? In her departing note, she said that she loved him, and he had held onto that love, that fragile tendril of hope, until now. That promise was the reason he's alive. Now he was about to find out the substance behind that promise.
He was afraid. He was very well aware of his idiocy for even hoping that she still harbored any kind of love for him. But Alice had said Bella loved him...just a few minutes ago.
He needed a plan. He needed to consider all the possible venues and prepare for each. A bit too late for that but he'll try.
The best possible outcome was if Alice was right. Then he would focus on rebuilding their relationship.
If Bella loved him but didn't want to be with him, he'd respect that.
If she wanted for them to be friends, he'd try to be a good friend.
If she wanted to do nothing with him...he'd leave, Edward decided. Her happiness was the goal. She will get a choice this time around. Whatever she wants, he'd give and he'd take what he could get. He was the reason their entire relationship was in tatters to begin with.
The elevator dinged and the indicator flashed the number six. Edward got out, but he wasn't rushing anymore. She was here. She'd be in her room when he got there. They were going to talk this through like. No more rushing into things. He'd sit and play his cards perfectly so that in the end, he would get his girl.
He walked confidently to Room 317, his mind at peace for once. Everything was clear now that he'd thought through it all. Her happiness, whatever she wants.
He knocked lightly, loud enough for her to hear if she was awake, soft enough for her to ignore if she was unconscious. No answer. He twisted the knob and peeped inside. It was empty. He frowned and stepped in. Looking around, he noticed the wrinkled sheets, dripping faucet, half-empty lunch tray, and...the smell. Her scent, to be exact. It was still the same flowery essence. A strange warm feeling filled through him, one that he hadn't felt in over years. It engulfed every part of him.
"Edward?" he heard a familiar voice ask and turned around. Emmett was standing outside the room, a curious look on his face and a smile on his lips. "What are doing here?"
Edward sighed. "Where is she?" He twisted his torso, pointing to the empty bed.
"You know Bella?" Emmett was cautious. Though she had only been here for a few weeks, he'd begun to think of the seemingly fragile yet stubborn woman as his little sister. It wasn't often he came across a patient so thankful and optimistic. Well, except for the times the topic of family came up. Whether it was when Emmett was sharing his kids' antics or urging Bella to open up about hers, Bella always slipped into this comatose-like state. There was this raw pain that would veil her eyes, but there would be no tears. It was as if she had accepted the pain, expected it. The first time Emmett had seen Bella in this condition, he had overreacted, concluding she had some brain damage that they had missed during the CT.
Edward sighed again, and decided that it was best that best friend knew the truth. "She, um, she's the mother of-of my kids," he blurted out quickly. It wasn't that he was ashamed, but scared. This was the first time he was admitting what had happened to someone outside of his biological family.
Emmett froze, his mind racing to put the pieces together. All the rumors he'd heard about the kids' mom back when he first moved here, what Esme and Carlisle had imparted to him, what Edward's kids told him, Edward's melancholy, Bella's agony, that...that would even explain why Bella was here in Chicago.
"She's in therapy. Walk down that way, turn left and the third door to your right." He raised his arm to demonstrate the directions.
Edward nodded, grateful that Emmett was helping him, that he didn't make a big deal out of it. Edward felt awkward enough as it was. The hospital was not his scene.
"And Edward!" Emmett called as he watched his brother for all intents walk away. Edward turned. "You deserve to be happy. Both of you do. So don't screw it up." Emmett punched his fist to his palm, grinning, but the message was clear. Be stupid, you'll pay.
Edward bobbed his head in acknowledgment before walking to the therapy room. The walls of the room were painted cream, he guessed it was supposed to be welcoming, and almost everything was made of wood. There were a few chairs scattered around, two sets of parallel bars, three sets of training stairs, a few mirrors, and yoga mats spread out haphazardly on the floor. There were four patients in the room but Edward zeroed in on the one with the brown ponytail and pale skin. She was on the parallel bars. There weren't any bandages on her legs as far as Edward could see. His heart tightened uncomfortably as he noticed the empty wheelchair that was waiting for her near the bars' beginning.
He wondered how she was coping with being forced to sit in a chair all day. She was never the type to be tied down. He walked up to the brown-haired woman and her therapist, slowly, and nodded in greeting when the doctor noticed him.
Alice, Nessa and Aiden squeezed out of the elevator at the sixth floor and hurried to room 317. The twins stopped when they saw Emmett, but Alice sprinted into the room, only to find it empty. They looked at Emmett for an answer, positive that Emmett had probably run into Edward and knew everything by now. Emmett jabbed his thumb behind him and repeated the directions to the therapy room. They arrived at its door just in time to see Edward talking to the doctor...or maybe not as they noticed the inaction of his head. They saw Bella's legs behind Edward's; she seemed to be leaning on something. Alice pounced forward, intent on being near her best friend, and let a few tears slid down her cheeks; she had been so terrified that something awful had happened to Bella and was grateful that Bella was only a victim to a car crash not a homicide or rape. Aiden stopped her just in time.
"Give them time," he said, pointing to his father—and Bella—with his chin, and then pulled Alice against the wall, fully-intending to eaves-drop.
By the time Edward reached the parallel bars, Bella had noticed him and stilled, her eyes glued to his, her heart beating frantically. She had not expected to see him this soon. She hadn't prepared for this. Her original plan was to march into his house—sixty ounces of beer inside of her—say what she had to, apologize for everything, leave a number and get the hell out. After that, she had planned on waiting for two weeks for a phone call. She had planned to leave the ball in his court, but she knew as she took in the man standing in front of her that it was in hers.
The couple stood frozen, their eyes locked on the others, searching. What were they looking for? No one knew. Not even them. Perhaps, they were simply letting themselves believe that the other was actually there.
Not a hallucination or a dream.
They had both changed over years, grief, stress, and life having taken a toll on them, dulling the youthful spark in their eyes and wrinkling their skin. And yet, they hadn't changed at all. The heat in their scrutiny of the other was enough to make the other shudder under its intensity as always. The invisible pull between them still crackled just as loudly, urging to touch, to embrace their lost halves. The love that remained between them caused their hearts to swell in relief, in joy.
Blood rushed to Bella's cheek as she stood under his gaze. She was surprised...a bit. She'd expected him to look different but she hadn't realized that age would merely punctuate his good looks. His eyes had changed over the years, deepening into a forest green, deepening the potency of it. She shifted lightly, subtly squeezing her thighs together. His face had widened a bit, giving him a matured, commanding feel. A scene from her current read, Fifty Shades of Grey, flashed through her head along with whips and corsets. Her blush deepened. She was surprised she hadn't jumped him yet. Oh, wait, she couldn't, she realized her current state. Perhaps, she should be more concerned about him jumping her.
He was going to die. He was positive. Die of curiosity and desire. What was that woman thinking? Why was she blushing like a fucking tomato? And he knew that look in her eyes. It was one that she always gave him before riding the ever-loving shit out of him. Did she want him? Was she eye-fucking him? He was going to die from blue-balls. That'd be a really painfully, merciless way to go. He cringed mentally as he imagined the events of his death.
This was bad. He wanted her. And when he wanted her, he couldn't think.
This was going to be a disaster.
No, Edward, calm down. Do not screw this up. Fuck. His hands tightened on the bar.
After what seemed like a lot of time for the eaves-droppers outside, Edward let out a low, tired chuckle, breaking the spell. But as he let go of the breath, a parade of emotions overwhelmed him and he struggled to stay above them. He closed his eyes and dropped his head as if he was observing the patterns of the mosaic tiles underneath him, focused on calming the turbulence within me. He would end up doing something stupid if he lets his emotions get away.
"We, uh, we need to talk," he stated once his racing heartbeat had calmed down ever so slightly.
Bella scoffed. "No shit, Sherlock." But underneath her hardened exterior, she was shaking. 'Cause it didn't feel any different, the vibe between them. It felt as if the last sixteen years disappeared, that they still fit together perfectly.
Edward smiled lightly; her sarcasm hasn't changed either. He waited patiently for Bella to get in her wheelchair and then convinced Dr. Verdan, the therapist, to allow him to push her to her room.
Alice, Nessa and Aiden had walked back to the main hallway once they heard Edward talking to the therapist. Sudden nerves settled in the bottom of Nessa's stomach and persuaded Aiden to come with her to the cafeteria. She couldn't handle seeing her mother right now. She needed time to get ready.
So, Alice was left alone in the hallway of third floor where she waited for Edward and Bella. From the second she saw Bella to ten minutes later, the corridor was filled with squeals, light accusations, tears, tight hugs, and more tears. Through the water that spilled out of her eyes, Alice grieved and then let go of that grief. That was her secret, how she was always smiling. And with a simple kiss on the cheek, she departed the couple, claiming to be starving.
Bella chuckled at her bestie's thin-veiled attempt to give them some time. She almost wished Alice had stayed a bit longer. That would've given her some time to think of what she was going to say. She mulled over this as Edward wheeled her into the room and helped her onto the bed. Every touch, every breath that caressed her skin was magnified, causing her to feel light-headed. The light task of lifting and placing her on the hospital bed shifted the mood to something desperate and raw.
But Edward acted normal, as if she didn't ignite a fiery passion within him with a single touch, as he pushed the wheelchair to the foot of the bed and pulled up a chair to be closer to Bella.
"So, how have you been?" Edward leaned back on his chair, brushing his palms on his jean-covered thighs in a nervous fashion.
"Good, I guess. You?"
"Fine. A bit busy, but I've got a handle on things."
A pause.
"You, um, finished your doctorate in law? SJD, right?"
"Yeah, I did."
"Congrats."
"Thanks. You? What have you been up to?"
"Well, I went to university for a while, and then decided on-line classes work better for me. Now, I work as an editor for Vufi publishing."
"Literature, uh? Can't say I'm surprised." Edward was glad that she'd found something that she loved.
"Yeah; it's a busy schedule, though."
"I'm sure."
.
.
.
.
"I'm sorry!" they blurted out simultaneously and then looked at each other in astonishment.
"Why are you apologizing?" they said in unison. Now, their eyes contained a hint of humor.
"Because…" they started again but Edward broke off this time, sighing, waving for Bella to go ahead.
Bella bit her lip as she thought about the things that transpired all those years ago, trying to still her quivering lips. A somber force weighted on the air around them. "You know why," she began softly. "I left you and the kids alone. I was a coward. I...I wish I'd stayed and went to counseling or something. There were so many options, but I chose to run."
Edward wanted to interrupt but he knew she needed this.
"I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry not being there when the kids first went to kindergarten. I'm sorry that I wasn't there to stop you murdering your daughter's first boyfriend—"
"Our," Edward interrupted. "Our daughter."
Tears flooded into her eyes at his acceptance. She nodded her head before continuing, "I'm sorry I wasn't there to stop from murdering our daughter's first boyfriend with your eyes simply because he's not worth her. I-I missed so much! I missed everything!" The teardrops spilled over her eyes, racing down her cheeks. She'd missed prom, graduation, Mother's Days, Christmases, Thanksgivings, New Year's, birthdays, and sweet sixteen and top of all the other little things that mattered.
"When I left, I...I didn't realize, I didn't think or even consider how much I loved them. How much I loved you. I hit Nessa for breaking that vase and I-I just...everything with my dad...just came back to me and…I wasn't a good parent. I was so afraid that I wouldn't be a good mom that I ended up leaving. And it was the stupidest mistake of my life. I will always regret leaving and hurting you and Nessa and Aiden, and I know saying sorry isn't enough, but for now that's all that I can do." She screwed her eyes shut and swiped her cheeks of tears.
Edward reached for her hand. She needed to know that she wasn't alone in this. He felt her regret, her pain. He'd had years to think everything that happened between them through with a clear head, and she needed to know that he understood.
"I was the one who knocked you up."
Bella's eyes snapped to his. Was he seriously trying to take the blame for himself? He was. Idiot.
Edward read these emotions in her eyes and smiled. So much fire. "You made it clear that you didn't want kids, but I did and the pregnancy wasn't exactly planned but I should've been more careful. I should've respected your wishes." He slid his thumb over her palm, soothing her.
"And I wasn't even there to take care of you. I didn't hold your hair when you puked in the morning. I didn't go out and buy you cartons of Rocky Road ice cream because you craved them. I left you by yourself. I'm sorry I did that. I wasn't thinking. Maybe if I'd taken more initiative, you wouldn't have been forced to leave. I took your education away from you! The one place where you could focus on something else…" Edward inhaled deeply. "I was so stupid. We both were."
Bella tightened her hold on his hand, wanting to never let go. "We were, weren't we? Young and stupid." She chuckled lightly before throwing her life on the line. "Sometimes, I just wish we could rewind and start over."
Deep breaths, Bella, deep breaths, she told herself as she waited for him to respond.
Edward smiled ruefully. "Me too."
Bella looked at him and there was an unspoken agreement that passed between them; there's a possibility. They both wanted it, another try, now they just had to give it time.
"How long are staying in Chicago?"
Edward didn't want to get his heart trampled on again. While he understood the reasons behind her actions, they still hurt and it would take a while before he could completely give his heart to her again.
"I don't know. I mean, Vufi's national, and I lived in an apartment in New Orleans, so...it wouldn't be that hard to get rid of."
Bella decided to try this time, give this relationship everything that she possibly could because she couldn't live without her Edward. Her soulmate.
It wouldn't be easy accepting each other into their lives again. Especially since it wasn't just the two of them. Many people had to considered, and not all of them would accept them. Hopefully the ones that mattered did. But, they'd try. It would be them against the world if needed. They'd make it work. Because even after sixteen years, their spark didn't fade. Neither would they.
They would love purely this time. No unnecessary worries. No secrets. No more walls. They'd take their time, set their pace. It would be just them now. They give each other space, respect, love, and attention. They'd go out on picnics, and to the movies. They'd rebuild their love, one brick at a time. They would stay together, so they'd never forget what true love is.
A/N: Raum was kind enough to make me a banner for this baby. You can find said banner on profile.
Thanks for reading!