A/N: I had to write this. I REALLY HAD TO WRITE THIS. This has been going on my mind since I finished the second chapter of Stolen Property. This story is well, about Gaara's struggle with the word love and yes, this is somewhat (?) or can be totally perverted. Humor/Romance for the genre and for the PAIRING! Surprise surprise! YOU HAVE TO GUESS! :) I promise I'll try to make this as humorous as possible so don't flame me okay? Hope you'll like this.

SUMMARY: Having a pervert as a brother, Gaara is having the "birds and bees" talk with Kankuro. So, when Gaara stumbles upon a lone woman bathing on a private hot spring, Kankuro's teaching about the wonders of a woman's body comes gushing in his thoughts and with that, he curses himself because he, the kazekage, can't help but stare. Rated M for language.

A Kazekage's Struggle With A Little Thing Called Love

Chapter 1: Kankuro and His Teachings

The young kazekage sighed as he looked up at the paper works that were stacked rather neatly on his desk. While a kazekage's job was to protect the village, he was definitely not ready to face the most dreaded work – paper works. He would rather guard the whole village 24/7 rather than sit on his desk and do paper works. It was really tiring just to sit around, writing, reading and stamping documents.

I'll get Kankuro to help me. He silently thought. He knew that his older brother couldn't defy him if he ordered him to help him with his work. At this time, Temari was in Konoha for the monthly meeting for the ambassadors of each village so he was stuck with Kankuro at the moment. It's not that he was complaining but being with Kankuro alone, he sure was slowly tainting his pure mind. It's not that he wasn't pure anymore given all the killings that he had done in the past.

By pure, meaning the stuffs that he wasn't suppose to know with women.

Damn Kankuro for giving him the talk for birds and bees for the recent nights since Temari's absence. And that was about four nights. Four nights of talking about the wonders of a woman body, how to pleasure them, how to do foreplay, how to impregnate women complete with procedures. And thanks to that, he couldn't concentrate on his work. It kept on bothering him on why a woman had to get pregnant when a man put his penis inside her vagina. And Kankuro, being the good big brother as he dubbed himself to be, used his puppets as an example to execute the actions during the sexual intercourse.

I wish that Temari were here to stop Kankuro from tainting my mind. He sneered silently.

And Kankuro said that later tonight, he would teach him the different kinds of kisses since he couldn't use his puppets to execute the correct action especially getting the right angles for the kiss. Kankuro said that he needed time to research and to find a perfect learning materials for him.

Ah, I still have to deal with Kankuro's teaching. I wonder when it will end.

Gaara didn't know that in order to kiss, you have to take it slowly, pull out your tongue, savor the taste and get the right angle. Wasn't it like a geometrical thing when concerning angles? Did he need to solve mathematical problems in order to get the right angle? Or was it like tasting food? Like sweets? Or savory dishes since Kankuro said that he had to savor the taste? Gaara shrugged his shoulders. Kissing was such a complicated thing. And he was right that he didn't find the time to study them early on in his life since his mind was so full of morbid and murderous intent.

At first, he didn't want all of it even if it was another learning. Gaara liked to learn. But he doubted since it was Kankuro teaching. His brother never took anything seriously not unless he was creating new puppets. Nonetheless, after days of pursuing him inconspicuously; clearly hiding it from their elder sister, Gaara decided to give it a shot because of one thing that Kankuro had said. And that was because of the word that was written on his forehead – the kanji of the word love. Kankuro said that if had learned how to pleasure women, then he would eventually find and experience new love.

Yes. Love.

The moment that word surfaced from their conversation, he paused and gave it a thought. It wasn't as bad as it seemed since whether he admitted it or not; he liked being loved by his siblings and his friends. Getting love from more women wasn't as bad as it is since he had only a few female that he could actually call as his friends.

And Kankuro also justified that he felt that this was the right time to teach him things and since their father wasn't around to teach him the wonders of the woman body and how to multiply using his seeds of production to a lucky woman. Being the handsome kazekage that he was, he had gained quite a number of fangirls sending him stuffs and giving him looks which he found really weird. And being the kazekage, Kankuro said that he had to produce an heir even if he was only seventeen years old. Ever since the Fourth Shinobi War, the Suna council had kept on pestering him about getting an heir because they fear that their kazekage would be killed in action and it would be safe to at least have an heir to continue with the legacy.

Having a pervert brother wasn't a good thing. While it was true that Kankuro somewhat looked respectable whenever he was free from that headwear that seemed like cat ears and from the ridiculous make-up, his perverted mind was always present. He found joys with the girls he randomly picked but they mostly turned him down given how suspicious looking he was with that vacuous make-up. Temari, on the other hand, was really protective of him and always reprimand Kankuro for teaching her baby brother crude things.

Sometimes, having elder siblings that always clashed with each other could only make Gaara sigh in exasperation.

However, no matter what, if one of them wasn't present, he felt incomplete. Like his heart had a whole and it twitched so often that it had become painful. He couldn't explain the feeling.

Letting out an audible sigh, the redhead kazekage decided to relax a bit. He stretched out and stood up from his seat. He went towards the circular window and decided to use his third eye to check around his village. True that today was an exceptionally quiet day; it wouldn't do any harm if he had to do a run through the sand village. But before that, he did the body flicker technique to transport him on the top of the kazekage tower. Then without and further ado, he did the hand seals for the jutsu then released it; letting it wander around the town.

When his third eye was wandering aimlessly, he comfortably stood at the top of the tower that they were residing, savoring the gentle wind that was playing with his hair while his left hand was holding his closed left eye. It was less than an hour of aimlessly sightseeing; his third eye was never stopping even once not until his sight caught a pale bare back of a lone woman bathing on a private hot spring.

Once again, Kankuro's teaching gushed through his thoughts.

Damn.

A/N: Yup, I don't know what I did. This story came on a whim. XD Please review. Thank you.