Way Too Far
Summary: I don't know where I'm going. But I know where I've gone: TOO FAR. GaaLee or LeeGaa Re-up.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor do I own the Alice Nine, whose music inspired this in some weird, twisted way.
A/N: Re-up! It's because I got the idea to start a separate account for yaoi and the like. Most of the people alerted to me didn't like that type of thing. So I'm editing it and posting it again.
--
I don't know where I'm going.
Okay, that's a lie. Deep down, at the very back of my mind, I know exactly where I'm going. A certain face pops up before my mind's eye.
I mentally force Rock Lee's image down and keep walking.
A part of my mind assaults me with criticisms. No, I'm not schizophrenic, if that's what you're thinking. I'm perfectly sane…now. Everybody has that voice, right? No, it couldn't be a conscious. I should definitely hope I have a better one than that, anyway. No matter how may people I've hurt…
It's your fault…
"Shut up!"
No, I'm not talking to myself. I'm yelling at the voice. The one that imprints his face right before my eyes when I don't want to think about him. The one that talks to me dirtier than any Jinchuuriki haters ever did. That's the one I was talking about earlier.
He left you, it hisses. He left you because he was too good for you. You're not pretty nr smart, and you have a horrible personality. You have no real talent. How could you ever think that there was anyone out there for you?
There's no-one, Gaara.
Shut up! That has nothing to do with this! I pick up the pace, as if I can actually run from it. I can't, of course. It's always right there, at the back of my mind. It's the part that comes from hating myself. Doesn't it? I always thought it was only me, but perhaps everyone has that sort of thing. Maybe I'm not crazy.
Maybe it's not too late for me.
Well, to be perfectly honest, it would be nice to be crazy. At least that way, I'd have some excuse. Because this whole thing is my fault. If I hadn't…
He promised he'd never leave, didn't he? LEE did it on purpose…
No! Lee… He would never do that sort of thing on purpose! It's my fault! And that's how the voice works. It tells you the truth, then it tells you an outright lie, then you realize which is which and wind up hating yourself.
I had to make amends. See, as cruel as the voice is, it often means well...to a degree. It got me into this mess in the first place, so maybe when Lee forgives me…
Even now, I know that can't ever happen.
I'm dying. I know it.
But at least I'm here.
I collapse on the cold ground at Lee's feet, and then pull myself forward some more.
Lee is nothing more than the memory of another person I've slain.
They told me it's not my fault; I was under a genjutsu. But the voice disagrees with them.
And the voice is always right.
"Lee, I'm sorry."
He won't answer. He never does. I'm tired of coming back here. It only makes the pain of losing him worse.
Again, I vow never to return to his grave.
I look at the moon and wonder why it has to be this way. Why it's all broken promises for me. Lee said he would never leave. I said I would never return.
And I'm dying. At last, I'm losing the gift I stole from Lee. I'm losing a life. And it's finally going to be mine to lose.
But I can't go until he accepts.
Yet, no matter how much I apologize, he won't forgive me... I've gone too far this time. Not only over his lines of good and evil, love and hate. Heck, not even just over MY lines.
I can almost feel my sanity straining at the ropes. Is that really possible? Because I keep telling you this in hopes I'll keep it inside…
I guess I only get one wish, then, instead of the clichéd three. I'm finally losing it. Although, I would have preferred Lee's forgiveness. And, above that, his life.
Temari and Kankuro appear at the edge of my vision. Well, they're just in time to hear my last words.
Somehow, I don't feel like celebrating that trivial fact.
"I love you, Lee. I'm sorry I went too far… Way…too…f-far…"
With a triumphant smirk, I fall forward.
--
A/N: I wanted to capture the emotions in this. Review and let me know what I did wrong! XD