So seeing the preview for Saturday with Ethan's anger etc got me thinking. We talk about how Cal reacts to stress in his life - running away etc, but have you noticed that Ethan tends to push everyone away, which is what I guess will happen over the next couple of episodes. In his grief and fear he'll push away everyone that he loves and who love him - so sad.

I wanted to mend the fences before we see them broken in the show, so here it is - hope you like it.

As usual I don't own anyone that you recognise.

Mending Fences

Cal brought the car gently to a halt on arrival at their destination. He turned off the engine and just spent a couple of minutes basking in the heat of the sun pouring through the window, listening to the sounds of the beach all around him.

It had been a painfully quiet journey, even with his brother in the car.

Cal stole a glance over at the younger man, noticing straight away that the tense posture had not relaxed at all as he clutched the box containing their mothers ashes.

Ethan's face was set - devoid of all emotion, apart from the overiding emotion that he had experienced every day since she had passed away a few weeks previously...anger. The younger doctor could feel the rage burning through him as if he had red hot lava flowing through his veins.

"We're here," Cal informed him, almost in a whisper, "Ethan..." he nudged, just to get any sort of reaction from his brother.

Ethan jumped at the touch, "What? Ah we're here," he repeated, as he began to unfasten his seat belt.

Cal sighed sadly, his eyes stinging. In the last few weeks he had not only lost his mum, but he seemed to be losing his brother too.

Since their mother's death and Ethan's diagnosis, the two brothers had barely spoken, and it was eating Cal alive.

All he wanted to do, needed to do was support his little brother, but Ethan just pushed him away, as he had done everyone in the ED. He had finally told everyone a few days before Emilie's funeral and although their friends were vocal in their support for him, Ethan had blanked it all out, tried to carry on as if nothing was wrong. The icing on the cake for Cal was when he heard Ethan talking to Lily one day and Ethan had said that he had wished it had been Cal who had tested positive...that he hadn't done anything wrong to warrant such a death sentence.

Although Cal had known that Ethan was angry at what was happening to him that had made him say such a thing, Cal had felt as if his little brother had just stabbed him in the heart. Unfortunately, he had reacted in the way that he always reacted to such situations and had got himself rolling drunk - only just making the funeral service in time, thus causing a deeper rift with the brother that he so longed to support.

He was startled out of his musings by the car door slamming, alerting him to the fact that Ethan had got out of the car. Cal was about to follow him but he paused as he watched the younger man take the few steps that would lead him to the rail by the beach. The older sibling saw Ethan lift his face towards the sun, his eyes closed, just soaking up the suns rays - a gentle breeze dancing through his tousled hair. Cal wrenched his gaze away, unable to watch him any longer - it was just to painful.

Ethan, for his part, was fully aware of the myriad of emotions his brother was currently experiencing because it was exactly how he was feeling. He actually wondered if he would ever feel 'normal' again. Aware that his brother hadn't followed him out of the car, he took the opportunity to talk to his mother.

"Mum, I don't know what to do. I'm angry, I'm scared - people want to help but I push them away. Cal is trying so hard to support me but I push him away too - I don't want it! He tries to make it look like it doesn't hurt him, but it does...and...and I just don't know what to do - Mum!"

He closed his eyes as a torrent of thoughts, feelings and emotions threatened to engulf him. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a warm, gently breeze enveloped him and he immediately began to feel more calm - calmer than he had felt in a long time. He genuinelly smiled for the first time since Emilie passed away - now he felt ready to put her to rest.

He turned and walked the few feet back to the car. He opened the door and picked up the small box , looking over at his brother, who was busily trying to cover the tears that had been steadily falling, "You ready?" he asked.

Cal wiped his eyes once more - nodded and climbed out of his side of the car.

I'm going to leave this as a short first chapter. There will be one more chapter with the boys talking and trying to sort things out. I've got good ideas in my head (or at least I think I do) so I hope I can do it justice on paper.

Til next time...