This is a FlackxYOU fic so enjoy!
YOU are a bit of a nerd (because you love books), you hate Miley (everyone does), and and your name is insert name here! Have a nice day.
You met Flack at a bookstore, when you accidentally dropped books on his head. He was looking at a book waaaay down there, when you dropped a huge encyclopedia on his head.
Then he died.
Kidding. He almost fainted, though. It's a good thing the store keeps some ice (?!?!), and you kept apologizing and bowing over and over and helped with the bump on his head. After the worst case scenario, you introduced yourselves. He offered to treat you to dinner to make up for your overly-embarrassing, horrific, crowd-attracting apology.
You didn't know what to say. You wanted to say because it's really embarrassing. You wanted to say yes because he's hot, he's forgiven you, it's free, and most importantly, he's hot.
You go with the latter, duh. You just have to make sure he won't end up in a manhole or something.
He chose to eat at T.G.I. Fridays. You notice there was a kid's party there and it's packed with people, but there was still room for at least a few more people. But when you glanced out the window, you saw this hobo with a book.
"HEY! That book!"
"Hm? Oh yeah… wasn't that the…?"
Flack also noticed it. It was that big book insert your name here dropped on him at the bloody bookstore!
"How'd he get it?! And that book is actually mine. I forgot to get it after I... you know, dropped it! And now that bloody wanker over there has his hobo hands all over it!"
"Looks like he's feeding it to a fire…"
"WHAT?!"
"Er, just kidding." I hope. "Let me go check, you order what you want and I'll just have some Fish 'N Chips." With that he exited the restaurant. The lady attendant looked annoyed when you finally sit down somewhere and hoped you wouldn't spot another hobo with another one of your books.
You look outside again much to the lady's annoyance. You see Flack talking to the hobo. He pointed at the book the hobo held. Then, the hobo reached into his hobo-ish jacket and chucked corn and peas at him. He threw corn and peas at this hot guy you just knew, whom you were about to have a great evening with, a good relationship with, a happy marriage with and the guy was RUINING IT.
"HEY! CUT IT OUT! OR ELSE I SWEAR LIKE HELL I'LL FUCKING KILL YO—" you yelled, and then everyone stared.
"Uhh…" you start. How to explain to a dining audience that a hobo is beating up this hot guy outside with corn and peas? A child asked, "Mommy, what's a %&#?" A few adults gave you dirty looks. You see a grumpy-looking guy give you the thumbs up and grinning.
You look back and see the hobo laughing toothlessly at Flack.
In an instant, you crashed through the window! Everyone gaped in shock. Flack was on the ground, staring in disbelief at this madwoman. The hobo stopped his laughing midway, so his mouth was wide open and you saw he had at least one tooth left. You also had your plate of pudding and chucked it at the hobo. It shot in his mouth! He fell over! The crowd went wild! Flack was running to you, arms wide…
Is what you imagined. But you were still stuck facing an audience, with Flack helpless to the hobo's peas and corn.
You still couldn't think of anything. So you yelled, "FREE FRIES!" and threw your fries in the air. Some kids ran to your side and parents started running around for them. Some elderly people woke up from their daily snooze. One yelled, "Knock the doors! KNOCK THE DOORS!" The old man flailed his arms around and ran for it like a headless chicken. Some grouch tried to tell him off but the geezer ran into him and knocked over the water dispenser which, in turn, splashed water all over the circuits. The waiter and the lady attendant started whispering and the manager came out. The hole where the circuit was caught fire. Since it was attached to the lights, the fire immediately burned the cords and the lights. The smoke alarm was activated. Then it rained in T.G.I. Fridays.
And you were in the middle of it all. You were still standing in your seat, in your 'Free Fries' position. There were still kids running around, clearly enjoying the "rain". Some adults were yelling and hiding under a table, afraid to get wet. The old man was still running around, singing "I'm Singing In The Rain." The grouch was actually enjoying himself… well, everyone's misery. He was jumping around and jeering at the hapless diners. The manager was yelling at the waiter, while the lady attendant was also shouting, pointing in your direction.
Oh, everything is going great. You turn to see how Flack is doing. He's actually dumbstruck on the spot, along with the hobo. Instead of laughing and chucking food at Flack, he started his toothless cackle at the restaurant and chucked the bits of food. He looked like he was gonna fall over laughing while picking up the food bits and chucking it over and over. You drop your hands in defeat.
____________
"Err… you okay?" Flack started. He could not understand after 5 minutes outside, total chaos can occur.
You lost your book, you have to pay for the damages to the restaurant, the party, the old guy's hospital bill. You haven't noticed you kept mumbling "I'm sorry" over and over again like a broken record.
Then SLAP.
Flack just gave you the backhand. Instantly, you were zapped back to earth.
"W-What the hell was that for?!" you managed to wheeze out.
"So I can do this."
Then, out of the blue he quickly swooped down and kissed you on the slapped cheek. You just stand there, astounded. You feel everything going red.
"Thanks for the fun evening, insert your name here. My girlfriend just died a few months ago and… I guess I needed some hilarious moment to make my day." He smiled. You went redder. He slipped his number in your hand and started walking away.
"Bye, insert your name here. Call me!" he waved and smiled for the last time.
"Bye." You weren't aware you were grinning like an idiot this whole time.
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A/N: Merry Christmas, Almira. :) (I hope you like this XD)
-Mrs. Kimblee :D