Title: Stark Conversations
Author: mystic_blue17
Summary: Clarke and Octavia talk about what is really bothering her after she saves Clarke from Mount Weather. (written after 113 We are Grounders Part 2)
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or plots nor do I plan on receiving any profit from writing about them.
A/N: Sorry it took me so long. I am working on the sequel to Through Time but this plot bunny has been bugging me for a while so here we are.
Clarke was only a little surprised when Octavia shows up to rescue them. She knew how hard headed the Blakes are (she feels the guilt weigh down on her - the Blakes were) and that they would do whatever it took to be together.
But there was no Bellamy for Octavia when she came to Mount Weather. Many familiar and grateful delinquents flooded her once they had successfully made their big escape. None of them were the one face Octavia was looking for.
Clarke isn't ready to be the one who tells Octavia that Bellamy doesn't make it. In her head, she knows she should. She was the one that closed the door. But she can't say the words. Instead she sees Octavia talking to Jasper. She sees Octavia collapse to the ground, tears streaming down her face. She sees Jasper wrap his arms around her in comfort, rocking her back and forth.
Clarke killed her brother. There is nothing else she can say. There is no way to make up for what she did.
Clarke maintains her distance. She expresses her gratitude to Lincoln. She knows that Octavia couldn't have done it without him. And given the less than stellar history she was amazed that he would have come to help. But again the bond between Bellamy and Octavia was formidable, more than enough to counter whatever Lincoln's feelings were towards the 100.
Rebuilding the shelter is a slow process. It took a long time of debate within the remainder of the 100 to decide if they should stay by the dropship or leave and find a new place to settle. The echo of a barely won battle sounded through the camp. But ultimately it was home. This is where they fell from the sky. This is where they would be.
Eventually Clarke has to talk to Octavia. She felt it like an itch under her skin. Always there just beneath the surface, clawing to break free. She found her one night out alone staring at the graves that they had dug in the earth.
"Octavia." Clarke said "You shouldn't be out here alone." Her throat feels dry. Memories of past encounters with a different Blake threatening to take over.
Octavia shook her head, resolutely as she stared harder into the markers.
Clarke walked closer to her. She could see a satin almost shiny ribbon clenched in Octavia's right hand. Her left dug into the ground below.
"Octavia come on." Clarke crouches down to touches her hand to Octavia's left. Octavia's gaze is still off in the distance. Clarke flinches as she touches Octavia's skin. It is ice cold. She must have been out for a long time to be that cold. She slowly eases the dirt from the girl's fist.
"It's not right." Octavia says quickly. Clarke wouldn't have heard her if she wasn't right beside her. Clarkes stops midmotion, frozen by the first words that Octavia has said to her directly since she heard about Bellamy.
"I…" Clarke trails off not sure how to answer her.
Her voice seems finally to snap Octavia way from the faraway place she was in. "It's not right that he isn't here Clarke."
Dread washes over Clarke swiftly.
"He came back for you." The simple statement knocks Clarke back. She recoils from Octavia dropping the girl's hand defensively.
"Octavia, I …." Clarke fumbles as regret wraps around her heart and squeezes.
"The last time I saw Bellamy, he said he had this. And now I will never see him again." Octavia looks at Clarke, tears swimming in her eyes.
Clarke feels wetness on her cheeks but doesn't know when she started crying.
"I'm mad at you Clarke." Octavia says "I'm furious with you for closing the door on Bellamy. You let him die."
Clarke's breath catches her throat. She can barely breathe in the moment.
"He was safe Clarke. Alive and whole when I saw him. Barely even a scratch on him. But he had to come back to this place, to these people, to you. Because you told him you needed him. You told him you forgive him. He wouldn't just turn his back on you." Octavia angrily whips the ribbon out of her hand. But it merely floats down to the ground docilely.
But Octavia doesn't even see it. She is moving quickly to Clarke, gripping her shoulders, a crazed look in her eyes. "How could you do this to him Clarke? How could you turn your back on him? How could you leave him here to die?" She yelled at Clarke.
"Octavia!" Lincoln yells from the shadows. "That's enough." He swoops in breaking Octavia's hold on her. Abstractly, she should have known that Octavia wasn't alone, Lincoln was watching over her making sure she was safe.
He turns her away from Clarke, cupping her jaw so she is looking into his eyes. "Stop Octavia. Stop blaming her. Stop blaming yourself."
Octavia just completely collapses against him, wailing over the loss of her brother. Emotion had her pounding her hands against a man build as solidly as a wall. He stood taking it, allowing her to let out her emotions all over him.
Clarke sucked in a breath in shock. Monty's hand falls onto her shoulder. She looks up and sees that they have attracted a small crowd. Behind Month Clarke could see at least three people lingering, gawking at the scene.
"Come inside now Clarke." Monty says with a kind smile.
She nodded numbly, climbing to her feet. Monty walks her to her tent silently. She nods to him in gratitude.
Before she goes into her tent, Monty says her name. "Clarke. Everyone is grieving still." He says solemnly. "She is just trying to deal with it, to learn to live without him."
"I know." Clarke whispers.
As it turns out, time didn't need to heal this wound. It needed an honest to goodness miracle.
By some measure of good luck, destiny and crazy opportunity, Bellamy had survived. One day she heard yelling from outside her tent. It deftly turned into a roar of victory. The king had lived, despite being betrayed by the princess.
She lingers in the background of his warm welcome home. She stays in the shadow of a tent and watches as he reunites with Octavia. Their smiles so bright, it lights up their faces.
Clarke doesn't know how to describe how she is feeling. He is alive and that is so so good. But there is also a part of her that now worries about what will happen when they come face to face. Her stomach turns filled with anxiety. But she can't avoid him forever.
He finds her quickly. Maybe doing inventory in the dropship was not the most creative hiding spot she could have picked. He swoops into the dropship, a flurry of energy and boldness.
"So I came back." He says with a smile on his face.
The whisper of Octavia's words echoed in her head. He came back to the camp, to the 100, to her.
"Good." She answers. Her face crack into a smile. Her smile feels brittle. The muscles in her face are stiff in moving like she hasn't had a reason to smile in a while. She supposes she didn't.
Bellamy must sense her anxiety. He comes up and stands beside her seemingly helping her tidy their supplies. She can smell the sunshine and forest on him. He is radiating heat. He is close enough to touch. His presence comforts her now like it never did before.
He shuffles supplies around on the table, tidying absolutely nothing. His eyes stay focused on the table in front of him. But his hand freckled and smudged with dirt ever so lightly brushes against hers and he answers back "Yea good."
A/N: So we have lots to talk about the 100 friends… I started writing this a few weeks ago but trip planning took precedent over everything else… But the trip was good in particular because I went to NYC and I just so happen to be in town for NYCC (not really it was all VERY carefully orchestrated) so I saw the premiere. I'm excited for everyone to see 201. I'm sure we will be talking ;) Premiere tmr guys! I'm so excited! Also sorry if this wasn't too heavy on actual Bellarke. I had grand plans for a huge reunion but my muse took me another way. She decided that we would have a quiet Bellarke moment with subtext… what a life ruiner! ;)