So I had this random thought and decided to write a oneshot for it. This is my first attempt at a solely humorous fic. Let me know if it made you giggle!
Also, there is a spoiler for the current season. You can skip the second to last paragraph to avoid it if need be.
I don't own White Collar, I make no profit from this, purely done for entertainment. :)
Peter and Neal walked side by side back to the office with their coffees. It was a Monday morning in the late summer and thankfully it wasn't as hot out as it had been in the last few weeks.
"So how did Satchmo's vet appointment go?" asked Neal. He remembered Peter mentioning on Friday that the next morning he and El were going to be taking their dog to the vet.
"Same old, same old. Of course he brought up Satchmo's arthritis. We already knew about that though," replied Peter.
"Starting to get up there, isn't he?"
"Yep, he's almost nine years old now. Seems the older he gets, the more he hates riding in the car."
Neal smirked, "He's not a car dog?"
"Never has been. Elizabeth has to sit in the backseat with him to calm him down whenever we take him to the vet. Thankfully that's not very often. Actually the vet mentioned something that made me think of you."
"Of me? Now you've got me worried, Peter." The pair had reached their building.
"Yeah, they were trying to get us to put a tracker on him. You know... those things that they put under a dog's skin and they scan lost dogs to see where they came from. I think those are better for dogs that go out in people's yards, in the suburbs and rural areas and such. I don't think Satchmo needs one. But Elizabeth is interested because she doesn't want him to run away. Anyway, I told the vet we'd think about it."
Neal held the door open for Peter, "So where do I fit into this?"
"I was thinking that something like that would be a good alternative to your anklet."
"What?" Neal stopped short in the middle of the lobby. "You're not serious, right?"
"Why not? Whenever you're undercover we have to take your anklet off so you don't blow your cover. If it was under your skin it wouldn't be an issue." Reasoned Peter.
"No, I'm never going to consent to being cut open for a tracking device to be put INSIDE MY BODY!"
"Calm down, Neal, it was just an idea. Who knows if the technology even exists for what we'd need."
"Seriously, drop it Peter! How would you feel if I wanted to stick a tracker in you?" Neal asked as they entered the elevator.
"That's beside the point. I'm a federal agent, you're a con man. What are you so afraid of anyway?"
"I'm not afraid. It just sounds so wrong. The thought of it doesn't bother you?" Neal asked, perplexed.
"Well, now that you made me think about it, maybe it is a little weird. But there are thousands of pets out there who've had these implanted." The elevator doors opened and they arrived on their floor.
"I'm not a dog, Peter!" Neal almost yelled. The glass doors to the white collar division were wide open as a woman with a mail cart passed through them. Peter noticed as some of the agents turned heads in their direction at Neal's outburst.
"We missed out on a good opportunity for it though. If only I'd had one of those trackers with me when Collins shot you! You already had a hole in you; we could have just stuck it in there before they stitched you up!"
Neal walked away from Peter, over to his desk. He shook his head and mumbled, "Unbelievable."
I hope I made at least one person chuckle. That was my goal!
Please review! I always respond to any feedback I get. :)