This is just a one shot to keep you all satisfied while I write Lead The Way. I'm kind of in a fog with that story, so I'm supes sorry for the hold up. Hopefully I'll have the next few chapters ready in advance for you guys, just bare with me for a few more days :) On a brighter note, My writers block hasn't stopped me from writing little smutlets like this for you all! Dirty people. Shaking my head. ;) So here's this for you..
Enjoy.
"If you could hear what I'm thinking you'd be in tears."
Her words were almost a whisper, voice thick with emotion. You could tell by the way she looked at the ceiling of her apartment that she was detached as she spoke. Something like that isn't unusual for Olivia. Detached is good, she always told herself. Detached keeps you from getting hurt, or seeming vulnerable.
Being vulnerable isn't such a bad thing. That's also what she told herself. It doesn't mean she believed it, but somehow, hearing the words out loud in the silent apartment made them... less untrue.
But she could not be vulnerable right now. She was not alone.
"What makes you think that?" His deep voice always sent shivers down her spine. The buttery
texture that poured from his lips was a song of pleasure.
"Because half the time it brings me to tears." Her voice quakes and she immediately regrets saying it. She stands up and walks past him, avoiding his piercing blue gaze.
Fucking blue eyes.
She grabs the only bottle of liquor she has and walks back to her couch, his gaze unwavering.
"No glass?" Fuck the drinking glass, it's a straight bottle kinda night.
"No. Did you want some? I could get you a glass." She tilts the bottle towards him, her dry words begging to be moistened with the fiery Amber liquid.
"Nah. Thanks though," He smiles a bit and she watches him watch her. She tilts the bottle towards her lips and takes a slow sip.
The burn of the tequila is a new feeling, a welcomed feeling.
"So what are you thinking, Olivia?"
"Are you my therapist now, Elliot?"
"You brought it up, it's only fair for you to explain it to me. What harm would come of you being open with me?" He leans back and crosses his arms over his broad chest.
Too much. I don't want those demons tonight. I don't want them ever.
She doesn't want him to leave though. She's called him over for a reason, to talk. If she doesn't do that he might leave.
She decides to go with something she knows he can understand.
"This fucking job... I-it.. Sometimes it doesn't feel worth it, y'know? Seeing the things we do, not
knowing 100% of we will close a case and help the victim get a new start. It's.. I don't know. I do this job to help women like my mother. And to help children. But it fucks you up. This job fucks you up, Elliot. No matter how hard we try, no matter how many rapists and pedo's and domestic abusers we put away, there's always three more around the corner. It doesn't end."
She didn't mean to put that much out there, once she started she couldn't stop. Elliot was closer now, his usually bright eyes now a stormy sea color. Cloudy with sympathy and understanding. She felt warm liquid trickle down her cheek, and she felt stupid for crying in front of him.
"We do it because no matter how many more sick fucks are out there, there's always a victim to help, to nurture."
She feels the relaxing effect of the tequila set in, and she puts the bottle down on the coffee table. "I know this will sound selfish, but I just can't help but think about what I sacrifice for this job. I haven't had a steady romantic relationship in years, I don't have kids, I don't even have time for a full night's sleep. This... this isn't living, El.. I'm helping other people get their lives back, but at the cost of mine?"
She's full in on crying now. A steady stream of salty tears are staining her cheeks, and that vulnerability is here. Her demons are knocking on the front door, but in this moment, with Elliot sitting right here, she doesn't mind it.
"Then maybe you should do something about it. You can help victims in other ways. God knows I don't want anyone else as a partner, but, Dammit Olivia.." He shakes his head and stands up.
"Your happiness is just as important as the victim's."
That was something she's never heard before. By anyone. "What?"
Elliot stops pacing and looks at her, his eyes wide and mouth agape. "Do you not know that, Liv? You deserve to be happy, Just like me, Just like victims, Just like anyone else. But to me.. You of all people should be happy."
"Elliot.." She stands up and walks to him slowly. She's never seen this much emotion coming from him. Mixed with hers, it makes the air in the room thick.
Elliot looks at her, "Whatever you decide to do, Olivia.. Whether you stay at SVU or not.. I am with you. I support you."
She doesn't think then. All of his words are coming at her like a tornado. Flying around her head, Weaving in and out of her brain.
She steps into his space, pressing her palms to his chest. "Nobody had ever said something like that to me."
"You need to believe it, Liv. You need to know that you are allowed to be happy, that-"
Her lips cut him off, pressing firmly to his. She slides one hand up his chest and around his neck, Pulling him closer to her. She breathes in deeply through her nose, needing the air for her next action.
She opens her mouth against his shocked one, running her tongue against his slightly parted lips.
She tilts her head, prying his lips open wider to dip her tongue into mouth. As soon as their
tongues make contact, he gives up being a passive participant.
He's kissing her back now. She wants to cry when she feels his hand rest on her lower back. She wants to moan when she feels that hand run down and cup her plump ass, bringing her impossibly closer.
They pull away for a second, she is trying to catch her breath as he nips and licks at her jawline.
She lets out a breathy moan, "you scared me for a second," she pauses to whimper when she feels his other hand rest on the other cheek of her denim covered behind, giving it a firm squeeze. "I thought you were going to push me away."
He stops his ministrations and looks her in the eyes, "I'd never do that to you."
"Elliot."
He begins walking the both of them back to the couch. "Yeah?"
"I want you to.. I want you to take me to bed."
It was a bold move on her part. She wasn't even sure he wanted her like that, after what she'd told him, that kiss was as far she expected him to let it get.
"I want nothing more."
Her eyes widen and she smiles. Biting her lip, she moves backwards towards her bedroom.
"Then let's go."
"Unnhh.. Oh, yes. Don't stop," She's breathing heavily, one hand holding onto the headboard of her bed, the other in between her legs.
As soon as they crossed the room to her bed, everything sped up. Clothes went flying, lips fighting for dominance, he'd made her cum hard with his fingers and mouth, but nothing prepared them for the excruciating pleasure that being inside of her so deeply, brought them.
He's underneath her, both of his hands on her taut hips, pushing and pulling her over him.
He watches her perfect breasts bounce lightly, then lowers his heated gaze to her hand working her clit as she grinds into him.
He's so deep inside of her, it's breathtaking. He grunts when he feels her walls flutter around his cock, telling him that she's so close.
"yes.. yes.. Oh, yes!" She's moving faster now, her head thrown back. She can't stop the tear that slips from her eye as the need to climax builds. He's thick, and he fills ever space inside of her. And then some.
"Elliot.. Touch me please." She's whimpering and begging, and he's never seen anything sexier. She takes his hand with hers, the one that was previously working her clit, and places his in between her legs, begging him to take over.
He does happily, bucking his hips up and rubbing her sensitized bundle of nerves vigorously.
She's holding onto the headboard with both hands now, her head hanging between her shoulders. "Harder, baby," she pants, feeling the beginning of her climax swiftly approaching.
"Jesus, Liv," he grunts, moving his hips and fingers faster, slightly rougher.
She sits up straight when her orgasm hits, she cups her breasts in her hands and her back arches. She tilts her head back and cries out into her dimly lit bedroom.
"Oh, fuck! yes!" Her sailor mouth doesn't go unnoticed by Elliot, He smiles briefly, before succumbing to feeling of her tight walls clamping around him, milking every drop of cum he has.
After, they lay in each other's arms. Legs and bodies tangled to create one. He's still inside of her, his semi-soft member filling her.
"I've never felt like that."
He smiles at her honesty, "glad to know I did my job well."
She laughs, a red tint staining her flushed cheeks. "You did your job very well.. but that's not what I was talking about."
"I know. I've never felt like that either."
"What does this mean for us?"
He brushes her hair back and places a small kiss onto her lips. "I don't know, Liv. But just know, Whatever you want to happen with us, or the job, or anything you have to face, I will always be here. Right beside you."
"I want you to be here.. with me.. I mean like this, like how we are right now. I don't know what I am going to do regarding the job, but I have never been surer about wanting to be with you."
"I feel the same way."
She smiles and leans in, her lips hovering over his. Her breath mixes with his, and she can't help but lean in and nip his bottom lip. "I," kiss, "Love," Kiss, "You."
She made sure to hide her nervousness as she said it, hoping like hell she didn't make a fool of herself.
When he grinned, not answering her, she started to panic. "I mean.. I have been feeling things for you for a long time now, and I don't see myself with anyone else and-"
He kisses her hard, effectively shutting her up. "I love you too, Liv."