Private Eyes
by Star Wars nut
Authoress Note: Yes, I know I should probably be working on "The Hylian League" or "Organization XIII Part II" right now, but I saw this old movie and it seemed to fit some of the KH characters perfectly. And that's how this fic was born. So, here it is. For the record, this is a murder mystery. There will be dead bodies. So if you're so squeamish you can't even bear to read about dead people (I don't know anyone that squeamish, although I'm sure that there's someone that squeamish in the world) , hit that button on your screen that says "back." Now.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts 2 or any characters or locations from said game. I also do not own the hilarious old movie "The Private Eyes" which my mom got off netflix.
Chapter 1
One Dark Stormy Night
Lord DiZ Morley and his wife, Lady Yuffie, were preparing to go out to dinner. They climbed into their car and were about to leave when...
"I forgot my smokes," said Lord DiZ. His wife scowled at him and said, "It's bad enough that you smoke those things, but can you at least call them what they actually are? Honestly, you can't do anything right." DiZ climbed out of the car and, about to walk back to their house, said, "I'll just go inside and get my sm... cigars. I'll be right back." And with that, he walked toward the house.
As Lady Yuffie was waiting for her husband to return, a cloaked figure snuck into the car and pulled a handkerchief out of its pocket. It wrapped the handkerchief around her throat and kept it there until the Lady collapsed.
Lord DiZ came back to the car, having retrieved his cigars, and sat down in the driver's seat only to be knocked unconscious by the cloaked figure, who then weighed down the gas pedal and jumped out of the car, leaving it to crash into a nearby lake.
Two Weeks Later...
"Are you sure we're going the right way?" Inspector Roxas asked his partner, Doctor Sora. Sora checked the letter he was holding, "Yup! The letter says we're on the right road!"
"Well, does that letter say where we can find a gas station?" asked Roxas. Suddenly, a shot rang out!
"What was that?!" Roxas shouted. Sora held up a gun with a clock attached to it, "It's my new invention, a timegun. It goes off every hour, on the hour."
"Why would you need to shoot somebody every hour?" Roxas asked irritably, then added, as he turned a corner, "Oh good, here's a gas station."
"And look!" said Sora pointing, "That must be the mansion on top of that hill!" Sure enough, there was a mansion on top of the hill Sora was pointing at.
Roxas got out of the car, and a gas station attendant who had been sitting on the steps of the building by the pump put down the guitar-like instrument he was playing and hurried over to him.
"You're Inspector Roxas and Doctor Sora!" the man said in awe, holding up a newspaper, "I've read about you! You're the two idiots here to inspect the Morley case. My name is Demyx. Can I have your autograph?" Roxas, looking a little confused, said, "Sure. Can you fill my car up with gas?"
"No problem," said Demyx, then hollered, "Axel! Come over here and fill this car up with gas while I find some paper!" Immediately a man with odd tattoos on his face and gravity-defying red hair came around from behind the building and started filling the car up with gas.
While Demyx had gone inside to get some paper, Roxas asked Axel, "So, is that building on that hill the Morley mansion?" When Axel didn't respond, Roxas pointed in front of his face at the mansion and asked, louder, "Is that the Morley Mansion?" After a bit of thinking, Roxas concluded, "He must be blind and deaf. Probably needs to read my lips." Roxas picked up Axel's hand, touched it to his face, and asked again, "Is the building on the hill the Morley Mansion?" What Roxas didn't realize was that he was smearing gasoline from Axel's hand onto his face. Sora realized this and started to chuckle.
"What's so funny?" Roxas asked, dropping Axel's hand, just as Demyx came back out, waving around a pencil and two pieces of paper. After getting autographs from both Sora and Roxas, Demyx stood next to Axel and watched as the detectives drove away.
"What a bunch of morons," said Axel.
"You said it." agreed Demyx, before going back to his sitar.
End of Chapter 1
Authoress Note: Wow, short chapter. Well, it is really more of an intro than an actual chapter, but it's still kinda short. Oh well, chapter 2 will be up soon. Until then, please review!
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