Have you ever been so in love that you can't imagine your life without that person? Or if they suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth, you don't know what you'd do? I have. I still am. His name is Sam Winchester and I've loved him since he was just born. But let me introduce myself first. My name is Amelia James and I died in a car accident 51 years ago, and counting, that left my mother in a comatose state and my father an alcoholic.

How am I writing this if I'm dead, you may ask? I'm an angel, and I've been one ever since my death. I guess my strong faith during my short nineteen years wasn't in vain. I was in denial for my first few months in Heaven. I didn't want to believe that I was actually dead, that a single drunk driver could drastically alter a family's life so much. Then one day, as I sat in my room, an angel appeared. He introduced himself as Castiel and said that I must come with him. Of course, me being the strong-willed newcomer that I was, refused. However, when I was suddenly in another room in the blink of an eye, I realized that I had no choice anymore.

"Welcome, Amelia," A man in a formal suit and tie stood in front of me.
My brow wrinkled and I asked, "Who are you?"
The man smiled and took a step towards me, "I am the one you devoted your human life to."
My eyes widened and automatically I fell to my knees in front of my Lord, my hands twining together as I closed my eyes and savored His holy presence.
"Stand, child," He said and gave me his hand to help me from my kknees.
I reluctantly looked on him, "Lord, why did I have to die so young? My life wasn't lived to it's extent. I left my parents alone."
"Because I have a plan for you. You have a very special purpose."

I was baffled. Me? A special purpose? But I'm just a girl from Kentucky!
"You are to watch over a special child. His name is Sam Winchester and he must be protected."
"Anything for you, Lord," I pause, "How am I to protect him?"
"He is to be born May 2nd, 1983. You are to be sure he is steered on the right path. I will give you the power to appear in his dreams. Guide him. Do what you deem necessary."
"I will not fail you, Lord."

So that's how I came to be his guardian. The day he was born I rejoiced; he was the most beautiful child I had ever seen before. As he grew up I was his conscience. I appeared to him in a dream as a toddler, as a ten year old girl, as a teenager, as myself the day I died the day he turned 18. I became his best friend, his mentor, his sister, his mother. When he left home, I was there to comfort him. I smiled when he met Jess. Still I appeared in his dreams. I encouraged him to marry her, to go to law school, to be happy. The day that Dean showed up in his dorm room, I was confused. Sam was supposed to have a perfect life, not be reminded of his past… his father who hurt him so badly the day he left home. I went to Castiel, who had become my very best friend.

"Castiel, how can this be? Dean has returned in Sam's life and is jeopardizing his future. I don't know what to do," I said as we walked through one of Heaven's many gardens.
"You must let events play out as they will. You cannot control every aspect of his life."
"But, Castiel, when He told me to protect and watch over Sam, I made a promise to do everything I could to make sure that his life was as perfect as it could be."
"Just remember that if this is happening, it is according to His plan."
I sighed, "You're right, Cas. Like always," I smiled and hugged him, "Thank you."
"Any time Amelia," He hugs me back and kissed my forehead.

Through the years that followed, I watched Sam go through much suffering and trials that would test his faith, which he eventually lost. When he was killed, I wept, knowing that I had failed in my promise. When Dean sold his soul for him I knew that Sam's grief could not be any greater. Sam fought for Dean's life unfailingly and the day that Lilith came for Dean, he lost a part of himself that I feared he would never get back. The next month, I watched Sam ruin all that I had worked for. Finally, I decided that I had to take matters into my own hands. I went to my lord and begged him to let me go down to earth, told him that Sam needed my help. No matter how much I begged, however, He refused to let me. So I realized what I would have to do to save him. I would have to fall to earth.

I prepared myself over the next few days. This would be painful, but it was necessary. So finally I went to God, looked him in the eyes, and renounced him. Tears falling down my face, I watched his face turn to one of great sadness and then before I knew what was happening, I was falling. When I hit the ground, the pain was so excruciating that I couldn't breathe for a few seconds. Then I screamed. The agony lasted for hours and I screamed until my throat was raw and I couldn't anymore. When the pain finally subsided, I pushed myself to my feet. I looked down at myself and I was my nineteen year old self. And thank God, I had a plain white flowing dress on instead of nothing.

My head whipped up as I heard a car approaching, and Metallica's One blaring on the radio. I ran to the road and waved my arms until the car stopped. My breath was knocked out of me when I saw Sam and Dean Winchester get out of the car. The minute Sam saw me, his brow wrinkled and he walked toward me, "You… you're…"
"What, Sammy?" Dean asked him, watching me.
I smiled and silently thanked God for sending me to this spot.
"Hello, Sam," I walked towards him and brought my hand up to his face to cup his cheek in my hand.
"How are you here?" Sam asked me.
"It's a long story, which I'll tell you later. For now, can we go to a place where I can sleep? I've been on a long journey to get here and I'm tired."
"Yeah, come on," Sam said and guided me to the car, opening the door for me and closing it once I get in.
As soon as my head hits the seat as I lie down in the back, I fall asleep.