Saying that Beca and Jesse had struggled to conceive would be an understatement. They hungered for a child, they fought against the unknown barriers of life. They cried enough tears to produce water for a steam train. And their infertility struggles were something they felt as if they should be ashamed of, even if they knew it wasn't their fault. Beca was supposed to be able to bear children, that's what her mother had told her all of her life. "Women were made to carry babies, and men to carry footballs." She would always tell her.
Jesse and Beca knew they wanted a bigger family, just not right away. Beca was just starting out in her DJ business, making barely enough for rent and crippled in college debt. Jesse's long days consisted of keeping up with his scoring of movies, his blog, and his new office internship at Buzzfeed. So when they finally decided to start a family, they hadn't realized the rugged, uneven road paved before them.
Month after month was full of heartbreak, and one morning Beca had actually woken up sick. Her hopes shifted to it being morning sickness, but realistically she knew not to get her hopes up. But when she felt like she had beaten the odds, she was thrown back into reality. She sobbed on the bathroom floor in frustration, a bottle of wine on the side of the tub, and that's how Jesse knew that deep inside, Beca couldn't be shaken. She was still her, even if the sharp jaws of the world ate at her outsides.
But after two years and many pregnancy tests later Jesse and Beca had decided a new route. They had reached the peak of their jobs, paying off their loans on time and making a substantial living, and finally they came across an ad online for a fertility clinic. It was then they knew they had to try on last attempt. They wanted for a while to adopt as a mean to expand their family, but felt God telling them that the could have one more shot at a biological child.
"Well Mrs. Swanson," Doctor Jermaine began, flipping her exam gloves inside out and tossing them into the trash beside her, "We've got your test results back. But before we read them to you, I want to disclose that even with help, the success rate is different for everyone, especially for their first time."
Beca felt her heart sink deep into her chest, an unsettling feeling like she had just dropped a nausea bomb in her stomach. She subconsciously grabbed for Jesse's hand, feeling his clammy palms in hers as she shakily held on.
"We detected high levels of HCG, however, the lining of your uterus looked thinner than we'd like it back in the ultrasound we did."
"What does this mean?" Jesse nervously asks in place of his wife.
"I'm really sorry Mr. and Mrs. Swanson," She informs them sorrowfully, "But chances are you're not going to carry out the pregnancy to term. Realistically you may not even make it through this trimester."
"So we're pregnant," Beca begins, careful to be too optimistic. "But we're probably going to miscarry." She felt herself become pale, her head spinning around the facts.
"I'm really sorry Beca." She began but was cut off by Jesse.
"Beca, we've wanted this for so long," He stood up to wrap an arm around his wife in comfort, as she grabbed her paper gown and snugly wrapped it around her torso. "And what I'm hearing is we're pregnant! We beat the odds Beca! So even if we don't make it through this- which we're pretty blessed to have this - we need to focus on the time we may have with this pregnancy, we need to be positive."
Beca and Jesse went home that night and prayed together, asking God that this pregnancy would stick. It had been an exhausting two and a half years, both physically and emotionally draining. And though they were ecstatic of the news of the pregnancy, in the back of their minds' replayed the words of Dr. Jermaine.
They were fearful to get too hopeful, but they wanted to be excited for the time they had, so they decided to share it with only their close family and friends. They decided sharing would be best because if they did miscarry, they wanted to be surrounded by the love and support of their closest friends and relatives.
"Chloe?" Beca answers as the dial tone stops, and she hears the redhead breathing on the other side. "Jess and I have decided that we wanted you to share a very special moment in our lives together. We're pregnant, Chlo!" She excitedly announces, hearing the ginger squeal from the other line.
It broke Beca's heart what she was about to say next, but unlike her other friends, she knew Chloe got very attached and didn't want her to be heartbroken when the pregnancy ended. That was, if it ended.
"Chloe, we wanted to tell you only because we knew you'd get attached and overenthusiastic. And we have no means to kill that, but we want you to stay grounded here and be realistic."
"Beca, what's wrong?" She infers, sensing that there was a reason behind her sudden hesitance to let her celebrate.
"My uterus' lining is too thin to carry out a pregnancy and it's a miracle that we've even conceived." Beca feels a lump in her throat, feeling suddenly guilty for even bringing it up. "But they're expecting us to miscarry, at least more than likely. There's a small chance, but we don't want you to be disappointed if or when that happens."
Chloe silently cried gentle tears, streaming down her face as she could literally feel and inflict their pain on herself, even if she only had a jist of how they were feeling. But she was their friend after all, and she wanted to support them in anyway she could.
"Well Becs, if there is anything I can do to help you guys through this, just let me know. You guys are more than welcome to stop in at anytime."
Her heart was huge and her intentions were good, but Beca and Jesse regretted how much pain they felt like they could have inflicted on Chloe.
"Thanks Chloe. We'll let you know." Beca looks to Jesse behind her, feeling him wrap his arms around her waist.
The weeks leading up to their follow-up appointment and first ultrasound were nerve-wracking to say the very least. Every little cramp or spotting, (Which she didn't realize that a little was normal) scared her and she had called her doctor plenty of times in the eight weeks leading up to their first visit for solely the baby's development and Beca's health.
"Jesse," She whimpers, reaching for her husband's hand. "We're going to see a heartbeat, right?" She rhetorically asks just to hear herself say it aloud, as more of a statement.
As soon as Dr. Jermaine came in and handed Beca her sterile paper, Beca tucked it into the hem of waistband on her jeans and laid back, exposing her stomach. She felt every nerve wrack her body, and it was like looking life through a lense that wasn't hers. She and Jesse had felt out of character, a sense of de-personalization throughout the long eight week wait. Neither of them felt like themselves, not wanting to even engorge their problems in cheap beer (At least only Jesse, not drinking was secretly killing Beca, not because it wasn't worth it, but if she wasn't pregnant she would've loved a beer.) and watching The Breakfast Club and other classics together. Beca and Jesse would watch it together yet separately, because Jesse loved watching movies, secretly lip syncing along and intensely dissecting the meaning of the movie , while Beca was turning her musical ear to thinking of mash-ups to make from all the different movies.
"Beca, whatever happens, we're still us. You and I, me and you, us. Nothing will change that. Most importantly, having 'us' means having each other for support together."
"Okay guys," Dr. Jermaine interrupts, "If you could turn your attention to the screen so we could see if your baby's heart is beating, healthy and strong…" She begins.
Silence was heavy and tension thick, the only audible sound being their heavy breathing as Dr. Jermaine waved her monitor across Beca's stomach. It wasn't until the small gasp that Beca's heart dropped, realizing that it wasn't a gasp like that that would signify a miscarriage, but something bigger.
"Oh my," She mutters, then smiles with amusement.
"What? What's the problem?" Jesse demands assertively.
"Dr. Jermaine?" Beca reaches for her husband's hand, calming down his raging panic as it began to build in herself.
"Well, you're definitely pregnant." She finally remarks and their hearts jump with excitement rather than pounding with fear.
The heartbeat monitor beats strongly, and the lining of her uterus had visibly thickened. In fact, she would have for sure miscarried if her uterus hadn't thickened, and it was that sudden realization across their minds' when the second heartbeat had filled the room.
"What the heck?" Jesse snapped, but Beca's jaw just dropped silently.
"Wait, I think you're gonna wanna hold your excitement." Dr. Jermaine laughs, and watches as the new parents go pale. "This isn't too uncommon, especially when you have more than one embryo implanted. They both took, and even crazier, they both split."
"Split? As in two more of each?" Beca finally sputtered out.
"They both divided into two, resulting into four healthy babies." She informs them matter-of-factly, emphasizing the number four as she grinned in joy from ear to ear.
Beca sat up suddenly, knocking Dr. Jermaine back as she excitedly embraced Jesse, him picking her up off the exam table and spinning her around before realizing the joyful ruckus they were creating. It didn't feel real that she was pregnant, let alone with four babies, but the beginning of their rugged road had only started.
"Congratulations. I'm sure it's gonna take a while to truly sink in, but please take it easy. Though the lining has thickened significantly, the risk of miscarriage, preterm labor, or stillbirth comes up as well."
She gives them the ultrasound as Beca yanks the paper from still inside her jeans, and wraps herself around Jesse's arm, walking out of the clinic with a new kick in her step, and not the smallest thing could ruin her day, not even when her dad had called to tell her that he and Sheila were coming over for dinner later that night.