"81st and 1st" he said to the cabby as he slumped into the back seat, he looked at the transport union license briefly, "Thankyou Jose." He rubbed his face and sighed a deep breath before catching the cabby's eye in the rear view mirror,

"Rough day, hombre?"

"You have no idea,"

"You can talk if it helps; I'm a great listener,"

"If it's alright I think I might just think this one through on my own,"

"Of course, of course,"

He even turned the ethnic music down; he was definitely getting one hell of a tip, the send my kids to college and feed the extended family for a month kind of tip.

It wasn't like it was his fault; it was Robin and her boob-shaped boobs. Sometimes he found himself wishing the woman had never been at McLarens that night, Ted wouldn't have wasted a year of his life with her, Ted wouldn't have ignored him, he wouldn't have maxed out one of his credit cards at sky mall, he wouldn't have been hit by a bus and he wouldn't have had that near-death experience that unfortunately made him re-evaluate his awesome lifestyle.

See, it all came down to that one night at McLarens and the ridiculously good looking green sweater, like way too good looking for a garment that actively covered flesh. Seriously the thing was like a freaking anti-bro.

And then she had to be all awesome and great when she joined him on his broings on about town. Why couldn't she just be like a normal chick and slap him or something? Slapping he's used to, but girls who commend him on his bad habits, this was strange and different, girls who actively sought out prospective conquests for him and then congratulated him for scoring, girls who obliged in a congratulatory high-five after having sex with him…this was strange new territory.

He let out an exhausted sigh and buried his face in his hands. "Okay so I have this friend and I'm pretty sure I might love her, but the thing is, she's an awesome friend and if she finds out I have these feelings she might...push me away and that's the last thing I want."

Jose turned the music off and considered Barney's reflection in the rear view mirror, "Sounds to me like you don't have the cojones to tell her you like her."

"No, I have muy grande cojones, it's just complicated,"

"You Americans with your complications, it's simple, boy likes girl, maybe girl likes boy, maybe not, boy will never find out if he sits in a cab talking to a driver. Tell her you like her, see what happens from there."

"Take me to 75th and Amsterdam,"

"Si señor," but Barney didn't miss the smile on the cabby's face as he turned around and headed back for the bar.