How the Hell Fire club celebrates the holidays.
As Pete decorated the halls of the castle that never was he noticed Maleficent was holding a box full of cards.
"Is that what I think it is?" Pete asked.
"Yes party invitations." Maleficent replied.
Hooray we're gonna have a Christmas party! Pete said with glee.
Fool who said anything about a Christmas party? Maleficent said with a hint of annoyance.
Then is it a Hanukah party? Pete asked still excited.
No guess again. Maleficent said smirking.
Kwanza then? Pete said still slightly hopeful.
Fool no one celebrates Kwanza. Laughed Maleficent.
"Then what are we celebrating?" Pete asked.
"We're having a Festivus party!!" Maleficent announced with joy.
"A what?!" Said Pete.
"I came across this glories holiday while watching reruns of Seinfeld."
"So who are we inviting?" Pete asked fearing the worst.
"Why the entire Hell fire club of course." Maleficent Said.
"Surely you don't want to invite the whole Hell fire club." Pete reasoned.
"Oh but I do you see the main event of Festivus is the feast of strength."
"What's that?" Pete inquired.
"It's an excuse to kick the crap out each other." Maleficent said with glee.
"Ok……Well what are the other festivities?"
"Well at dinner we gather all the guests and tell them all the ways they've disappointed us over the year." Said Maleficent.
"Oh sounds …like…..fun." Pete added as he sunk into depression.
"Oh believe me it is!" Maleficent said barley able to contain her excitement.
~~~~In the Underworld~~~~~
"Lord Hades you have a letter." Said Pain
"Shush Hear that Pain that's the sound of no one caring." Hades replied.
But ….this …ones ….from …Maleficent. Said Panic
Oh Really
~~~Planet Gunsmoke~~~~`
"Master we have received a letter from Maleficent." Stated Legato
"Well then read it to me dumb ass" Knives replied.
It says …. Dear members of the Hellfire club
~~~~~ The Black pearl~~~~
Barbossa was reading the letter to his crew
"Ye have been invited to a…..
~~~~Sound Village~~~
…. Festivus party." Kabuto Read to Orochimaru
~~~~~~Never land~~~~
Captain Hook reading to his crew
"I will expect you all to …..
~~~Amestris~~~
be there or suffer a cruel …..Pride read to Dante and the other Humunculi
~~~Halloween town~~~~
And unusual punishment." Read Oogie Boogie
~~~~ The Meiji empire~~~~
Shishio reading to the ten swords.
"Please arrive on the 23rd
~~~~~ Atlantica~~~~~~~
Ursula reading to Flotsam and Jetsam
With lots of food!"
~~~~~Agrabah~~~~
Jafar reading
Make sure you bring….
~~~~~The Feudal era~~~
….all of your henchmen." Finished Naraku reading out loud to his incarnations.
"Oh fuck." exclaimed Kagura.
~~~Dragon Universe~~~
"What the Hell is Festivus?!" Exclaimed Frieza
On the 23rd of December Pete found the Festivus poll in Larxerene's old room I leave it to your imagination how she used it.
Announcing Lord Hades of the underworld
"Geez you'd think it'd be easy finding a castle that never was." Hades stated upon his entrance.
"It's party time bitches" Sensui said in his Kazuya personality wearing a tux.
Announcing Sensui and his seven personalities.
Announcing Knives Million and the gung-ho guns.
"Maleficent I brought doughnuts and henchmen!" Shouted Knives with joy.
"May I take your coat Mr. Legato? Pete asked wondering how he ended up as the coat man.
"Pete stop hitting yourself that's really got to hurt." Legato said while Knives and the other gung-ho guns laughed.
"Ouch I hate it when he uses his powers like that." Pete whined.
Announcing Makoto Shishio and the ten swords.
"Pete my main man" Say's Shishio
"Mr. Pete we brought chocolates." Said Soujiro smiling
Announcing Captain Barbossa and Captain Hook.
The two pirates were bickering amongst themselves about who was the better pirate.
Announcing Orochimaru and Kabuto of the sound village.
Orochimaru approach's the two pirates' and says.
"Gentlemen I think you are both fine pirates."
Captain Hook and Barbossa calmed down a bit until Orochimaru added.
"But ninja's are the best."
The two pirates started chasing Orochimaru as stuck out his long snake like and tongue laughing all the way.
Announcing Dante and the Homunculi.
Announcing Jafar.
Announcing Oogie Boogie of Halloween town.
Oogie entered the party sporting a disco jacket and shades.
"Tonight we're gonna boogie like its 1999." Oogie said with a smile.
"Actually my dear Oogie Boogie it's a dinner party." Corrected Maleficent.
"Oh well I did bring some of my special snake and spider stew." He replied.
Moans of disgust were heard from the other guests except for Gluttony who was happy to eat anything.
Announcing Ursula and her … eel's?
"Flotsam, Jetsam what's wrong." Asked Ursula to her now dehydrated pets.
"Need water." They pleaded.
"Ursula what's my nephew King Triton up to these days." Hades asked.
"Frankly my dear Hades I don't give a damn." She replied
Announcing Naraku and his incarnations.
Announcing Frieza and the Ginyu Force.
"So Hades why don't you like Christmas" Asked Pete
"Well I'm a pagan god don't you think it would just be a little bit strange for me to celebrate Christmas." Hades Replied.
At dinner Maleficent sat at the front of the table with Jafar and the Disney villains to her right and Orochimaru and the anime villains to her left. She began her Festivus speech
"Now the Festivus tradition begins with the announcing of grievances. First off I hate when you all fail me! Now it's time for me to complain about each of you individually."
Two hours later.
"Now who wants to complain next?" Maleficent asked.
I have a complaint I HATE IT WHEN YOU GUY'S TAINT THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT
WITH YOUR LITTLE FESTIVAL OF COMPLAINTS I'M OFF TO KING MICKEY'S HOUSE FOR A REAL CHRISTMAS PARTY THAT NONE OF YOU WERE INVITATED TO …except Soujiro who was also invited.
"Yeah" say's Soujiro with glee.
MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!! Pete said as he and Soujiro took their leave.
"Well there has to be one at every party." Reasoned Orochimaru.
"Any way Jafar I hate it you hang out with Maleficent more than me." Said Orochimaru in a childish manner.
"Well I hate when Maleficent hangs out with lord Orochimaru. He's mine." say's Kabuto
"Do I sense Envy?" Shishio whispered to Frieza.
"Yes I'm rite here." Envy Replied
"Now it's time for the feast of strength." Maleficent announced turning into a dragon.
"Until one of you pins me down this Festivus isn't over!!"
"Wait who said we wanted this to end?" Hades responded.
"Yes I like this Festival of complaints" Added Naraku.
"Well then I guess we can just keep complaining." Maleficent said returning to her regular form.
Huzzah! All the guests cheered and they kept complaining until the early morning.
A/N: Festivus is a Holiday invented by George's father from Seinfeld.
I put these Anime villains in here because in my other fic Kingdom Hearts another Journey Maleficent enlists the help of anime villains. In the original Greek myth's King Triton is the son of Poseidon therefore is Hades nephew. Please be kind when reviewing.
MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS