OK! Another one-shot! Yes, I know, haven't I gotten sick of one-shots yet? Nope, not at all. Especially when you're reviewing, but sadly, I think my one -shots are going to have to end. I got no more imagination left. Yeah, so this is another Emmett fic. Just comedy, no fluff this time.

All human and I don't won Twilight.

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Edward's POV

Emmett, Jasper and I decided to go have a boy's night out after getting tired of playing truth or dare. It was so much fun. Emmett was such an idiot! We dared him to dye his hair purple, green, blue, orange, pink and yellow- I can't believe he did it.

Though, up 'til now, I'm wondering where Jasper got all the dye paint. And knowing Emmett would want payback-we decided to end the game.

There was nothing left to do but go to a club.

So, Emmett showed up with his hair like that since he'd have to at least leave it like that for two days until you can wash it off. It was so comical. He looked like a smoker, a Goth and…I don't know-just plain weird. It's like we've dunked his head into a drum of paint. He even designed his hair into spikes!

Then, we noticed an old man sitting in the bar and having a whiskey while looking at us, well, particularly Emmett. But I thought anyone would look at Emmett that way. Especially with his hair and his big brute body.

We decided to just shrug it off and went on the dance floor.

"Hey, Edward." Jasper called. "That creepy old guy is still staring at Emmett."

I laughed. "Maybe he has a crush on him?" He laughed, too. But it was really starting to bug us out.

After hours and hours at the club, the old was still there, drinking the same whisky and stared at Emmett. Finally, Emmett had enough, and being the guy that he is, we wouldn't want him to act his rational thoughts.

"I know what I'm doing." He just said to us.

He sat himself next to old man and smirked at him mockingly.

"What's the matter old timer? Never done anything wild in your life?"He asked.

Without batting an eye, he replied:

"I got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

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That was definitely a burn! I got a bonus story!

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What's wrong with my I.D?

One Afternoon, Emmett and Rose we're left out in their classroom.

Emmett kept on staring on Rosalie's student I.D., which was strange because usually, guys would look at her, or her body.

Then, finally, Rosalie had enough.

"What's your problem?" she challenged. "Why do you keep on looking at my I.D.?!"

The curiosity was bugging Rosalie to death. Emmett smiled at her, very warmly and replied:

"Because, I was waiting for my last name to be placed in there."

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Do you get my bonus story? Hehe. It means, they'll get married. Because If Emmett's surname to be transferred to Rose, it means they're married, right? And Please review. I had only few remaining hours and then I'll be going back to school. Please visit my poll and other works.

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