Author's Notes: I just want to explain (so that none of the readers will get confused) that Tokyo, Japan is 8 hours ahead of Berlin, Germany.
9:00 am Berlin, Germany; 5:00 pm Tokyo, Japan please correct me if I'm wrong :D Anyway I hope you like my story!!!!
Warnings: Shounen-Ai, swearing, major angst. (There is one more but if I write it down, it'll spoil the "surprise." evil laugh)
"speaking"
"thinking"
flashback
Bittersweet Smile
Berlin, Germany, October 25, 2007, 9:00 am
The atmosphere in Berlin, Germany was a gloomy one. It has been raining cats and dogs for the past week.
In a dark apartment near the heart of the city was a sixteen year old boy looking out his bedroom window and listening to the soft pitter patter of the raindrops outside.
Tap
Tap
"Ryoma?"
The boy called Ryoma looked at the intruder near his door. "Buchou."
"It's freezing in here." He looked around the room "Not only that, but all the lights are switched off." Tezuka stated with a stoic face though concern was evident through his voice.
An amused smirk suddenly appeared on Ryoma's face. "Hmm… you seemed to have let yourself in Buchou." Tezuka suddenly felt self-conscious and looked away. "I knocked, but you didn't seem to have heard it."
"Oh." He paused. "Gomen." Tezuka looked at the state Ryoma was in and frowned. "Not only did you not switch on your heater, but you're also not wearing warm clothes. Don't you know it's over 8 degrees?" Laughter suddenly filled the room. "Ne buchou, if you keep talking like that I might come to a conclusion that Oishi-senpai is rubbing off you."
Tezuka sighed and sat at the foot of the bed. "Well, if I didn't take care of you then who would? You're not exactly doing it yourself you know."
An uncomfortable silence suddenly enveloped the room. If Tezuka wasn't himself then he would've fidgeted. "It's been four years you know." Ryoma said after a while then started to look out the window once again. Tezuka's eyes widened and looked outside the same window Ryoma was currently looking at.
"Aa."
"So that is what this is all about. Even after all this time, you're still thinking about HIM."
"Buchou, are you free tomorrow?" Ryoma asked. Tezuka's line of thoughts was broken and his attention was back to the black haired boy. "I'm sorry, what?" Ryoma smirked at Tezuka.
"Mada mada dane buchou"
Tezuka frowned and Ryoma laughed at his facial expression. "I asked whether you're free tomorrow."
"Yes" he answered. "Actually I'm free for the next three days since we have a long weekend in Humboldt1. Why?" Tezuka noticed that Ryoma looked like he was debating whether he'd tell him or not. "Um, can you go with me to the hospital?" he paused to allow what he said to Tezuka to sink in. "The doctor said he needed to do a quick check up before he signs the papers for my operation. Well that's unless of course you already made other arrangements for tomo-"
"What time should I pick you up?"
(o)
Tokyo, Japan, October 25, 2007, 5:00 pm
"I refuse"
"But Fuji-kun, you can't. You're one of the top students here in Tokyo University! It's only logical that you represent the school as the transfer student."
"As you said sensei, I'm one of the top students. So that indicates that there are other students capable of this task." The boy called Fuji answered with a strained smile.
"Demo-"
"You will represent the school whether you like it or not Fuji-kun." Two heads turned to face the new comer. "Principal." They both said at the same time. Fuji looked away. "I don't want to appear rude principal, but as I've told Reika-sensei I refuse."
The principal sighed and turned his back on both Fuji and Reika. "The board of education of this school was the one who chose you Fuji-kun. So whether you like it or not you are to oblige to them. Unless of course-" he paused for a dramatic effect and turned his head to face Fuji. "You want to have a mark on your permanent record."
Whatever Fuji's reaction to that was not shown on his face. Yet, when one looks at his ice blue orbs, they can see a burning anger waiting to be released. "Fine, I'll…..go." He said while grinding his teeth.
"Good. Your plane to Berlin will leave early morning tomorrow." The principal said and walked away. Reika also turned to leave but using the opposite corridor and Fuji was left alone. The drizzle outside started to get stronger like it was showing how he felt at the moment. Noticing the rain, Fuji turned to the window with his eyes showing anger, hatred and longing. "Why can't you just stay out of my life?"
(o)
Berlin, Germany, October 26, 2007, 3:30 pm
Ryoma opened the door of his apartment and got in with Tezuka following him. They just got back from the hospital. Ryoma immediately went to his room and crashed on his bed while Tezuka sat at the edge of it. "How did your check up go?" Tezuka asked after a period of silence.
"He said I was in good condition, so the surgery tomorrow will commence." Ryoma said while facing the ceiling.
"That's good." Tezuka said with a small smile. Ryoma sat up and reached for a small wooden box that was on top of his bedside table.
The box has intricately designed cherry blossom petals and intertwined vines carved on it. Ryoma opened the box and a soft relaxing music entered the room. Ryoma closed his eyes as he listened to it, willing all his worries to go to the back of his mind and be forgotten even for a short period of time.
The music's sound echoed in the silent room as its last note played its tune. Ryoma, with his eyes closed as if he was trying to imagine someone's face, said; "He composed that piece we just heard you know."
He opened his eyes and smiled at Tezuka. He then turned towards the small wooden music box and retrieved a picture. A picture of him and Fuji."
"He gave this music box to me on our first year anniversary. He said that at first, it was just an ordinary box with no engravings. But after he bought it, he had cherry blossoms carved on it since it was spring when he first confessed to me." Ryoma smiled a small smile at this. "Then he composed a piano piece for me and he asked the owner of the shop on which he bought the box to copy the piece and put it in the wooden box."
To Tezuka, Ryoma looked like he was about to cry even with the small smile on his face. He frowned at this. "Why?" Ryoma snapped from his trance and turned again to Tezuka. "What do you mean?" he asked.
Tezuka look surprise for a moment for he didn't realize that he said that out loud. But after he regained his composure, he decided to say his complete line of thoughts to Ryoma. He looked down at his lap while his nails dug deeper into his palms.
"Why do you still love him even after all the things he said to you before you went here in Germany? While you're here suffering with your illness he's out there enjoying life's luxuries." Tezuka's frown deepened. "While he's out there dating and probably screwing people, you're here remaining loyal to him! How-"
"Continuing to love him was my choice buchou." At this, Tezuka hastily turned his head towards Ryoma but he couldn't see the boy's face since he turned to look at the rain outside the window.
"Continuing to love him was my choice, having my illness treated here was my choice." He paused for a while. "Breaking our relationship was also my choice buchou."
Tezuka's surprise was very evident on his face. "You were the one to who broke it off?" Ryoma nodded.
"Then why-" Tezuka paused as realization hit him. "You broke it off because you didn't want him to know about your illness."
"Aa."
Confusion spread though Tezuka's mind. "Why?" Ryoma lay down on the bed again. "Because if he knows, he'll want to take care of me and because of that, he might not fulfill all his dreams and ambitions. I……. I don't want him to sacrifice all the possibilities in his life just for me." A smile returned to Ryoma's face. "I don't want to be a burden to him."
Tezuka embraced Ryoma and felt him stiffen under his touch. "Of course, you'd only be comfortable in Fuji's embrace." Tezuka thought bitterly. "No matter how much I love you, my love will always stay unrequited." His embrace on the boy tightened as he felt Ryoma relax under his touch. "It doesn't matter. As long as I can be by your side, or even by just watching you from afar, I'll be satisfied."
They remained like this for a few moments until Tezuka asked Ryoma a question that has been nagging him for a while. "You'll get better after the surgery right?
Ryoma remained quiet, debating on what to say to Tezuka. He lightly pushed on his chest, silently telling him to let go. Ryoma remained quiet for a few more minutes until he then started to tell Tezuka everything.
(o)
(1) Humboldt is a real university in Berlin.
(A/N Hope you liked the first chapter!!!! This story might be about two to three chapters long. Actually, I was supposed to make this a one-shot. But it was too long so I divided the story. Anyway, please review!!!)