Cigars Are Bad!
(A Gravitation fan fiction. Told by Eiri Yuki.)
One and Only Chapter
You know, I was always told that cigars were bad. As a little boy I could be anywhere doing anything and someone or something would say:
"EIRI! CIGARS ARE BAD!"
Walking down the street.
"EIRI! CIGARS ARE BAD!" The homeless man.
In the park."EIRI! CIGARS ARE BAD!" The new born baby.
(Born five minutes before. FIVE MINUTES. How the woman and her child were even out bopping around like she hadn't just given birth I don't know.)
In my bedroom opening the window.
"EIRI! CIGARS ARE BAD!" The birds.
Using the bathroom.
"EIRI! CIGARS ARE BAD!" The-actually never mind. (You don't want to know.)
Reading the newspaper.
"EIRI! CIGARS ARE BAD!" The title of the article.
At funerals.
"EIRI! CIGARS ARE BAD!" The dead man in the coffin.
The sewer(don't ask why I was there).
"EIRI! CIGARS ARE BAD!" Pennywise the clown.
Watching TV.
"EIRI! CIGARS ARE BAD!" Michael Jackson.
Playing a game.
"EIRI! CIGARS ARE BAD!" Sonic. And Mario too.
Dreaming.
"EIRI! CIGARS ARE BAD!" Drew Barrymore.
(So what if I had dreams about Charlie's Angels? Like you haven't.)
Being born.
"EIRI! CIGARS ARE BAD!" My mom.
Hallucinating.
"EIRI! CIGARS ARE BAD!" Elvis Presley.
All of these and more are the reasons why I don't smoke cigars. I smoke cigarettes.