On A hot summer day Dean took Sam out on their yacht, down with their summer cabin in Texas. Sam hoped this would get Dean in a good mood and hoped that this would be Sam's days off. Dean looked happy when they woke up in the cabin the day after they had arrived; he turned to Sam and almost smiled because of the sun that poked his head around the curtains… Sam could see the almost happiness in Dean's face. So Sam didn't know if this would be the day he had been longing for, the day Sam wouldn't get beaten up by his big brother..
Dean gave his little brother bruises almost every day, not always on new places, no, he could swing his fist on an almost healed bruise so it would hurt even more the next day. He made sure that nobody saw the bruises he gave him, as he always hit him where people wouldn't see them, covered by clothes, such as the stomach, his shoulders, his legs and the occasionally hit in the face… Dean hadn't always been violent. Before, they were loving each other unconditionally. But that was when their father was with them. John was now in a nursery home in Kansas, so he was no longer there to control his son's built up anger.
Dean had no one to get his aggression out on and Sam was there all the time, too scared to leave, didn't want to leave the love of his life either. You might call Dean a psychopath, but he wasn't, no way that Sam's own big brother was a psychopath… Sam loved him with his whole heart, and he hoped that Dean loved him back..
"Dean?"
"What?" Dean snarled.
"Can I meet up with a friend today?"
"No you can't; you are going to be with me out on the yacht…"
"But Dean? Please, I promised him" Sam said with a shaky voice.
"Him? Who?" Dean demanded.
"A friend…."
Dean took a grip in Sam's hair and dragged him over and looked in his eyes, gave him a look that said 'You better tell me, or else…'
Sam was afraid, so he told him.
"His name is Evan" Sam said.
"Last name?"
"Are you seriou.." Was all Sam got to say before Dean hit him on the jaw bone so it felt like it almost broke.
"Don't talk back at me, you answer whatever question I god damn have for you!" Dean yelled.
Sam glanced over at Dean with a hurt look in his face and answered him with a solemn tone; "Jacob, Evan Jacob, I've known him for years!"
"You better follow my orders and go with me on the yacht, and no more talking about this Evan…" Dean snarled at him before he went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Sam heard a loud scream and realized that he had forgot to buy new toothpaste.. Now, all hell broke loose.
Before Sam could turn around on the bed to go and hide, he had a ice cold hand on his neck squeezing tight.
"Sam? Forgot something?"
"I'm so sorry, please don't hurt me"
"What did you forget?"
"Dean please..." Sam was on the edge of crying. Dean heard it in his voice, it pissed him off…
"What the fuck did you forget? Answer me"
"Toothpaste, toothpaste Dean, please let go of my neck"
Dean squeezed harder. "Why did you forget toothpaste? Do you want my breath to stink? I sure don't"
Sam had forgotten because he was busy talking to Evan at the mall, and had to rush home because of 'curfew'. He couldn't tell him that, then he would probably break his neck in anger and jealousy…
"I just forgot it, it slipped my mind! Please!" Sam pleaded.
"You're impossible… Get you're lazy ass down and make us some decent breakfast while I'm squeezing out the last tiny bit of toothpaste that's left"
"Yes, Dean!" Sam said emotionless.
Sam sat down at the end of the stairs to think things through… He is not a psychopath, He is not a psychopath, He is not a psychopath!
That was all the had time to think, Because Dean threw a slipper in Sam's head. "Wake up" Dean shouted at him. "I'm awake, come on Dean, please stop being so violent"
"I'll show you violent" Dean said and went into the bathroom again.
Sam ran out in their garden looking desperate around him, didn't know what the hell he was going to do, they were in the middle of nowhere. The reason for the cabin being built in the middle of nowhere was that Dean wanted it to be a peaceful get-away for the two of them.. Or so he thought..
Sam walked down to the boat waiting for Dean to come down there and do whatever he had in mind, he didn't know. It could be anything, like hitting him in the head with a glass bottle or, using his stomach as a boxing bag… It could be anything.
"Sammy?" Dean looked out the front door with a smile…
Sam didn't know if he should answer or not, he thought it maybe was best to answer him, that way he might not get that mad, and be a little nice about it all… But, when was Sam going to learn?
"I'm down to the boat" Sam stuttered.
"Get your ass up here… NOW" Dean yelled.
Sam looked down and walked over to Dean.
"Coming" Sam said with a shaky voice. Dean could see Sam shivering and felt kind of proud. When Sam was standing in front of him, he smacked his open palm over his face. Sam's face turned red, in anger, and of course a little because of the hit but mostly because of the anger he felt inside, he lost control… "STOP HITTING ME, WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU?" Sam heard himself shout out. It was first when his face was pressed down in the stones at the ground he'd realized that he had just yelled at him. Dean kicked Sam several times before he went back in.
''Do you always have to be such a little shit? You worthless piece of shit!'' Dean yelled.
Dean went inside and turned on the TV, waiting for Sam to come in and make some breakfast. "SAM! BREAKFAST NOW"
"Can I wash the blood of my face first? Please?" Sam stood in the hallway looking at Dean with blood running down his face, dripping down on his blue t shirt. Dean turned his head away from the TV to answer him, when he saw Sam standing there, bloody and hurt, he couldn't feel anything other than pride. He had manage to make him bleed. "FAST, I don't want your fucking blood in my food.." he said.
Sam had to seriously think over his situation. If he should stay with his brother who he loved so much, or run away and live a lonely life.. But, would it be better? He didn't think so. He would be lonely, and he would miss Dean so much.. He loved his brother with his whole heart, hitting or no hitting. He was just getting tired mentally. His body could handle it though. He was sure of that!
No, he was going to stay and hope things would get better! He stepped out of the hallway bathroom and walked over to the kitchen area to make his brother some breakfast.
"What do you want to eat?" Sam asked.
"Whatever"
"Whatever's, coming right up"
"Don't be smartass!" Dean said and scowled over at Sam.
"No, sorry.'' Sam stuttered. ''What do you think about eggs and bacon?"
"Whatever… Just hurry, I'm fucking starving"
Sam lid up the stove and put the frying pan on, then went over to the fridge to get the eggs, butter and the bacon. He put it down at the bench at reached out for the salt and pepper that was on a shelf above the stove and looked down at the frying pan to watch out for his t-shirt who was dangerously close to it. When he was about to cut a slice of butter to put on the pan, he felt something in his eyes, he took his hand up to his eyes and realized it was tears… He hadn't noticed that he was crying. Dean had, he saw it when he turned away to see how it was going. He just wanted to walk over and give him a good kicking for crying to close to the food. But he didn't, he just sat still and watched his little brother cry while making him a real good breakfast!
He could see how he was trying to fight the tears back, saw how he sometimes stopped up and tightened his eyes trying to stop them from pouring…
Sam turned the stove off and turned over to face Dean, and said "I cant do this anymore" before he sank down on the kitchen floor and looked at Dean, prepared to get his ass kicked for even thinking about leaving him. I gotta get out. Sam thought. Dean didn't move, just continued watching TV. "Did you hear me? Dean?" "I Cant let you punch me around anymore… I cant take it! It is draining" he was crying full on now.
Dean's head didn't move, he just said "finish breakfast" Then he moved his head to see Sam sitting on the floor with his knees pressed hard to his face.
"NOW" Dean screamed.
Sam got up from the floor and continued frying the bacon. This time he could not help himself, he shattered a few tears right down on the food, Dean saw it and threw the TV remote in his head.
"Sam! Come here" Sam walked over to him and stared at him with fear in his eyes. "Do me a favor, put whatever you're frying aside and give me a blow job"
"Dean! My lips are hurting real bad! Please… If you want, I can give you a kiss?'' Sam said.
Dean gave Sam a dangerous look and took his shirt and said "I don't want you're fucked up lips on my mouth… Now, get to it.."
Sam was sure, that was the cruelest thing Dean had ever said to him!
Sam got down on his knees and watched Dean unbutton his pants and licking his lips. Sam gasped in some air before putting his mouth on this big thing, it hurt. Dean thrust his hips forward into Sam's mouth! Oh god that hurt, it stung and it felt like his lips were torn up. Sam had gotten to the point where he felt disposable. At this point he was just a hole for Dean's manhood.
As the weeks went by, Sam got more and more tired of his brother beating him and making him do things he didn't want to do. Sam was blue and purple everywhere. Beaten un both mentally and physically. All he ever wanted was Dean's love, but he couldn't seem to find it. He had given up on it. It hurt to think that there was no love inside of Dean. Sam was lost, lost in Dean. Sam needed to get the hell out, it was dangerous there, but he didn't know how to leave, didn't know where the emergency exit was, and didn't really know if there was one.
Were they meant to be together? Sam found it hard to believe anything else. He knew it was for the best if he one day got his bags and left him! He could stay here in the middle of nowhere to rot as the piece of shit he was! Sam instantly felt bad for thinking bad thoughts of his brother, the man who fed him, housed him and financially supported him...
Dean was all out of shaving cream. So, of course he turned to Sam.
"Sam! I'm out of shaving cream. What are you gonna do about it?" he said and smiled.
"Buy some for you?" Sam asked with a very insecure smile on his face.
"Yes. Get your ass in gear. And please, stop smiling at me with your crooked smile." Dean demanded.
"Yes Dean, I'm right on it, sorry.." Sam walked out the front door. When he stood beside the car, ready to pop in, he realized he'd forgotten his wallet in the kitchen. Before he had the chance to turn around to go inside and get it, Dean opened the front door and threw it in his head and screamed, "You idiot!"
When Sam arrived at the supermarket he tried calling Evan with his cellphone, but he was out of credit. He went up to a phone booth and called Evan from there.
''Evan, I need help!'' Sam said. Sam put his hand up to his mouth. He couldn't believe that he had just said that. Oh, if this ever got back to Dean..
''What is wro..'' was all Sam heard before he hung up. He was in deep shit right now.
Sam heard his cellphone ring when he got back in the car.
''Hello?'' Sam said.
''What is wrong, Sam?'' Evan asked.
''I was just joking!'' Sam said.
''Oh, sure! So, what's up?'' Evan asked.
Sam didn't feel relief by Evan believing him, he felt like shit. Deep inside he wanted Evan to demand to know what was really wrong. ''Oh not much.. Just at the supermarket, buying shaving cream!'' he said.
''Ok, I'll see you there in a few!'' Evan said and hung up before Sam got a chance to respond.
Sam went inside to buy the shaving cream. He wanted to buy some snacks too. He reached for a bag of potato chips. Dean was ringing in his head; ''You're such a fat pig! don't touch me!'' Sam put the bag back and turned away and moved towards the cashier to pay for the shaving cream.
''Hey Sam!'' he heard someone say. He turned around and saw Evan. Sam adjusted his jacket lapels to cover up any visible bruises.
''Hey Evan!'' he said and smiled.
''Fancy seeing you here!'' Evan said jokingly.
''Yeah..'' Sam said.
Sam paid for the shaving cream and waited for Evan to pay for his candy and soda.
When they got outside they sat down on one of the many tables and started talking.
''Want one?'' Evan asked and held out a bag of gummy bears. Sam really wanted one.
''No, I shouldn't!'' he said.
''Yeah, you have you shaving cream!'' Evan said and laughed. Sam laughed too. It had been such a long time since Sam had laughed. It felt good, but strange at the same time. It was like he was doing something he wasn't supposed to.
Sam's lapel fell down and Evan could see the bruises.
''Wow, what happened?'' Evan asked.
''I fell in the stairs.'' Sam was quick to reply before he straightened his lapel back up.
''So what's up?'' Sam asked.
''No, Sam what happened?'' Evan demanded.
''Nothing! I swear! It's all fine!'' Sam said and laughed nervously.
Evan looked at him suspiciously. Sam tried to dig his head inside the jacket even more.
''Did your brother hit you?'' Evan demanded.
''No! No! I fell!'' Sam said.
''I guess that explains the wounds in your face too?'' Evan said. ''You don't get scrapes in your face from falling in stairs. Not even if you fall down the whole staircase!'' Evan said. ''Please, tell me what really happened!''
''I fell outside too!'' Sam said and looked down. ''I'm such a klutz!'' Sam said and laughed loudly to hide the tears coming through.
Evan took Sam's hand and looked him straight in the eyes. ''Please, I want to help.'' he said calmly.
''You wouldn't understand'' Sam said and looked away. Evan took Sam's face in his hands. ''You don't have to go through any of this alone! I wanton be here for you! I have seen enough people getting beaten up at home to know that you are lying about falling!'' he said. Sam just looked at him. Thinking about a reply. Wondering if there was a reply in the whole world who would get him out of this one.
''I love Dean! He's my brother! Big brothers are supposed to rough up little brothers! It's all in good fun!'' he said and smiled.
Evan took both his hands and said ''No Sam. This is not how it is supposed to be. No one has a right to hit anyone.'' he said.
Sam squeezed Evan's hands and whispered ''Help me''
''I will, I promise I will! Just tell me what is going on!'' he said.
''Dean.. Uh..'' he said and wiped a tear. ''Dean hits m badly every day.'' he said.
''Ahw, Sam'' Evan said before he pulled Sam close and hugged him. Evan could feel tears approaching. He had to be strong, for Sam! He wiped the tears away. ''Sam. You are going to stay with me tonight!'' Evan said.
Sam pulled away ''Oh no, I can't. I need to get back!'' Sam said, clearly afraid. It was in his eyes. A look of intense fear. ''Dean wouldn't like me being away! I'm late as it is!'' he said as he looked at his wrist watch. Sam got up and started to walk towards his car.
''Sam please!'' Evan said before Sam got in is car.
Sam drove off with tears streaming down his face. The tears stung in his wounds.
Evan got in his car and drove after Sam. He was going to watch the cabin just in case Sam needed help.
When Sam had parked his car he went inside to find Dean waiting in his favorite chair by the TV.
''You are late.'' Dean said. ''Extremely late. You have been out for two hours. It takes ten minutes to buy shaving cream.''
''I'm so sorry!'' Sam said. ''Please don't hurt me''
Dean held a belt in his hands. ''What are you doing with that belt?'' Sam asked, scared shitless.
''Oh, I don't know.. What do you think I should do with it?'' Dean said.
''I don't know'' he said and glanced over.
''Should I maybe hit you with it? Or maybe I should whip you with it? Oh, I know, I think I will put it around your neck and drag you around the room!'' Dean said and jumped up from his chair.
Sam slowly backed up until he hit the wall. ''Dean, please, I beg you, please!'' Sam pleaded. Dean was standing right in front of him now. Sam got down on his knees and begged Dean not to do it.
''Good you're in position.'' Dean said before he made a hoop with the belt. ''Please!'' Sam begged. The tears was streaming down his face. ''I won't do it again, I swear! I'll be good!'' Sam cried out.
''you word means nothing to me. NOTHING!'' Dean said before he kicked Sam in the stomach with full force. Sam fell forward, only supporting himself with his hand on the floor, the other one on his stomach.
Dean put the hoop around Sam's neck and tightened. Sam tried his best to get it off, but it was too late. There was no space between the belt and his neck. Dean started slowly to walk around the cabin with his little brother being dragged around. Sam was panicking and started to kick around. Dean yanked the belt hard. Sam's face was turning blue from no air. Sam managed to kick over a vase so it smashed into a thousand bits. ''That was mom's you little piece of shit!'' Dean screamed before he hit his head with a pan with full force. Sam blacked out. Dean continued to drag his little brother around the cabin, occasionally yanking the belt. Sam made gurgling noises. He was completely blue in the face at this point.
Suddenly Dean heard the door being kicked out int he hallway. He yanked the belt as hard as he could before he heard the door fly open.
''THIS IS THE POLICE!'' he heard from the hall. He kept tightening the belt.
The police officers ran in to the living room. ''DROP THE BELT! NOW!'' he screamed. ''HE IS NOT ARMED!'' the other one screamed. The policemen jumped on Dean so he fell to the ground. They cuffed him before checking on Sam. Sam's pulse was going extremely slow. He was nearly not breathing and was still unconscious. Evan ran in to the living room where it was all happening.
''Sam!'' Evan yelled before he threw himself down on the floor next to Sam. ''Don't die on me, Sam!'' he screamed.
''Who the fuck are you?'' Dean demanded, he was sitting on the sofa next to a police officer, cuffed, while the other police officer was calling for an ambulance.
''I'm Evan! and you must be the idiot who's been beating Sam up!'' he yelled. Dean just looked at him and said ''Yes. He needs discipline. He's a worthless piece of shit, there's nothing else to do with people like him.'' Dean said. ''Maybe you want a piece of my belt too!'' he said and spit at Evan, but missed.
''You are the worthless one!'' was all evan could manage to utter at this point.
''Sam.. Please survive this! I know you can! You are the strongest person I have ever met!'' he said and took his hand and squeezed it lightly.
At the hospital a few hours later Sam had woke up. Evan was sitting next to his bed waiting patiently.
''Sam! Oh my god, you scared me half to death!'' Evan said when Sam woke up.
''I was half to death, I win!'' Sam said and tried to laugh, but his throat was hurting.
''That isn't funny Sam!'' Evan said.
''How did I get here? I swear I was going to die!'' Sam said.
''I followed you today when you drove home. And thank god for that!'' Evan said and took Sam's hand.
''Thank you'' Sam said.
''You don't need to thank me. I told you I wanted to help you! I'm only pissed at my self for not calling the police sooner! I was watching in the window. I should have called the second I saw your brother jump up with that belt. I feel horrible! Please forgive me..'' Evan said.
''Don't feel bad, Evan! None of this is your fault!'' Sam said and squeezed Evan's hand.
Evan sat himself down next to Sam in the bed. ''I'm just so thankful that you are alive'' he said.
Sam smiled at him and kissed his hand. ''I'm forever thankful to you!''
Evan looked Sam straight in the eyes. ''I think I love you, Sam Winchester!'' Evan said.
Sam put his hand on Evan's face and leaned in to kiss him.. The first kiss.. ''I love you too..'' he whispered..